Table of contents for May 1, 2023 in Globe

GOING TO WASTE Tubby former kid star EDWARD FURLONG terminates some trash in West Hollywood ONE SHARP DRESSER Funnyman JACK BLACK, who voices the spiky demon Bowser in The Super Mario Bros. Movie, comes out of his shell! ZONED OUT The Sopranos’ EDIE FALCO applauds at a New York Knicks game — but looks like the buzzer’s gone off for her attention span! HEAVY HART Mammoth MELISSA JOAN HART, former star of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, needs a magical fix for her weight THE GAUNT FATHER Skinny CHAZZ PALMINTERI, writer and star of mob movie A Bronx Tale, appears dead on his feet in West Hollywood SEAS THE DAY Real Housewives of New Jersey’s TERESA GIUDICE checks her skimpy suit — but the reality TV loudmouth is just beachy in…

TRYING to quash persistent buzz his marriage is on the rocks, Monaco’s Prince Albert declares his runaway wife, Princess Charlene, is “excited and happy” — only he wasn’t talking about their relationship! The 65-year-old skirt chaser was talking about a palace restoration project, saying Charlene, 45, “shares the joy” of the eight-year job. But as GLOBE reported two weeks ago, following an article in a French magazine that said the marriage was kaput, Charlene was spotted out and about in Milan without her wedding ring and later skipped a major appearance, forcing Albert to take sister Caroline as his companion. Meanwhile, palace PR spinners flew into a tizzy, putting out a denial that the couple were in trouble. Now Albert’s at it again, insisting Charlene’s excitement over renovations shows “her desire…

FORMER first daughter Malia Obama’s Hollywood writing career has triggered bitter backlash from resentful friends, who believe she got her gig due to her family name and are giving her the mean girls snub, tipsters tattle. The 24-year-old Harvard grad and daughter of former President Barack Obama and wife Michelle “has to pick her friends carefully, and even the ones she thought to be her friends are turning out to be two-faced,” snitches an insider. “They say one thing to her face and something nasty behind her back. There are sycophants and mean-spirited people everywhere and she’s having to walk on eggshells every time she goes out. Even some of the friends she knew from school have it in for her.” Nepo baby Malia snagged a cushy writing spot for…

Twins! Oscar winner HILARY SWANK, 48, and hubby PHILIP SCHNEIDER welcomed a boy and a girl. Shameless star EMMY ROSSUM, 36, and her husband, Mr. Robot creator SAM ESMAIL, 45, joined the two under two club — welcoming their second baby, a boy — without a whisper the actress had been pregnant! Their new addition joins 22-month-old SAMANTHA. The Great star ELLE FANNING, 25, and her beau of six years, The Handmaid’s Tale actor MAX MINGHELLA, 37, called it quits. A former teacher at KANYE WEST’s Donda Academy is alleging Black history books were banned from the private school, and hungry students were fed only sushi! She’s suing for racial discrimination and wrongful termination. Younger star LAURA BENANTI, 43, suffered a miscarriage while performing for 2,000 people aboard The Broadway…

BATTLING Priscilla Presley and actress granddaughter Riley Keough made peace over a meal and aren’t feuding, according to a family member, who notes the gals will continue their bitter legal battle over Elvis’ $700 million fortune. Elvis’ only wife and mother of his late daughter, Lisa Marie, and granddaughter Riley, 33, are locked in a fight over Lisa Marie’s will. The document, which Priscilla believes is forged, gives Riley control of her mother’s estate and Elvis’ legacy. Priscilla, 77, reportedly buried the hatchet with Riley during a Beverly Hills dinner with her son, Navarone Garibaldi, 36, whose father is former lover Marco Garibaldi. “Yes they are fine,” he insists. “No feud. We did go to dinner. It went great, it’s all good.” Days later in London, fan Jackie Howse says Priscilla…

MÖTLEY CRÜE lead guitarist and cofounder Mick Mars, 71, is shooting Looks That Kill at his longtime bandmates — he’s suing them for slashing his share of profits! In court papers, the heavy metal musician claims the group stiffed him after a painful arthritic condition kept him from touring — even though he says he’s still spry enough for limited engagements. Mars also accuses bassist Nikki Sixx of “gaslighting” him, and snipes Nikki’s licks on a recent tour were all prerecorded!…

CONFRONTED by damning evidence from the sauce-splattered crime scene, cops say a Florida man admitted to them he assaulted his girlfriend — with a slice of pizza! Ortelio Alfonso, 39, was arrested on a misdemeanor battery count after his baby mama told officers he “grabbed a slice of pizza and slapped her in the left side of her face with it” during a spat over how to discipline their son. One cop noted the woman had “remnants of pizza in her hair and ear area,” adding, “I observed there to be pizza sauce on the walls and the ceiling of the kitchen area, which further corroborated the victim’s statement.” Alfonso, a landscaper from Ocala, was booked into the county jail and later released.…

ACTORS Shantel VanSanten and Victor Webster were so crazy about each other, they tied the knot three times — but now he wants a divorce less than two years later. Webster, 50, filed papers saying he and the 37-year-old One Tree Hill beauty separated Jan. 10 but did not state a reason or even cite “irreconcilable differences.” The then-lovebirds said “I do” in 2021 at the Pasadena courthouse on her grandparents’ anniversary, then in Napa, Calif., and also in her Luverne, Minn., hometown.…

BEAUTY Brooke Shields refused to have sex with pretty boy John F. Kennedy Jr. on their first and only date — after the slain president’s son repeatedly told the Blue Lagoon babe she looked like his mom, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis! The model and movie star, now 57, reveals she had a longtime crush on John, who gave her the “best kiss” she’s ever had during a ski trip to Aspen. But Brooke admits being weirded out by the late ladies’ man likening her to the former first lady! The dishy brunette also bashed her coldhearted suitor — who fatally crashed a plane he was piloting in 1999 — as “less than chivalrous” for failing to get her a cab after she declined to bed him — and icily ignoring her…

FLORIDA bully boy and wannabe president Ron DeSantis just got his butt kicked by a mouse — Mickey Mouse — on a cheesy war over free speech and political payback! It all started when liberal Disney execs got the tough-guy governor’s panties in a twist by publicly opposing his right-wing “Don’t Say Gay” law banning even discussions about homosexuality and transgender issues in the Sunshine State’s public schools. DeSantis struck back by ramming through state legislation giving the governor control of the self-governing Reedy Creek Improvement District created more than 70 years ago so the Mouse House could build and manage the Disney theme parks without a lot of government red tape. Eager to teach the libs a lesson — and perhaps boost his own political capital — the rugged…

TOP GUN Tom Cruise is on the hunt for an extra-curvy galpal who’s not obsessed with dieting like Tinseltown’s stick-thin starlets who burned him in the past, insiders tattle. The 60-year-old action hunk, who was married to Katie Holmes for six years, Nicole Kidman for 11 and Mimi Rogers for three, split from his last pin-thin galpal, Captain America beauty Hayley Atwell, in 2022. Now he’s looking for a zaftig English rose, snitches a source. “Tom’s convinced his issues are all because he’s picked the wrong type of woman,” blabs an insider. “Next time around, he wants a real woman, not a Hollywood stick who has no soul and doesn’t eat.” The Scientology poster boy has made London his full-time home since 2020 and “he’s got a very different outlook…

TRAGIC former kid star Amanda Bynes was still in the loony bin weeks after she called authorities on herself while wandering completely nude on an L.A. street. A source says the confused actress, who starred as a teen on Nickelodeon’s The Amanda Show and later in Easy A, wasn’t “forced to stay” beyond the three-day hold, but remained because she didn’t feel “ready to leave.” Previously diagnosed as “bipolar,” Amanda, 37, will return on an outpatient basis after she checks out, says a source.…

THE 1980 horror film The Shining was a horror to shoot! In the most famous scene, JACK NICHOLSON’s character — a blocked writer who slowly goes off his rocker at a snowbound haunted hotel — chops down a door with an ax while announcing “Her-r-r-r-e’s Johnny!” as he tries to kill his wife, played by SHELLEY DUVALL. Director STANLEY KUBRICK took three days to film that one scene, forcing Nicholson to do take after take — and making the set crew rebuild the damaged door each time!…

OOPS! Massachusetts mom Jessica Nunes got a $3,922 bill for ten child-size dirt bikes, ten pairs of size seven cowboy boots and a battery-powered kids’ ride-in Jeep after letting five-year-old daughter Lila play with her phone. Fortunately, mom canceled most of the order before delivery. AMERICA’S fourth commander-in-chief, James Madison, is the shortest president in U.S. history standing a mere 5-foot-4. Abe Lincoln is the tallest at 6-foot-4. SUPERHEATED kernels of corn can fly three feet in the air when they pop! People have eaten the snack for 5,000 years — but the first microwave packages were introduced by Pillsbury in 1982. AMAZINGLY, Seinfeld’s pilot episode didn’t feature the key character Elaine, played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who ultimately beat Rosie O’Donnell, Megan Mullally and Patricia Heaton for the role.…

COUNTRY wildcat Tanya Tucker raised hell with booze for decades, but insiders say the 64-year-old Texas Tornado’s kicked the bottle over fears for her health — and her life! The brassy Delta Dawn singer is currently wailing tunes around the country ahead of the June 2 release of her new album, Sweet Western Sound, and looking terrific, but an insider snitches she swore off hooch after “some health setbacks this year that scared her straight and got her hell-bent on staying alive.” Tanya is so revved up about her new album and getting on the road again, she kicked all her unhealthy habits, not just booze, says the source. “She’s touring and had to toss the bottle to be able to stay on her feet. She never felt so good.…

SPOILED hothead Prince Harry quit the royal family over cold cash — flying into a fury when his father, Charles, refused to finance a lavish lifestyle for his snooty wife, Meghan, and nixed putting the B-list actress on the royal payroll, palace insiders dish! Sources tell GLOBE money is the root of the ferocious feud that sent the Duke and Duchess of Sussex fleeing to America in a snit while deliberately humiliating the royals in tell-all interviews as Charles kept denying their demands for cash. “This royal rift is all down to cold hard cash!” a high-level courtier spills. “Prince Harry was crazy in love and desperate to keep his wife happy, but his dad wouldn’t foot the bill. “Harry hit the roof and now it’s the Windsors at war!”…

OBNOXIOUS CORDEN CALLED OUT AGAIN Condescending JAMES CORDEN’s getting dragged for diva behavior anew — this time by a seasoned TV director, who unabashedly brands the Brit-born comedian, 44, the “most difficult and obnoxious presenter” he’s ever worked with! And that’s saying something, since the dude’s been in showbiz for ages! CRAIG DUNCAN claims “grumpy” Corden, who hosted British game show A League of Their Own from 2010 to 2019, berated and cursed staff, and dishes he was even warned about the funnyman’s nasty streak before joining the show. Duncan claims execs asked him, “‘How are you at working with difficult presenters?’ I say, ‘Oh right, OK. Well, I’ve filmed the Three Tenors before, and you can’t get more of a prima donna than an opera singer.’” Boy, was he…

A STITCH in time wasn’t enough to save the life of a 32-year-old dad! Texas mom Liliana Cervantes, 25, stands accused of fatally stabbing her fiancé, Nathan Freeman — and then trying to sew up his terrible wounds! Liliana told cops she doesn’t remember stabbing Freeman three times — and must have blacked out. However, court documents says she does remember “trying to stitch” her baby daddy up and “calling 911.” Paramedics pronounced Freeman dead at the scene. Cops say they found a butcher knife and another sharp object in the couple’s Houston apartment. Liliana’s four-year-old from a previous beau and the couple’s six-month-old daughter were both in the home during the bloodbath. Liliana is now behind bars with bail set at $150,000 — and her charges come as a shock…

BRATTY Britney Spears is hunkered down with lawyers and plotting an exit from her reeling marriage that won’t cost her a huge chunk of her $60 million fortune, sources say. The frazzled 41-year-old pop tart is tiring of controlling hubby Sam Asghari, 29, following a soul-searching vacation apart from him where the mom of two ditched her wedding ring and frolicked with other men, sources snitch. “Britney has come back from this trip saying it was bliss to be away from Sam and left to her own devices,” dishes an insider. “It’s no secret they’ve been arguing a lot and desperately needed this break. “Britney seems to have found it liberating not to have Sam breathing down her neck — and it’s something she could see herself getting used to!”…

SEX-CRAZED Christina Aguilera is mapping new “pleasure points” she can tap for the Big O that she never knew existed! “I’ve gotten to know my vagina well over the last 42 years and literally, there are pleasure points that keep opening up as you get older,” insists the Dirrty doll, who is launching her own line of sex products. “There’s four different places that I can orgasm from around my vagina — and that is the truth!”…

SCHEMING Queen Camilla has triggered more bad blood between rival divas Bette Midler and Barbra Streisand by asking The Divine Miss M to sing at King Charles’ coronation while specifically refusing to invite the Funny Girl! The royal snub is all due to 75-year-old Camilla’s ferocious jealousy — since Charles, 74, confessed crushing for a long time on Babs, 81. Now, Camilla’s thrown fuel on the fire between Barbra and Bette, 77, who reportedly began feuding while discussing Zionism at a 1978 party in Beverly Hills — and word is the argument got physical! “There’s no love lost between Bette and Barbra,” spills a source close to the superstars. “They’ve been bad-mouthing and yanking each other’s chains for as long as anyone can remember. “Now Bette’s won herself an invite to…

FUMING country crooner TRAVIS TRITT, 60, is joining a wild wave of celebrities, including right-winger KID ROCK, protesting transgender social media superstar DYLAN MULVANEY being hired to promote big brands like Bud Light, Nike and Kate Spade. Dylan, a 26-year-old influencer with a massive following, identifies as a woman and is currently on hormones to help her transition, while documenting her change “into girlhood.” But not all are accepting of her journey, like Kid Rock, who shockingly took out several cases of Bud Light featuring Dylan’s face with an assault rifle, and now ticked-off Travis. “I will be deleting all Anheuser-Busch products from my tour hospitality rider,” tweets Tritt, adding whiskey drinkers should also “take note” of Jack Daniel’s, which teamed up with RuPAUL’s Drag Race for a pride campaign.…

JADED Jennifer Lopez poured it on as she announced her new alcohol brand — but furious fans are calling the move a money grab because the 53-year-old teetotaler doesn’t touch the stuff! Jaws dropped over the Let’s Get Loud loser hawking the lush life after boasting for years she rarely drinks. And some say it’s an especially stupid stunt since Jennifer watches former hooch-hound hubby Ben Affleck like a hawk to make sure he stays dry after years of struggling with spirits and going in and out of rehab! “I have been grinding nonstop for decades, and more and more I’m realizing the importance of enjoying life,” J.Lo purrs in an Instagram video unveiling Delola, her line of ready-to-drink cocktail spritzes. “I just wanted to create something better — something…

FORMER soap hunk Anthony Geary is being lured back to General Hospital, but insiders say his old TV flame Genie Francis wishes his character would stay dead — and so do other cast members! Geary, 75, quit the hit soap in 2015 and the storyline had his character Luke Spencer leaving town. But after coming back for a guest-star gig in 2017, Luke died in a mysterious cable car accident in Austria. Now insiders tattle bigwigs want to bring him back from the dead for the soap’s 60th anniversary — but Genie, who played his former lover and wife Laura, has cold feet. “Word is Anthony’s considering a return, and bosses are brainstorming a possible Luke’s alive! storyline. Fans — who never believed he died — want it, too!” tattles…