Table of contents for 24 December 2024 in Chat

Welcome to this week's Chat… Whether you're reading this on Christmas Eve, or the big day has been and gone already, the last thing you'll be thinking about now is weight loss. But soon, once New Year arrives, all we'll see is all the ads encouraging us to slim down. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be fitter, but this week Shannon's scary story is a timely reminder that there's no quick fix to losing those unwanted pounds (p10). When she thought she'd found one, it almost ended her life. Have a great week!…

STYLE TIP A dose of sparkle on your knitwear can bring a little glamour to your everyday look. Sizes from 8-22 Nutmeg at Morrisons Sizes from 8-24 George at Asda STYLE TIP Party season is all about textures – think sequins, metallics and faux fur for an attention-grabbing outfit. Sizes from 8-24 Tu at Sainsbury's STYLE TIP Red is the shade of the season so go bold in head-to-toe or tone down with more muted shades. Sizes from 6-22 F&F Clothing at Tesco STYLE TIP Choose one statement piece – a glittery cami or shimmery shirt – and wear with your wardrobe basics for a festive feel.…

When they met at a charity dinner, Pauline Hanna felt sure Philip Polkinghorne was the man of her dreams. Dinner a few days later confirmed her feelings. ‘I was sold,’ she said. Philip felt the same way, and Pauline was happy to become a stepmum to his three sons. In time, they married. Philip's career as an eye surgeon went from strength to strength, while Pauline worked hard as the director of a healthcare provider. Colleagues described her as confident, happy and larger-than-life. She regularly met friends at an exclusive private members’ club. The pair had a lovely home in an affluent suburb of Auckland, New Zealand. To the outside world, they were a happy couple. But things weren't as rosy as they seemed. As early as 2001, Pauline was…

Q I got drunk at a work party and slept with my supervisor. I have flashbacks of saying I didn't want to have sex, but he insisted I wanted it and still went ahead. When I woke up, I found a used condom. I feel humiliated and unsure if I should approach him. Is this rape? Name withheld A I'm really sorry you're going through this. Consent must be clear and ongoing, and alcohol can impair your ability to give informed consent. Prioritise your emotional wellbeing by talking to a trusted friend, GP or a mental health professional. If you're thinking of speaking to your supervisor, consider what you want from that conversation. Meanwhile, it's crucial to seek help. Contact sexual assault hotlines or support services, such as Rape Crisis…

1 You've worn your dressing gown for three days straight 2 Selection box for breakfast! 3 You google ‘divorce lawyers’ (can you divorce your kids?) 4 Someone asks what day it is 5 The kids break a new toy and all hell breaks loose 6 Picky bits for dinner! 7 Someone starts snoring during The Sound of Music 8 You're invited for a turkey curry 9 Someone asks if Die Hard is a Christmas movie 10 Easter eggs hit the shops 11 Scrabble ends in tears 12 You suggest a lovely family walk just as it starts to rain…

Opening my phone, I gasped at the text. I'm sorry, you're lovely, it's just your size. It was January 2007 and I'd been out with a bloke the night before. We'd met speed dating. Only, he didn't want to see me again. It wasn't the first time I'd been rejected after a man had seen me in person. It was hurtful. At a size 22, I knew I was big. I'd always been on the chunkier size. But after my son Nathan was born in 2000 my weight had crept up more. I split with his dad when he was 1. Threw myself into being a mum. Cooked Nathan healthy meals, ate his leftovers. Then, exhausted, I'd order myself a takeaway once he was in bed. Pizza, fish and chips,…

WIN £500 Puzzle 18 The answers to all but one of these quiz questions can be found hidden in this wordsearch grid, reading forwards, backwards, up, down or diagonally. To help you, we'll tell you that the answers are in alphabetical order in each section. However, one answer can't be found in the grid. This is your prize answer. CARGOES 1 John Masefield's poem Cargoes is celebrated in 21 sculptures around Mermaid Quay in which Welsh city, whose docks were once one of the largest in the world? (7) 2 Appearing in the first line of John Masefield's poem Cargoes, a quinquereme was an ancient warship thought to have involved groups of five men using what? (4) 3 Actor David Gulpilil, who starred in the films Crocodile Dundee, Rabbit-Proof Fence…

Revolution Jelly Blush Stick Lip & Cheek Stain, £5.99, revolutionbeauty.com Add a pop of colour to cheeks and lips with this handy stick, which is similar to a more expensive brand. It comes in three bright, but very wearable, shades. Batiste Original Dry Shampoo Festive Edition, £3.25, Boots This daily essential has had a very merry makeover. The classic dry shampoo is available in limited-edition festive packaging – it will come in useful to conceal greasy roots during the busy season. W7 Edgy Mascara, £4.95, w7makeup.co.uk Get a serious lash lift with W7's newest mascara. It has a silicone brush that will push eyelashes up and out, giving a luscious, lengthened effect. Lacura Overnight Plumping Face Mask, £5.99, Aldi Cheat a good night's sleep with this mask. It uses plant…

A few weeks after kissing me, Ray came to Mum's – while she went to the shop, Ray took me upstairs to her bedroom. ‘Shall we do something sexual?’ he asked. Before I knew it, Ray was taking off my clothes, forcing himself on top of me. Crushed underneath his weight, I couldn't push him off. ‘It hurts,’ I cried. ‘It's supposed to,’ Ray replied. Trembling, I lay there, waiting for him to stop. I hated every second. When he finally climbed off me, I lay frozen with fear. ‘You're not allowed to tell anyone,’ he said. ‘We have to wait until you're 18.’ I didn't understand, but nodded in agreement. Then he led me to the bathroom, and told me to have a shower. When he left, I felt…

WIN £1,001 Puzzle 4 What do TV presenter Alexander Armstrong and TV personality Dani Dyer have in common? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the three-word prize answer. ACROSS 1 Parent's brother (5) 4 Sprint (4) 6 Replied to a question (8) 13 Pupil (7) 14 Country, capital Brussels (7) 15 Depart (5) 16 Water bird (4) 17 Regular beat (6) 18 Ladybird, for example (6) 20 Leak slowly (4) 21 Young person (5) 22 Wanting food (6) 25 Robbie _, singer whose hits include Angels (8) 28 Fighting implement (6) 30 Not drunk (5) 32 Inability to sleep (8) 34 Precious metal (6) 35 Primary colour (4) 38 Traditional Scottish dish (6) 39 Goes out of a room (5) 40 Plan (6) 43 Nocturnal insect (4) 44 Kitchen gadget (6) 45 Giving permission to depart (8) 48 Places to sit (5) 49 Remember (6) 51 Hand over…

He's so controlling Q I'm feeling really worried about my niece. On the surface her partner seems nice but she's stopped going out, no longer has her hair done or wears make-up, and she's even given up her job. He's always with her and whenever I do catch her alone to ask about him, she changes the subject. I don't know how to help without pushing her away. Shelley, 55 A It's hard to know when to involve yourself in other people's relationships, pet. If she's brushing you off, just keep an eye on her. Keep conversations casual, rather than asking directly about her boyfriend. Let her know that you're there for her as a friend as well as an aunty, flower. The last thing she needs is to be…

Q My mum recently gave away a teddy that had been in my childhood room for as long as I can remember. I'm married with two kids and no longer live at home but he was mine. If I had wanted to give him away, I'd have passed him on to my kids. When I told her how upset I was she didn't see the problem. I'm so cross with her. Marianna, 37 A This sounds like betrayal of the highest order! In all seriousness, you'll have had lots of adventures with your teddy over the years, so it's understandable you're a bit miffed, pet. But Mum wouldn't have done it maliciously. Let her know in future if she wants to get rid of stuff to check with you first.…

Unlucky in love, Evan had tried almost every dating app in America when he decided to cast the net a little wider. ‘I decided to download a Filipino dating app just to see what's out there and right away I matched with Stephanie,’ he explains. The pair made an instant connection. ‘After three-and-a-half weeks of talking and getting to know the most beautiful, funny girl, I decided to book my flight to go see her.’ Evan arrived in the Philippines and asked Stephanie to be his girlfriend as soon as they met. They even discussed getting married. But with flight times of 15 hours and a cost of $5,000 per visit, a long distance relationship wasn't sustainable. So after just three trips, Evan paid for Stephanie to join him in…

Top tip Make to the end of step 2 up to two days ahead, or freeze for longer. Reheat, finishing with the remaining ingredients to serve. Pork and cider casserole Perfect for sharing with friends. Serve with mash or crusty bread. SERVES 4 PREP 30 MINS COOK 1 HR 30 MINS (OVEN) OR 4 HRS (SLOW COOKER) ● 2tbsp olive oil ● 600g pork loin fillet, sliced ● 1 red onion, thinly sliced ● 2 garlic cloves, grated ● 2tsp fennel seeds ● 500ml dry cider (or 350ml if using a slow cooker) ● Zest and juice 2 lemons ● 3tbsp crème fraiche ● 75g green olives ● 3tbsp capers ● Handful flat-leaf parsley, chopped 1 Heat the oven to 140C Fan/ Gas 3 or a slow cooker to high. Heat…

Aries 21 March-20 April Someone close to you really wants to help with an important decision. So listen to their advice and act on your intuition. This is a positive time for change. ● Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May Something's been on your mind recently, which you may have been losing sleep over. Find ways to let go of worries and be more present. More will be revealed. ● Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June Your youthful spirit and quick wit win you admirers. Notice that someone is paying you more attention than normal. This is your sign to make a move. Do it! ● Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July A work opportunity will take you…

LETTER of the week! Q I've always wanted to wear red lipstick at this time of year, but I've never felt quite brave enough. Is there a non-scary way to wear it? Sandra Coleman, Northamptonshire A You can't beat red lipstick – it adds instant festive cheer to any outfit. While reds may seem intimidating, you can take the guesswork out of your colour choice by picking a true red that's designed to suit all complexions. Max Factor Colour Elixir Lipstick in Ruby Tuesday, £9.99, Superdrug, will make eyes look brighter and teeth whiter. It has a satin formula, which is easy to apply, flattering and won't dry out lips. To ease yourself into wearing a red, lightly tap the colour onto your lips before applying a clear lip balm…

Alice Elliott, 42, from Elland, West Yorkshire What was your dream job when you were younger? I desperately wanted to be an actress. I still love a trip to the theatre now, but don't think I'd want to be on the stage! If you could only listen to one song forever what would it be? Oh, this is difficult. I'd have to say Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson. Listening to it full blast has helped get me through some tough times and it's also a great soundtrack for a gym workout. After Christmas is over, how will you be spending New Year's Eve? I used to love a night out for NYE when I was younger, but these days I prefer a night in with family and…

Standing in front of the mirror, I held my breath and desperately tugged at the zip on my jeans. They felt a lot tighter than usual. Had they shrunk in the wash? It was February 2024 and, examining my reflection, I accepted the truth. I was too fat to squeeze into my favourite jeans. I've always hovered around a size 10, but I'd gained a few pounds over the past year. Had to invest in some size-14 dresses. As a single mum of two girls, aged 9 and 4, life was busy. I'd let my usual healthy lifestyle slip. But I had an important event looming that I wanted to look good for. My sister's wedding was booked for August. ‘Only six months to go,’ I groaned. Jade, 31, had…

Winner, winner I was awarded a MBE in 2012 but kept it in the box for years. I bought a deep, white frame, painted it silver and pinned my MBE inside. I feel proud whenever I see it on my shelf. Deana Kenward, Guildford, Surrey Magic carpet Rather than throwing away some leftover new carpet, I decided to cut a piece off with a Stanley knife and made a doormat. Rachel Holford, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire Deep space I like to double up on things, as room in my handbag is at a premium. My spectacles case contains both reading glasses and sunglasses and my phone case also holds debit cards and shopping lists. Angela Power, Penrith, Cumbria £25 For every photo tip that we print Scent in a bottle I was…

A boy with breasts Q My 11-year-old son has nipple swelling, as though he is about to grow breasts. Is something wrong? He's very embarrassed. Dawn, Whitstable A It's common for boys around this age to have nipple swelling or to develop some breast tissue, which is called gynecomastia. This can happen during puberty because of changes in hormones, as testosterone and oestrogen levels change. Many boys go through this and it usually goes away on its own within a few months to a couple of years. Reassure your son that this is a normal part of growing up. Encourage him to talk about his feelings and concerns. If he still feels embarrassed or if the swelling doesn't go away, it might be a good idea to see a doctor.…

Q I've fallen deeply in love with a man from abroad. We met online, and I'm counting down the days until I can meet him in person. He's become my everything, I've never felt this way before. But my friends, family and even colleagues are all convinced he's lying to me or just after a visa. I can't understand why they'd think that. We're in love. Vicky, 31 A I'm going to bring you down to earth, petal. It's right that your loved ones are questioning this. Cyberlove can be thrilling, but are you absolutely sure you're talking to who you think you are? Have you video-called? Even if he's being honest, the chemistry may not be the same when you're face to face. Don't jump in head first before…

Giddy with excitement, I kicked off my heels and flopped on the bed. Both just 26, it was August 2013 and we were young, excited newlyweds. Our whole lives ahead of us. Making a baby would be fun! And it was, at least to start with. But month after month, my period arrived. Disappointment set in. After three years of trying, I still wasn't pregnant. In July 2016, I started feeling tired all the time. Wondered if it was finally happening, but… ‘Negative,’ I told Tom after taking a test. When my vision began blurring too, I booked an appointment with the optician. ‘There's nothing wrong with your eyes,’ he said. My GP referred me for tests, which showed my blood pressure was sky high. ‘It's your kidneys,’ the doc…

3 ways to.. keep money resolutions Planning to turn your finances around in 2025? Here's how… 1 Pace yourself Trying to make too many changes at once can be overwhelming and may lead to giving up. Start by listing your financial resolutions, and focus on one at a time. Then, once a habit feels manageable, add another. Remember, the goal isn't to change everything instantly at the start of the year but rather to establish positive changes that you can sustain over the long term. 2 Make a goal It's easier to stick to resolutions when you have strong motivation. Be clear about your goals and try to visualise them. Keeping images of your goals where you can see them helps, as does tracking your progress. Many banks allow you to open…

Stepping into my house, I flicked off my shoes. Took in the smell of pizza, the sound of chatter coming from the kitchen. ‘Hungry, Mum?’ my son Ty'relle, 20, asked, lifting a pizza from the oven, ready to slice for his friends. ‘No, I'm fine,’ I smiled, grabbing a glass of water and leaving them to it. Minutes later, I heard a tap on my bedroom door. ‘Sure I can't get you anything?’ Ty'relle asked. ‘Just a hug,’ I told him. He beamed, threw his arms around me. I suffered from type one diabetes and Ty'relle worried about me. As I got ready for bed, I thought proudly about how my son looked after everyone. Cooked dinner for his mates, doted on his younger brother Pheron, then 14. Loved rap…

The night was cold as Jess Chatwin felt snuggled under the arm of her boyfriend Cody Fisher, 23, as they made their way to a local nightclub. It was Boxing Day 2022 and the young couple were excited to be going out to party with friends. Cody and Jess were a good-looking couple. Her a striking brunette and him with his blue eyes and athletic body. It was their fourth Christmas together, after meeting in 2019 through mutual friends. The pair were inseparable. Soul mates. Cody was a keen footballer, played for Stratford Town. And he and Jess had a promising future – marriage, kids, growing old together… They were joined on that evening by Cody's best mate and fellow footballer Dan. Everyone was in high spirits. But Cody's mum…