Table of contents for 3/11/2020 in Move!

RECENTLY, my cousin, a wonderful young woman who had dreams and goals, died. A couple of weeks before she passed away, we were chilling at her house and I told her we need to plan a road trip. I’ll never forget her response: “We always plan these things and life gets in the way, and we let it.” And two weeks later, she was gone. With her passing, I’ve learnt not to let life get in the way of plans. I now get and understand what people mean when they say live your best life. I’ve learnt that making plans means making sure you fulfil them. That postponing them for “one day” might just mean it never happens. I’ve learnt to say what I mean because you might never get…

SHE sees herself as the perfect mother. One who will stand between her community and her thieving son at all times, pleading his innocence. She will do anything for her son, and right now, Scandal!’s Gloria, played by Marjorie Langa, is being tested daily. Her son, Kgosi (Given Stuurman), is the mastermind behind break-ins in their community and he even stole a TV from his family. Kgosi together with his friend, Kabza (Buhle Nhlapo), are terrorising the community by using hyenas’ tails to get people to fall into a deep sleep while the two of them clean out their houses. After he’s caught for his crimes, his mom insists he’s an angel and is being framed by jealous neighbours. PARENTING STYLE Gloria is overcompensating for not being part of her…

SHE’S got the biggest job on her plate right now. In e.tv’s Rhythm City, she’s become used to investigating David Genaro (Jamie Bartlett) as detective Kgomotso “KG” Madikgetla. Now she has the massive task of investigating his death. Lerato Zah’s character is the goto investigator in Diepkloof and is passionate about solving crime. Investigating David’s death is really putting her detective skills to the test, especially since becoming romantically involved with a suspect. “There’s something about him that makes her really weak. “Once she gets closer to the people she is investigating, she gets personal. That’s my only issue with her,” Lerato says. She’s so convincing when she acts that fans always call her by her characters’ names. “Wherever I go now, I’m no longer known as ‘Refiloe from Muvhango’,…

Parole allows for the conditional release of prisoners back into the community before the end of their sentences, explains correctional services spokesperson Singabakho Nxumalo. “An offender doesn‘t have to apply for parole,” he says. “About six months before an offender completes their minimum detention period – which depends on the sentence, the court’s order and other factors – the parole process begins automatically. “Each case is considered on its merits by a parole board, which can allow the remainder of the person’s sentence to be served in the community corrections system, under specific conditions and under the supervision of a parole officer until the end of the sentence.”…

Umgidi, a rite of passage for young Xhosa men, often poses a financial challenge to the family – but it can easily be navigated with careful planning and diligent saving. “Families know well in advance when their son will go to initiation school, so they can begin to structure a simple savings plan,” says Gerard Rogers, an independent financial advisor. “Start by opening a special savings account at your bank so you can compartmentalise your saving. “Work out an estimate of the total cost then decide how much you can save each month. By dividing the total cost by how much you can put away each month you’ll get an idea of when you’d need to start saving.” Many families start saving up to three years in advance, he adds.…

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Forget about café fare – wow family and friends with these delicious variations on this lunchtime standby SAMOOSA PIE SERVES 4-6 PREPARATION: 30-45 MIN BAKING: 35 MIN FILLING ■ 1 onion, chopped ■ 5ml (1t) crushed garlic ■ 2,5ml (½t) crushed ginger ■ oil ■ 7,5ml (1½t) ground cumin ■ 7,5ml (1½t) ground coriander ■ 3ml (generous ½t) turmeric ■ 1 green chilli, chopped ■ 125g beef mince ■ large handful fresh coriander, chopped PASTRY ■ 250ml (1c) iced water ■ 5ml (1t) lemon juice ■ 750ml (3c) cake flour TO FINISH ■ oil for brushing ■ chutney Heat the oven to 200°C. 1 Filling Fry the onion, garlic and ginger in a little oil until soft. Add the spices and chilli and mix. 2 Add the mince and stir-fry…

1 Talk to your friend If you are housemates say something like, “I’d like you to take the lead from me as to how things are done in my home”. 2 Explain your feelings Say, “I’m not happy about the following . . .” Give clear examples and avoid becoming personal. 3 Give details Say, “What I’d like to see happen is the following . . .” Then listen to what they have to say and what they suggest as an alternative. 4 Be fair Your tone should be serious and you should speak with conviction. 5 Be firm If the friend repeats their inappropriate behaviour, give them an ultimatum. Kanengone suggests saying, “This is what we discussed and agreed on and now that the agreement has been broken, I’m…

NTSHUXEKO MBOWENI Such a marvellous experience. However, long-distance relationships can be a bit of a pain in the neck. They bring about insecurities and jealousies. If you truly love your guy, go stay close to him. PEGGY MOKOENA Try to arrange to visit each other at least every two weeks. Be honest with one another and hopefully you will be able to decide who will move after you have seen how serious your relationship is. ALECK MOYO Understand the nature and direction of your relationship before you put 100% commitment into it. The festive season is a very short period of time, so maybe you didn’t have a chance to get to know each other thoroughly.…

MOST people choose their careers, but Trice Mazwi says her career chose her. When each of her three children were born with health problems, she decided to dedicate her time to creating healthier, organic and clean lifestyles for them, and to teaching others about it. Trice, from Lanseria, north of Rand-burg, launched her company SA Organic Lifestyle in Johannesburg in 2015. “I am passionate about organic (derived from living matter) living,” she tells us. “This career chose me, I didn’t have the privilege to choose it. It is now my purpose in life to share my experience, knowledge and expertise,” says Trice, who has a degree in metaphysical science and is currently completing her master’s degree. She says her work is in alignment with her personal and family values of…

A HOUSEHOLD enemy can be a wicked husband or wife, an envious brother, a greedy step-mother, an aunty who doesn’t want your parent’s children to do better than hers, or a colleague. It often takes someone close to you to either lift you or drown you. Household enemies are dangerous because you are usually less cautious with them. It takes an insider to know many relevant details of our life. You lower your guard at home because you believe you are among people who love and care for you. WATCH OUT There are various reasons people close to you will attack you. Some move with envy. There are those who are on an afflicting mission, those who are on an avenging mission and those who are on a killing mission.…

THIS lively event, called Celebrating South African Intellectuals through Heritage, took place at Umfolozi TVET College in Richards Bay. It was done in partnership with the KwaZulu-Natal department of arts and culture. The host was Ukhozi FM’s Bongani Mavuso. Bongani has been writing and reciting poetry for over a decade and has published several collections of Zulu poetry. Local maskandi and choral musicians entertained the audience between talks.…

HOLD BOYS AND GIRLS EQUALLY ACCOUNTABLE I believe the reason so many men refuse to be accountable for anything and feel entitled about what a woman must do for them, is because of women. African women raise their daughters like a military operation, while letting their sons get away with almost anything. When a daughter does something wrong there will be a family meeting and she must suffer the consequences of her actions. When the son does something, they brush it off – “Oh, he’s just being a boy.” What is he learning? That he doesn’t have to be accountable for his actions. ‘WOMEN SHOULD START CHANGING CONVERSATIONS WITH THEIR SONS’ That young boy will become a man who believes he can do anything and expect to not be questioned…

PROVIDING SUPPORT Guardian Angels Burial Society is based in Katlehong, Johannesburg, but not all its members are originally from the area and not all of them have families residing in Gauteng. So, when a member, or one of their family members, passes away the women do not only give support in terms of money that has been saved for the funeral, they also organise transport to go to wherever the funeral is going to be so that they can provide physical and moral support to one another. If you want your stokvel to be featured in Move!, send us your contact details and a picture of your stokvel members to: move@media24.com…

STEPPING into the triple-storey mansion in La Lucia in Durban is like walking into a showroom of glitz and dazzle. An enormous glass chandelier hangs from the ceiling in the foyer, which is flanked by glass balustrades along two long sets of stairs. Each room has its own theme and features custom-made furniture and plush rugs spread across expansive floors. In one wing is an entertainment pad kitted out with a home theatre with cinema-style seats, while another wing is home to a fleet of luxury vehicles. JUST A REGULAR FAMILY Welcome to the home of Shauwn Mkhize, one of Durban’s most high-profile businesswomen. She shares the space with her children, Sbahle (26) and Andile (18), after splitting from her businessman husband, Sbu Mpisane. Shauwn and the kids are the…

‘I DON’T RESTRICT MY CREATIVE PROCESS. IDEAS COME AT ANY TIME’ SHE’S proof that social media is a powerful tool. Lisa Mbali (25) got her start by posting an original song on Twitter. A week later Ambitiouz Entertainment called – and the rest is history. “I have the internet to thank,” she says. Everything fell into place for the talented muso who plays the clarinet and piano. Her new single, Ngamthola, was released on digital platforms and got great feedback. Lisa explains how the love-filled jam came about. “With my first single, No More, I was in a dark space and wrote about being in a toxic relationship and how I dealt with it. Ngamthola is part two of the story, where I find healing.” She says she’s found the…

SHE doesn’t shy away from the limelight. In fact, if being in the spotlight helps to bring more attention to young people with special needs, she’s all for it. Katlego Mkhonza (28) from Ekurhuleni is the founder of Living Able Foundation, which she calls a mouthpiece and home for young South Africans with disabilities. The philanthropist, who was born and raised in KwaThema, lives with spastic cerebral palsy. This development disorder prevents the normal development of motor function. Katlego can’t use her hands, her speech is impaired and she’s wheelchair-bound. She dedicates her life to making life easier for other young people facing the same challenges. IN THE BEGINNING Her mother, Sonto Mkhonza, says Katlego was a healthy baby and a day after her birth, mom and child were discharged…

SHE’S been confronted by strangers telling her that they think she’s ugly and disgusting. Macey Duff’s crime? Getting rid of her razor to embrace what she calls her true self. The result has been hair – everywhere. And Macey (19) wants to spread the message: to treasure the tufts nature has given us as beautiful and feminine – all the things society has taught us it isn’t. She’s part of a growing trend to banish bald armpits, legs and bikini lines and revel in hair flowing from every follicle – but that hasn’t stopped people treating her with revulsion. Macey doesn’t care. “I’m empowered by the doors it’s opened for me,” she says, adding that she’s happier, less stressed and more inspired. “Before I didn’t really know who I was.…

THE RIGHT MASK FOR YOU You already use face wash and moisturiser, so is a mask worth all the extra effort? The answer is, yes! Masks are designed to address specific skincare issues, whether to combat dryness, help reduce oiliness or deep-cleanse your skin. They can help you address specific skincare needs and are formulated to quickly deliver a high concentration of ingredients to the skin. Nkosazana Ngwadla (25) Content producer SHETRIED Sorbet Charcoal Peel-off Mask 25ml R69 The verdict I have oily skin and also suffer from breakouts quite often. I’m never sure what products to use because often I try something new for a few days only to have my skin react badly. So I’m usually wary of trying new products, but I was intrigued by this…

WE ALL face different challenges – some are minor, some are mammoth. It’s how you respond to them that makes all the difference. Some people allow themselves to be overwhelmed and others dig down within to rise above them. Testing HIV-positive is one example of a life challenge. It comes with facing numerous opportunistic illnesses, stigmas and romantic rejections. But these challenges should not throw you into a downward spiral. Instead, take it upon yourself to stand tall and be triumphant. Here’s how. ACKNOWLEDGE THE CHALLENGE Before you address anything, it is important to acknowledge that something is indeed a challenge and accept it. ‘ARROGANCE AND PRIDE ARE THE STUMBLING BLOCKS’ Many people fail at this first step because they are reluctant to acknowledge that they have a problem. There…

PISCES (19 FEB – 20 MAR) Communicative Mercury moves into your sign, freeing up words and loosening the tongue. It’s a good week to verbally express your feelings, show your compassion or share your concerns. It’s also the ideal time to express yourself through the art. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 30, 17, 26, 5, 48, 14 ARIES (21 MAR – 19 APR) Your personal year is coming to an end. It’s an opportune time to mull over options to kick-start your year, be it with a bash with your buddies, a celebration shared with loved ones or an adventure for one. Before you jump feet first into a new year, say goodbye to unfulfilling habits. YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS 50, 38, 27, 10, 49, 8 TAURUS (20 APR – 20 MAY) It’s…

“Congratulations on the birth of your baby,” says Kgadi Thobejane, a clinical psychologist from Pretoria. “What you are describing is called postpartum depression. It’s a maternal distress disorder. It’s a serious condition characterised by low mood, sadness, tearfulness, worries, a loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, and negativity towards the baby. “Intentions to commit suicide and to harm loved ones may also form part of this condition. Some people can recover satisfactorily with support from loved ones, but it’s important that you contact a mental healthcare practitioner who can assess you, prescribe medication and refer you to a counsellor. “Informing your mother and husband will increase the quality of support for you while you are on treatment. Recovery is difficult but possible, but the time it takes…

‘IT’S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT BODY TYPES’ IN A fit of temper, her four-year-old daughter lashed out with the most hurtful insult her young mind could muster. “You’re fat, Mom!” she yelled. Instead of losing her cool, US holistic health coach and self-help author Allison Kimmey used the incident as a teachable moment. She sat her daughter, Cambelle, down to discuss the implications of what she’d said. “I asked her, ‘What did you say about me?’ and she responded, ‘I said you were fat, Mama. I’m sorry’,” Allison recalls. She then used the moment to warn her daughter about the dangers of name-calling. “The truth is I’m not fat. No one is fat. It’s not something you can be. But I do have fat. We all…

1 Develop an attitude of gratitude for the elements in the ecosystem that make it possible for us to exist – like bees that are pollinators of the green kingdom and water. 2 Cut down on or eliminate the use of chemicals in your home. Use one cleaning product instead of 10. For example, bicarbonate of soda and lemon make a great all-purpose cleaner for your home. “If you clean with them, you are in no way affecting nature and you are saving R900 from all those cleaning chemicals you would have bought,” she says. 3 Use mostly or only biodegradable or recyclable material and less single-use plastic. 4 Plant your own vegetables and 5 fruit where possible. Support local stores, especially ones that employ disadvantaged people.…

Khumbul’ekhaya presenter Andile Gaelesiwe recently aired her frustration at never receiving awards, even though her show has millions of viewers each week. Move! readers have their say. Sister, the whole world recognises you. Why do you need an award? Helping people comes from your heart and God will reward you. PATTIE WA MOKONE KONE Life’s so unfair sometimes. She’s been working very hard to reunite families but she’s not being recognised. WELCOME NKOCIE MABASO Your time will come, sister. They may not recognise you but you’re so good at what you do. I love your interviewing skills and empathy for the people you interact with. PEARL NYAMENDE But she’s only the presenter of the show – there are also researchers, compilers, investigators, producers and so on. SY’MON OUPA MALAPANE I…

SEAWEED ice cream, anyone? No? Well then, how about a pancake made of cricket flour? Still not up your street? Can we interest you in an edible water bubble, perhaps? Sounds weird, yet these are just a few of the goodies that could be on our plates by the year 2050 – or even sooner. And eating meat – at least, meat as we know it now – will be a thing of the past. “Our current method of growing crops to feed to animals so we can eat animals is shockingly inefficient,” says Bruce Friedrich of the Good Food Institute, a US nonprofit organisation that works to develop alternatives to meat. “By 2050, almost all meat will be plant- based or cultivated.” So what will we be eating in…

THE characters are as different as night and day – the one an abusive partner on The Queen, the other a gay man on Uzalo. But for the actor who played them both, it’s considered just a normal stint in television and Fezile Makhanya has been loving every moment of it. PREPARING FOR THE UZALO ROLE Fezile says he asked friends for advice before tackling the role on Uzalo. “It seems I get exposed to certain things before I get a role. I have a gay friend; we’ve known each other for years.” Fezile asked his friend what he saw in men and he replied that he was simply attracted to them. He advised Fezile to pick up things from people he sees in the mall or on TV. “When…

MOTHERS are grieving, families angry and communities filled with rage, not just at those responsible for the recent murders of young kids but at the justice system for allowing their kidnappers and killers to get parole – despite previous convictions for serious crimes. In recent weeks five young lives ended savagely, allegedly at the hands of paroled convicts. The Phasha siblings – Katlego (9), Joyce (7), Tshepo (5) and Adel (3) – lived and died in Ga-Phasha village, Limpopo – nearly 1 800km from Tazne van Wyk (8), who lived in Connaught Estate near Cape Town. Tazne’s decomposing body was found in a stormwater drain outside Worcester in the Western Cape, while the slain Phasha children’s bodies were found near their home. DESPERATE FOR HELP The mothers of the children…

A SORE HEAD A man recovering from a very complicated bowel operation keeps complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an abdominal one, there is no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his worried nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some postoperative shock, speaks to the surgeon about it. The surgeon assures the nurse, “Don’t worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anaesthetic.” COMPULSION A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of white wine. He takes a sip, then tosses the remainder in the bartender’s face. Before the bartender can recover from the surprise, the…

■ Before you start, make sure your skin is clean and preferably exfoliated (unless you’re using an exfoliating mask). This helps the skin absorb the ingredients better. Applying your mask just after washing your face is vital because your skin is most absorbent then. ■ Apply the mask according to the package instructions and leave it on for the specified amount of time. Certain masks can be left on overnight. ■ Rinse or peel it off when the time is up and follow up with your normal skincare products for best results.…

Q SHE WON’T SEND HER CHILD TO SCHOOL Are there any legal consequences for not sending one’s child to school? My sister has a 10 year old who doesn’t attend school because she says it’s a waste of time. Is there anything we can do about this? ANONYMOUS, EMAIL A It is compulsory for children to attend school from the age of seven, and it is compulsory for children to attend Grade 1 up until Grade 9. If your sister refuses to send her child to school, you can bring this to the attention of the department of social development on 0860-142-142 or at dsd.gov.za and it will lodge an investigation. Q MY HOUSE ISN’T IN MY NAME In November 2017, I bought an RDP house. I borrowed money from the…

Mama Madikgetla is a registered social worker in private practice. She provides counselling to individuals, couples and families. She holds a Bachelor of Social Work, an honours degree in psychology and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in social work. Q FED UP WITH MY SON The behaviour of my 29-year-old son is hurting me. He has been to rehab more times than I can count. Every time we accept him back but he soon returns to his old ways. Am I cruel for thinking it is time for us to chase him away for good? MOM, EMAIL A It is always the close family members of addicts who are most affected by the user. As a parent, seeing your son behave like that affects you and it can be…

Dr Babalwa Funda kaMabhoza is an educational sexologist and businesswoman. She is a member of the Southern African Sexual Health Association (Sasha) and African Society for Sexual Medicine (ASSM). Q I DON’T LIKE KISSING Kissing doesn’t turn me on. When men kiss me, I become uncomfortable. Is there something wrong with me? ANONYMOUS, SMS A There is absolutely nothing wrong with you not liking kissing. It would, however, be interesting for you to discover the reason you do not enjoy it. Do you wonder about the cleanliness of your partner’s mouth? Do you worry about your own oral hygiene? Or is it something else? If hygiene concerns you, it’s important for you and your partner to see a dentist every six months for a check-up and clean. If that makes…

Power couple and co-authors Mo and Phindi advise a woman who fell in love while on holiday and is now struggling to be without her new bae. I’m a 28-year-old woman and I met my man during the past festive season while I was on holiday in Cape Town. Our relationship took off like a wildfire. We couldn’t get enough of each other. But I live in Bloemfontein and the distance is killing us! What we both know for sure is that we don’t want to end the relationship. How do we manage our long-distance love?…

Bridget Surtees, a Cape Town-based dietician, offers a few practical ways to make sure your child has both a healthy body and a healthy body image. ■ Be a good body-image role model. Don’t be a parent who’s constantly dieting. ■ Follow a healthy diet and enjoy healthy, nutritious meals with your children – and keep only healthy foods in your home. ■ Don’t ever tell your child you’re putting them on a diet. ■ Be an active family – go for hikes, swim, ride bikes, etc. Also encourage school sports during the week. ■ Don’t reward your kids with food. ■ Don’t talk negatively about your own body in front of your children, and don’t be critical of other people’s weight.…

BEING asked to be a godparent to a family member or friend’s newborn baby is an honour. But sometimes godparents believe this makes them the child’s legal guardian too, and this isn’t the case at all. Godparents have no legal or financial responsibility towards their godchildren if the parents die. Here’s everything parents need to be aware of to ensure their minor kids are taken care of if they die. THE GODPARENT The roles of godparents vary between cultures and families. Traditionally, it was a religious function with the godparent informally responsible for a child’s religious education. Today, it’s mostly an honorary position for a good friend or family member who can be a social and spiritual example for the child. The expectation is that the godparent will be interested…

1 It’s the end of the month and you’ve got R10 in your bank account but you’ve spotted the most amazing 2-for-1 blusher and lip kit deal. You decide to . . .? A Put it on the credit card. And get the points too! B Borrow money and buy three sets. One for you and two for friends. C Ask a staff member if the deal will be there after payday. 2 When you’re out in a cool new restaurant, what’s the first thing you do when you pick up the menu? A Check the prices to see what sort of mark-up they’re looking for. B See what they do best. If you like it, you try it. C Order whatever springs to the eye first. Or what the…

Don’t give out private information, such as your ID number, physical address and banking details to strangers. If you decide to meet, do so in a public place. Also, tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to be back. Don’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Always trust your instincts. Don’t assume that the person is who they say they are. It’s easy to pretend or provide false information over the phone or online. DISCLAIMER Move! magazine will not be held responsible/liable for anything that may arise with regard to readers providing each other with personal information. We advise participants to protect themselves from any criminal intent/activity.…