Innehållsförteckning för April 2017 från FourFourTwo UK

Here are some of the questions we asked ourselves during the making of this issue: how do you get a dog to pose for the camera? What’s the German word for space hopper? Why is it so hard to get a proper birthday cake in Bavaria? And, of course, who’s the best young player in the world? We didn’t have to go far to find the answer to this final question. In the 12 months since we last chatted to Dele Alli, the Spurs midfielder has gone from being the hottest prospect in England to the most talked about young player in the world. Not that it’s all been plain sailing for him. In his interview, Dele talks about the pain of missing out on the title, being ‘targeted’ by…

“HENRY’SHANDBALL? IR I WAS DISTRAUGHT.BUT IF IT U HADBEENATTHEOTHEREND, O I WOULD HAVE DONE IT AS WELL” FA CLUBS 1996-2003 Blackburn2003-06 Chelsea2006-09 Newcastle2009-14 Fulham2014-15 Melbourne City2015 Shamrock Rovers COUNTRY 1998-2012 Republic of Ireland It’s still an hour before we’re due to interview Damien Duff in Dublin city centre, so FFT head for a quiet coffee a few blocks away – only for the man himself to bound through the door. “I see you’ve found the good coffee shop, then!” Duff laughs at this chance meeting. Soon, we’re on our way to our planned rendezvous point, Hogan’s pub. “I’ve never really been one for doing interviews – I’m doing this because it’s FourFourTwo and no other reason,” says the 37-year-old, now retired. “I’ve read the magazine since…

“WINNING AT WEMBLEY, THE TEMPLE OF FOOTBALL. THAT GAME WAS A TURNING POINT IN MY CAREER WITH THE ITALIAN TEAM” Inter 0 Milan 1 December 20, 1987 Serie A “My first start for Milan was in the derby! We won with an own goal from Riccardo Ferri. I was very lucky, though – in the second half I made a mistake, but the linesman wrongly disallowed the goal for offside. Who knows how that call could have changed my whole career?” Steaua Bucharest 0 Milan 4 May 24, 1989 European Cup final “That final was the perfect game. Even though we were in Barcelona, it was as if we were playing at home – the Camp Nou was full of Milan supporters. It was my first-ever European Cup final and…

Eighteen months ago Jan Krivak was a lorry driver; now he’s a centre-back with a Slovakia cap. The 23-year-old started his playing days in the Slovakian lower leagues with Vranov nad Topl’ou and an international career wasn’t looking likely in 2015, when he signed for amateur club Ferschnitz in the Austrian sixth tier. It was then that Krivak hit the road to help pay the bills. “Me and my friend decided we wanted to earn a bit of extra money by driving trucks,” Krivak tells FFT. “I was a delivery driver of auto parts in the Linz area.” However, Jan was steering his football career back in the right direction and soon he returned to Slovakia, signing for the top-division side Podbrezova. His good form earned him an international debut…

Above Head Height: A Five-A-Side Life James Brown (Quercus, £16.99) The unexpected death of five-a-side buddy James Kyllo inspired James Brown, former editor of magazines Loaded and NME, to write this engaging account of his many midweek memories in football’s version of ‘sporting karaoke’. With his network of high-profile contacts, Brown expressses his surprise at finding out famous actor Woody Harrelson agreed to turn out for his team while he was away on holiday, recounts seeing ex-Aston Villa stars Andy Townsend, Steve Staunton and Dean Saunders play headers and volleys, and tells of Blackburn duo Alan Shearer and David Batty throwing the contents of meat pies at a coach driver. Yet the constant in Brown’s life remains his regular kickabout with his friends. The players’ pre-match tribute to Kyllo after…

Hell hath no fury like a woman who’s just seen her husband sent off for giving Robin van Persie a ‘nasty’ headbutt. Besiktas’ Dusko Tosic was given his marching orders in the Istanbul derby against Fenerbahce after Van Persie hit the ground rather theatrically. Tosic’s wife, Serbian singer Jelena Karleusa, took to Twitter to call the former Manchester United man a ‘stupid motherf**ker’, urging him to ‘break a leg, a**hole’. Lovely lass. Van Persie further angered Besiktas by scoring the winner and celebrating the goal in front of his ex-Arsenal colleague and former friend Oguzhan Ozyakup, who’d sledged him earlier in the match. Fanning the flames, Fenerbahce then put T-shirts of RVP’s goal celebration on sale in the club shop. “The T-shirts have almost sold out – I’ve ordered two…

Gold Standard Helps Standard Liege, with Steven Defour, Marouane Fellaini and Axel Witsel, to win the Belgian title for the first time in 25 years, losing once in the 2007-08 campaign. Wembley winner Starts in defence as Bayern Munich beat Borussia Dortmund to win the 2013 Champions League Final at Wembley – one of nine trophies he’ll win with the Bavarian club. National star Makes his Brazil debut at the age of 29, then scores his first goal for the Selecao as they beat Italy 4-2 en route to 2013 Confederations Cup glory in their home country.…

There’s not much Ademola Lookman hasn’t seen during his embryonic football career. Relegation, six managers, fan protests, flying pigs, a big-money move and a goal on his Premier League debut – all this inside three years. Since Charlton Athletic plucked him from the muck and nettles of Sunday League football, the 19-year-old has been the star of his own soap opera. The latest twist from his unconventional tale took him to Everton at the start of the year in a deal worth £11 million, but now he’s about to face his biggest challenge yet – posing with an ice lolly inside a dressing room at the Toffees’ training ground. FourFourTwo’s photographer hands him the Rocket and says, “Have fun with it.” He pauses for a second, looking confused. “I’ve never…

MAROONED ON THE LINE Outfield players are often a fish out of water when they have to go in goal, so they usually just stay on their line. You may feel vulnerable coming away from your goalmouth, but a forward has far less chance of scoring if you can get out to him and close down the ball. LACK OF DECISION-MAKING A novice does not know when to punch or catch. In fairness, the advice changes – we always used to try to catch it – but the important thing now is being decisive. Decide what you are going to try to do and commit to it, otherwise you will be stuck in two minds and make a mistake. NON-EXISTENT FOOTWORK Inexperienced goalkeepers often find themselves rooted to the spot,…

An outfield player in goal always looks a shambles. Their standard shorts always clash with the vile and luminescent custodian’s top, which somehow suits their regular occupant. And they simply never tuck the thing in properly. Maybe once you have finally got those gloves on, it’s tricky to pull off the fine art of tucking? More likely, though, it highlights the keeper’s psyche, compared to an outfield imposter when they have to go in goal. A keeper’s ‘admin’ must be 100 per cent spot on: just consider the curious private kingdom of the goalkeeper’s glovebag, with its assortment of tapes, gels, chisels and spirit levels (we assume). And then think about the psychological torture – dubbed jelly-fingered and a bunglesplash as you happened to make one…

BOWLED OVER Legendary wing-half Scot Symon won 16 titles as player and manager at Rangers. And he also holds the honour for best-ever bowling performance from a Scot against Australia, taking five wickets for a mere 33 runs in 1938. Howzat! OUTS AND INS In the 1971-72 Cup Winners’ Cup second round, Gers missed all of their spot-kicks in a shootout against Sporting Lisbon, but they still advanced because the referee had forgotten that away goals counted during extra time. CARD GAMES Referee Dougie Smith did not see the funny side when he booked Paul Gascoigne in the Gers’ 7-0 win against Hibernian in 1995. Gazza’s crime? Flashing Smith the card he’d just dropped. RECORD BREAKER After securing their ninth successive title in 1997 – equalling a record set by…

West Germany 1988-91 kit Who doesn’t like chevrons? Not us, when they look this good. An absolute triumph of late ’80s style and substance. I.D. Football films don’t tend to amount to a great deal, but by keeping the action to a minimum and focusing on police officers’ attempts to infiltrate Shadwell Town’s hooligans, this 1995 Phil Davis movie hits the mark. Head Over Heels In Love The perm, the open shirt, the backlit front cover: Kevin Keegan’s debut single in 1979 is a masterpiece. The actual song? Er, well, let’s say it is worthy of peaking at No.31.…

Age 24 Height 5ft 9in Birthplace Warrington Schoolboy club Fletcher Moss Rangers – the same side that produced fellow United forwards Marcus Rashford & Danny Welbeck. Man United debut He started the 2-1 loss to Swansea in 2014, but had to come off injured after 24 minutes. First United goal Scored the opener in a 2-0 victory at home to West Brom in November 2015. England debut Started England’s 2-0 win at home to Malta last October. Favourite trick “I love a nutmeg, but I’ve also been done by one this season.”…

v Brede Hangeland The ex-Crystal Palace defender named the laziest colleagues he ever played with in a hilarious interview. v Essam El-Hadary At 44, he’s still Egypt’s No.1 keeper. We want to know what he likes to have for breakfast. v Kefir A study says that the fermented drink can boost gut health and help conditions such as lactose intolerance. Sin-bins Football law-makers IFAB are considering introducing sin-bins for bookable offences Sorry, this isn’t rugby. Championship transfer fees Wolves splashed out £13 million on Helder Costa and Aston Villa parted with £12m for Scott Hogan. Pricey. Daniel Sturridge The Liverpool striker was pictured posing with rapper Drake days after another abject performance.…

HE ANSWERS Pierre van Hooijdonk Former Netherlands free-kick specialist “I’d hit free-kicks with my instep on the top half of the ball to make it curl. The technique is like hitting a topspin lob in tennis – your foot needs to finish high so the ball goes over the wall. The key is hitting it harder with more risk. A few will fly over the bar, but use your instep and accuracy will come. Watch Willian and Hakan Calhanoglu – they have similar techniques to me!”…

BEAT THEM With the skills to pay the bills, you’ve always got your opponent’s number, beating them with either a bit of trickery or just outright speed. NIKE MERCURIAL SUPERFLY V SG QR: 150122 - £250 ADIDAS X 16+ PURECHAOS FG QR: 144613 - £230 CONCAVE VOLT+ FG QR: 141935 - £140 FINISH THEM You’ve got ice running through your veins and when you’re through on goal there’s no doubt where the ball is ending up – back of the net! NIKE HYPERVENOM PHANTOM 3 FG QR: 150204 - £190 NB FURON 2.0 PRO SG QR: 142613 - £155 NIKE HYPERVENOM PHANTOM 3 FG QR: 150095 - £190 BOSS THEM You’re the leader on the pitch, taking control for your team and influencing the game with your ability on the…

Shamil Tanna: Lifelong Liverpool fan and long-time FFT snapper Sham had his hands full during this month’s cover shoot. “Trying to get Dele’s dog, Hugo, to look at the camera involved a broom, a stuffed toy and loads of doggy treats! We got there in the end.” Andrew Murray: Our staff writer nearly missed his date with Bayern Munich birthday boy Joshua Kimmich. “He was there 45 minutes early, ready to go. Just as well that we brought a cake with us and then sang him Happy Birthday to make up for it.” Vanessa Leissring: The BVB supporter was in her element among Dortmund’s young guns. “I’m a sportswoman myself, so I loved shooting the stars of my local club. The energy was high and the players had fun acting…

1 ADAM LA-LLAMA USA Nashville First prize for the weirdest tattoo of the month goes to Adam Lallana’s biggest supporter, American Andreah De La Hoz. The Liverpool fanatic wasn’t content with just getting a massive tattoo of Lallana’s face inked on her thigh (and that would’ve been weird already). Oh no, she cleverly realised that his name sounds a bit like llama, so asked the tattooist to depict the England ace as a South American camelid. Yeah, that’ll definitely still seem funny in 20 years. 2 SIGNS TUESDAY, LEAVES WEDNESDAY Spain Madrid Roman Zozulya joined Rayo Vallecano on loan from Betis on deadline day, only for the fans to protest at his first training session. The reason? A picture of him with guns and a controversial battalion of the Ukrainian…

Braga’s Portuguese league encounter with Estoril had not even kicked off, but the home team had reason to celebrate. After all, it’s difficult to catch a chicken. Flying winger Pedro Santos finally got to grips with the black chicken after Braga’s fans had unleashed a bird onto the field for the second time in as many months. This was not some sort of angry protest by Braga supporters, Blackburn style, but a hopeful attempt to somehow inspire their men to victory – black chickens are thought to be lucky charms in Portugal. ‘’Braga were awful,” says supporter Jorge Sequeira. “Someone suggested this idea, which was a mixture of a joke and tradition. Boavista’s supporters had also tried out the same thing recently. Perhaps, it’s time we substituted scarves for black…

Luan CLUB Gremio POSITION Forward VALUE £25m FOOT R HEIGHT 1.8m NATION BRA AGE 23 TECHNICAL Forget all about Neymar. If there was a man who changed the fortunes of Brazil from another home disaster to Olympic gold medallists, it was Luan. The forward has become the Selecao’s best false nine, dropping into the midfield and bringing defenders higher up the pitch. Brazil’s under-23 team became far more fluid with him, as did Gremio when they won the Copa do Brasil last season. He’s probably the closest a footballer will ever be to a futsal player: he’s everywhere on the field and happy to set up goals as well as net them, although he’s not prolific – yet. MENTAL Luan turned up for training with Gremio and watched the supporters…

“I GUESS YOU DON’T GET MUCH BACK FROM A BUDGIE. UNLESS YOU’RE A BIT KINKY” Hi Matt. You were a labourer before becoming a footballer. What was the best thing that you ever constructed? Hi mate. The sturdiest thing that I ever managed was probably a tent! I did do the occasional extension that may still be standing now, but I wasn’t a great builder. Luckily the football rescued me. Could you still knock out a decent wall tomorrow, if we asked you to? No. The cement would be OK but the wall would be a shoddy affair, a rickety old shack. The secret to being a good builder is knowing when the gaffer isn’t around and having an immediate tea break. I wasn’t keen on the industry. In a…

@salorondon23 A pleasure to feature in FourFourTwo’s South American special. The interview was great fun! @liamgallagher Get in there BURNLEY LG X @richardosman We should probably just let N’Golo Kante run the country @mexicoworldcup Good atmosphere outside the stadium in Las Vegas ahead of Mexico vs Iceland @BolognaFC1909en 72’ OK come on now, we’ve had enough. Hamsik with a screamer for his hat-trick. You can take him off now #BFCNapoli 1-6 #EnoughOfThat @GaryLineker Chuffed to say that despite official viewing figures and press reports to the contrary, 73 million people watched Match of the Day, period…

HOW DID YOU END UP STARTING IN GOAL? In the previous game match at Coventry, our No.1 Peter Bonetti ruptured his spleen so I’d gone in goal. We did have two more keepers: John Phillips got out of bed on the morning of the Ipswich game and slipped a disc in his back and Steve Sherwood had gone home for Christmas up north – there was a mad rush to get him back for kick-off. The Ipswich boss, Bobby Robson, agreed we could put in two team-sheets – one with me in goal and one with Steve, in case he made it back in time. However, when Steve finally arrived [just before kick-off] Robson said we had to stick with the team with me in goal. DID YOU GET ANY…

Everyone loves it when an outfield player has to go in goal. The reverse situation, a keeper playing outfield, is rarer and perhaps more enjoyable. The rarity is due to the circumstance: a goalkeeper being sent off is a fairly common occurrence, but a situation that requires a stopper to suddenly leave his penalty area involves a far more complex set of circumstances. It happened last summer, though. In a friendly at Huddersfield, Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool were forced to play 18-year-old keeper Shamal George in attack for 30 minutes. Lucas went off with an injury and the Reds had used up all of their outfield replacements. The Wirral-born youngster played just off Danny Ings and did a pretty decent job. He even scored a cheeky lob, only to see the…

GOALS GALORE For the first time since 1931-32, all four divisional champions net more than 100 goals. Third Division North winners Derby rack up 111, while Ted Phillips (above) nets a club-record 46 as southern victors Ipswich seal top spot under manager Alf Ramsey. THE MAGICAL TRIO Without a Scudetto win since 1952, Juventus president Umberto Agnelli breaks the world transfer record when he agrees to pay River Plate £93,000 for striker Omar Sivori in May. He is joined by Leeds forward John Charles, the pair linking up with Giampiero Boniperti to form the ‘Magical Trio’. Three Serie A titles and two Italian Cups in four seasons follow. THAT’S SOME CHEEK Aston Villa winger Peter McParland’s collision with Ray Wood in May’s FA Cup final leaves the Manchester United keeper…

“After months of hard fighting, the final battle for the championship was left to be fought out by 11 doughty Prestonians and equally doughty footballers from West Bromwich. The champions were encouraged by the support of their admirers, who had come up in trains to give them all a hand. Every charge, pass and run, fine bit of dribbling and shot at goal was the signal for a deafening roar. The men seemed to be as ready with their heads as their feet, and they never scrupled to receive the leather projectile on their cranium if an advantage was there to be gained. The ‘Brummies’ at last got a goal – this only made the Prestonians play up more fiercely, and their endeavours were rewarded. Then came the tug of…

CHOCOLATE MILK Working out would be a lot more fun if we could down a pint of lager after a workout, wouldn’t it? Well, modern science is unlikely to suggest we do that anytime soon. However, several experts have backed chocolate milk as a suitable recovery drink. A 2012 study published in the Medicine and Sport Journal revealed a low-fat version of this tasty treat contains a 4:1 carbohydrate to protein ratio. This is the same composition found in many recovery drinks. The same study also found it to be very high in sodium, which aids recuperation. They advised consuming it within two hours of exercise to replenish the body’s glycogen stores. Lovely. 1 “Chocolate milk is cheaper than many branded recovery drinks, but the ingredients can be of poor…

G-FORM PRO-S ELITE Shin pads don’t have to be clunky these days. Weighing in at just 50g, this pair slip on like a sock but they still pack a firm punch in the tackle. Cost: £65 Buy: g-form.com/soccer NIKE MERCURIAL LITE CR7 These come with a fully-breathable sleeve for maximum comfort. If they are good enough for Cristiano Ronaldo, then they’re good enough for us, too. Cost: £14 Buy: prodirectsoccer.com RDX SHIN PADS If you like crunching tackles, try these brace protection guards. Designed for combat sports, they’re lightweight and use foam padding for shock absorption. Cost: £18 Buy: rdxsports.co.uk…

Some players are likened to a fine wine in the way they get better with age. Gianluigi Buffon, though, now in his 23rd year of professional football, is more like a timeless work of art. The more you see him play, the more you appreciate his quality. He’s been a permanent fixture in the Italy and Juventus sides for more than a decade, making countless spectacular saves in his immediately recognisable PUMA gloves. “I’ve worn PUMA for many years, and the new glove fits me perfectly. The front of the palm moulds to the shape of my hand very quickly, so I don’t need to wear them in training before using them in matches. They’re comfortable straight away, which is a great advantage over other gloves.” Gianluigi Buffon wears the…

Liverpool vs Arsenal March 4 Goals are likely at Anfield: the last two matches between the clubs have produced 13 of them Huddersfield vs Newcastle March 4 Teatime kick-off as two automatic promotion chasers go head-to-head in the Championship Celtic vs Rangers March 12 The fourth Old Firm meeting of the season: Celtic have won the previous three matches Monaco vs Man City March 15 Champions League last 16, second leg – will the Stade Louis II actually be full for this one? Germany vs England March 22 England won 3-2 in Germany last year: now there’s a rematch in a friendly in Dortmund Uruguay vs Brazil March 23 World Cup qualifying in Montevideo, as second plays first in the current CONMEBOL standings…

As a jobbing plumber in Glasgow, Garry Whyte spends more time in toilets than most, so it’s a wee bit ironic that he’s now a local celeb for not using one. The scene: a vital West of Scotland Super League clash against Shotts Bon Accord, 20 minutes left, and Shettleston Juniors’ number one suddenly needs to go for, er, a number one. “I said to one of the linesmen, ‘I need the toilet!’ and he totally blanked me,” Whyte tells FFT. “Behind my goal is a wall. I went over that, raced into some grass and had a pee. Then the ref sends me off, saying, ‘I cannae believe you have just done that.’” Shettleston did end up winning so their gaffer saw the funny side, as did everyone else.…

MALMO Thelma Ernst Customer service advisor, 21 Markus Rosenberg Swedish striker, 34 Q: In which year did Malmo reach the European Cup final? TE: May 1979 – extra marks for the month?! ✓ MR: It was 1979. I can’t get that one wrong. ✓ 1-1 Q: Who did Malmo beat to qualify for the group stage of the 2015-16 Champions League? TE: Celtic. Magnificent. ✓ MR: It was Celtic. ✓ 2-2 Q: Who scored two hat-tricks in Malmo’s 2016 title success? TE: That was Vidar Orn Kjartansson. ✓ MR: Kjartansson – he wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t get that! ✓ 3-3 Q: When did Malmo last win the Swedish Cup? TE: I think it was 1988. ✘ MR: I’ll go for 1989. ✓ 4-3 Player wins…

ATHLETIC BILBAO DOUDOU DOLL If you really want to have nightmares, head down to Athletic Bilbao’s shop at the new San Mames and buy yourself an official club doll. We don’t know if it’s actually meant to be terrifying. In fact, we’re pretty sure that wasn’t the idea, but there’s something about Doudou’s cold, dead eyes that definitely creeps FFT out. A non-smiling version of the doll was also previously available – it’s currently out of stock – but it was no less scary, to be honest. Smiling Doudou is yours for just €19.…

“I WOULDN’T SAY LEICESTER HAVE BEEN OUR INSPIRATION. THEY HAD SOME EXPERIENCED PLAYERS, BUT OUR SQUAD’S FULL OF YOUNG ONES” Why did you decide to leave Wolfsburg last summer and join up with Ligue 1 club Nice? I’d been playing in Germany for eight seasons, so I thought it was time to discover new things. I’m always looking for new challenges. There was also the chance of playing for Lucien Favre again, and I’d enjoyed working with him at Monchengladbach. He’s open-minded and he lets you discuss things in training. I feel like I am the coach’s man on the field! [Laughs] I wanted to lead this young group and maybe chase the title. It reminds me of the atmosphere we had at Standard Liege in 2007-08. That young side…

MANAGERS BLAME THE REF OR BEMOAN AN IMAGINARY FOUL, ALL TO OFFER WHAT TRUMP SEES AS ALTERNATIVE FACTS Donald Trump’s trick is a good one. So good, in fact, that he decided to unveil it early, like a band starting off a brand new album with the catchiest song. A few days before he became the 45th President of the United States of America, the tangerine-tinted former WWE star gave a press conference. He was, as he always seems to be, in belligerent mood, particularly towards those outlets he feels have not given him a fair hearing. CNN, the television news channel, got a particularly hard time. “Not you,” the soon-to-be leader of the free world said to the station’s reporter, when he had raised his hand in an attempt…

SPAIN NEXT, PLEASE I really enjoyed reading all of the South America special. Spanish special next, please. It would be an interesting read. James Wilbourne SCRAP CUP REPLAYS FA Cup replays shouldn’t happen, as it makes the odds of an upset really low. Just go to extra time and penalties instead. Henry Wadsworth CHINA ON THE RISE Limiting Chinese clubs to only three foreign players could make the division competitive. No club can buy a team full of stars. Josh Jones SHIFT OF POWER With clubs having reader such huge budgets, has the Champions League figure now eclipsed the World. Cup in terms of importance? Gus Goulding US FANBASE IS HUGE More , more so people are watching soccer here in the US. Top European teams should have more pre-season…

Kasper Dolberg Age 19 Club Ajax Country Denmark The dynamic forward is enjoying a stunning season at Ajax, who have nurtured great Danes over the years. Paulo Dybala Age 23 Club Juventus Country Argentina Versatile and full of confidence, Dybala is considered one of the best strikers in Serie A but he is yet to break into the national team. Marcus Rashford Age 19 Club Man United Country England Enjoyed a fine spell under Louis van Gaal in 2015-16. Progress has decelerated a tad under Jose Mourinho. Renato Sanches Age 19 Club Bayern Munich Country Portugal The best young player at Euro 2016. He had a terrific season with Benfica, but having to bide time with Bayern. Saul Niguez Age 22 Club Atletico Country Spain…

A HAT-TRICK AGAINST THREE DIFFERENT KEEPERS? HOW DID THAT COME ABOUT? To be honest, I had no idea I had scored past three different keepers until a local journalist told me after the game – now I probably get asked about that hat-trick more than anything else that happened in my career! It was just a perfect storm. Newcastle started with Martin Thomas – an actual goalkeeper – in goal, but he must have started the game carrying some kind of injury. It was back in the days when teams were only allowed to have one outfield substitute – so Newcastle were always up against it. TELL US ABOUT YOUR GOALS, THEN... My first goal was a little tap-in. Thomas had to go off at half-time and the goals then…

In 1976, legendary Bayern Munich goalkeeper Sepp Maier realised a lifetime goal. No, it wasn’t winning a third successive European Cup against Saint-Etienne in May, but welcoming Hollywood great Charlton Heston to his tennis academy on the western outskirts of Munich four months later. In town to promote his new film Battle of Midway, the Oscar-winning star from Ben-Hur and Planet of the Apes enjoyed over-the-net beers with Maier. New glasses, please!…

Who? The barrel-chested Manchester City and England striker won six major honours at Maine Road and was infamous for winning and scoring penalties: ‘Lee Won Pen’ netted a record 15 in ’71-72. He won another title at Derby, and in 1975 had an endless fight with Leeds’ Norman Hunter that went on as the disgraced duo left the playing field. Well that’s setting a crap example... Funny you should say that, as Lee became a millionaire through his business in toilet tissue, and he even once hired and fired comedian Peter Kay. In 1994, he took over as the City chairman. Were City flushed with success, then? Hardly, and not even any good on paper... Relegated under Alan Ball in 1996, the bum rush continued with five managers during demotion…

1 CHELSEA 1905-52 Nothing says, ‘Here, have the three points’ more than a wheezing octogenarian. One of Ted Drake’s first acts as the Blues’ new boss in 1952 was to ditch the pound-shop Picasso pensioner crest. Chelsea won the league title – their first trophy – three years later. 2 HUDDERSFIELD TOWN 1969-75 As Half Man Half Biscuit claimed, even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch. But on a badge? OK, you’re the Terriers – since 1969 at least – but this a) is boss-eyed and b) looks snuffly. 3 CHESTER CITY 1973-83 Charming? Yes. Appropriate, given Chester’s then Sealand Road home, nickname and nearby zoo? Certainly. However, this literal effort from the Blues suggests that the brand meeting might have gone a bit…

 You’ve played in so many different positions for Manchester United. Which role suits you the best? “I have always admired Andres Iniesta. I watch a lot of videos of him and want to add parts of his game to mine” I think for now, playing on the wing and cutting inside – that’s where I’ll continue to play. However, over the next few years I would really like to become a No.10. I have played there a few times for England and United and that’s my natural position. But while I’m still growing, playing out wide is good for my development. Former Manchester United coach Rene Meulensteen compared you to Andres Iniesta a few years ago – what was your reaction to that? I’ve always admired Andres Iniesta – the…

Unless you’re a Sunday League Santi Cazorla, your weaker foot is probably useless for anything other than standing on. But AFC Wimbledon’s academy have devised a clever method to make players two-footed. Their starlets have been donning odd socks, and it’s not because the kitman keeps getting muddled up. Players wear an odd white sock at training and a yellow one in games, identifying the weak foot. Opposing players then make them use their weak side and improve the ability with both feet. Once a coach is satisfied a player is ambidextrous, he gets a prize... a second blue sock. Academy coach, Jeremy Sauer tells FFT: “A player can’t access all of the decisions available in a game if he is not able to utilise his weaker foot to a…

STEVE FINNAN “He was one of the most underrated players I have ever played with. He never gave the ball away and you could get the ball up to him at any height, under any amount of pressure, and he would always be calm and then find his way out of trouble. He was a great crosser, he was physical in the challenge and the best thing about him was that he worked his whole way up through all of the leagues to get where he did.” LEE BOWYER “There are only a couple of players I know who could make box-to-box runs but also sneak into certain positions where they weren’t picked up and score goals – Lee was one of them. He would make that run 1,000 times…