Table of contents for October 28, 2019 in Globe

DISGRACED sex perv Matt Lauer is making a goofy comeback of sorts by dancing and lip-synching tunes with teen daughter Romy on her TikTok social media videos. The 61-year-old former superstar anchor — who was booted from NBC’s Today show after being accused of sexually pestering co-workers and even having a button to lock gals inside his office — is seen grooving with Romy, 16, to Hot Shower by Chance the Rapper and Big Fun from Heathers: The Musical. Lauer, who’s been divorced by Annette Roque, 52, mom of Romy, Jack, 18, and Thijs, 12, has been lying low in his Hamptons estate, where sources say he’s scheming a big-time career move. But one viewer of the TikTok videos hasn’t forgotten his sexual antics, commenting: “Did the door behind you…

HUMILIATED Princess Beatrice has told her disgraced dad, Prince Andrew, that she doesn’t want him walking her down the aisle when she marries real estate tycoon Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi! And she even shouted that she doesn’t want him at her wedding! The 31-year-old princess reportedly dreamed of being given away by her father, but now fears his scandalous partying with late sex perv Jeffrey Epstein — and the claims that Randy Andy bedded an underage girl — will tar her nuptials next year. “In a heartbreaking phone call, she tearfully told Andrew she didn’t want him walking her down the aisle or at her wedding — PERIOD!” dishes a royal insider. “She was so thrilled when Edoardo proposed. Now she’s down in the dumps over the shame and backlash caused…

ROBERT De Niro is a raging bully and an abusive creep, says a former female staffer who’s suing the Goodfellas goon for being a chauvinistic pig! Ex-employee Graham Chase Robinson claims the Hollywood hothead called her a “spoiled brat” and terrorized her with vulgar voicemails — including one saying her job was “f**king history!” In her $12 million suit, Robinson says the Godfather legend subjected her to sexist behavior, unwanted touching and lewd jokes about his Viagra prescription! Her complaint calls the 76-year-old Raging Bull actor someone who “does not accept the idea that men should treat women as equals.” Robinson started working for De Niro’s Canal Productions in 2008 as an executive assistant and was eventually promoted to vice president of production and finance. But, she claims, she was…

THRILLED pop star Ricky Martin is gushing that he and Syria-born Swedish husband Jwan Yosef are having another baby! The gay 47-year-old Livin’ la Vida Loca singer crowed, “We are pregnant!” while accepting an award for his work for LGBTQ causes at a Washington human rights gala. Ricky and Jwan, an artist, wed last year and are already parents of 11-year-old twins Valentino and Matteo — whom Ricky fathered through a surrogate mother — and another surrogate-born baby, nine-month-old Lucia, whom the singer calls the “light of my eyes.” Ricky says the fourth baby is coming via surrogate, too, adding: “I love big families.”…

A THIEF couldn’t open the cash register at a Dunkin’ Donuts — so he grabbed some doughnuts instead! According to cops, the suspect walked into the New York City business just after 9:30 a.m., jumped over the counter and tried to open the register. When that failed, he “placed approximately five to six doughnuts inside of a paper bag,” according to a police report. The stolen goods could have a street value as high as $5.…

BULLYING Scientology bigwigs cut off anti-cult warrior Leah Remini from her father so completely that she had no idea he was deathly ill and had died until a month after his passing! Now the King of Queens actress, 49, who bolted in 2013 and unmasked the space-alien sect’s intimidation tactics on A&E’s series Leah Remini: Scientology and Its Aftermath, is seething — charging the church used her estranged dad, George, as “a pawn” against her. The church denies all Leah’s charges.…

THE HOTTEST place to be in Michigan on a recent Saturday night was the I-75 highway, where drivers were stunned to see a giant electronic billboard playing a steamy porn video — for 20 minutes! According to police, there were no problems with crashes or hands-free driving despite the dirty distraction! “I was just looking up at it and I was like, ‘Huh, oh, wow. That’s porn!’” said Chuck McMahon, who’d been tooling along in his car when the billboard — located on the I-75 and M-59 interchange near Auburn Hills — suddenly switched to sex. The erotic streaming aroused suspicions it was the work of a horny hacker! Hot-under-the-collar Police Lt. Ryan Gagnon agreed it was “obviously obscene and inappropriate,” and promised to drill deep into the matter.…

ACTOR Ashton Kutcher can turn murderous over petty, mind-dazing reality TV. Just ask his leading-lady wife, Mila Kunis. The 36-year-old Bad Moms beauty, who has two tots with the former Two and a Half Men hunk, says she’s a big fan of reality shows and once asked him how he felt about “later in, like, 20 years, 30 years, what do you think of me going on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — just for, like, a year. “He was, like … ‘I would kill you.’” Mila is so into RHOBH, she was awestruck when Mauricio Umansky and Kyle Richards sat behind her on a Southwest flight a few years ago. “I was, like, ‘Oh my God! It’s the people from this reality show!’ I was so excited.”…

MAMA JUNE has gone from broke to soaked — she unloaded her house at the bargain-basement price of less than HALF what the buyer is flipping it for! The train wreck reality star, 40, who faces a felony charge with her boyfriend for possession of crack cocaine, made a honey of a boo-boo by accepting $100,000 — far less than what she paid for the Hampton, Ga., home that neighbors have called an eyesore and that is now on the market for $225,000!…

FORMER Wayne’s World hottie Tia Carrere is looking like the Pillsbury Doughgirl — and alarmed friends and a medical expert fear she’s gobbling herself into a devastating health crisis! The 52-year-old actress and True Lies femme fatale drew gasps when she was spotted nearly busting out of a leather skirt and jacket in Hollywood on Oct. 2. “This is just sad. She’s bloated and barely recognizable,” spills a source. “Trouble is she can’t stop eating her favorite foods — spaghetti, steak and potatoes and cheesecake. “She’s gained 55 pounds at least since her ‘90s sex-symbol days. “She used to be gorgeous, fit and toned, but middle age has taken a toll on her looks. At this rate, she’s opening herself up to a heart attack!” Lifespan expert Dr. Gabe Mirkin…

Things are heating up for JOSH DUHAMEL, 46, and former Miss World America AUDRA MARI, 25, who were caught locking lips at a Toronto airport. His ex, singer FERGIE, filed for divorce in May after nearly two years of separation. It’s a surprise girl for RHOBH star TEDDI MELLENCAMP, 38, who’s expecting a third child. She’d admitted feeling guilty using IVF sex selection to have a boy last time. Welsh actor MICHAEL SHEEN, 50, and girlfriend ANNA LUNDBERG, 25, welcomed their first child together, a girl. He has a 20-year-old daughter, LILY, with ex-girlfriend KATE BECKINSALE. MICHELLE PFEIFFER, 61, slipped on a marble floor getting out of a hotel bathtub and broke her arm. Metallica canceled its upcoming tour of Australia and New Zealand due to band co-founder/frontman JAMES HETFIELD,…

TRUMP mimic Alec Baldwin may be a hotshot actor, but he’s not the canny New Yorker he makes himself out to be — he admits he got flimflammed by a phony Statue of Liberty tour guide, who instead sold him and his family tickets to New Jersey! The scammed star admitted on social media that he shelled out more than $200 for himself, wife Hilaria and three of their four kids that had nothing to do with a trip to Lady Liberty. “It’s a scam … I kid you not. We paid,” he rages. “Then we read the tickets. NO ONE EVER MENTIONED F***ING JERSEY!!!” Alec and his family ended up seeing the statue — for free — from the deck of the iconic Staten Island Ferry. “Take the SI…

BILLIE LOURD has returned to American Horror Story for its ninth season to play punk rocker Montana Duke — her fourth character on the successful FX series. The 27-year-old daughter of talent agent Bryan Lourd and late Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher kicked off her acting career only four years ago alongside her mom in 2015’s The Force Awakens and will also appear in The Rise of Skywalker later this year. Here are ten things you don’t know about Billie. 1 Her godparents are Oscar winner Meryl Streep and novelist Bruce Wagner. 2 She says her parents didn’t want her in showbiz and recalls, “My whole life, they said, ‘Do not act. You need to get a college degree.’” 3 She’s five-foot-one — the same height as her mother. 4…

AN OREGON deli worker’s meth-spiked bean dip was a recipe for trouble when she fed it to two unsuspecting co-workers! That’s the high and low of it from the Marion County Sheriff’s Office — which said they arrested Cassandra Medina-Hernandez, 38, and charged her with master minding the sneaky snack attack! According to an affidavit, Medina-Hernandez, in the deli section, removed something from her bra before emerging with a doctored dip that sent one colleague who tried it to the hospital. She treated herself to a taste as well. Medina-Hernandez — with an unappetizing history of convictions, including for assault and robbery — was charged with suspicion of delivery of methamphetamine and causing another person to ingest a controlled substance. She is being held on $50,000 bail.…

PERKY Paula Abdul is plastic fantastic — and loving it! The former American Idol judge reveals she found a clinic that does a procedure called Face Tight and Body Tight — and the songbird, 57, says she made a beeline to get a “sleeker jawline.” “What I loved about it is, it’s minimally invasive,” she gushes. There are “no noticeable scars. I was walking around two or three days later,” Paula told Wendy Williams on her talk show. Daytime diva Wendy — who’s admitted to having breast implants — immediately asked Paula what she’d gotten tightened. “Skin elasticity,” the Straight Up singer spills. “You know, it’s gravity. So I wanted a little sleeker jawline.” Then Paula — who’s prepping for the second leg of her Forever Your Girl residency in…

IT WAS a role that CHRISTOPHER REEVE and JOHN TRAVOLTA thought was too risky and turned down — and made a star of RICHARD GERE! Not only that, but 1980’s American Gigolo was also was the first time a major Hollywood actor was frontally nude in a scene! In the steamy crime drama, Gere plays a male escort, Julian Kaye, who gets caught up in a murder mystery in which he’s accused of killing one of his clients. According to Richard, the nudity was not in the original script: “It was just in the natural process of making the movie,” he says.…

A CAR salesman in Texas is suing his former boss — and the dealership they worked in — for intentionally farting in his office and pinching his nipples! Brett Bland says the work environment was “sexually hostile” as well as being smelly. A SCHOOL district in Delaware apologized after Roseanne Barr’s appalling 1990s rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner was played at the start of a volleyball game! In a letter to parents in Seaford, officials said they were investigating how the recording got into their sound system. THE family of a 102-year-old California woman, Isabel Albright, was charged a $160 early termination fee by her TV provider after she died! Fortunately, after a complaint was lodged, DirecTV waived the fee and sent a letter of apology. A FLORIDA man whose…

WACKY CARREY TURNS AUTHOR Dumb and Dumber comic JIM CARREY, 57, is notorious for long-winded, self-indulgent stand-up sets — such as a recent Comedy Store stream of consciousness fiasco where he threw chairs and blamed stunned fans for giving him cancer cells. So what can we expect from the wacky performer’s latest project, a novel called Memoirs and Misinformation? Described as a “fearless and semi-autobiographical deconstruction of persona” by his publisher, the star adds this headache-inducing semi-disclaimer: “None of this is real and all of it is true.” Stranger than fiction, right? THORNE DOES PORN! Former Disney star BELLA THORNE, 22, is delving deep into fantasyland — she has directed a steamy flick for a porn site! Starring adult industry notables, Her & Him is about an “edgy 20-something guy…

JENNY McCARTHY and Donnie Wahlberg are taking a can-do attitude toward their sex life — Jenny has admitted they’re “doing it in airport bathrooms!” Jenny is flush with good feelings for Donnie — but said the couple are resorting to lavatory love because they’re both super busy and don’t want their marriage of four years to go down the crapper! After making her porny potty proclivities public, Jenny did an oops — “Did I say that out loud?”…

THE ax that Jack Nicholson wielded in The Shining has sold for nearly $210,000 at a London auction! In a scene from the horror flick, Jack’s bonkers character, Jack Torrance, menaces his wife, Wendy, played by Shelley Duvall, with the weapon. When Wendy locks herself in a bathroom and refuses to come out, Jack starts chopping through the wooden door, yelling, “He-e-e-e-re’s Johnny!” The fire ax, which has a sinister looking 12-inch blade, is reportedly in excellent condition.…

ANINE-YEAR-OLD boy took a wrong turn during a 5K race in Minnesota and ended up winning a 10K — beating out a field of adults! Both races started at the same point, but Kade Lovell got a bum steer along the way. “I was just running,” says Kade. “As soon as I saw the 5K turn, a lady told me to keep going straight. So I kept going straight. I was a little confused.” Kade said he realized his mistake when he saw a sign for the 10K runners. “I thought, ‘Mom is going to yell at me,’” he recalls. His mother, meanwhile, was sick with worry when Kade didn’t pass by her as expected. “I had everyone looking for him, even a fireman,” says Heather Lovell of St. Cloud.…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 Wrap up paperwork and attend to financial matters early, because mischievous Mercury turns retrograde Thursday, slowing everything down! Midweek brings an unexpected adventure for Rams, and singles could meet someone with partner potential! A kindness you’d forgotten is repaid — and more — Saturday! GEMINI May 22 - June 21 If there’s someone you need to talk to, or something to get off your chest, do it early in the week, Twin. After Wednesday, communications will be muddied and your words could be twisted and misunderstood. Marrieds get an interesting invitation, but think twice before accepting. The number 7 brings luck. LEO July 23 - Aug. 23 A longtime plan finally comes to fruition under the Scorpion new moon, so why so glum, Leo?…