Table of contents for November 2019 in Real Simple

AT A FAMILY GATHERING, I came across a photo of my late grandfather in his Marines uniform and recalled stories my mom told about all the countries he served in during World War II. Then I thought about all the family dinners we’d shared over the years and how I’d never managed to ask him about any of it. At another gathering, I looked at the teenagers around the table, who weren’t saying much, and wondered how I could learn more about their lives. Even with people you know well, it can be hard to find that conversational spark that leads to new insights. This year, I’ve vowed to skip the same old questions about school and work and use a tip from our article on coaxing stories out…

Find more tricks to freshen up your home at realsimple.com/goodsmells.…

How to Buy BE PRICE SAVVY. Cashmere is priced based on weight. A heavier, better-quality sweater will run you about $250. A lighter, more basic one will cost about $150. OPT FOR A BLEND. Blends aren’t quite as soft as 100 percent cashmere, but they’re slightly less expensive and often last longer. CONSIDER COLOR. A sweater in a lighter color, like ivory, tends to feel softer than a darker one, since the yarn wasn’t exposed to as many dyes. How to Care WASH BY HAND. Cashmere is delicate, and handwashing helps prevent damage. Mix a mild detergent or a baby shampoo with cool or lukewarm water, and let your sweater soak for about five minutes before rinsing. Lay it flat on a towel to dry. Don’t wring it out—that…

TIPPING IS LIKE blockchain and Brexit: important, but super confusing. It used to be about showing appreciation for good service, but as minimum wage has plateaued (federal minimum wage is $7.25), workers have come to depend on it. What’s more, only seven states require tipped workers to be paid minimum wage before tips; in other states, their wages start at $2.13 an hour. So how do you make sure people are properly com-pensated, especially when most service-industry workers depend on gratuity? Consider this your tipping handbook. (You’re on your own with blockchain, though.) THE DEFINITES At a Restaurant Tipping between 15 percent (for average service) and 20 percent (for very good service) is suggested, says Robin DiPietro, PhD, professor and program director at the University of South Carolina’s College…

MEET LAWRENCE WHRITENOUR DEPUTY PHOTO EDITOR AT REAL SIMPLE Most Memorable Trip: A vacation in Greece, complete with gorgeous views and great food. Favorite Item in My Home: All my plants! Go-to Recipe: My mom’s chocolate chip cookies. I love to honor her memory by baking them when I miss her. @LWRNCJMSWON INSTAGRAM Healthy Side Dishes These delicious Thanksgiving sides will steal the show at your next family feast. Get the recipes at realsimple.com/healthysides. An Illustrated Guide to Cooking a Crowd-pleasing Turkey Our handy turkey-cooking guide details how to prepare the perfect bird every single time. Hone your skills at realsimple.com/turkey. Open and tap for Thanksgiving recipes. HOLIDAY SALES 101 Now that gift-giving season is gearing up, learn how to snag the best deals on Black Friday,…

Shani Darden This Beverly Hills–based celebrity aesthetician is known for treating tough acne and rosacea, and for her skin-care products, including hero Retinol Reform. For tips, follow @shanidarden. Kristin Ess Style Reviving Dry Shampoo “I go a few days without washing, so dry shampoo is a must. This strengthens while absorbing oil.” TO BUY: $14; target.com. Neosporin Original Ointment “I am never without a tube of this. I use it all the time—for cuts, for my kids’ scrapes. I even dab it on to help heal a pimple.” TO BUY: $5; cvs.com. Garnier SkinActive Water Rose 24H Moisture Gel “Moisturizing is one of the most important stepsin a skin-care routine. This hydrator is packed withhyaluronic acid and rose water. It stands out for its silky, lightweight texture.” (Darden consults…

1 ARRANGE PILES Start by sorting your paperwork into categories (household, school, pets). Shred outdated or unneeded documents that contain personal information, like your name, address, and especially Social Security or credit card number. Less sensitive documents can just be recycled. 2 SORT WITH EASE Create labels with big-picture categories listed first, followed by narrower descriptions (“Medical: Julie” or “Taxes: 2017”). Use manila folders with all right- or left-hand tabs—they’re faster to flip through than assorted-position tabs—and alphabetize. 3 SIZE APPROPRIATELY Determine how much storage space you need. If you maintain most of your files digitally, for example, don’t use a large filing cabinet. It’s a waste of space, and you may be tempted to fill it with files you don’t need or items that don’t belong in a…

AHHH, THE HOLIDAYS! Time to gather and make merry with your nearest and dearest. But also with your boss’s boss, opinionated relatives, and sugared-up children. Amid its joys, the season’s social whirl can bring lots of social anxiety, not the least of which is the all-too-common concern that everyone is judging us. “We fear that our weaknesses—in social skills, appearance, personality—will be obvious and that others will think less of us,” says Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Boston University’s Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders and the author of How to Be Yourself. The solution to this seasonal stress is not, alas, to find the closest dark corner and grab your phone for some self-soothing scrolling. It’s to remember that people are probably not worrying about you.…

I’m a divorced dad of two, and my biggest childcare challenge is navigating the life of coparenting. I try to find a balance between getting my time with the kids and respecting their need to be with their mom, even when it conflicts with plans I’ve made with them. It’s been hard to not take it personally, but giving up time has actually made my relationship with the kids stronger. I’ve seen how much they want a voice and how much it means to them to be heard. I work irregular hours and my husband’s job is more flexible, so he often steps in to help with childcare. When he can’t, I find it helpful to set conditions with work as early as possible. For instance, if my job requires…

Take a deep breath—holiday season is here. And with it comes the pressure to cook more (and cook better) than you do any other time of year. But food tastes best when the vibe is relaxed, so for most of the month, stick to no-fuss weeknight dishes, like shrimp stir-fry (page 132) and carrot soup (page 133). Make a prep list for Thanksgiving, then unwind on the couch with a pint of our favorite cinnamon ice cream (page 142). Even Turkey Day can be easygoing when you set out a tray of spice-topped pigs in a blanket (page 140) to keep the hungry guests at bay while you finish the gravy. Pressure, released. Easy Dinner 1 Spicy Sambal Shrimp Stir-fry ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 20 MINUTES SERVES 4…

R+CO CENTERPIECE ALL-IN-ONE ELIXIR SPRAY This multitasker cuts back on time and clutter. Spray it onto clean, damp hair and style. It detangles, treats, and boosts shine—all without weighing down hair. TO BUY: $32; randco.com. CÉLA ESSENTIAL BALM Dab on the solid-to-liquid oil to calm flyaways, brows, cuticles, and chapped hands, thanks to soothing botanical extracts and plant butters that also smell fantastic. TO BUY: $36; thisiscela.com. SUBTL BEAUTY STACK Instead of lugging all your makeup, create a travel-friendly stack. Choose shades of powder, highlighter, bronzer, lip and cheek tint, and concealer. The two-month supply fits in your palm. TO BUY: $12 to $14 each; subtlbeauty.com.   CURÉL MOISTURE FACIAL MILK An easy solution for sensitive winter skin. This lightweight lotion packs ceramides and eucalyptus extract to strengthen the skin…

One of My Decorative China Plates Is Chipped. THE FIX: If your china is white, it will be easier to repair, but this method works for colored and patterned pieces too, says Morty Bachar of Lakeside Pottery in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Mix up a 50/50 epoxy resin material (like PC-Products Clear Epoxy, $3; amazon.com) on a paper plate or small piece of paper with a toothpick. Then use the toothpick to smear the material onto the chipped-off piece; press it back onto the china plate with your fingers. Work quickly, as epoxy resin begins to cure in about 90 seconds. Allow excess to ooze from the chipped area and give it about an hour to cure. Then, using a utility knife, remove the excess epoxy resin from the china’s…

BEST HOME FRAGRANCE Saje Aroma Om Blush Edition Ultrasonic Diffuser When you can’t get to the spa, turn your home into one with this chic electric diffuser that doubles as an LED lamp. Fill the reservoir with water and add 10 drops of eucalyptus or lavender essential oil for instant calm. You can set it to run continuously for three hours or intermittently for six. A big plus: It’s super quiet. TO BUY: $90; saje.com. BEST TOOL Esker Restorative Oil + Allover Roller Duo Post-shower, smooth on the oil, then glide the beveled jade roller over your body to boost circulation and feel like you’re getting a massage. TO BUY: $98; eskerbeauty.com. BEST BATH PRODUCT Asutra Magnesium Flakes Soak Pain Away Add two cups of these flakes to a warm…

EARRINGS Details like clasping links, sparkly stones on open hoops, and Swarovski pearls make these baubles playful and eye-catching. BRACELETS Subtle arm charms—some with adjustable chains or personalized initials—can make a surprisingly grand statement. RINGS Barely there bands look equally pretty stacked together or sprinkled among different digits. NECKLACES Worn on their own or layered, these simple strands add interest and elegance to any outfit.…

FOR YEARS, I ENVIED the Little Free Library the size of a dormitory refrigerator at the local playground, its shelves stuffed with novels and nonfiction, picture books and back issues of the New Yorker. It was one of more than 90,000 worldwide, part of a project that began in 2010 as one man’s labor of love to ensure all people had access to literature. As an author and reader, I desperately wanted a Little Free Library of my own. I loved the generosity of neighbors sharing books with one another on home-built shelves labeled with the motto “Take a book, return a book.” I wanted people walking by my house with their kids and their dogs to pause for a moment and peruse the shelves, hoping to discover something…

IT WOULD BE NICE to think that in a health emergency—a man at the next table starts choking on his sushi, a woman in the elevator goes into labor—you’d swoop in like a superhero, giving aid until the EMTs arrive. But your first reaction may actually be, “I was an English/music/accounting major! What do I know about medicine?” “Anyone can step in and help out. You just need the willingness and confidence to do it,” says Jonathan Epstein, a paramedic and the senior director of science, industry, and government relations for American Red Cross Training Services. Many people are hesitant to help, Epstein points out, because they’re afraid of being sued or of accidentally doing something to make the situation worse. “Good Samaritan laws in all 50 states help…

Burnt Sienna Lips If rose has been your go-to, consider this fun fall option. The red-orange shade delivers a pop that’s edgier than pink but not as intimidating as red. It warms up all complexions, looking bold on fair skin tones and more nude on darker ones. Try Rouge Dior Ultra Care Liquid in #707 Bliss ($38; dior.com), which has oils to prevent lips from drying. Sunset Face Not sure which colors to wear together? Stick with peachy pink on eyes, lips, and cheeks for a monochromatic, romantic look. Swipe Nudestix Nudies Bloom in Sweet Peach Peony ($32; nudestix.com) over all three features. The creamy stick makes it a breeze to blend. Honey Cheeks For a blush update, give pink the backseat and usher in glow-inducing terra-cotta. Worn along…

BEST SWEET POTATO Terra Sweet Potato Chips Made with just three ingredients (sweet potatoes, vegetable oil, and sea salt), these chips have an ideal balance of sweet and salty. The thick-cut ripples give them a sturdy crunch, so serve them with your favorite dip or alongside a bowl of chili. TO BUY: $4; at grocery stores. BEST PUMPKIN SPICE Whole Foods Market 365 Spiced Pumpkin Pancake and Waffle Mix A fall upgrade on a classic. With buttermilk and real pumpkin, this mix makes holiday breakfasts a breeze. TO BUY: $5; at Whole Foods. BEST CINNAMON McConnell’s Fine Ice Creams Cinnamon & Oatmeal Raisin Cookies Swirled with cinnamon, this ice cream is made with grass-fed milk and packed with chunks of freshly baked cookies.TO BUY: $12; mcconnells.com. BEST MAPLE Base Culture…