Table of contents for 11 May 2023 in Chat

TRUE-LIFE Standing naked in front of my bedroom mirror, I squeezed my boobs, pushing them up until they were as full and pert as they once were. ‘I had fabulous boobs,’ I sighed. Then I dropped my hands to my side and winced at the reflection of the sad, empty sacks I was left with. It was January 1996 and I was only 17. A year earlier, I’d been slim with a perky pair of 32Ds. But then I fell pregnant and they’d shot up two cup sizes. ‘Your figure will ping straight back,’ mates told me. But after my beautiful daughter Sasha was born, I’d battled with breastfeeding, suffering from endless bouts of painful mastitis. My poor boobs were constantly sore, swollen and red. After a few months I…

YOU’RE THE JUDGE! Heidi Firkus was the hostess with the mostest. She enjoyed bringing her friends and family together for dinner parties at the beautiful home she shared with her husband Nicholas. The couple had found love young. After meeting as teenagers at the church where they were both youth-group leaders, they married in 2005. By 2010, they’d settled in an idyllic neighbourhood in St Paul, Minnesota. Heidi, 25, loved their life there. When she wasn’t walking the tree-lined streets, she was curled up in front of a romcom. One evening that April, she and Nick, then 27, spent time with friends. The next night, they watched Avatar. A regular snapshot of the couple’s happy home life. Only, the following day, at 6:32am, Heidi called the police. ‘Someone’s trying to…

Help! Sex hurts Q Sex is agony, especially when my partner’s penis first enters me. What’s wrong? Sienna, Eckington A Doctors divide painful sex, called dyspareunia, into two main types. Superficial dyspareunia means pain around the entrance to your vagina when the penis enters. Deep dyspareunia occurs inside when he’s thrusting and often has different causes. Sounds as if you have the superficial form, which could mean several things including infections such as thrush, dryness from menopause or lack of lubrication, or injury around your vagina. Small scars following cuts or tears during childbirth are a common cause or sometimes vaginismus, spasm of the muscles around your vagina, is to blame. Another possibility is vulvodynia, a tender sensitive vulva (the area around your vagina) with no obvious cause. These can…

1 Avoid fragrance ‘Some perfumes, such as lavender combinations, actually attract insects and most toiletries and sunscreens, along with many fabric softeners, contain scent,’ says bite expert Howard Carter. A citronella-based soap has a repellent effect towards insects. 2 Cover up In the early evening, around stagnant water or in woodland, trousers and long sleeves offer protection. Howard explains that mosquitoes are more attracted to dark colours, so wear clothing that’s lightly coloured and loose. 3 Use repellent ‘Protect any exposed skin - especially the ears, wrists and ankles, where the skin is thinner and blood vessels are nearer the surface,’ says Howard. ‘And spray clothing as mosquitoes can bite through fabric, even jeans!’ Try Incognito, an NHS-approved insect repellent that contains oil of lemon eucalyptus (£11.99 for 100ml, Boots). 4 Shut your windows Especially…

Does he really fancy me? Q My boyfriend pays me lots of compliments, calling me beautiful, sexy and gorgeous every day. But I don’t believe him - I’m just too self-conscious about my body. Exes have said this to me, but then called me disgusting in arguments, which has affected my self-esteem. How can I get over my body hang-ups? Sammy, 28 A Don’t punish your current partner for the mistakes of your exes, pet. He’s saying these things because he believes them, so trust in what he says - he sounds like a good’un. It doesn’t sound like you have a healthy relationship with yourself - work on your self-esteem and self-worth, sweetheart. Accepting his compliments will bring you both closer and make your bond stronger.…

3 ways to… Stay finance savvy As the cost of living crisis bites, it’s more important than ever to be in control of your cash. 1 Knowledge is power Take time each month to review your finances thoroughly and compare your spending to recent months. If you’ve spent more, consider why that is. Did you have an unexpected cost such as a car repair or have you been spending cash without really knowing what on? If you haven’t written a budget before, you may find the Budget Planner at moneyhelper.org.uk is helpful. It will also suggest tips on how to cut costs like household bills too. It’s also a good idea to keep track of your spending daily, too, so you have an up-to-date view of your finances - you can do this quickly by…

5-11 May 2023 Aries 21 March-20 April Trust your intuition and be crystal clear about what it is you need. By expressing yourself honestly, new doors and opportunities will open wide for you. • Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May With Mercury retrograde in your sign this week make sure you avoid confrontation. Wait until next week before you make any important decisions. • Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June Venus is in the last few degrees of your sign right now. So, tie up any loose ends, let the past go and look forward with a fresh perspective. • Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July Make the most of any new work opportunities this week. Your hard…

Q Do I really need to use a separate eye cream or will my face cream do the job? Shanice Beaker, 56, Weymouth A The eye area is often the first place to show signs of ageing. The skin around your eyes is three times thinner than the rest of the face so face creams can be too heavy and cause puffiness. A targeted eye cream will include active ingredients at lower concentrations to care for this delicate skin. Plus, the eye area has different needs to the face and a specialist eye cream will address everything from puffiness and dark circles to crow’s feet. For dark circles, vitamin C works well. Garnier Vitamin C Eye Cream, £10.99, Boots, contains 4% vitamin C to brighten and improve firmness. For lines,…

BEHIND THE BIG CRIME TRUE-LIFE It was clear from the CCTV footage released at the time that Samantha Koenig, 18, was scared for her life. And she had every reason to be. It was 8pm on 1 February 2012 and she was working at a coffee kiosk near to her home in Anchorage, Alaska. It was a normal shift for Samantha, until Israel Keyes, 34, appeared at the window, pointing a gun at her head. ‘This is a robbery,’ he boomed, ordering her to turn off the lights, hand him the cash in the till. Samantha held her hands in the air, fear and shock etched on her face. Then did as she was told. Keyes bound her hands behind her back with zip ties, stuffed napkins in her mouth. Led…

CHRISTINE PRESTON, 46, FROM OSWESTRY, SHROPSHIRE, SAYS: Sue McKevitt is an amazing inspiration to our small volunteering team at the Sense shop in Oswestry. Sue, 76, was sadly diagnosed with a rare cancer in 2007, which impacts several parts of her body and requires daily chemotherapy. Despite this, she is a committed volunteer at her local Sense charity shop, coming in several days a week to help raise vital funds for children and adults with deaf-blindness or complex disabilities that affect the way they communicate. Using her retail background, Sue has helped the Sense shop in Oswestry become a great success. Not only is Sue enthusiastic and positive, but she’s also fabulous with our customers - and makes a great latte over a chat at break time! Her support of…

Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary satirically defined what art form as ‘a play in which none of our fellow-actors are visibly killed’? Make three nine-letter words using all of these three-letter sections and enter them in the grid as the starter letters indicate. An anagram of the letters in the yellow squares form the prize answer. IST ADE ICS RAS MAR PBE LOG MAL RRY Your answer: WIN 5x £20 Puzzle 3 TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

STYLE TIP Don’t be afraid to mix prints – spots and stripes work well together. Finish with a pop of pink to brighten the monochrome. STYLE TIP Give a shirt dress a casual spin and team with trainers and a denim jacket for a cool weekend look. STYLE TIP Polka dots can easily be dressed up for special occasions – just add glitzy accessories and a fascinator for an elegant touch. STYLE TIP Show off your waist with a belted blouse and jeans combo. The wide-leg cut will also help to lengthen your legs.…

King Charles III is our 62nd monarch and his coronation is on 6 May What to wear No neon pink nails please, ladies. Demure manicures and neutral polish only. For formal gatherings, it’s hats before 6pm. After that you can wear a tiara. But only if you’re married, got it? No? Us neither. But get the iron out so your fella can get those creases out of his shoelaces. The King likely has staff for that. Young boys must wear shorts until the age of 8, even if it’s cold out. So those long socks aren’t just a fashion statement! Handbags at dawn Not just for lippy! During public engagements, if the late Queen shifted her bag from her left arm to her right arm, it meant she’d had enough chit-chat…

Q I’m getting married in June. His sister is our bridesmaid but she’s refusing to go on my hen do and said she’d rather go out with her mates. I’ve tried to get to the bottom of the issue but she won’t talk to me about it. We used to get on really well, so I’m confused. Amy, 38 A She just doesn’t seem like she’s all that interested in your wedding, petal. And that’s OK! It’s your wedding after all. Talk to your hubby-to-be about inviting his sister as a guest rather than a bridesmaid. She may have only accepted to be polite. Try not to take it to heart. You just enjoy planning your wedding, hun.…

At the height of her bingeeating disorder, Claireabelle Burt kept a heartbreaking video diary. ‘I just want to eat,’ she wept, recording herself repeatedly opening and closing the fridge in despair. 'No one understands how hard this is. I just want to go and eat something.’ At 26st 11b, Claire, from New Zealand, felt utterly trapped. ‘I had given up,’ she says, describing overwhelming feelings of ‘emptiness’. Claire had struggled with binge-eating disorder as a child, and was targeted by bullies at school. ‘There was a group of boys that used to call me ‘Bigfoot’ and ‘beached whale’, so that contributed to how I dealt with my emotions. I would consume a large amount of food,’ she says. Then when Claire was 16 she began suffering from bulimia, too. ‘With…

NO-FUSS FOOD Cajun coronation chicken with bean salad We love this fiery twist on a classic. SERVES 6 PREP 15 MINS COOK 10 MINS For the bean salad: 1 In a medium frying pan, fry the onion in the oil for 10 mins until softened. Add the spice mix and chipotle paste, cook for 1 min, then set aside to cool. 2 Combine the cooked onion with the yogurt, lime zest and juice and chicken. Stir to coat. 3 In another bowl, mix the beans, sweetcorn, spring onions, peppers, two-thirds of the coriander and the dressing. Serve alongside the chicken with more coriander scattered over. PER SERVING: 325 CALS, 15G FAT, 3.5G SAT FAT 18.5G CARBS…

E.l.f. Good Vibes Only Eyeshadow Palette in Hey Sunshine, £4, Superdrug This shadow set will flatter any eye colour. Take your look from day to night in a jiffy – stick with the matt browns over your lids and along the lower lash line for the daytime then add some sparkle over the top and in the inner corners of your eyes for the evening. The pigment pay-off is impressive for the price, which works out at just £1 per eyeshadow. Creightons H20 Boost Hyaluronic Overnight Mask, £3.99, LloydsPharmacy Give dry skin a big slurp of moisture with this bedtime treatment. Cleanse your face and then add a thick layer to treat your skin as you sleep. Hyaluronic acid attracts 1,000 times its weight in water, plumping up the surface…

Chat winners issue 6 (9 Feb 2023) £1,001 CASH G Roper, West Drayton £500 CASH P Ward, Crawley J Walton, Chorley K Flatters, Castleford £250 CASH P Price, Cirencester L Davidson, Alness £200 CASH A Wherly, Burnham-on-Sea £100 CASH F Scott, Torquay O Llewellyn, St Helens M Gee, Buxton £75 CASH J Rhymer, Banbury £50 CASH M Davis, Chessington J Richards, Dartford H Lovatt, Stoke-on-Trent B Keirle, Bridgwater P Parkin, Barnsley J Geekie, Dunbar £40 CASH M Metson, Ware £30 CASH J Tomlinson, Solihull U Bingham, Winchester £25 CASH S Jones, Runcorn Anyone from your town in the list this week..? J Spalding, Mansfield £20 CASH M Plant, Nottingham M Norris, Alresford T Bourke, Leiston E Kidd, Macclesfield F Malloy, Leven S Richardson, Pershore A Marchant, Telford B Ellis, Bradford K…

TRUE-LIFE The ceiling shook as my sons Danny, then 9, Tommy, 8, and Georgie, 5, thundered round the house playing hide and seek. ‘Careful!’ I called up the stairs. ‘Alright, Mum,’ Tommy giggled, racing off to find his brothers. It was June 2002, and being a single mum of three boisterous boys was full on. But I loved it. Every night, we’d have tea together, talk about our day. ‘You can come to me about anything,’ I’d tell Danny and Tommy. ‘Yes, Mum,’ they’d chime, sharing an eye roll. Yet one afternoon in May 2010, when he was 16, Tommy called me from the school bus. ‘I’ve got something to tell you…’ he said, voice shaking. My mind was racing. Was he in trouble? Hurt? Then… ‘I’m gay,’ Tommy finished.…

Win £1,001 Puzzle 4 What is the name of TV presenter Davina McCall’s hairdresser boyfriend? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the two-word prize answer. ACROSS characterplayedbyCourteneyCox (6) Promise9 Ellipticalshape4 Publiclydeclare8 Thunbergactivist (5) Easily6 Comeintoflower7) Oblonginshape11) Pursue5 Offensive9 Legends5 Legalprofessionals7 Liquoriceflavour7 Fruitusedtomakejelly or jam (6) Emphasised8 OneoftheKnightsof the Round Table (8) Hardlyever6 Addsugarto7) Relieson7 Cartoonduck5 Favourablysuggest9 Wide5 Jumpinginsect11 Adore7 Mintandrumcocktail(6) Roofingtile5 Financialrecords8 Animalwithantlers4) Exactlythesame9) Probable6 DOWN Socialiseortalkinformally(6) Withlotsofenergy(10) Sincere7 Consensus9 Perilous9 Strongwind4 CapitalofCanada6) Writtencommunication7 Usually8 Mariner6 Felines4 Useones ears (4)…

Q I’ve a testicle lump, which my surgeon says is a varicocele and needs embolisation! What does that mean? James, Boston A A varicocele is actually a varicose vein around your testicle and is generally harmless though can cause aching, a dragging sensation or fertility problems. Most varicoceles can be safely ignored but if yours is causing issues, then treatment means either an op to cut out and clip or tie the defective vein, or embolisation. This involves blocking the vein with fine wire coils, which the doctor positions using a real-time X-ray screen, all under local anaesthetic. Expect mild aching and bruising afterwards - vigorous exercise, including sex, is out for a couple of weeks.…

Q My periods smell awful and I’m embarrassed to go out! Surely that’s not normal? Dhalia, Fleet A Your period contains blood together with natural vaginal discharge and fragments of womb lining and a slight bloody smell is quite normal, sometimes with a metallic scent from iron in blood. Harmless bacteria from your vagina might infect period blood and lead to a rotten smell, though this should be rarely noticeable by anyone else. Maybe you’re being oversensitive - try asking a close friend. An obvious period smell could suggest an infection such as bacterial vaginosis (BV) which produces a fishy odour. See your GP if there’s a strong smell, a coloured discharge or pain. Otherwise try wearing loose cotton undies, wash the area daily and change your pads or tampons…

Active from 2010 until 2019, Hard Candy Fitness was a brand of exercise clubs and products established by which pop star? Hidden in this grid, reading forwards, backwards, up, down or diagonally, are ten items beginning with M, one for each of the subjects given below. Find them all and the remaining letters will spell out the two-word prize answer. Engine Demeanour Pasture Tune Adviser 1,000 x 1,000 Subtract Snail, for example Source of inspiration Instrumentalist WIN 3x £50 Puzzle 8 Your answer:…

TRUE-LIFE Lying on a bed in the ultrasound suite with tears rolling down my cheeks, I shook my head determinedly. ‘No. Never,’ I said. Beside me, my partner Andy, then 24, squeezed my hand in agreement. The doctor had just told us that there was a problem with our baby’s heart, and asked if we’d consider a termination. The very idea was unthinkable. Our baby was already a miracle, you see. With polycystic ovary syndrome, I’d known since I was 17 that having kids would be tricky. When I met Andy in 2014, we quickly started trying, and when that didn’t work, my GP referred us for IVF. But just before our first cycle, I had my tubes flushed – a simple procedure to open the fallopian tubes – and…

Q My boyfriend has broken up with me because he found out that I smoked. His brother died of lung cancer so he says he simply refuses to be with anyone who smokes. I told him I’d quit, but he just called it off. I have now managed to give it up, and I really miss him. Alice, 28 A You can’t really blame your ex-boyfriend for not wanting to date a smoker, sweetheart. But if you’ve given up just for him, rather than for yourself, you could easily start again. If you actually are smoke-free, why don’t you drop him a message. Ask him how he is, tell him how long it’s been since you smoked, and thank him for giving you the kick up the bum you needed,…

Climbing into the front passenger seat of my mum Margaret’s car, my heart felt heavy and I gulped back tears. ‘What if I never get to be a mum?’ I asked as she pulled out of the doctor’s car park. It was 1988, and I was only 16, but my periods were irregular, heavy. Often left me doubled over in pain or curled up in bed with a hot water bottle pressed to my tummy. Worried, Mum, then 43, had taken me to the doc, who’d just diagnosed me with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). My ovaries were enlarged, containing fluid filled sacs, and didn’t regularly release eggs. ‘You might never have children naturally,’ he’d warned. Being so close to Mum, I’d always wanted kids of my own one day. When…

Pantene Colour Gloss & Deep Repair Hair Mask, £10 Lock the bathroom door and lie back with this indulgent hair mask. It’s like a two-week holiday for frazzled locks, with smoothing ingredients to give hair back its silky swish. Max Factor X Priyanka Colour Elixir Lipstick, £8.99 Available in nine rich shades designed to suit every skin tone, this lipstick feels as good as it looks, packing on the hydration with shea butter and avocado and coconut oils. Simple 10% Niacinamide (Vitamin B3) Booster Serum, £3.99 Niacinamide is a real doesit-all ingredient, helping to brighten dull skin, smooth skin texture, curb oiliness and maintain a healthy skin barrier. Apply this serum after cleansing, or mixed into your favourite moisturiser. Monday Original Dry Shampoo With Keratin, £3.50, Boots Dry shampoo sometimes…

Dear Sadie, O pening my fridge, you peered inside and scanned the contents. ‘Can I make dinner?’ you asked, and I chuckled. Glad I’d nipped to the supermarket after I’d been asked to take you in. Teenagers are always hungry, I thought, remembering how my daughter Rebecca would be famished when she came home from school. But Rebecca was 36 now, and it had been decades since I had a teenager in my house. We settled on fajitas, and sat nervously opposite one another at my kitchen table. Just 15, and going through a troubled time at home, you had no idea that your bubbly chatter as we ate was changing my life. I’d become a widow at 59, when my husband of nearly 40 years, Ted, died after a…