Table of contents for 12 January 2023 in Chat

Welcome to this week's Chat… All families have their quirks but Kymmi's gang really are something else (p24). She, her hubby and their kids are a family of ghost hunters. Their little ones are braver than me – they love nothing more than play dates with their spirit pals and going for a McDonald's DriveThru in their hearse. Would I share my milkshake and fries with a spook? Nope! But I loved reading all about a family who do, and I hope you will too. Have a great week! PS If you're entering the puzzles online, this is the link to use: comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Trundling my suitcase behind me, I checked my watch as I set off from my hotel. Plenty of time to reach the train station in the centre of Workington. It was March 2022 and I was on my way back home to Folkestone, Kent. I'd been visiting family and had had a lovely time. But now it was time to get home. It was still light at 4.45pm as I walked along the street. I turned a corner, and suddenly a figure shot out of a side street. A big bloke hurtled towards me. He kept running as he got nearer. His pounding feet kept going. Oh my God, he's going to barrel right into me. By now I could see his face – dark, angry, scowling. I stepped out…

Obsessed with death Q Since my mum died of cancer a year ago, I can't enjoy life without thinking about my own death. What's the point of anything if I'm going to die? I'm a single parent and I wonder what would happen to my boys if I was gone. I feel as though I'm just existing for my kids. Any advice to stop this negative thinking? Abbie, 45 A I'm so sorry for your loss, sweetheart. When someone close to us dies, it's natural to worry about our own mortality. But you can't live life like you're already dead, flower. Take some time to recover from your grief. Reach out for support. But most importantly, enjoy your life. It's what your lovely mum would want, I'm certain. Wet-knicker shame…

3 ways to… talk to your partner about money When every penny counts, it's crucial to be able to discuss your finances with your other half. Here's how to start the conversation… 1Make time to talk Many of us find thinking about money stressful and may try to avoid talking about it. But it's vital to have open conversations, especially when the cost-of-living crisis means we are having to cut back. One way to start is by suggesting you have a ‘money date night’. This means setting aside a time when you can discuss all things money related – from what you spend day to day, to chatting about priorities and future goals. Choose a time and place where you can relax and won't be disturbed – and commit to…

Aries 21 March-20 April As Jupiter enters Aries, you're asking yourself important life questions. Most people only dream about change, but you chase your dreams. • Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May Your partner has romantic plans – work methodically and you will have some free time later. Plan your weekly schedule and make the mos of your work/life balance. • Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June Don't underestimate what you can convey to others. Your friend needs a reassuring hug rather than advice. You're wise and will know what to do. • Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July You have the opportunity to make great progress, as the full moon is in your sign You'll succeed, as…

QDo I really need a separate night and day cream? Lisa Bowman, Aylesbury A Times are tough and skincare can feel like a luxury. The reason why we often recommend a cream for day and another for evening is based on the skin's functions. During the day, skin goes into defence mode, warding off damage from UV exposure and pollution. An antioxidant cream such as YourGoodSkin Anti-Oxidant Day Cream SPF30, £8, Boots, will help bolster the skin's protective shield during the day. At night, however, skin is hard at work repairing damage and rebuilding cells, and a great night cream will take advantage of this overnight renewal process. Look for creams with retinol, peptides and gentle acids. We love Olay Regenerist Retinol 24 Night Cream, £34.99, Superdrug. If you can't…

LONG-SLEEVE TOPS STYLE TIP Look out for functional fabrics that keep moisture from your skin, ensuring you stay comfortable while on the move. PRINTED LEGGINGS STYLE TIP Opt for printed styles when choosing leggings. Busy prints disguise lumps and bumps, leaving you feeling body confident. SPORTY TRAINERS STYLE TIP White trainers are a wardrobe staple for every day, so have some fun with your sports shoes and choose bright, bold colours. FROM £7 ZIP-UP JUMPERS STYLE TIP Small cut-out thumb holes will help keep sleeves in place and provide extra warmth for your hands and wrists.…

Is it ‘the change’ already? Q I'm only 43 but my doctor's confirmed I've started my menopause. How is that possible? Tammy, Newcastle-under-Lyme A Most women experience their menopause between the ages of 45 and 55. If it happens earlier it's called an early menopause, or premature ovarian failure. Sometimes there's an obvious cause, such as cancer treatment, infection or surgery to remove your ovaries but usually we don't know why it happens, though the tendency can run in families. Besides your periods slowing down or stopping, you might have symptoms such as flushes and sweats and your GP can confirm the diagnosis with a blood test. Treatment is likely to mean replacing missing hormones with the contraceptive pill or hormone replacement therapy (HRT) which will also help reduce the…

Best friends often share things with each other, be it advice, recipes or life's most important days. So it wasn't unusual that Angel wanted to share her wedding day to fiancé Tyler with her own best friend, Sam. Angel and Sam had been close friends ever since their college days. But when Angel and Tyler said their vows and Sam looked on, smiling, in her pink bridesmaid gown, there was more to their closeness than most would've suspected. Because Sam wasn't just a proud bridesmaid to the happy newlyweds… she was also their girlfriend. ‘We are a throuple, polyamorous closed triad,’ bride Angel explains. ‘All three of us date, and are exclusive to each other.’ Angel and Tyler have been together for four years, after meeting online. ‘We matched on…

Sausage with roasted ratatouille Tasty roast vegetables go perfectly with the sausages in this one-tray dinner. SERVES 6 PREP 5 MINS COOK 25 MINS 12 sausages 2 small red onions, cut into wedges 2 garlic cloves, crushed 200g courgettes, chopped 1 aubergine, chopped 1 yellow pepper, deseeded and chopped 200g cherry tomatoes Few sprigs of fresh rosemary 1tbsp olive oil PER SERVING FAT, 7g SAT FAT, 24g CARBS Top tip Serve with couscous. Put 200ml Top tip Serve with couscous. Put 200ml hot veg stock in a bowl, add 100g couscous, cover. Leave to stand until the liquid is absorbed. Fluff up with a fork and serve. Meatballs in red veg sauce Sun-dried tomato paste makes the sauce richer and even more tasty! SERVES 4 PREP 10 MINS COOK…

Looking from my watch to the white plastic test on the table, every second felt like an hour. ‘Come on,’ I urged. Finally, the time was up and I peeked at the result. Two lines. Positive. But it wasn't good news. Not in the slightest. ‘I've got COVID!’ I said to my partner Gavin, then 43. Six months earlier, in March 2021, a very different kind of white stick had given a positive result and we'd been over the moon. Coming after years of trying and a round of IVF, it was a dream come true. I loved being pregnant, planning for our miracle little girl to arrive. After seeing her on a special 3D scan at 16 weeks we'd chosen the name Sofia. I cherished that picture, along with…

Collection Hydra Serum Foundation, £7.99 Combining great mid-level coverage with a fresh and glowing finish, this is a greatfoundation for dry, sensitive skin (or any skin, to be honest!). Enriched with skincare-inspired ingredients like Hyaluronic acid and vitamin E, it will keep skin feeling quenched so your make-up looks great all day. Pro:Voke Touch of Silver Purple Toning Dry Shampoo, £3.99, Sainsbury's No time to wash your hair? No worries. This will mop up excess oil and refresh your roots in seconds. Even better, it's formulated with violet pigment to nuke brassy yellow tones in blonde, grey and white hair for an instant brightness boost. Hold the can 25 cm away from your head, mist over the roots then give hair a zhuzh with your fingers.…

STEPHEN MCCARTHY, 59, FROM GLASGOW, SAYS: I'm nominating fab volunteer Elin Cave as my local hero. Elin, 23, gives her time as a telephone befriender for Glasgow's Golden Generation, a charity aimed at tackling loneliness in Glasgow's older adult population. In her role, Elin has phoned me every week for the past year to provide emotional support. I have suffered from long-term mentalhealth problems, especially during the pandemic, so Elin has been a fantastic help. Now I feel more confident than ever, and it's all down to Elin. Elin's helpful nature doesn't stop there, as she also volunteers at a soup kitchen for the homeless. Elin is a fantastic and warm-hearted person, who has made a huge impact on my life. She's cheerful, helpful and intelligent, as well as making…

EDITOR'S WARNING YOU'RE THE JUDGE! To the outside world, Kathleen Mangan's life must have seemed pretty much perfect. She was married to Gilberto Valle, a New York City police officer, and the pair had an 11-month-old daughter. Yet Kathleen suspected that something wasn't quite right. Gilberto was spending hours on his computer, through the night into the early hours of the next morning. Kathleen became worried he was having an affair. She installed spyware onto the computer that would reveal to her what her husband was doing. Yet the results were far more life-shattering than she could have ever imagined. Far from exchanging sweet nothings with another woman, Gilberto was actually spending his stolen hours on a fetish website. There, he was laying out detailed plans of how he was…

Q I'm up 30 times a night for a pee and I'm shattered! Tablets from my doctor haven't helped, any ideas? Lesley, Doncaster A Sounds appalling, no wonder you're tired! Your doctor can rule out possible causes, such as diabetes, urine infection, kidney problems or the side-effects of some drugs, but the most likely cause is overactive bladder syndrome, OAB. Your bladder muscle is overactive and tries to squeeze out urine before it's properly full. Besides repeated night-time trips to the loo you may feel the repeated urge to pee during the day. Drugs to relax your bladder can work, although it might take some trial and error to find one that suits you. Another treatment is bladder retraining, where a therapist teaches you to hold on longer and longer…

Wagging his tail, my dog Bronson zoomed across the park. ‘Here boy!’ I called. ‘Let's get you home.’ Growing up, I always had English bull terriers, and adored their unique faces and lust for life. Aged 24, in May 2019, I spotted Bronson, a white English bull terrier, on a rehoming site. I instantly fell in love. But, only one year old, he'd been through a lot. Deaf and found on the street, he'd been neglected. I wanted to give him a happy forever home. But Bronson was a handful. Tore around my flat like a wrecking ball. I hope I've done the right thing, I panicked. But he soon settled, and I'd take him for walks with a local bull-terrier group. Obsessed with balls, he even tried to chew…

Admiring the bare, secondhand van sitting outside our flat, I squeezed my partner Sarah's hand. ‘Trust me, in a few months it'll be perfect,’ I grinned. It was June 2020, and Sarah was seven months pregnant with our first child. But instead of moving our growing family into a larger home, we'd found the perfect place to downsize. In fact, we were looking at it right now! ‘It does need some work,’ Sarah replied. Always adventurous, Sarah and I dreamt of travelling the world together in a van. The freedom to live anywhere and experience all kinds of new places sounded thrilling. Both with busy jobs, our wanderlust had to take a back seat. But when we found out we were having a baby, we decided to take a year…

Shoving the pie and crisps into my bag, I quickly paid for my petrol and hurried back out to the car. My lunch, yet again, was food hastily bought from a garage as I drove between calls in my work as a carer. But then, even given a choice, I'd never have picked out a salad. I was 19st. Had been a comfort eater ever since I was a girl. At the age of 17, my dress size had been 18-20. My mum Katherine had persuaded me to join Slimming World – she even came with me, despite her being a beanpole! I had a target of losing 8½st, but I have no idea if I ever reached it or not, because I left. And I reasoned that I was…