Table of contents for Dec-07-15 in Globe

HAIR SCARE! It’s been weeks since Halloween, but “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star KIM FIELDS forgot to take off her fright wig! Oops! JABBA’S TWIN Veteran actress ANGELICA HUSTON and “Star Wars” actor JABBA THE HUT are running neck and neck for the most wrinkles! SKIN AND BONES! Cave-chested LIAM NEESON won’t get any dollar bills in his briefs with that skinny bod! Eat up, Liam! OLIVE OYL Looking like Popeye’s skinny gal pal, HEIDI KLUM heads to a fancy Berlin event. Hope she gets a hearty German meal! RUNNING WILD Is AL PACINO fleeing the scene of a crime? Nah, he’s just late for his play “China Doll” on Broadway! Hurry Al, this show CAN’T go on without you! GET HIS GOAT! Wacky weatherman AL ROKER leads “Today” host…

AS HOLLYWOOD bad boy Charlie Sheen confessed he has the virus that can lead to AIDS, shocking secrets about his drug and sex-fueled world exploded — revealing the actor bedded men as well as women! Now the former “Two and a Half Men” star, once the highest-paid actor on TV, is facing a bitter backlash from fans and potential big-bucks lawsuits from former lovers. “Charlie admits he’s spent more than $10 million in payoffs over the last four years, desperately trying to cover up his HIV diagnosis,” says a source. “But he never stopped sleeping with hookers, strippers and porn stars. Some of his partners now claim he never told them about his deadly diagnosis!” Amazingly, many of his bedmates have been guys! Sheen and his third wife, Brooke Mueller,…

LIAM’S THE BUTT OF KATE’S JOKE! What the heck is wrong with KATE WINSLET? The actress, who’s starring in the new flick “The Dressmaker,” says that a sexy scene where hunky LIAM HEMSWORTH had to strip for her and co-star JUDY DAVIS reduced them to giggles! Poor Liam “was quite nervous about endlessly taking his clothes off for a whole day,” says Kate. “And Judy and I found it hilariously funny, so we just kept laughing.” MICHAEL FLATLEY LORD OF THE PANTS The ladies are still wild for fancy-footed “Riverdance” stud MICHAEL FLATLEY. Even though the Irish hoofer only appears during the last 10 minutes of his Broadway show “Lord of the Dance: Dangerous Games,” some female fans went “absolutely berserk” when the 1990s sensation hit the stage. “One lady…

WORST PRESIDENT EVER WON’T FIGHT TERRORISTS PRESIDENT Barack Obama must resign or be impeached for his outrageous bungling of the ISIS terrorist crisis! By down-playing the horrific threat the evil killers pose, Obama has put Americans and the nation itself in harm’s way, experts declare. Obama’s incredibly “arrogant” handling of the situation peaked when — the day before 129 people were slaughtered in a series of coordinated terrorist attacks in Paris — the President announced ISIS was “contained.” And two weeks before making his “dumb” announcement, 224 people were killed when an ISIS bomb destroyed a Russian airliner. The chorus of critics crying for his ouster includes national columnist Debbie Schlussel, who tells GLOBE: “Obama must go now! “He is handing over this country and the rest of the world…

GLOBE’S NO-NONSENSE OPINION PAGE GLOBE columnist Jeff Rodack tells it like it is about celebrities — how they get under his skin with their stupid antics and the nonsense they try to put over on the public. Here is his unique take on Hollywood newsmakers and fakers. IT’S the time of year where you stop and give thanks. And as GLOBE’s Straight Talk columnist, I’ve had a lot to be thankful for this year. Let me start by giving thanks to Kris Jenner for giving birth to talentless, clueless morons, who could fill up my column every week with their selfish acts of stupidity. And a very special bonus ‘Thank You’ to Kris for marrying Bruce Jenner or Caitlyn Jenner or whatever the hell his/her name is. I could regularly…

REBECCA GAYHEART RAN OVER A BOY! “ VANISHED ” beauty Rebecca Gayheart, 44, avoided jail time for a June 2014 incident that left a 9-year-old boy dead after she hit him with her car. The actress, who was facing up to a year in Los Angeles County Jail, pleaded no contest to misdemeanor vehicular manslaughter. In exchange for her plea, she was sentenced to three years’ probation, a one-year suspension of her license, a $2,800 fine and 750 hours of community service. MATTHEW BRODERICK $175 FOR TWO DEATHS WHILE driving a rented BMW in Ireland in 1987 with then-secret girlfriend Jennifer Grey, his costar in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” Matthew Broderick crossed into the wrong lane and collided head-on with a Volvo driven by Anna Gallagher, 28, traveling with her…

WOMEN SEEKING MEN USA 015-823 SBF. We do not have to be alone. Me: 135 lbs, early 70s, retired, homeowner, love to cook. You: retired, love country life. Friends first. Will respond to phone number only. No inmates. Must be young at heart. Must love movies. GA. 015-827 SWFC, Christian, 66, looking for a Christian companionship, non-smoker or drinker. Can’t relocate. Man 65-80 ok. Fun and eating out. Travel maybe. ME. 015-828 WWF enjoys beach, music, dining out. Enjoys simple things in life. ISO a caring, honest, Black gentleman, 60 plus with a good personality. Will answer all. PA. 015-829 SWF, 65, seeks farmer for relationship. Radcliffe College graduate. I am 5’5” and a bit overweight. WA. 015-832 Little on the plus size, healthy, WWF, 65, retired with income. Writes…

A GUTSY sailor who survived a vicious storm and endured 14 months adrift in the Pacific Ocean has finally told his stunning story in a new book — and it sounds like a real-life version of Tom Hanks movie “Cast Away”! Veteran fisherman Salvador Alvarenga set sail from a Mexican island in a small boat with a 22-year-old assistant on Nov. 17, 2012, planning on a two-day trip. But 50 miles from shore, Salvador’s 25-foot boat was pounded by a massive storm. Salvador, 36 at the time, and his novice crewmate, Ezequiel Córdoba, bailed furiously and tried to steer homeward through towering waves. But with the shore in sight, the engine went dead and so did his two-way radio! Salvador realized their catch was dragging the boat down, so the…

PRINCE Charles and Diana’s secret daughter, Sarah, broke her silence with GLOBE columnist Jeffrey Rodack at a secret location in the southeast United States after he made a public appeal for a person-to-person chat in his July 27 Straight Talk Column. At Sarah’s request, the time and place of the meeting — and her method of contact — is being kept confidential since she fears for her life. She was accompanied “by a bodyguard” during the World Exclusive interview, which lasted 37 minutes — and is sure to shake Buckingham Palace to its foundation. PRINCESS Diana’s secret daughter claims she has proof Prince Charles murdered her mother — and is trying to kill HER, too! But the young woman, who goes by the name Sarah, decided to step forward to…

HOLLYWOOD insiders fear Ellen deGeneres is heading for a $200 million divorce! The gay talk show queen, 57, is furious her blonde bombshell wife Portia de Rossi — they married in 2008 — is acting like a single woman, flirting with younger beauties in public and sending out a message that “she’s got the seven-year itch,” a source reveals. Ellen “hit the roof,” insiders say, after Portia, 42, was pictured looking cozy with Tinseltown cuties Bellamy young, darby Stanchfield and Katie lowes at a Nov. 14 Beverly Hills bash promoting ABC’s Thursday night TV lineup. “Ellen blew her stack when she saw photographs of Portia getting closer-than-this with two stunning women — Bellamy and darby — in particular,” says a source. “They were dressed to the nines and looked absolutely…

TV’s Mr. Nasty SIMON COWELL is finally admitting he’s an S.O.B. for knocking up his best bud’s wife! Even though he’s now shacked up with baby mama LAUREN SILVERMAN, the former “American Idol” judge confesses, “I’m not proud of the circumstances. I can’t hold my head up about it.” Simon’s affair with realestate mogul pal ANDREW SILVERMAN’s bride is said to have started in 2011, but all hell broke loose years later when an assistant interrupted a meeting to to tell him his “girlfriend” needed to speak to him. Cowell says she told him he was going to be a dad, which shocked him to the core. “This was not something I planned,” says Simon. “But I remember going to the first (prenatal) scan with Lauren. I called him Tad…

SHE’s starring as FBI agent Alex Parrish in ABC’s “Quantico,” one of this season’s hottest shows, and is also new to most American eyes. the stunning 33-year-old former beauty queen is a global superstar and a seasoned world traveler with ties to the u.s.A. Here are 10 things you don’t know about Priyanka Chopra. 1. Her parents were doctors with the Indian Army, and Priyanka grew up all over the Indian subcontinent. 2. After moving at age 13, she attended high school in Newton, Mass., where she was a huge fan of R&B and hip-hop. “I wore black to school for 10 days after Tupac Shakur died,” she says. 3. She was a gawky teen, deeply self-conscious about her “ugly” legs — but, “Today, my legs sell 12 (worldwide) brands.”…

4/10 ELIZABETH BANKS “May the odds be ever in your favor!” The “Hunger Games” actress isn’t winning with this tacky multi-colored dress! 9/10 HILARY SWANK “The Next Karate Kid“ actress steals the show in her jaw dropping floor-length glitter gown! Well done! 1/10 ERYKAH BADU If I were a kid, I’d run… fast! Erykah looks like she is on her way to scare youngsters at a clown convention. 3/10 OLIVIA WILDE A red, white, and blue disaster! I appreciate the patriotic attempt, but Olivia looks like she’s going to an ‘80s disco dance. 8/10 HEIDI KLUM Princess perfect! Heidi struts down the red carpet in a stunning ball gown and diamond necklace. 2/10 CONNIE STEVENS Velour overload! It looks like Connie’s frumpy style was inspired by her living room rugs.…

Medical news you can use! A STUNNING new genetic discovery may help you lose weight easily, without dieting! Scientists say a rare version of the BDNF gene, which regulates appetite and body weight, can be used to predict if someone will pack on the pounds. Says Tufts University School of Medicine professor Dr. Maribel Rios, “We know low levels of the BDNF protein in the brain lead to overeating and dramatic obesity.” So boosting levels of the protein may help people lose weight or stay slim. A researcher who worked on a National Institutes of Health study of the BDNF gene suggests the breakthrough will lead to “more personalized treatments” for clinically obese patients. However, it’s not going to happen overnight! Doctors warn that more research is needed before they…

Word Square: aced, acid, acted, added, addict, addicted, adit, aide, aided, caddie, caddied, cadet, cede, ceded, cedi, cited, dace, date, dated, dead, decade, deceit, decide, decided, dedicate, dedicated, deed, diced, died, diet, dieted, eddied, edict, edit, edited, iced, idea, ideate, ideated, teed, tide, tided, tied Who Am I: Liam Neeson Initials: Parks and Recreation; You are the Sunshine of my Life; Death on the Nile; God Bless America; Gorillas in the Mist. 20-Second Challenge: 67…

HOT-TO-TROT Meg Ryan is putting rocker ex-boyfriend John Mellencamp in her rearview mirror and making a beeline for old flame Russell Crowe — who’s been accused of wrecking her marriage to Dennis Quaid! “Meg wants to hook up with Russell again,” says a source close to the “Sleepless in Seattle” siren. “She’s carried a torch for him more than 10 years — even when she was with other men.” Crowe and married Meg, now 53, had a sizzling affair while filming of their 2000 movie “Proof of Life.” At the time, the blonde beauty had been married to Quaid for a decade. “Meg and Russell were absolutely nuts for one another,” says the source. “She saw him as her knight in shining armor, ready to rescue her from her disintegrating…

SIX-foot-5 bombshell Holly Burt’s legs are hot and then some — so many men just don’t measure up to the stunning Florida native! “Back in middle school, I was called ‘daddy longlegs,’ ‘tree’ or ‘giraffe’ — but the dating scene has gotten better since I moved to New York,” says the 20-year-old, whose stems measure a 49.5 inches. “I have a rule that I won’t date anyone under 6-foot-3 and, fortunately, New York is full of tall, hot men.” But tall, hot women like Holly are hard to find, no matter where you look! She’s reported to have the longest legs in America — her perfect pins edge out the previous record holder, Texas model Lauren Williams, by a mere half-inch! Holly isn’t short of attention, either. “I definitely have…

“Married with Children” star DAVID FAUSTINO and fiancée LINDSAY BRONSON welcomed their first child — a daughter named Ava! Congrats! “The Walking Dead” actress ALANNA MASTERSON and boyfriend Brick Stowell also had a daughter. JESSA DUGGAR and hubby BEN SEEWALD have revealed the name of their first son: SPURGEON ELLIOT SEEWALD. Former “Punky Brewster” child star SOLEIL MOON FRYE is pregnant with her fourth baby. DAVID HASSELHOFF announced he’s changed his name to DAVID HOFF — but insiders insist it’s a joke! On-again, off-again couple SHIA LABEOUF and MIA GOTH are on again! Meanwhile, Iron Chef CAT CORA and her wife, JENNIFER CORA, both filed for divorce — on the same day. It’s looking ugly! VINCENT “Don Vito” MARGERA, uncle of BAM MARGERA, who appeared in the “Jackass” movie has…

HE BETTER put a ring on it! That’s what NASCAR cutie Danica Patrick is telling friends about live-in boyfriend Ricky Stenhouse Jr. “I better be engaged by the end of the year or else!” the 33-year-old hottie recently told a pal. Divorced Danica has been dating fellow race car driver Ricky, 28, since 2012 and started playing house with him in 2013. But things have slowed down since then — and pals say Danica is not too happy about it. “She’s giving Ricky until the end of the year to ask for her hand in marriage or she’s going to end the relationship. It’s an ultimatum: Marry me or it’s over!” a friend reveals. Danica told a pal, “In a few months it will be three years since we started…

BRUNETTE beauty Jaimie Alexander believes she’s being poisoned by fake tattoos she wears for her hit NBC thriller “Blindspot!” After suffering a pulmonary infection and illnesses while shooting the drama, Jaimie is “convinced the ink is toxic and making her sick,” says a source. She could be right. The FDA has issued warnings that temporary tattoos labeled as “black henna” or “pre-mixed henna” could be dangerous. Jaimie, 31, plays a Jane Doe who wakes up naked in a duffel bag in Times Square, with no memory of who she is or how she got there. The only clues to her identity are hundreds of mysterious tattoos that cover almost every inch of her skin — and provide vital information on crimes. Engaged to actor Peter Facinelli, Jaimie spends up to…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 If it’s love you’re dreaming of, the Scorpio moon has someone for you — but you have to make the first move. A midweek party leads to a job offer, and a possible move! Don’t immediately say no — take time to think it over. Arguing over chores? It may be time to hire a service or a local teen to help. TAURUS April 21 - May 21 Tread softly around someone new while Mars and Uranus clash. You might think everything is peachy, but this person isn’t the friend you think. Be careful what secrets you reveal. A clothes shopping expedition prompts you to start a new diet. Ask a lean Libra for tips for pain-free weight loss! GEMINI May 22 - June…

TV ICON and “Dancing With the Stars” favorite Cloris Leachman was spotted out in a wheelchair at an L.A. charity event, sparking fears she’s facing her final days. The beloved 89-year-old actress, who co-starred on the “Mary Tyler Moore Show” and won America’s hearts with a brave 2008 performance on “Dancing,” needed a wheelchair when she attended the Last Chance for Animals fundraiser in Los Angeles. “I love Cloris,” says one insider. “I don’t know why she’s in a wheelchair, but I pray she’s okay. You just have to hope this isn’t the end for the wonderful lady.” Cloris underwent a grueling regimen when she appeared on “Dancing.” Friends warned her to slow down because of her advancing years. But Cloris wouldn’t hear of it. She loved competing on the…

DON’T MISS... “Telenovela” (Series Premiere) Mon., Dec. 7, NBC, 10 p.m. Eva Longoria plays Ana Sofia, the star of a popular Spanish-language soap. Too bad she doesn’t speak any Spanish. Ana must manage a new boss, jealous castmates and demanding friends — and then her ex-husband is hired as her new love interest! “The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” Tues., Dec. 8, CBS, 10 p.m. Ellie Goulding and Selena Gomez will perform as part of the runway spectacle starring Victoria’s Secret Angels and featuring the latest outrageous lingerie designs. “Project Runway Junior” Thurs., Dec. 10, Lifetime, 9 p.m. As the competition heats up for the teen designers, First Lady Michelle Obama presents a challenge in support of Let Girls Learn. “The 84th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade” Fri., Dec. 11, The CW,…

ROBIN Williams’ grieving children are bracing for a shocking blabbermouth book about their father — from his widow, say sources. And the livid kids have vowed to stop the tell-all project from being released! “There’s already very bad blood between the children and Susan,” says a source. “They just spent months in a bitter court battle over Robin’s $50 million estate that was finally settled last month. “However, Susan is claiming the kids forced her into the legal battle and is painting herself as the wronged widow. “The children are very upset. “Frankly, they wouldn’t be surprised if Susan isn’t already working on a book about Robin. But you can be sure they’ll do whatever they can to prevent it being published.” Zak, 32, Zelda, 26, and Cody, 24 —…