“MY SOLEMN PLEDGE IS THAT CREWE WILL WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE” Crewe Alexandra owner
The Whitby Morrison Ice Cream Van Stand at Gresty Road has never seen anything like it. Flanked by his children Tiffany, Donald Junior, Thunce, Grebe, Prancer and Cupid, wife Melania and her $5 million Miniature Schnauzer, Donald approaches a lectern that’s emblazoned with the slogan “MAKE EAST CHESHIRE – INCLUDING THE NANTWICH AREA – REASONABLE AT FOOTBALL AGAIN” and addresses a grumpy-looking journalist from the Staffordshire Sentinel. “I’m twice as rich as Roman Abramovich, you know – he’s a dead-badger-bearded basket case,” he fibs. “We, The Railwaymen, will win the Champions League this year – that is my solemn pledge,” he adds, before being informed by one of his minions that The Alex aren’t in the…
