Table of contents for May 2020 in Womankind

Some of us have been conditioned to think that creating beautiful spaces, such as gardens and living rooms, is a form of hedonism, a frivolous pursuit of the privileged with little other meaningful activities to occupy their time. But a new field of research, called neuroaesthethics, is delving into the science of why we create beautiful spaces, adorn ourselves with beautiful things, and how it affects us mentally. Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard thought we pass through three stages on the way to becoming a true self, and the first stage was the aesthetic. We live the aesthetic life by seeking out beauty and pleasure in our day-to-day life. While a painting of a horse grazing in a field may flood one person with a feeling of nostalgia, it may leave…

You were born in Bali, Indonesia. You must have noticed Bali change over the years from tourism. How has tourism changed Bali?  Bali has changed from an agricultural society with many cultural traditions, to pursuing this idea that prosperity depends on how many planes land on the island. Our land has shifted from productive farming into villas and resorts. Of course, it is beneficial for some Balinese people such as business owners, but not for all workers and labourers. From a creative standpoint, artists can become complacent within this comfort zone; there’s a lack of innovation, critical thinking, and art becomes repetitive, and mostly about following trends. The Balinese art scene seems to be trapped in its own ‘image’, and for many decades it has hardly developed. Please tell us…

You can’t tell a worrier to stop worrying. You can’t say to them, “Be mindful of your thoughts. Let them in, and then gently let them go.” It’s not that simple. Worriers will tell you that they have no control over their worried minds. “It’s hereditary,” they say. “It’s an ingrained habit. It’s part of my make-up. I worry a lot. Worry,” they say with a sigh, “is just something I have to live with.” But is this clinically correct? Are some of us born worriers? And if so, is there nothing to be done to remove the black shadow that worry casts over our lives? Psychology professor Graham Davey at the University of Sussex thinks that worriers do not suffer from a hereditary predisposition for worry. “No, worriers are…

My father is over 70 now, and shows absolutely no signs of slowing down. He’s just not the retiring type, apparently. He left his job a year ago, but he’s now involved in numerous government and charity committees. To me, hell is an endless committee meeting, but he seems to like it. Why, I wonder, does he still work so hard? For money? No, he’s earned enough money to go on several holidays, but doesn’t. Is it desire for status and approval? The philosopher Adam Smith suggested we slave away to acquire status to win the approval of the public (real or imagined). It’s a delusion because people’s approval isn’t permanent and doesn’t make us permanently happy. And yet, said Adam Smith, it’s good that we chase status, because our…

“A man can sit in a bamboo house under a bamboo roof, on a bamboo chair at a bamboo table, with a bamboo hat on his head and bamboo sandals on his feet. He can at the same time hold in one hand a bamboo bowl, in the other hand bamboo chopsticks and eat bamboo sprouts… cooked over a bamboo fire, the table may be washed with a bamboo cloth, and he can fan himself with a bamboo fan, take a siesta on a bamboo bed, lying on a bamboo mat with his head resting on a bamboo pillow…. On rising he would smoke a bamboo pipe and taking a bamboo pen, write on bamboo paper, or carry his articles in bamboo baskets suspended from a bamboo pole, with a bamboo…

I was born on Bangka island, east of Sumatra, which is the 9th largest island in Indonesia. I am the second of four children. Our family lived in the capital of the island, Pangkal Pinang, because my father worked for a state-owned tin mining company. We didn’t leave the island until he got a new position in the company, which was to be based out of Jakarta, but it took us a while to get there. First, my father moved my sister to a high school in Jakarta, then I was transferred to Jakarta after middle school, while he continued to live and work in Bangka Island. It wasn’t until a few years later that he also moved to Jakarta to be with us all again, and we all lived…

It is not well known that John Bunyan wrote The Pilgrim’s Progress in two parts. The first is Christian’s famed, solitary battle through the Slough of Despond, Hill Difficulty and House Beautiful, Doubting Castle and of course, the Valley of the Shadow of Death. But Bunyan did write a second part, in which Christian’s wife, Christiana, sets out on this same journey. She is accompanied by her four sons, another woman and a warrior named Greatheart, who functions as her protector. Even in a literary dream sequence, with metaphorical foes, a woman could not journey alone. She needed chaperones to protect her from the unspeakable, and perhaps from her own untrustworthy behaviour.  Pilgrimage, for some, is an intoxicating idea. It has an urgent call upon our lives, and we dream…

Toni Fay Walsh Adelaide, Australia Day one: I had to put my beloved old dog down two weeks before Christmas. I had come from Adelaide to my family home in New South Wales to care for him. My mother flew to her parents’ house in Queensland because my grandfather was dying. As December waned, it became evident that, despite the medication, our poor old dog - blind, deaf, and dissolving into senility - would not be able to cope with my mother’s absence. Mum flew home two days after he died, while I was alone with the ghosts of my family home until my partner flew in. The Christmas break is generally hard for my family. My father died suddenly and unexpectedly on New Year’s Day three years before. Outside,…

who would have thought the world as we knewit would collapseflip overspin aroundand catapult chaos unforeseen tragedy sorrowand despairfear and uncertainty spinning uncontrollablypanic is contagiousbut waitthere is a stillnessan explosionof serenitythe iridescentsound of silenceempty roadsempty skiesabandoned shopsand wide open spacesa hushed worldmouths covered shutyet never voicelessa sunrise of melodies dancing on balconiesblooming creativity worldwide rediscoveryfor the first timein many lifetimesthere has never beena better timeto declutter our mindto listen to our inner world to plant new seedshomes full to the brimthe unsaid being saidand so the uprootingthe cleansingbegins…

For most of us living in postwar times, western society has felt rather familiar since birth. The streets are always busy, the shops are full, schools are open, and people mill about driven by their desire to consume goods and knowledge, to transact in the marketplace, to keep their bodies fit, and to flitter from one adventure to the next. But not now. The COVID-19 pandemic has seen closures on a scale not witnessed since war times. When our world shifts, it’s unsettling. And when we can’t make plans, and we can’t gauge what the future will look like even a week out, we can begin to feel fretful. “In difficult times the stress of trying to find solid ground - something predictable and safe to stand on - seems…

As long as I can remember, I’ve mindlessly picked at my nails. But one day I stopped. And by the afternoon on this particular day, I remember saying to a friend, “I will never pick my nails again.” And I didn’t. I still don’t. Studies show that habits, like nail-picking, are deeply ingrained in our psyche, or subconscious, whichever word you wish to use for actions we undertake without awareness, like reaching for a light switch in the dark - Pow! the light is on and we can’t recall the motion of our hand reaching to turn it on. It just happens. My nail-picking habit was similar. At the end of the day, I’d notice with some disbelief that they’d disappeared during the day, often when I was thinking about…

On 22 December 2018, Indonesian band Seventeen played to fans in a marquee on the beach. Then, suddenly, came a deafening roar. A huge wave erupted behind them. It crashed into the band and the crowd, hurtling bodies, gear, tables and chairs in its wake.  The entire episode was captured on film. In the tsunami in Banten province more than 400 people died, including four members of Seventeen. Only lead singer Riefian Fajarsyah survived. Like everyone else on the beach that day, Seventeen had no warning that a tsunami was approaching.  More than 10 million people live within a mile of the coast in Southeast Asia - and Indonesia, in particular, is prone to tsunamis. The giant wall of churning water, which derives its name from the Japanese for “large harbour wave”,…

There are many warm and fuzzy sayings about owning your own home, not least of which is one by French philosopher Gaston Bachelard: “If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house, I should say: the house shelters daydreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.” It’s this shelter for daydreaming, undisturbed by demands and jealousies, that makes us yearn for a home of our own. And so, from the vantage point of the second-storey window, I move the curtain aside. I breathe and take in the view, a perspective I could be seeing for the rest of my life. My eye scans the backyard fence separating the house from the neighbour’s yard. I swivel hard, and point. “That house is……

I was born in Majalengka, West Java, the second of four children, all of us girls except my brother, who was the youngest. My father is a temporary worker and has no permanent job. He can be called upon to do anything, from electricity, water pumping, to construction, whatever work is available at the time. My mother worked as a vegetable seller, pushing vegetable carts around the village to make money to survive. My mother died in 2006, when I was in my 20s. My sister was still small when my mother died. She was only 8 years old. We were not a wealthy family, but we were close, and compassion replaced any financial hardship we experienced. We were always together and that was the source of our happiness. I…

Womankind’s Art & Illustration award is themed on the feeling of ‘joy’, a fleeting elation easily forgotten in these troubled times. The winner of the joy award is Charlotte Asleep by Anne Yvonne Gilbert, a truly beautiful illustration. Our judges decided that this illustration perfectly depicted the ephemeral nature of joy, an emotion so near to sorrow. In second place is Seohui Chi’s Joyful Friends. Does this illustration not sing of joy? In third place is the beautiful scene of taking time out in nature, Breathe Nature by Nani Puspasari. In fourth place is Alice Pulver’s world of happy delights titled The Joy of Music, Portrait of Katie Noonan. In fifth place we could not overlook Marsha Wajer’s Blue-Footed Booby from the Galapagos Islands and Pink Axolotls joyfully playing in…

On the final day of a fashion shoot on a deserted beach in Nusa Penida, an island southeast of Bali, photographer Isabella Ginanneschi and the crew packed up later than hoped. “It was getting dark,” she remembers, “the currents were visibly dangerous, and the swell was growing stronger and stronger. We had to get back to our base in Lembongan and had a lot to take back on the boat, like the photo equipment, the wardrobe and make-up cases for the photo-shoot. And most of the twelve Balinese crew didn’t know how to swim.” Isabella, who began her career working in public relations in Milan putting together fashion campaigns for Vogue, before moving on to do similar work in New York, had returned to Bali for three months every year…

How did you come to be a visiting professor of Diverse Selfhood? I have a long association with academia, and I was invited to consider a post which I didn’t feel able to take up because I think I best serve when I’m not beholden to corporations or institutions. I’m a big work-from-the-gut, work-from-the-heart person, and a lot of corporate institutions require their workers to over-ride that in order to serve the bigger picture. I’ve just simply never been able to do that. So, with the institution, I discussed what I felt I wanted to achieve, based on what I’d learned over nearly 40 years (and what I’m still learning) and I’m thrilled to say they agreed. A big part of it came from the fact that I’ve always been…

It’s the one question that we’d all like to know the answer to, so we could just get on with it - the living part, that is. If we knew what the ‘good life’ entailed then we could shun the rest, and just concentrate on the important bits. But society has a tendency to derail us. We’re repeatedly told that the good life is about making loads of money, having a successful career and buying as much as we can possibly shovel into our houses and garages. Some are convinced that they need to be famous and get their name up in lights for the good life to kick in. It’s worth remembering that the phase of flight for the Kunanyia stephaniae butterfly lasts a mere 14 days, long enough…

EMMA BACON, United Kingdom “My neighbour, who lives opposite, came outside with her older daughter. My daughter ran into our garden, picked a lone fresh daisy, and ran to my neighbour’s daughter across the street to give it to her. We yelled a simultaneous, “NO!!!” My daughter froze solid and turned to me with a look of confusion. A shock that I don’t think I will ever forget. And then the tears came. ‘I just want to give my friend a flower mummy, I just want to give her the flower.’ There was nothing I could say that would make any sense, or explain why she couldn’t give her friend a daisy.” CRISTINA TRENAS, Los Angeles “I remember how I used to live. Always in a rush, always late. I…

Oh, what a year it has been. Turbulence abounds, anxiety soars. We worry about our health and security, as well as the safety of beings throughout the world. To some extent, we have brought on this turmoil through our own short-sightedness, denial, and, yes, even our greed. For this, we must wake up and regather our minds and resources to make a course correction. Sadly, a recurring cycle of losing our way and finding it again typifies the human story. It is our responsibility as stewards of our planet to do all we can do to find the North Star again. It is important to acknowledge the reality that difficulties, though sorely unwelcome, are an inevitable part of life. These difficulties may be mild or catastrophic, predictable or unpredictable, fair…

Can you please tell us a little about your childhood in Indonesia? I was brought up in a family with Middle-Eastern ancestry - I got my Yemeni descent from my father and my Iraqi descent from my mother. To make a long story short, I’ve been raised in Indonesia with an upbringing that is pretty much an acculturation of quite different cultures and ethnicities. Although I’ve been living in Indonesia and living my social life as a local, I was raised in a solid Arab tradition. But that’s the beauty of diversity, I’ve come to experience quite different cultures, which has helped me broaden my view on things. How did you start working in fashion? Fashion has always been part of what makes me excited, ever since I was a…

One night my husband, Victor, turned to me in bed and said, “Sweetie, I think I need to do something different.” I threw my book onto the nightstand. “You know you could teach anywhere,” I said, clutching at what I thought could be a turning point, a crossroads, a pivotal moment. Victor had been teaching middle school for over 15 years. He was the most passionate and principled teacher I knew. I pushed the covers off and sat up. “When we first met, you said that someday you wanted to go teach in another country, remember? Why not do it now?” Now, because I had just spent two years writing what I thought was my best novel yet, only to have it rejected by 10 publishers. My agent suggested I…

I was born in Sukabumi, West Java. I am the first child of three siblings, all boys. I grew up in Samarinda, Kalimantan (Borneo) and Makassar (South Sulawesi). We were always on the move. We lived in Kalimantan for the longest time, around seven years. I have so many childhood memories from living in Kalimantan - like learning to swim in the river, catching shrimp and fish in the Mahakam River, which is one of the largest rivers in Kalimantan. We used to camp a lot, hiking through the forest, and making a tree house. I’d learnt so many survival skills by the time I was 12. We used to eat a lot of traditional foods such as sticky rice, durian, sweet potatoes, and yellow rice. It’s probably why I’m…

Details Closing date: JUNE 30 2020 Format: One photograph per entry. Applicants: Open to all amateur and professional photographers. Subscribers to Womankind are automatically allowed entry. Non-subscribers must show purchase of current issue. File size: Please send large file sizes (larger than 3,000 pixels wide, 300dpi). Entries must be provided in file sizes suitable for publishing. The theme of this quarter’s award is light, which refers to an energy source that makes things visible. Light may take the form of a glare, a blaze or shine, a radiance, or florescence. Win $500 and get published in the next issue of Womankind magazine OPEN TO ALL READERS. For full details visit: womankindmag.com/award Send to: award@womankindmag.com…

Hovering between hand and machine embroidery, between the real and the imagined, between colours, threads and textures, has been the way I have worked for all of my embroidered life. Stitch meditation has been my salvation in the last few years. Hand stitching is repetitive and can be meditative. The rhythm of embroidering can be used as a calming strategy. Hand embroidery was my first love. My mother patiently taught me to stitch, embroidering a Semco d’oyley, patterned with pansies was the first thing I recall stitching, while sitting on the green settee. I still grow purple pansies. With six children in our family, I now wonder if it was about having my mother all to myself. One-on-one with a working mother in the 1960s could have been the attraction…

The Rainbow Troops By Andrea Hirata Ikal is a student at Muhammadiyah Elementary, on the Indonesian island of Belitung, where graduating from sixth grade is considered a major achievement. His school is under constant threat of closure. In fact, Ikal and his friends - a group called the Rainbow Troops - face threats from pessimistic, corrupt government officials, greedy corporations, deepening poverty and crumbling infrastructure. The Rainbow Troops, once translated, went on to sell over 5 million copies. The Sea Speaks His Name By Leila S. Chudori The tragic yet inspiring story of a group of friends, all young and idealistic political activists who faced the iron fist of power in the waning days of the Suharto regime, in the late 1990s. In the twilight hours of a day in…