Table of contents for 5 January 2023 in Chat

Welcome to this week’s Chat… Good egg of the week goes to David, whose daughter has him wrapped around her little finger (p30). He admits he can’t say no to her - but we think he looks fab doing it! Have you ever found yourself in an embarrassing spot thanks to your littl’un? Do write in and share! There’s loads more great stuff in this week’s Chat so I won’t keep you. Have a top week! PS If you’re entering the puzzles online, this is the link to use: comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

TRUE-LIFE Elisha, 20, Winchester A s I sat crosslegged, watching cartoons, Dad plonked himself behind me. ‘Enough telly, time for your bath, he said. Nodding meekly, I switched off the TV and headed to the bathroom. It was 2007, and, aged 5, I went to stay with my dad Russell, then 37, every other weekend. I loved our time together, watching DVDs and going out to the park. But I hated bath time. ‘Let’s get you dry,’ he said, lifting me out of the water and wrapping me in a towel. Then, instead of tucking me up in bed, Dad started to take off his own clothes. I knew what came next. Dad pulled me towards his naked body and roughly forced himself on me. I was far too young to…

Linda Philips, 58, north London Climbing into bed, I pulled the duvet over my head. Lights off, curtains shut, I couldn’t face even a sliver of light. My head pounded, my eyes ached, and there was no over-the-counter medication that could help. It was 2017,I was 53, and I’d been struggling with migraines since I was in my mid-30s. At first they were irregular and would only last a day Could come home early from work, climb into bed and feel better in the morning. But now they started coming all the time. It felt as though as soon as one ended, another started. I’d been to the doctors countless times, but advice to meditate and take paracetamol had been useless. When my migraines started to last for days on…

Amanda Baron, 37, Manchester Washing up, I hummed to the radio. ‘That was Ed Sheeran at no.l,’ the radio warbled. It was April 2021, and I’d been hooked since hearing Ed’s hit Lego House, 10 years earlier. Me and my sister saw him at the Etihad stadium in Manchester in 2017. It felt life-changing. Even my house showed what a huge Ed-head I was. From cushions to collectables, I had every bit of merch going. Even an Ed rug in my living room, and a custom splashback for my oven! And it wasn’t just his gorgeous voice I loved. ‘I’ll leave you for Ed one day,’ I joked once to a boyfriend. But how was I ever going to meet Ed Sheeran? I wasn’t going to bump into him in…

TRUE-LIFE Jo Eatock, 43, Wigan Seeing the negative pregnancy test, I took a deep breath and chucked it in the bin. Another month, another disappointment. My husband David, then 39, and I had been married 11 years and trying for a baby ever since we tied the knot. When the natural way didn’t work, docs diagnosed unexplained infertility. Since then we’d spent over £20,000 of our own money, plus monetary gifts from family, on nine rounds of IVF. I’d only fallen pregnant once, but tragically I’d lost the baby at nine weeks. So to say it’d taken its toll was an understatement. I’d cried tears by the bucketload. But every month, I patched up my broken heart, determined to keep trying. ‘I was born to be a mum,’ I’d told…

Melissa Williams, 28, Bridgend Looking at myself in the mirror, my mind started whirring as I did the maths. It was December 2019, so six months till my wedding day. I was always trying to lose weight but had ordered a size 30 wedding gown. Had to be realistic about my chances of shedding the pounds. But as much as I wanted to get married, I was dreading it. I’d been 20st, a size 22 when I first met Chris, then 24, at a friend’s house party on New Year’s Eve in 2014. I’d been big since I was a child, I was a classic comfort-eater. Any problem had me heading for the crisp cupboard. Chris didn’t mind my size. He loved me anyway. I gave birth to our son…

Indian spiced shepherd’s pie A spicy twist on a family fave combining two great dishes in one! Top tip Make with lean lamb mince if you prefer a meaty alternative. SERVES 6 PREP 10 MINS COOK 45 MINS PER SERVING (WITH QUORN MINCE): CALS 419, FAT 14G, SAT FAT 6G, CARBS 51G Colcannon risotto We’ve taken inspo from the classic Irish mash and turned it into risotto - delish! SERVES 8 PREP 10 MINS COOK 30 MINS PER…

TRUE-LIFE Denise Goldin, 77 S erving up his favourite chicken soup, I couldn’t have been prouder of my son Brett, 28. ‘I got a standing ovation!’ he grinned. ‘I’ve always known you were a star!’ I said. It was April 2006, and Brett had just performed Hamlet in Cape Town. He’d grown up wanting to be an actor, and I’d been his biggest fan since he’d performed in the school play. I’d go to see him on stage whenever I could. But this time I’d stayed back at his flat, so he could come home to a hot meal. It was just the two of us. I’d made the visit alone, leaving Brett’s dad Peter, then 64, and big sister Samantha, 31, back home in Johannesburg. During dinner, his friend Richard,…

Q I have hooded eyes - how best can I apply my eye make-up to stop it from smudging? Karen Bell, 54 A With hooded eyes, the majority of your lid is concealed by the skin that sits beneath your brow bone. So, while smudging is avoidable, you do need to rethink your eyeshadow application. Instead of wasting time on the parts of your eye that aren’t visible when your eyes are open (and more prone to smudging), focus on the bits that are - like the space below your brow and your lower lashline. Start with an eyeshadow primer to give your shadow something to grip to - we like Milani Eyeshadow Primer, £10, Superdrug, for creating a nice clear canvas. Take it far and wide, covering anywhere you’ll…

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Will her birthmark fade? Q My daughter has a purple port wine stain on her face. My GP mentioned laser treatment, but could it fade naturally? Pippa, Southampton A Some types of birthmark do disappear on their own but a port wine stain is present at birth and is permanent. It’s a flat, purple or red patch of skin, often on the face or neck. They’re quite common, with around one person in 300 having one. Rarely, stains on the top part of the face can be a sign of other diseases such as a form of epilepsy. Your GP will arrange checks if there’s any doubt. Otherwise, treatment means either cosmetic camouflage cream, which can give an excellent appearance and is on prescription once you’ve been shown how to apply…

Q We have a good sex life, but my partner’s had affairs and he still watches porn. Could he be a sex addict? Mel, Wombwell A Some experts say that, unlike drugs or alcohol, it’s impossible to be physically addicted to sex. Others think that sex addiction is real because it’s a behaviour which is out of control and which, like other addictions, the addict carries on despite knowing that it’s damaging or destroying their life, work or relationships. Besides sex, addiction might involve pornography, masturbation or chat lines. The behaviour often seems to arise from an urge to overwhelm negative feelings such as guilt, inadequacy or depression with the temporary high of sex, but as with any addiction, the high doesn’t last. Specialist counselling and support groups can help…

Cindy Craig, 58, Ballycastle, County Antrim Broad shoulders, a cheeky smile, hair just like Simon Le Bon… phwoar! It was 1979, I was 15 and my friend had just set me up on a blind date at a local disco with a boy she knew. I hadn’t been too sure. But now I was here and had seen Noel Craig, then 17, for myself, I was glad I’d come along. He was gorgeous! We spent the night dancing to the Pretenders and as our nerves faded, we joked and laughed. Noel had a wicked sense of humour. And when he drove me home on his motorbike, I clung to his waist and felt just like Sandy from Grease! For the next 18 months, we danced, went on picnics - and…

Sister’s not coping Q My sister got divorced four years ago, and she isn’t coping. Things got worse last month when her son accepted a job at her ex-husband’s company. He is part of his new family and hardly sees her at all. She’s worked hard to look after her boy since her ex left but has had to resort to taking tranquillisers. How can I help her other than being a shoulder to cry on? Lina, 56 A The fact she’s on tranquillisers shows she’s reached out to a doctor, which is a good start. As for what you can do simply give her time. Listen without judgement and let her know you’re there for her. It would be helpful if you invited her and her son over to…

When I lost my daughter Louise, I wasn’t interested in meeting Denise. Didn’t want advice, people telling me that everything would be OK. All I wanted was to be left alone, to have my daughter back. No words could change what had happened. But meeting Denise was the first time I felt heard, understood. ‘I know what you’re going through,’ she said. Her support helped, and gave me a bit of strength to get through the dark times. Denise and I formed a strong bond, and are friends to this day. She’s my constant, my go-to. People say time is a healer, but over the years, it only gets harder. Losing Louise was a living nightmare; there’s nothing else I fear in life now. Together, Denise and I are part…

HOLLY KERRIGAN, 40, FROM COVENTRY, SAYS: I When it comes to charity fundraisers, Margaret Kite BEM is flying high. Margaret can be found out fundraising almost every day, and is a well-known face across Warwick, Leamington Spa and her home town of Kenilworth. She tirelessly raises money for The Myton Hospices, as well as Guide Dogs, the RNLI, the Royal British Legion Poppy Appeal and Young Lives Vs Cancer, to name just a few. Over the past 30 years, Margaret has raised hundreds of thousands of pounds. Back out with her bucket after the lockdowns, Margaret is still going strong collecting at supermarkets in her area. She was even awarded the British Empire Medal in 2017 for her dedication to fundraising, and a local guide dog was named Kite in…

YOU’RE THE JUDGE! TRUE-LIFE Arriving at summer camp in August 1998,11-yearold Nicky Verstappen was introduced to his bunkmates. The excited group of boys quickly nicknamed themselves the Nightriders. Each claiming a spot in their tent. For the boys, the summer of fun, away from their parents, stretched ahead. There’d be adventure games, campfires, ghost stories… They spent the next two days playing games with the other young campers. Enjoying the teambuilding activities at the idyllic nature reserve close to the German border in the Netherlands. As the sun rose at 6am on 10 August, the children awoke one by one. Only, someone was missing from the Nightriders’ tent. Nicky Verstappen. Frantic search Nicky’s bunkmates assumed he’d gone to the loo. One of them had been to the toilet themselves at 5am…

Q My kids have threadworms. I’ve seen them wriggling around their bottoms and it freaked me out! Trish, Tenby A Threadworms look like fragments of white thread, hence the name. Around one-third of children aged seven to 11 have them at some stage, although it’s rare to see the worms, as they live inside the bowel, only coming out at night to lay their eggs around the anus. This explains why the main symptom, an itchy bottom, happens at night. Scratching then traps eggs under the child’s fingernails, the eggs find their way into someone else’s mouth through playing or food and the cycle continues. Prevent this with regular bottom washing, keeping fingernails short and wearing knickers in bed to stop scratching. Worm medicine should get rid of them, but it’s…

1 Select the right moment ‘It’s unrealistic to try and solve all your problems before committing to anything,’ says Dr Frank Ryan, author of Willpower for Dummies. ‘But it’s a good idea to eliminate as much stress as possible before you start a diet or fitness regime.’ This will give you the headspace to focus on what you’re trying to achieve. 2 Get organised Trying to eat more healthily? Prepare or at least plan your meals for the week ahead on a Sunday - that way you’ll be much less likely to order a takeaway or grab quick, unhealthy snacks when you get tired. By taking small steps and turning changes into habits that stick, you remove the need for willpower. 3 Make it worthwhile Before setting a goal, ask yourself…

Break the rules Vow to lighten up this year. Instead of sticking to the same old, dull rules, embrace your inner rebel! So let the kids stay up past their bedtime some nights, and tuck into a dessert before the main course. Life’s too short. Embrace your inner child Kids know how to have fun! They don’t hold back when it comes to treating themselves to sugary snacks, or swinging as high as they can in the playground. They embrace life and can teach us adults a thing or two about living in the moment. So eat that doughnut, splash in those puddles. Connect with the kid inside! Have a clear-out Get rid of clothes in your wardrobe that make you miserable. Those jeans that haven’t fit you since you…

truly Chat! Lots of mums and their grown-up daughters like spending time together. Perhaps having a catch-up over a coffee or a giggle over a boozy brunch. But mum and daughter Ginger and Amber bring a whole new meaning to family time. ‘I was a teacher in my 20s then a software executive in the advertising industry. It was tough juggling a career with being a single mum,’ Ginger says. ‘So I decided to retire and become an online content creator!’ Ginger signed up to OnlyFans, the website famous for allowing everyday people to share risqué photos for a subscription fee. Ginger quickly built up a loyal following posting saucy lingerie and naked pictures of herself online. Soon she was making more than six figures some months, and Amber was…

30 Dec 2022-5 Jan 2023 Aries 21 March-20 April Someone you meet on your travels could turn out to be very important. Your attitude and upbeat nature will open the doors to all sorts of possibilities. Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May The new year encourages you to build on your career, plans can become reality. The more you hold onto your vision, the more likely it will come true. Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June You might be thinking of selling a house and moving nearer family. The new year brings a fresh you, more family-oriented and ready to make important decisions. Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer An upcoming event may lead to a chance encounter with a unique…

BEHIND THE BIG CRIME TRUE-LIFE With a wink, an animated bull in a red and white striped top threw a dart and hit the bullseye. ‘Nothing beats a bit of Bully!’ TV presenter Jim Bowen said, sauntering on screen to applause. It was May 1989, and Bullseye was one of the most popular shows on television in the UK. Combining general knowledge with the skill of playing darts, contestants competed to win cash and prizes, such as a speedboat or a new car. Welcoming this week’s hopefuls, the presenter introduced John Cooper, a married father-of-two from Pembrokeshire, in Wales. ‘You’ve got an unusual hobby, John, haven’t you?’ Bowen asked. ‘Oh yes, the scuba diving…’John replied. He described the beautiful Welsh coastline in detail. ‘We’ve got deep water where you can swim…