Table of contents for October 19, 2020 in Globe

WHAT THE FLOCK? Pink-haired Modern Family actress ARIEL WINTER perches on one foot — like a giant flamingo A SLICE OF LIFE Rocker JON BON JOVI grabs pizza on the go while shooting for Barstool Sports in the Big Apple JUST FOR KICKS Director RON TRUPPA and Cobra Kai actor MARTIN KOVE try out some moves at a California film festival MOTLEY FOOL That’s no Phantom of the Opera — it’s clownish rapper MACHINE GUN KELLY in an unflattering beauty mask SLOB STORY HELENA BONHAM CARTER is a royal wreck in London during a day off from shooting The Crown MAN HUNGRY! Boytoy chef EMILIO VITOLO JR. and love-hungry cutie KATIE HOLMES chow down in NYC…

CAKE Boss star Buddy Valastro is battling to save his confectionery career after a ghastly bowling accident mangled his hand! The famed bake-master got pinned in a home bowling-lane mechanism that began to chew through his right hand — until his two teenaged sons hacked through the metal rod and rescued him, according to Valastro’s rep! “There was a malfunction with the bowling pinsetter, a common fix in the past, but turned into a terrible accident,” the rep explains. “After trying to release the bowling pin from the cage mechanism, his right hand became lodged and compressed inside the unit. Unable to remove his hand, he can see a 1-1/2-inch metal rod slowly and repeatedly impale his hand three times between his ring finger and middle finger.” The rep says the reality…

WHO AM I? Answer the clues and place the initials to each answer into the appropriately numbered square to find our mystery celebrity. $100 PRIZE 8 Sci-fi drama starring Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway about a team of space explorers trying to ensure the survival of humanity 5 Firefly actor who plays a novelist-turned sleuth in crime series Castle, __ Fillion 10 & 3 This Casablanca star also played a gin-swilling riverboat captain alongside Katharine Hepburn in The African Queen 7 James Dean brought troubled teen Jim Stark to life in this classic coming-of-age tale, which was nominated for three Oscars, __ Without A Cause 11 & 2 Academy Award-winning actress who starred alongside her real-life father in the drama film Paper Moon 9 Mystery thriller starring Ben Affleck as…

SCANDAL-SCARRED Prince Andrew and renegade Prince Harry are hell-bent on destroying the monarchy, GLOBE has learned. Furious at being treated as second bananas, the spiteful princes are deliberately provoking problems to end royal rule — and ensure their hated brothers, Charles, 71, and William, 38, never become king, sources say. “Andrew and Harry’s shocking exploits have brought so much disgrace, shame and controversy to the family, it’s unlikely the monarchy can survive after Queen Elizabeth dies,” a high-level palace courtier reveals. “Public pressure is mounting every day for the royal family to be stripped of their titles and abolished! And the blame lies squarely with Harry and Andrew. “This would be a devastating end for an institution that has endured for centuries — and a personal heartbreak for Her Majesty,…

VINDICTIVE Madonna has former bedmates Sean Penn, Warren Beatty and Guy Ritchie sweating bullets over her upcoming tell-all flick, where she’ll get ugly revenge on anyone — and everyone — she thinks has done her wrong, spill insiders. “She’s got a dossier on everybody and doesn’t intend to hold back,” snitches an insider. The 62-year-old Desperately Seeking Susan actress is set to direct the revenge biopic she co-penned with Tully screenwriter Diablo Cody. She’ll leave no stone unturned about her rocky relationships with hubbies Penn and Ritchie and lovers like Beatty and Carlos Leon, spies say. “She’s getting a savage pleasure knowing her famous exes are getting nervous,” spills the tattler. “She’s going to expose who was the best and worst lovers, which could be good or bad news for Warren,”…

DIRTY Dancing heartthrob Patrick Swayze’s family is outraged his widow, Lisa Niemi DePrisco, is selling off his beloved ranch and other pieces of his legacy, sources claim. Lisa is currently negotiating a $13 million deal for the 7,200-acre New Mexico spread, where the Ghost star’s kin hopes his ashes were spread after his 2009 death from pancreatic cancer — even though a family insider claims his widow refused to reveal what she did with his final remains. Selling the ranch is “just another slap in the face to Patrick’s family,” the insider fumes. “Lisa told us she never spread his ashes on the ranch,” though that was the Red Dawn star’s dying request. The widow, who remarried in 2014, put the century-old former dude ranch up for sale in July,…

AFTER coming out as a bisexual in June, Riverdale hottie Lili Reinhart confesses she loves watching babes at strip clubs. In fact, the 24-year-old blonde, who plays Betty Cooper on The CW network’s mystery based on the Archie comics, says the clubs “are like Disneyland.” Lili, who recently split with actor Cole Sprouse, 28, got her taste for exotic dancing while co-starring with Jennifer Lopez in the 2019 flick Hustlers. She says her friends and castmates, who didn’t know she likes girls too, were probably mystified. “They were probably like, ‘Why does this girl like strip clubs so much?’ … Well, now you know!” she dishes.…

JOHN LENNON’S killer, Mark David Chapman, confesses he shot the former Beatle to see his name in headlines! “I assassinated him because he was very, very, very famous and that’s the only reason and I was very, very, very, very much seeking self-glory. Very selfish,” Chapman, 65, says in a recently released transcript of his August parole hearing. Chapman gunned down the Imagine singer outside his Manhattan apartment building on Dec. 8, 1980. Hours earlier, Lennon — who would have turned 80 on Oct. 9 — had signed his Double Fantasy album for the demented fan. “He was actually kind to me that day,” Chapman says. Looking back, Chapman describes his behavior as “creepy” and “despicable.” He also whines he’s haunted by the agony he inflicted on Lennon’s wife, Yoko…

AGONIZING rheumatoid arthritis may cause type 2 diabetes, researchers found in a groundbreaking study of more than 1.6 million patients! Scientists at Britain’s University of Manchester discovered people with the painful joint disease are 23 percent more likely to contract diabetes compared to the general population — and now believe the two conditions are linked. Rheumatoid arthritis is caused by the body’s destructive autoimmune response to an inflammatory condition. This results in painful swelling of the joints, especially in hands and feet. In severe cases, the condition is crippling leaving patients in agony and unable to move the stricken joints. Since inflammation is a key symptom of arthritis, the researchers now believe swelling may also be a major factor in triggering type 2 diabetes. “This finding supports the notion that…

AIN’T it amazing! Politically correct thought police went bananas over actress Candace Cameron Bure’s playful social media post showing her hubby jokingly grabbing her boob — but were silent on the sex and booze scandals surrounding holy roller Liberty University boss Jerry Falwell Jr., son of the late televangelist Rev. Jerry Falwell, considered a conservative icon. As GLOBE reported, Fuller House’s Candace was shamed by a bunch of supposedly religious prigs, who branded her photo “inappropriate” and pressured the actress to remove her post. Thankfully, Candace quickly realized she and Valeri, parents of three kids, had nothing to be ashamed of and restored the image. She also rightly called out the pretentious prunes for their dirty minds, writing that anyone who’s “questioning my post with my husband’s hand on my…

PAUL NEWMAN cemented his status as a Hollywood legend playing Cool Hand Luke, a Florida prison camp inmate who refuses to be broken. In this pivotal scene from the Oscar-winning 1967 flick, Luke takes on the prisoners’ burly leader, Dragline, played by George Kennedy, in a grudge boxing match and gets his butt kicked. But every time Dragline knocks him down, Luke crawls back to his feet — even as other cons urge him to “Stay down!” — until Dragline refuses to fight anymore. Amazingly, writer Donn Pearce thought Newman was “too cute” for the part!…

SEX siren Catherine Zeta-Jones has ordered her 76-year-old hubby, Michael Douglas, to go under the knife and get his sagging face tightened, sources snitch. Although the Wall Street star is no stranger to nips and tucks, an insider spills Douglas’ kisser has gotten pretty jowly and Catherine, 51, isn’t asking him to fix it, she’s telling him! “He’s had facelifts before but they’ve worn off and he looks terrible,” the insider says. “His jowls are loose, his cheeks look sunken and his earlobes are droopy, which all spell YUCK to Catherine. “She misses that silver fox she married 20 years ago. She loves him no matter what, of course, and would do anything for him. “But she prefers it when he’s all pulled together, especially if he expects her to…

PLAYBOY honcho Hugh Hefner supposedly lived the perfect bachelor life in a glitzy mansion pampered by a bevy of sexy “bunny” bedmates — but that swingin’ image covered a sleazy dark side of abuse, twisted rituals and stinking dog doo! In bombshell confessions, Hef’s former live-in harem members are breaking their silence to reveal the 22-bedroom Los Angeles manor was a foul pigsty — filled with stained mattresses — where the Playboy magazine founder’s dogs dumped poo on worn-out carpets and women were caged like prisoners, forced to perform weird bedroom rituals! Holly Madison says Hef, who died at 91 in 2017, had freaky fetishes, including dressing female companions in the same flannel pajamas he wore and pleasuring himself while watching the girls kiss each other! Amazingly, Holly describes sex…

DUMPED DORINDA’S FAIRY GODMOTHER! Speaking of ousted Housewives, recently dumped RHONY darling DORINDA MEDLEY, 55, won’t be fading into the Manhattan skyline — not with BETHENNY FRANKEL, 49, as her new fairy godmother! “I think she is a great person. I’m working on projects for her, you know I have a production company, so I think she’d be great for certain projects,” spills Bethenny, who clearly has the Midas touch. Using her Bravo popularity, the brash brunette branded herself brilliantly — launching Skinnygirl Cocktails, which sold in 2011 for an estimated $120 million, as well as profiting from a myriad of lucrative ventures. “Don’t let anyone or anything dull your sparkle,” she posted after Dorinda, who joined the show in 2015, was dropped like a sack of potatoes after six…

PAZ VEGA The star’s fashion-forward silhouette is a gamble — but she comes up a winner! GINA GERSHON The Showgirls star gets upstaged by the ridiculous ruffles atop her shoulders KRISTIN CHENOWETH Mum’s the word — the Broadway singing star brightens her look with a colorful floral frock VICTORIA BECKHAM The skinny former Spice Girl is nothing but bland — and could use some tailoring to boot! STASSIE KARANIKOLAOU This bombshell is a bust — Kylie Jenner’s BFF is bursting her buttons in a too tight minidress…

TRAGIC Naya Rivera’s ex-hubby, Ryan Dorsey, has moved into a three-bedroom rental with her 25-year-old model sister, Nickayla — and they plan to raise the drowned beauty’s five-year-old son, Josey, together, sources say. The 37-year-old dad, who’s appeared in TV’s Stumptown and Yellowstone, had a stormy four-year marriage to Naya before divorcing in 2018. The tyke was with his 33-year-old Glee actress mom when she drowned in California’s Lake Piru in July.…

JILTED jerk Stevens Millancastro was found guilty of spiking a California co-worker’s water with his semen after the gal spurned his advances! Millancastro, 30, was convicted of assault and battery for the sick stunt. Investigators say after the victim rejected the perv’s offer of a date in 2016, she complained to HR about him staring at her nonstop. She also grew alarmed after repeatedly finding a suspicious substance in her half-full water bottle. The woman’s boss agreed to set up a surveillance camera, and authorities say the footage revealed Millancastro smearing something on her keyboard — which prosecutors referred to as a “milky white substance.” Cops claim they also found the creep’s semen in her beverage bottle. The disgusting dummy faces up to 30 months behind bars.…

Testosterone is weight-loss wonder TESTOSTERONE shots proved to be an amazing weight-loss loss tool in older men. A study by Bayer and Gulf Medical University in the United Arab Emirates found men with low testosterone who were given shots on a weekly basis lost an average of 50 pounds. But guys in their sixties who didn’t get the hormone gained an average of 13 pounds! Researchers believe long-term hormone therapy could be a weight-loss alternative to diets and risky stomach-tying surgery. Vitamin E fights brain defects A CUTTING-EDGE study of zebrafish links a lack of vitamin E to horrific brain and nervous system defects in human embryos. Oregon State University researchers used zebrafish due to their similarity to humans at the genetic and cellular levels. “This is totally amazing —…