Table of contents for November 2019 in Guideposts

Like many families, we were in denial about my mother’s Alzheimer’s at first, even though her father and her two older sisters had died from it. Mom was a multitasker long before the term came into use. She would try to finish her daily crossword puzzle while cooking (and occasionally burning) dinner. She juggled numerous, sometimes unmanageable, volunteer commitments—den mother to a pack of Cub Scouts with Down syndrome, church librarian, coordinator of a furniture donation center for the disadvantaged. And she went to church every day. So no big deal when she began mixing things up. Except it was a big deal. The lapses became more worrying. They stopped letting her count the collection basket at church and shelve books in the library. Her handwriting, never good, became indecipherable.…

WE CAN RUN THE WHOLE DAY THROUGH “Mom, my sneakers are worn out,” my son said. He was deployed to Afghanistan and worked out regularly to meet the Army’s fitness standards. I told him his dad and I would send him a pair and asked if the men in his platoon needed anything. He said they needed sneakers too. An idea popped into my head: sneakers for soldiers. How could we get soldiers the right shoes and to a particular location? My husband and I spoke to community groups about donations and found a running store willing to sell us shoes at a substantial discount. After a local news station did a story about Sneakers for Soldiers, we got more shoe requests and more donations. We have points of contact…

New York, New York A knock on the door. my hand squeezed Jim’s. This is really happening. A serious-looking woman entered the hospital’s pre-op area. “Hi, I’m one of the surgeons,” she said. “I want to go over the procedure with you.” She explained how she would put some wirelike thing through a vein in my thigh and thread it all the way to my brain, where she would then cauterize the blood vessels feeding the tumor, all to reduce the risk of bleeding for the main act—the craniotomy and removal of the tumor—the next day. “Do you have any questions?” she said. “I have five children at home,” I said, before realizing that wasn’t actually a question. My mind was still on the end-of-life directives I’d signed minutes earlier.…

“kitten,” my mother said to me one day, “you should be my mother.” I was all of 14 years old, the oldest girl in a family of eight kids. I had dreams of becoming an actor and was painting a rhapsodic picture of my future in the theater when Mother offered her outlandish suggestion. “You’re strong, capable, sturdy,” she said. “You would be a great mother.” We both laughed at the absurdity of it, the sheer eccentricity, but she went on to say how much she missed having a mother. Hers had died when she was very young. “You can’t get over it,” she said. “It’s a gap you never fill.” She herself was a wonderful mother, though not much of a housekeeper—the laundry proliferated on top of the washing…

IF THERE WAS A WAY TO CAPTURE THE essence of my mom, Naomi, it was through her cooking. My childhood was filled with bountiful family dinners, especially on Friday nights, when we celebrated Shabbat, and mouthwatering holiday feasts. The kitchen was Mom’s domain, the same way the lab was my scientist dad’s. Both had grown up in the rough East End of London. My dad, Jack, had been as skinny as a rake. Mom’s cooking soon fattened him up. My brother and I were born in England. We were toddlers when our family moved to the U.S. for Daddy’s career. We had a typical American childhood in Bethesda, Maryland. We went to the local synagogue, where Mom eventually became executive director. In our house, the kitchen was the best place…

Family caregiver Stephanie Thompson’s situation is not unusual. According to a Home Instead, Inc., survey, 23 percent of American adults live more than an hour away from an aging relative they care for, and nearly 50 percent of these long-distance caregivers spend one full workday per week managing their loved one’s care. Here are some ways to make long-distance caregiving easier: Keep vital information on your senior in one place. This could be a notebook or binder (make copies for other caregivers) or a shared, secure online document. Divide into sections for health care, social services, legal and financial issues, and contact numbers/e-mails. The first few pages should have Social Security number, date of birth, health insurance and Medicare/Medicaid numbers. Under health care, list medical conditions, medications, treatment plans, doctors.…

Years of work by innovative engineers have resulted in a mobility device that’s truly unique. They created a battery that provides powerful energy at a fraction of the weight of most batteries. The Zinger features two steering levers, one on either side of the seat. The user pushes both levers down to go forward, pulls them both up to brake, and pushes one while pulling the other to turn to either side. This enables great mobility, the ability to turn on a dime and to pull right up to tables or desks. The controls are right on the steering lever so it’s simple to operate and its exclusive footrest swings out of the way when you stand up or sit down. With its rugged yet lightweight aluminum frame, the Zinger…

The Perfect Walker II enables you to walk upright and avoid falls. The Perfect Walker II has solved the uncomfortable bent over posture that has plagued users of traditional walkers and rollators. It enables you to walk safely and comfortably in a natural, upright position. It features innovative forearm support cuffs that support your weight with your arms and shoulders, keeping you standing in a natural way. It is height-adjustable for users up to 6 feet tall. No more leaning forward, stretching, slouching or crouching-no worrying about toppling over or losing your balance. Best of all, when you are walking, you are looking forward, not down. Look forward to going more places more often! Perfect Walker II folds up for transit or storage with a dual-folding design, making it compact…

INDESTRUCTIBLE In her November 14 devotion from Daily Guideposts 2018, Elizabeth Sherrill wrote about the rebuilding of 150-year-old Grace Episcopal Church in the Bronx, New York, after a fire. The church’s priest, Father Miles, told Elizabeth that although they had lost a building, they still had what mattered: the congregation. I knew I had to share the story with my friend Barb. Our church, Broadway United Methodist Church, had suffered a major fire in late 2017. The kitchen and fellowship hall, where Barb’s family has hosted a community Thanksgiving dinner for 25 years, were still under repair last fall. We cooked the holiday dinner in other kitchens and brought the food to Broadway UMC. Barb spoke to us volunteers before the diners arrived. “To quote Father Miles in Daily Guideposts:…

I must be going crazy. For several days, I’d been hearing a voice. And not just any voice. Actor Kevin Costner’s voice. It was one phrase in particular, a line from his movie Field of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. I’d enjoyed the movie when it came out, but I hadn’t seen or thought about it in years. Why did that line keep running through my head? I didn’t have time for this! I was busy helping my 17-year-old daughter, Willow, prepare for the Miss New York Teen Pageant. She’d been trying for the crown since she was 13. Her pageant director, Mr. Gillespie, had been confident about her chances this time. “It’s your year, Willow,” he told her with a grandfatherly wink. “I can feel it—this…

Building a strong support network is one of the most important steps caregivers and individuals living with Alzheimer’s or dementia can take following a diagnosis. Support groups—whether in person, online or over the phone—can provide education, emotional support and valuable connections to others who are facing similar experiences and challenges. The Alzheimer’s Association offers nearly 2,500 support group meetings nationwide each month to help individuals and family caregivers affected by the disease. Groups are facilitated by individuals who have received training from the Alzheimer’s Association. “Connecting with other caregivers can help you find the information, resources and emotional support needed to help stay physically and emotionally strong, so you can take care of yourself while you provide care to others,” says Ruth Drew, director of information and support services for…

A POP OF BEAUTY I’m not a beach person. I don’t like sand. Or jellyfish. Or sunburn. So don’t ask me why I decided to leave my mountain home for a beach vacation. Maybe I was trying to get away from all the responsibilities piling up at home. Bills, work, repairs. It was never-ending. I longed for the carefree life I’d had as a child. But climbing a boardwalk over the dunes alone, the predawn sky still dark overhead, I didn’t feel any more carefree than I had at home. I tried to focus on the feeling of cool sand between my bare toes. The scent of the briny air. The cry of seagulls. Nothing worked. God, I’m not sure what I came here looking for, but please help me…

“I’m always daydreaming. You have to see yourself there first. Then reverse engineer your dream.” MICHAEL B. JORDAN, actor “‘Be a Blessing.’ Three simple words, but what a profound impact we experience when we act on them.” author DEBBIE MACOMBER on the title of her recent book on prayer journaling “The bad news: Time flies. The good news: You’re the pilot.” MARK LACHS, author of Treat Me, Not My Age “Let God’s light shine not only in your words but by your deeds.” submitted by Guideposts reader IRENE KAUFMANN, of Queen Anne, Maryland KAVEH AKBAR, poet “One day or day one. You decide.” PAULO COELHO, author “I am better off healed than I ever was unbroken.” BETH MOORE, author “Gratitude is like a food group. It is essential for being alive.” actor HENRY WINKLER “Sometimes when you’re…

Eight police officers sat across from me in a fluorescent-lit conference room. They looked exhausted, shell-shocked. Beside me sat a fellow member of the Southwest Ohio Critical Incident Stress Management Team. We’re a group of police officers, firefighters, paramedics chaplains and mental health professionals who help first responders deal with trauma. It was four in the morning, August 4, 2019. We were in the headquarters of the Dayton, Ohio, Police Department. Hours earlier, these officers had been on routine patrol in Dayton’s popular and crowded Oregon District. A lone gunman wearing body armor and carrying a high-powered rifle waded into the crowd and shot 26 people in 32 seconds. The officers reacted quickly, shooting and killing the gunman less than a minute after his rampage started. Even so, nine victims…

Milwaukee, Wisconsin I PRAY THROUGH THE BOOK OF PSALMS every month, reading a few psalms each day, a practice I’ve kept since well before becoming a pastor. Now that I’m retired and taking care of my wife, Candy, who has Alzheimer’s, almost every day there’s a verse or two that speaks to what we’re dealing with. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; I have a goodly heritage.… You show me the path of life. In your presence, there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:6, 11) Candy loves to tell people the story of how we met. She was a student at a small Minnesota college. I transferred there in my junior year. I showed up in the cafeteria for…

Navigating the passage to adulthood with health and sobriety can feel like a challenge for teens and their families. Many people assume alcohol and drugs are a harmless, or at least universal, rite of passage. In fact, research shows that alcohol and drugs can seriously damage young people’s brains. Chemicals in alcohol and drugs alter brain development and increase the likelihood of developing a substance use disorder. People who start drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop a substance use disorder. Teens often assume everyone in their peer group or school uses drugs or alcohol. Research shows the opposite. Fewer than 30 percent of all American teens report drinking alcohol even once a month. Substance use seems widespread because it gets a lot of attention in…

“ARE WE GOING TO LOSE THE HOUSE?” I asked my husband, Craig, as we stood in our yard one Saturday last July, watching our four children play. I gazed up at the rambling three-dormered Cape Cod we’d scrimped and saved for. The rotting woodwork, the failing roof, the stack of bills on the kitchen table inside—all were reminders of how we were foundering as partners and as parents. “It isn’t my fault,” Craig said. “I warned you about taking this new job that pays only in commissions,” I said, “but you didn’t listen.” “If you hadn’t quit your job two years ago—” he said. I cut him off. “Who else was going to take care of the kids and keep this family running?” Working full-time on top of that and…

Before i head to a turkey dinner with my family, I take time to enjoy one of my favorite celebrations—the Thanksgiving service sponsored by the local Interfaith Council. The location varies from year to year as churches take turns hosting the gathering. Participants vary, but the diversity of the group remains constant in my city, which is home to many refugees and new Americans. Last Thanksgiving, we gathered in the Unitarian Church. Some participants wore yarmulkes; others, headscarves or embroidered stoles. Clergy of several Protestant denominations read from the Bible. The cantor from the Jewish temple sang songs in Hebrew, then led us in songs from the hymnals. A woman of the Baha’i faith read a poem, and half a dozen teenage girls wearing colorful silks—and giggling with nerves—recited verses…

“My mother actually knew my husband before she knew me!” says Barbranda Lumpkins Walls (Something to Be Thankful For, page 16). Barbranda’s husband, Hal, grew up a mile away from her maternal grandparents. He was even best friends with her cousin Sam. “When I moved from Ohio to the D.C. area, Sam insisted I connect with Hal. My mom was thrilled when we got together.” Barbranda and Hal have now been married 22 years. Barbranda says she’s modeled her marriage after her parents’, which was based on mutual love and respect. “They didn’t give me any specific marriage advice, but I knew from them what a good, stable one looked like,” Barbranda says. Eighteen years after Star Trek: Voyager, exited the TV universe, Kate Mulgrew (I’ll Be There, page 34),…