Table of contents for September 9, 2024 in Globe

BALK THIS WAY Daytime diva JENNIFER HUDSON doesn’t look convinced she’s nailed the first pitch at a Chicago White Sox game! THE BEST CELEB PHOTOS EVERY WEEK! TONGUE TWISTER Singer GRACE JONES is ready to lick the competition as she launches into a set at San Francisco’s Outside Lands Festival PLANK STARE Funnyman JOE GORGA — the hunky hubby of New Jersey’s reality housewife Melissa — dives into his comedy routine in Atlantic City YOU GLOW, GIRL! Freaky Friday’s LINDSAY LOHAN shows off her shockingly pale pins while taking a dip in Malibu HERE’S THE SCOOP! Jumbo JAMES CORDEN — former host of The Late Late Show — slurps up ice cream in Saint-Tropez WRAPPER’S DELIGHT The Tonight Show loudmouth JIMMY FALLON proves his patriotism isn’t flagging!…

COUNTRY wildcat Tanya Tucker has lived up to her Texas Tornado rep when it comes to working out and dieting, but sources say her lover Craig Dillingham is getting fed up with her low-cal lifestyle. The 65-year-old Delta Dawn songbird keeps her 5-foot-7 bod at a healthy 137 after dropping 40 pounds six years ago, and now sources say her weight is an obsession. “She’s fixated on calories everywhere she goes,” spills an insider. “Tanya used to be hefty, but since she lost weight, she’s been loving how she looks in skinny jeans and sexy tops. “Now, after years of yoyo dieting, she’s kept the weight off, but she is obsessed. When she gets up in the morning, working out is the first thing she does.” Sources snitch her fixation’s put a…

THE ROCK’S NO ARMY HERO Movie muscleman DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON is a one-man gang when it comes to saving the day in his flicks, so the U.S. Army should have taken the hint that the wrestler’s not great at rounding up a bunch of dudes to fight alongside him. Now, military bigwigs have egg on their faces after paying the hunk and his fledgling United Football League a whoppin’ $11 million to enlist badly needed recruits on his social media posts — and not hooking one new fish! Army brass figured they had a good deal with The Scorpion King hero, who was supposed to make five promotional posts on Instagram, where he has 396 million followers. But sources say he made just two posts — and still got…

4/10 BLAKE LIVELY Less would have been more for the Gossip Girl, whose blingy pink dress is much too busy 8/10 PATTI LUPONE The Broadway diva hits the spot in a wild animal print — but her pants are a little too long 3/10 REBEL WILSON The frumpy funnylady is a diamond in the rough who needs to adjust her off-kilter combo 2/10 SUNNY HOSTIN It’s curtains for The View’s legal eagle, who looks like she’s wearing tacky window dressing 6/10 DENISE RICHARDS The RHOBH alum is a garden variety gal in a ho-hum hydrangea gown and simple slides…

DANCE Moms superstar JoJo Siwa claims Nickelodeon blackballed her after she came out as LGBTQ+ in 2021. JoJo says the kid channel’s president, Brian Robbins, called and asked her, “What are we going to tell the kids?” prompting the Karma singer to quip, “That I’m happy?” She also alleges Robbins told her to reach out to retail partners Target and Claire’s “and tell them that you’re not going crazy.” The network has denied the allegations, pointing to a JoJo–themed Pride collaboration.…

A CHICKEN-hearted former food service director has been sentenced to nine years in stir for stealing $1.5 million worth of tasty wings meant for schoolkid lunches! Vera Liddell, 68, pleaded guilty to felony theft for clucking off with 11,000 cases of chicken wings she ordered for an Illinois school district, according to the Cook County State’s Attorney’s office. She never served up the hot wings, instead putting herself first in the pecking order for the paid-for poultry, authorities say! Patrick O’Byrne, an attorney for the chicken plucker, says Liddell has egg on her face and expressed “a great deal of remorse” for her birdbrained fowl deeds. “She feels incredibly distraught, terrible about what she did,” he says. “She can’t even believe she did it!” But the State Attorney was broiling…

A RUNAWAY giant tortoise just made one shell of a journey — the critter went on the lam VERY SLOWLY, plodding along a four-lane Arizona interstate highway for miles before flat-footed cops finally caught up with him! The 14-year-old giant sulcata tortoise, a sandycolored sweetheart named Stitch, made a break for the border when he wriggled through some damaged fencing surrounding his enclosure at Rooster Cogburn Ostrich Ranch and Petting Zoo in Picacho. A few hours after the massive tortoise felt the need for speed and made his getaway July 30, stunned commuters began calling 911 from their cars to report the docile creature plodding along at less than warp speed. Danna Cogburn, an owner of the ranch, says Stitch was discovered missing the morning after storms damaged some of the…

GLOBE’S NO-NON SENSE OPINION PAGE MOST folks dream of somehow amassing a couple of million bucks so they can retire and enjoy life — but showbiz superstars seem to have a different agenda. GLOBE recently revealed Robert Downey Jr., a.k.a. Iron Man, had agreed to a mind-boggling $100 million deal to play Dr. Doom in two upcoming Avengers flicks. Downey’s already worth $300 million — but the 59-year-old actor isn’t the only Hollywood bigwig to keep on keepin’ on despite being wealthy — and famous beyond belief. Justin Bieber, Janet Jackson and Harrison Ford are also still scrambling after greenbacks despite having reached the pinnacle in terms of their bank accounts and career success. The most curious — and perhaps embarrassing — is 82-year-old Ford, who’s become a veritable legend…

TV TALK icon Phil Donahue took a loving secret to the grave — his second wife, Marlo Thomas, helped heal his fractured family following his painful divorce! Before the talk show pioneer died at 88 on Aug. 18 following a long illness, he praised Marlo, now 86, for saving the day following his 1975 divorce from first wife Margaret Cooney, who took custody of their daughter while leaving him to raise their four sons. “Marlo made the family whole again after it had been torn apart,” says a source. The bubbly star of the hit ’60s sitcom That Girl and daughter of TV legend Danny Thomas became close to his kids, Michael, Kevin, Daniel, Mary Rose and James, right from the start. “I decided I was not going to try…

FOR nearly 700 years, experts have argued over whether the Shroud of Turin was actually used to wrap Jesus’ body before he was buried, but now shocking new research claims the linen sheet is no hoax — and may be the real deal! First discovered in the 1350s, the linen cloth bears the imprint of a bearded man with sunken eyes, between 5-foot-7 and 6 foot and bearing wounds Jesus reportedly suffered from a crown of thorns, whipping and crucifixion. For centuries, experts have argued whether the man on the cloth is Jesus and if the sheet — 14 feet 5 inches long and 3 feet 7 inches wide — housed in the royal chapel of the cathedral of San Giovanni Battista in Turin, Italy, is Jesus’ burial shroud. In…

VANDERPUMP Rules beauty ARIANA MADIX hasn’t been speaking to younger brother JEREMY of late, but when the ice melts, she may be able to find him — in a federal prison. Jeremy could be caged for the next 30 years if found guilty of smuggling marijuana after he allegedly was caught with a suitcase packed with weed at an Orlando, Fla., airport on Feb. 16. The 32-year-old dolt wasn’t busted until last month, but cops say the dunderhead was on his way to Frankfurt, Germany, when an agent checked his black Briggs and Riley suitcase and found “a large amount of green leafy substance in vacuum sealed bags.” The 64 bags reportedly contained 76 pounds of Mary Jane. Charged with trafficking pot, Ariana’s busted bro could spend three decades behind…

CODE BREAKERS Each letter of the alphabet is represented by a number. Use the given letters to get started by filling them in throughout the puzzle. Look out for patterns like repeated letters. Codebreaker puzzles use all 26 letters of the alphabet. There are no trademarks, abbreviations, hyphenated nor foreign words on the grid. DISTRIBUTED LEDGER Mystery words clue: An online cash REFERENCE GRID MYSTERY WORDS Puzzle answers: page 46 WORD SEARCH Circle the hidden words in the grid, crossing them out in the list as you find them. Words can go horizontally, vertically, diagonally and backward. ACCENTUATING APOSTROPHE ASSERTION BACKSLASH CLAUSE COLON COMMA COMMAND CURLY BRACKETS DASH ELLIPSIS EMPHASIZING EXCLAMATION POINT GUILLEMETS HIGHLIGHTING HYPHEN INTERROBANG PARENTHESES PERIOD PHRASE QUESTION MARK SEMICOLON SENTENCE SLASH STATEMENT STRESSING SWUNG DASH SYNTACTIC UNIT…

SCREAM queen Jenna Ortega faces off against Michael Keaton’s pesky polter-geist in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice as the onscreen daughter of franchise star Winona Ryder. But the spooky comedy isn’t her only haunting perfor mance. The former Disney kid, who turns 22 on Sept. 27, did the chilling flicks X, Scream 5 and The Babysitter: Killer Queen and starred in The Addams Family TV spin-off Wednesday. Here are ten things you don’t know about the petite performer, who stands just 5-foot-1! 1 The self-proclaimed weirdo admits performing “autopsies” as a kid on lizards she found dead in her family’s backyard. 2 Her typical ice cream order involves “anything with chocolate.” 3 The first CD she ever bought was Doo-Wops & Hooligans by Bruno Mars. 4 She can’t stand the word moist. 5…

DRIVERS on a West Virginia road were hoppin’ mad after a loose kangaroo made them late getting to work. The leapin’ trespasser left a lot of the motorists with jumpy nerves and rubbing their eyeballs in disbelief as it bopped to and fro along Mud Fork Road in Verdunville. “Of all things, what is a full-grown kangaroo doing running around the streets?” wondered commuter Noah Manns, who snapped pics of the spring-legged critter. Manns says he “was driving to work, and we had five cars in front of us that stopped in the middle of the road. I was trying to look around and see what the holdup was, and when I was able to get into view, I saw a kangaroo hopping up the road.” Manns dialed a pal, who…

JITTERY Angelina Jolie is determined to nurse her ailing son Pax back to health as she ramps up her movie career and continues to tussle in court with ex Brad Pitt, according to pals who fear the rail-thin beauty is on track for a breakdown! The busy Eternals goddess, 49, is devoting substantial time to the recovery of Pax — one of the six kids she shares with Brad — after the 20-year-old sustained a traumatic brain injury on July 29 in an L.A. e-bike crash! “He’s out of the hospital and recovering at home, and she’s not relying on a big staff of medical people,” an insider confides. “She’s doing a lot of the hands-on stuff herself.” But tipsters tell GLOBE her personal anguish over Pax hasn’t softened her…

BRAZEN grifter Lisa Jeanine Findley has been busted for trying to steal Elvis Presley’s beloved Graceland Mansion out from under his family by using forged documents that claimed his late daughter, Lisa Marie, owed a $3.8 million debt on the tourist attraction, say lawmen. What makes the devious scam even more mind-blowing is Elvis’ Memphis estate still attracts 600,000 visitors a year and is worth a whopping $718 million, according to Rolling Stone magazine. Yet trickster Finley, 53, who ironically claims to be a fan of the King of Rock ’n’ Roll, nearly got the singer’s legacy auctioned off for a song, charge federal prosecutors. She faces a possible 22 years in the slammer if convicted of mail fraud and aggravated identity theft by the Justice Department, which began investigating…

NEW Wheel of Fortune host Ryan Seacrest is smarting and feeling his manhood has been slighted after ex Julianne Hough belittled their former three-year romance, and now insiders say he fears other exgalpals will spill his tightly kept secrets. “He can’t understand why she did this to him and thinks she owes him an apology,” tattles an insider. “When Ryan breaks up with someone, the one thing he counts on is discretion. He doesn’t want people scrutinizing why he’s still single at this age. “He assumes everyone’s laughing at him.” The 36-year-old former Dancing with the Stars hoofer, who’s now cohosting the show, dated the 49-year-old media mogul from 2011 to 2013, and recently said she made herself “smaller” and twisted herself into the type of gal she thought Ryan…

VERSATILE actor ANDY SERKIS grabbed the brass ring when he won the role of greedy little Gollum in the Lord of the Rings epic fantasy trilogy. Although the cringing character would be rendered through motion-captured CGI and Serkis wasn’t a voice actor, he completely altered his voice when he auditioned to play the gaunt, ring-grubbing goblin. “I wanted something that was constrictive in the throat,” he says. “Literally at that moment in time, my cat at the time who is no longer with us, Diz, walked into the kitchen and started coughing up furballs. And I was watching him, and his whole spine was kind of rippling!”…

LONELY HEART Hoda Kotb split from former fiancé Joel Schiffman more than two and a half years ago, but the Today show star is STILL single, despite all her efforts to find love again. Now the eternal optimist, 60, is making a last-ditch effort to rope Mr. Right — by hiring a professional matchmaker, sources tell GLOBE! “Her dating life is still in the pan,” spills an insider. While Hoda has steered clear of endlessly scrolling dating apps — she says she wants to avoid “weirdos” —she has been happy to be set up by friends like co-host Jenna Bush Hager. “She was convinced the best way was going on dates with guys vetted for her by friends and co-workers, but so far it hasn’t gone anywhere and now she’s…

Twice-divorced Big Bang Theory beauty KALEY CUOCO, 38, is sporting an engagement rock from lover TOM PELPHREY, 42. The big news follows bigger news last year when the beauty presented the Guiding Light actor with their daughter, MATILDA. Legendary actress and The Notebook star GENA ROWLANDS passed away at age 94. Gena played RACHEL MCADAMS’ older Alzheimer’s-stricken character. Former Boy Meets World star DANIELLE FISHEL, 43, reveals she’s battling breast cancer. “I’m having surgery to remove it and I’m going to be fine,” she tells fans. Kiss Me More singer DOJA CAT, 28, was seen holding paws and purring with Stranger Things hunk JOSEPH QUINN, 30. Five-time Olympic cyclist DANIELA LARREAL CHIRINOS, 50, was found dead in her Sin City pad. Cops say the Venezuelan choked to death on food.…

Sex makes gals live longer + SEX-STARVED gals face a greater risk of an early grave than their more lusty peers! That’s the finding of a study out of Walden University, which examined health data from over 14,000 patients. The research team found ladies who engaged in sex once a week or less had a 70 percent higher probability of dying before their time! The scientists believe increased blood flow from sexual activity may boost cardiovascular health, while feel-good endorphins may alleviate life-shortening depression. Chocolate filled with toxins + HERE’S bitter news about a sweet treat — some dark chocolates, which are often considered an antioxidant-rich, heart-healthy indulgence, contain elevated levels of toxic heavy metals! Scientists at George Washington School of Medicine analyzed 72 cocoa-based products. They determined 43 percent…

FANS of George Clooney can score a ticket to paradise — an “intimate” night on the town with their idol — as long as they can match the fierce bidding on this specialty charity auction item! The fantastic silver fox is literally selling himself to the highest bidder to benefit an initiative of the Clooney Foundation for Justice, which awards fellowships to fight inequality in sub-Saharan Africa. But if you think movie tickets are steep, chowing down with 63-year-old Clooney — who shares seven-year-old twins Ella and Alexander with 46-year-old human rights lawyer wife Amal — featured an opening minimum bid of $10,000! The press release promises the winner of the Sept. 24 auction will get George all to themselves for a cocktail and photos, followed by an “intimate dinner…

PRESIDENT Ronald Reagan had 720 bags of jelly beans sent to the White House every month. The candy stays good for a year. MICHAEL has been the most popular boy’s name for 44 of the last 100 years. Mary is the most popular handle for girls. A DOZEN cameras worth $1 million used to document man’s first exploration of the moon are still on the lunar surface. FRUITCAKE was invented by the Romans and became popular in America during the colonial era. THERE are more than 3,000 species of snakes living on every continent except Antarctica. More than 81,000 people die every year from poisonous snakebites. BAGPIPES were originally used to scare off enemies before a battle — because the noise is horrifying.…