Table of contents for July 24, 2023 in Globe

SEAS THE DAY Funnyman JERRY SEINFELD fritters away the time on a yacht in St.-Tropez — but his uneven tan is far from shipshape SUMMER’S OVER Former Baywatch babe NICOLE EGGERT, who played leggy lifeguard Summer Quinn, was once a beach bombshell — but now she’s in the weeds! GOOD SPORT Retired New England Patriot TOM BRADY leaps into action at a charity event at the Boys & Girls Club of Miami PRANCING QUEEN Quirky CATE BLANCHETT busts a move at England’s Glastonbury Festival — but the Elizabeth movie monarch shouldn’t give up her day job! DOLLARS & SCENTS Nosy JESSICA ALBA, Fantastic Four’s superheroine Susan Storm, sniffs around an L.A.comic shop RAISING HIS CACKLES Spider-Man’s WILLEM DAFOE is gleeful, but his wrinkled face is as frightful as his screen…

VETERAN newsman Geraldo Rivera has quit FOX News after 23 years over claimed clashes with the network’s new golden boy Greg Gutfeld. The 80-year-old says he left the right-wing network altogether after he was “fired” from The Five, a panel opinion show where he “was one of the lonely liberal voices”and often butted heads with Gutfeld. Geraldo says “a growing tension that goes beyond editorial differences” with Gutfeld “made it no longer worth” staying. “I’ve been fired from The Five. And as a result of that I quit FOX!”…

COUNTRY icon Dolly Parton says she got “no satisfaction” from Mick Jagger, who snubbed her plea to sing a duet. The 77-year-old 9 to 5 songbird is coming out with a different, Rockstar album, and especially wanted the 79-year-old Jumpin’ Jack Flash to be on it. “I wanted Mick Jagger so bad, because my husband [Carl Dean] loves him, and I wanted him to sing on (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, but he wanted something new and different,” she says. “We kept looking for the right song. He was doing an album in L.A. and I was doing stuff in Nashville, and I kept missing him, but he wanted to do it.” The album features singing stars like Sting, Kid Rock, Chris Stapleton and Miley Cyrus. Meanwhile Dolly’s not mad…

It’s a boy for Twilight vamp NIKKI REED, 35, and Vampire Diaries alum hubby IAN SOMERHALDER, 44, who delivered their second baby at home utilizing a midwife. The little one joins big sister BODHI, 5. “It’s never too late to become a mother,” gushes supermodel NAOMI CAMPBELL, who welcomed her second baby, a son, at 53. She also has a two-year-old daughter. Former Today host KATHIE LEE GIFFORD’s daughter, CASSIDY, 29, and her hubby, BEN WIERDA, 32, had their first baby, son FINN. Former Pussycats Dolls singer NICOLE SCHERZINGER, 45, is purring over a beachy Hawaiian marriage proposal from Scottish ex-rugby player THOM EVANS, 38. MILEY CYRUS’ lil sis, NOAH CYRUS, 23, got engaged to PINKUS, a young German fashion designer. Newlywed Mad Men star JON HAMM, 52, ain’t ruling…

MADONNA’S six kids believe the Material Mom dodged a bullet with her latest health crisis and are begging the diva to quit her childish bid to stay forever young with grueling five-hour daily workouts and concert tours. The fading 64-year-old was rushed to a hospital June 24 after being found unresponsive and spent several days near death in an ICU battling a serious bacterial infection. After leaving the hospital, the singer was still sick as a dog. The July 15 Canadian kickoff of her seven-month Celebration tour was postponed. Her kids, Lourdes, 26, Rocco, 22, David, 17, Mercy, 17, and 10-year-old twins Estere and Stella, are beside themselves with worry. “They’ve tried to look the other way when Madonna partied into the night and chased boys a third her age, but they’re…

POP queen Miley Cyrus’ mom, Tish, is shrinking herself to a size 00 for her upcoming wedding and that has loved ones fearing the skin’n’ bones scheme will wreck her health. Billy Ray Cyrus’ 56-year-old ex looked thin as a reed while in Italy where her actor-fiancé, Dominic Purcell, 53, was filming a movie. The trip also doubled as her “Tishlorette” bachelorette party with close pals. Sources snitch Tish has always been thin, but now is taking it to a dangerous extreme that even daughters Brandi, 36, and Miley, 30, think is over the top. “She’s diet obsessed — juicing, fasting one day a week, exercising for three hours, sweating out toxins in saunas, and looking downright scrawny,” dishes an insider. “People understand she wants to look good in her wedding…

PINK REPELLED BY CREMATED PITCH Bewildered PINK turned white as a ghost when a deranged fan tossed a clear sandwich baggie onto a London concert stage — containing the cremated ashy remains of the devotee’s deceased mother! Even weirder, the bizarre gesture took place while the pop star sang Just Like a Pill, which includes eye-popping lyrics like, “I can’t stay on your life support, tried to call the nurse again, but she’s bein’ a little b***h,” and “you’re just like a pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill.” Yeesh! “Is this your mom?” the mortified singer asked, before gingerly setting the ziplock, stuffed with the powdery human remains, down at the stage’s edge. “I don’t know how I feel about this,” she squirmed. But mortified…

TWEEN gymnast Magnolia Woodhead miraculously survived a savage shark attack, courageously fighting off a ravenous man-eater that left her right leg covered in blood oozing from more than 100 wounds! The 12-year-old Philadelphia girl’s life-and-death battle came after she and her parents arrived in Cocoa Beach, Fla., for a competition and decided to relax at the beach before the gymnastics meet June 26. Magnolia went swimming out by the town’s pier when suddenly she felt a jolt. “I didn’t see the shark at all,” she recalls. “And it just came, and it attacked me. I just pushed it because I did not want it near me. I did not want anything bad to happen.” Despite being shoved away, the finned fiend attacked two more times before finally giving up and…

FLIP-FLOPPING Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are planning to say their I do’s all over again in a last-ditch bid to shore up their rocky marriage — just one year after tying the knot! Sources tell GLOBE the limelight-lovin’ superstars are planning a lavish summer ceremony at their new $60 million L.A. mega-mansion with hordes of Hollywood A-listers on the guest list and the couple’s kids from previous marriages also involved in the no-expenses-spared ceremony. It’ll be their third ceremony after getting hitched in Vegas last year and following up with a big blowout in Georgia. The latest twist along the prickly pair’s lovers’ lane comes after mounting reports they were so miserable until recently they’d even discussed filing for divorce — with sources saying Affleck, 50, reached a tipping…

STUNNED U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio is reeling from an avalanche of shocking “firsthand knowledge” of UFOs from top Pentagon officials who detail several hush-hush government operations to retrieve and reverse-engineer alien space technology. Rubio, 52, cautions against “jumping to any conclusions,” but says he walks a thin line between sharing this mind-blowing info with the American public and protecting whistle-blowers “fearful of harm.” “I’m not trying to be evasive, but I am trying to be protective of these people,” says the Florida Republican. “Some of these people still work in the government, and frankly a lot of them are very fearful — fearful of their jobs, fearful of their clearances, fearful of their career, and some frankly are fearful of harm coming to them!” The politico’s disclosure comes on the heels…

PAT SAJAK is eyeing a new career after getting booted from Wheel of Fortune, according to pals who say he plans to become a stand-up comic! Despite Pat’s flop when his 1989 late-night talk show bombed after just a year, “he’s been a lifelong admirer of Johnny Carson, not just for Carson’s hosting chops but also for his on-the-spot wit and classic way with a monologue,” spills an insider. “And Pat managed to weave his own sense of humor into Wheel to varying degrees of success over the decades.” So by pulling out of Wheel now, instead of five or ten years from now, Pat will have the time and the energy to devote to his real passion — making complete strangers laugh, notes the insider. “He has plenty of…

THE five people gruesomely crushed into the size of a can of corn by the implosion of the Titan submersible during a tour ride to the Titanic wreck two-and-a-half miles below the sea’s surface didn’t have to die! That’s the shocking conclusion by experts who’ve called the tiny vessel an accident waiting to happen and questioned the durability of the Titan’s hull, which faced horrific pressures of up to 6,000 pounds per square inch during dives to the ocean liner’s watery grave. In fact, some scientists branded the mini-sub defective from the get-go. Many of the vessel’s trips had to be canceled or cut short due to mechanical problems, and even the Titan’s creator, who died in the June 18 doomed dive, confessed he’d broken safety and science rules to…

NEW dad Robert De Niro, 79, has been devastated by the news his grandson Leandro De Niro Rodriguez has died — at age 19! New York Police Department sources say the teen, who played the son of Bradley Cooper’s friend in the 2018 hit A Star Is Born, was found sitting in a chair inside his $1 million Manhattan apartment next to a white powder believed to be fentanyl-laced cocaine. Cops were called to the scene by a worried friend who hadn’t heard from Leandro for a few days. De Niro, a father of seven, adopted Leandro’s mom, Drena, after marrying first wife Diahnne Abbott. The Godfather stud just added to his brood when current lover Tiffany Chen gave birth in May.…

HUMILIATED Kevin Costner is now begging his estranged wife, Christine Baumgartner, to take him back and end her ugly divorce, fearing she’ll publicly expose his most embarrassing private secrets, insiders say. The 49-year-old beauty clobbered the Yellowstone TV cowboy, 68, with divorce papers on May 2 seeking to end their 18-year marriage while demanding their prenup be dumped and he shell out $248,000 a month to support their sons Cayden, 16, and Hayes, 14, and daughter Grace, 13. Costner has accused her of using their three teens as pawns to fund a plastic surgery addiction, according to sources who say he’d still jump at the chance to end the monetary madness and have her drop the divorce petition. “At this point, Kevin sees it would be cheaper to keep her,”…

BEAUTIFUL Blake Lively is facing ugly backlash from fans who are bashing the teetotaling Gossip Girl gal for launching a line of alcoholic beverages! Lively, 35, who’s married to Deadpool gin-slinger Ryan Reynolds, admitted drinking isn’t her “thing” on Instagram — while shilling her Betty Booze canned cocktails. Critics have slammed the mom of four for the “cash grab,” which comes two years after the sober star debuted a selection of spirit-free mixers.…

CRAZED sea lions are savaging California beachgoers in a foaming frenzy — and scientists say toxic algae has driven them bonkers! The maniac mammals — who normally steer clear of humans and instead gulp down huge feasts of fish — have been plunging their choppers into surfers, divers and sunbathers and even flopping around on all fours to go after dogs on the sand! “We saw one repeatedly knocking a paddleboarder off his board even though the guy was smacking it with his paddle,” says a resident of the coastal city Ventura. “He barely got away!” Scientists believe the whipped-up whoppers have been dining on poisonous algal blooms that cause severe neurological problems — with one witness describing the aquatic animals as behaving as if they were on “a bad…

TRAGIC Toby Keith says his stomach cancer treatments have shrunk his tumor by a third — but “you never know with cancer, so you have to prepare!” The 62-year-old country star reports “everything is in a real positive trend” as he battles the life-threatening condition. Toby hopes to get “out on the road” once he gets his mojo back. “I’m thinking about bringing the band in and setting up, playing two or three days somewhere, just to see if I can get through two hours,” says the Should’ve Been a Cowboy crooner, who was diagnosed in 2021. “All I gotta do is see if I can get through two or three nights of work and get a little break in this chemo, and we’ll go back to work!”…

TAYLOR SWIFT’s request for fans to lay off her former flame John Mayer on social media as she rereleases Dear John, the hit tune about how he broke her heart, is either a bad joke or the height of hypocrisy. On a video for her new album Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) featuring a new cut of the decade-old tune, the 33-year-old singer tells fans: “I don’t care about anything that happened to me when I was 19. I’m not putting this album out so you can go on the internet and defend me against someone you think I wrote a song about 14 million years ago.” The tune tells how womanizing 31-year-old Mayer coldly dropped teen Taylor after three months of dating in 2010. Her lyrics go, “Don’t you think…

CRYBABIES Harry and Meghan are blaming everyone and everything — except themselves — for their disastrous business problems and plunging popularity and, incredibly, palace sources tell GLOBE the royal renegades might actually be right! While the Duke and Duchess of Sussex insist their misfortunes have been caused by the COVID pandemic, Queen Elizabeth’s death and old-fashioned bad luck, a top-level courtier claims they are the victims of something far more sinister — the Windsor Family Curse! According to the palace insider, the family hex has tainted the royal bloodline since before Queen Victoria’s 19th-century reign, dooming the Windsor clan to suffer disastrous marriages and spawn sex creeps like the perverted Prince Eddy, widely believed to be London’s notorious Jack the Ripper, and 21st-century sleaze Prince Andrew. “The curse is talked…

NAOMI WATTS plays a wannabe actress in Hollywood who tries to help an amnesiac (LAURA HARRING) uncover her true identity in Mulholland Drive, a surreal 2001 neo-noir mystery from director David Lynch — who has refused to explain what the head-spinning movie is really about! Although critics and audiences gave the strange, dreamlike movie high marks, it’s still a head-scratcher. Lynch meant it to be the pilot for a series after his success with Twin Peaks, and had to scramble to create a new ending when TV execs turned up their noses — because they didn’t understand it!…

PROFESSIONAL walking — known as pedestrianism — was once a very popular sport in America featuring wild wagers on six-day competitions held in arenas! Back in 1879, 13 pros competed in front of 10,000 fans at New York City’s Madison Square Garden. Cheating ultimately killed the sport. IDENTICAL twins have different fingerprints — and over time become less and less alike! THE Longaberger basket company is headquartered in a seven-floor replica of its Medium Market Basket, which features two heated handles to avoid icing in winter. RED wolves, New England cottontails and Seminole bats can only be found in the United States! YOUR diet impacts your skin color. Eating yellow, red and orange veggies creates a yellow-orange skin color scientists claim is genetically attractive to the human eye.…