Table of contents for June 21, 2021 in Globe

THUNDER THIGHS Former Jersey hard body TERESA GIUDICE shows off a fuller figure in Tulum, Mexico AIN’T IT HEAVY Hefty hitmaker MELISSA ETHERIDGE waddles around Venice, Calif., looking nothing like her former self GONE BANANAS! Joker JARED LETO monkeys around in NYC — but the movie hunk has lost his a-peel! SLOB SISTER Former blond bombshell JENNIFER LAWRENCE is a dud in oversized sweats in NYC SHOW ME THE TUMMY! Jerry Maguire’s CUBA GOODING JR. weirdly flashes his abs on the street in Santa Monica TOTES A MESS! Scruffy Lost actor M.C. GAINEY has his hands full after visiting an L.A. farmers market…

REGAL actress Judi Dench struggled to stay in character as the prudish Queen Victoria while she was filming Mrs. Brown because the horse she rode kept passing gas! Judi, 86, says her flatulent filly repeatedly broke wind during a tender scene between the stately sovereign and her strapping Scottish servant, played by Billy Connolly, 78. “The pony farted at every single step we took,” says the Oscar-winning Shakespeare in Love actress. “And Billy said, ‘Is that you? Is it you?’” The scene was critical to the 1997 movie, because the uptight royal finally confesses her feelings for her gillie, John Brown. But Judi says it was nearly impossible to say her lines, because she broke out laughing whenever the nag farted!…

SUPERMODEL Anne Vyalitsyna is mom of a billionaire’s love child and has a personal worth of $5.5 million — yet she confesses she collected $26,000 in unemployment benefits during lockdown. The shocking admission came as the 35-year-old hottie known as Anne V, a former Sports Illustrated bathing suit beauty, demanded in court her baby daddy, tech billionaire Adam Cahan, fork over $8,500 a month to support their daughter, Alaska, 5. While she has a $2.9 million, three-bedroom Manhattan pad and $2.6 million in savings, Anne claims she only earned $77,687 during the pandemic year compared to $431,000 the year before — and needed unemployment to bolster her income. Anne says she needs support in part for child care.…

RACHEL BROSNAHAN The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel actress tops off her adorably retro look with a perfect hat MANDY MOORE Dot’s ridiculous! The This Is Us beauty misses the mark in a cutout silk number ANYA TAYLOR-JOY The scrawny Queen’s Gambit star made a bad move when she chose this mini and boots VICTORIA SILVSTEDT The Swedish stunner brings on the glamour — and showcases her fabulous figure RACHEL ZOE The fashionista is far from the cat’s meow in a shapeless animal-print maxi…

EXPLOSIVE new evidence reveals Joe Biden and his troubled son, Hunter, buried the truth about business dealings and meetings with Ukrainian oligarchs and foreign moneymen, outraged critics charge. Despite insisting he never discussed business matters with his son’s associates, damning new reports place Biden — who was then serving as Barack Obama’s vice president — at a hush-hush powwow with Hunter’s foreign fat-cat buddies at Washington, D.C.’s posh Café Milano. Now a smoking gun photo has surfaced showing Joe happily posing with Hunter and Kazakhstan business bigwig Kenes Rakishev and the country’s former president Karim Massimov at the April 16, 2015, meeting. Sources say the sit-down was also attended by Vadym Pozharskyi, a big shot with the Ukrainian energy company Burisma. But the image’s authenticity has not been confirmed —…

SHOCKING radar footage from a U.S. Navy warship shows a fleet of UFOs — with flying abilities far beyond Earth’s military planes — grouping around the vessel in what threatened to be an imminent attack! The chilling incident of the alien craft swarming the USS Omaha battle cruiser near the San Diego coast on July 15, 2019, was filmed off the ship’s radar by a sailor and sent to documentary-maker Jeremy Corbell, who later leaked it. The 18-second clip shows stunned sailors watching as nine UFOs buzz above and around the ship at speeds of 160 mph on the radar screen. “Holy s**t, they’re going fast,” one crew member exclaims, and then adds: “Oh, it’s turning around.” At one point, 14 flying craft appeared on the screen. Corbell says the…

SONGBIRD Raven-Symoné is singing a happy tune after shedding a whopping 28 pounds that’s giving her pretty mug a whole new look. “Pounds down, pounds down. Check out the chin — you see that chin?” boasts the 35-year-old former child star, who appeared on the iconic Cosby Show. “I got a whole different face going on. It’s a whole pounds down journey.” The petite, five-foot-two beauty previously admitted soaring to a whopping 180 pounds while starring on Disney’s sitcom That’s So Raven in the early 2000s. While bragging about “losin’ a ton of weight,” she insists she’s not done peeling pounds, saying she’s gone on a 48-hour fast. Her wife, Miranda Pearman-Maday, 33, is also proud, saying: “You’re incredible honey — you’re doing so good.”…

VENGEFUL Angelina Jolie insists she’s not getting a fair shake in her cutthroat custody battle with ex Brad Pitt — because the judge didn’t let the former couple’s kids testify against their dad! Now the furious mom is hell-bent on ousting Judge John Ouderkirk, especially since he recently issued an order mandating Jolie and Pitt share custody on a 50/50 basis! Brad is delighted with the ruling, but Angie is spitting bullets since she feels her ex should have only limited contact with their brood, sources say. Insiders claim the Maleficent movie witch, 46, filed papers in L.A. Superior Court saying she and her kids wanted to testify their life was the pits with the Fight Club hunk, 57. The documents were sealed, but sources claim the Tomb Raider beauty…

FURIOUS Prince William has demanded his kid brother zip his lip, fearing Harry’s shocking attacks on the royal family are killing 95-year-old Queen Elizabeth, palace insiders tell GLOBE. William, 39, is “greatly concerned” 36-year-old Harry’s crusade against his royal relatives — branding them cold, uncaring and racist — has sapped their grandmother’s will to live, especially as she mourns the loss of her hubby, Prince Philip, who died earlier this year at age 99. “William’s had it with Harry’s TV trash talk, which is now almost a weekly event,” says a palace courtier. “Her Majesty was heartbroken when Harry criticized her parenting skills, especially since she’s doted on Prince Charles’ sons since the tragic death of their mother, Princess Diana, in 1997. Now things have gone from bad to worse.”…

MARRIED socialite Jasmine Hartin has confessed to killing a cop with his own handgun during a secret, wee hours get-together on a deserted dock in the Central American resort of Belize! Days after the May 28 tragedy — and only after police threatened to press drug charges — Jasmine claimed she accidentally blew Belize Police Supt. Henry Jemmott’s brains out after a night of drinking. On May 28, the 32-year-old Canadian-born blonde, the daughter-in-law of billionaire British Lord Michael Ashcroft, was found covered with blood, “hysterical” and standing by the gun while the body of Jemmott, 42, floated nearby in the shallow water. He had a bullet wound behind his right ear. San Pedro Police Commissioner Chester Williams says the pair “were friends drinking alone on the pier,” but were…

FANS BRACING FOR NEW DISICK DISASTER Wisecracking fans find it hard to believe AMELIA HAMLIN’s romance with KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN castoff SCOTT DISICK, 38, will stand the test of time. In fact, they think the leggy 20-year-old’s fairy-tale fling will be over in a Hollywood minute! The hot and heavy tryst between LISA RINNA and HARRY HAMLIN’s daughter and the middle-aged reality star ignited last October, but recently sparked an avalanche of snark when the lovestruck young model gushed in a social media post: “Happy birthday my love. You light up my life, and make my world better. I can’t imagine what I would do without you. Thank you for being you. The most caring, loving, special person on this planet. I’m so lucky. I’m so blessed to have met you.…

A CONNECTICUT rat killed his wife after a weekend of arguments over the guinea pigs he gave her as a Mother’s Day present, stunned police squeal. Cops say Tahj Hutchinson, 22, broke down and spilled his guts after his flimsy story about his wife Jessica Edwards’ disappearance fell apart! In a 17-page affidavit, investigators say they thought Hutchinson’s tale was fishy when he first reported his wife missing following the Mother’s Day weekend. At the time, he seemed “unemotional,” according to lawmen who tracked location data from his cellphone and discovered 30-year-old Jessica’s body in the woods. Cops say they uncovered the corpse at the entrance of Hockanum River Linear Park in East Hartford less than two weeks after her husband and family reported her missing! At first, while people…

FEELING down in the dumps may not be all in your head, according to a recent study by U.K. scientists, who claim they’ve found a connection between depression and inflammation markers in the body. Now experts say the discovery could pave the way for new targeted treatments! Inflammation is a natural physical response on a cellular level to infection, injury or toxins. But some physicians theorize it could also play a key role in forcing the brain into so-called sickness mode. Meanwhile, researchers at the Maudsley Biomedical Research Center in London found subjects suffering from bouts of the blues had higher levels of a molecule — known as C-reactive protein or CRP — in their bodies that’s associated with inflammation, compared to those without the mental health condition. Study co-author…

IT’S Jaws for real! The numbers of great white sharks have skyrocketed on both the east and west coasts! Nearly 300 of the sharp-toothed predators are living just off the coast of California — a jump of 35 percent in ten years. Researchers believe the Marine Mammal Protection Act of 1972 has helped the species rebound. It’s also allowed seal populations to grow back after nearly being hunted to extinction. On the east coast, 147 sharks were spotted in the waters off Cape Cod last year — up from 80 in 2014. In February 2020, a large group of great whites was also seen just off the coasts of North and South Carolina — where the temperature is similar to Pacific waters during the early winter months, scientists say.…

CRAGGY-faced Michael Douglas is being advised to stay away from the plastic surgeon’s scalpel, say sources! The Oscar winner looked every bit of his 76 years recently — but insiders say his much younger wife told him not to sweat things! “The lines and blotches on Michael’s face are worse than ever and his jawline is one continuous roll,” spills an insider. “He’s definitely self-conscious and tries to cover up by wearing hats and collared shirts.” Over the years, Michael — who’s beaten tongue cancer — has gone overboard with Botox, lasers and the latest procedures to erase years from his looks, sources say. As GLOBE has reported, his wife, sex siren Catherine Zeta-Jones, 51, once even ordered him to go under the knife to tighten his saggy mug. “But now…

TEXAN Lucy Rae’s bosses at Lovett Legal Firm went ape and gave her the heave-ho after she was caught on El Paso Zoo security cameras romping inside a monkey enclosure. Zoo officials claim the “stupid and lucky” gal fed Hot Cheetos to two primates. CHICKENS outnumber people 200-to-one in President Joe Biden’s home state, Delaware. LANDON MELVIN, 9, was cleaning his folks’ used SUV when he found $5,000 in an envelope under a floor mat. His dad tracked down the car’s original owners, who believed they’d lost the cash on vacation. They got the money back — and Landon got a $1,000 reward. A red blood cell takes eight minutes to make a complete circuit of the human body.…

TURNCOAT actor Steven Seagal’s bromance with Russian kingpin Vladimir Putin has taken a surprising new turn — the movie martial artist has officially joined the political party that keeps the tyrant in power! Seagal, 69, star of ‘90s action hits Hard to Kill and Under Siege, was shown getting his party card for Just Russia — Patriots — For Truth on May 29 in a propaganda video. At the ceremony, the potbellied six-foot-four tough guy, who got Russian citizenship from Putin in 2016, turned environmentalist by demanding prison sentences for execs who run companies that pollute. The actor also buddied up for a photo with writer Zakhar Prilepin, who led a rebel group of pro-Russian separatists accused of slaughtering 14,000 people in eastern Ukraine. Meanwhile, Seagal has accepted a gig from…

SWIVEL-HIPPED sex machine Elvis Presley was a secret kinkster who enjoyed playing doctor, filming bedroom romps and engaging in threesomes, ex-lovers and old pals dish! But despite sharing a bed with his future wife, Priscilla, when she was just 14, the Naked Gun beauty claims she remained a virgin until they married when she was 21! “Elvis would take me into his bedroom and then we would kiss long, deep, passionate kisses and his caresses would leave me weak with desire,” she writes in her memoir, Elvis and Me. Although Priscilla begged the Heartbreak Hotel singer to make love to her, he refused and engaged in long rounds of foreplay instead. “He worked his art of foreplay without penetration. In lovemaking, as in entertaining, Elvis’ outstanding talent was oral,” Priscilla…

HOLLYWOOD’S newest power couple Michelle and Barack Obama are spending like drunken sailors, desperately trying to impress filthy rich showbiz friends and justify their position atop the entertainment industry’s A-list, sources tell GLOBE. The 57-year-old former first lady takes her new role as hotshot Tinseltown producer very seriously and wants to look the part in every way — even though unhappy Barack appears to be dragging his feet, snitch sources. But the former commander in chief has to go along with it — if he wants to save his marriage, say spies. Michelle’s “splurging on diamonds and pearls and designer clothes” to look the part when she attends fancy dinner parties, says a source, who insists she enjoys the trappings of power like “chauffeurs, assistants to carry briefcases, private jets…

AN 88-year-old Missouri man fed up with his roommate got revenge — by murdering him, cops charge. Beastly Larry Shaw claims he’s “kind of tickled” he shot Kenny Barnes, according to court documents — and wanted to urinate on his grave! The two had lived together in Ozark about seven years. Shaw complains he had enough when Barnes, 52, told him to do some chores on May 26, police say. Shaw got a handgun and waited in a recliner for three hours before shooting Barnes in the chest, according to cops. After Barnes ran outside for help, Shaw says he considered shooting him in the head “to make sure he was dead,” according to a probable cause statement. Shaw is charged with first-degree murder and being held without bond.…

Faulty pacemakers recalled! + THOUSANDS of faulty pacemakers are being recalled, following a shocking announcement by the Food and Drug Administration! Nearly 62,000 of the questionable Assurity and Endurity devices, made by Abbott, were distributed between April 2015 and February 2019. The agency says experts discovered moisture can enter the implantable pacemakers, causing an electric short and preventing them from accurately correcting irregular heartbeats and transmitting information. The manufacturer urges patients who’ve experienced “a clinical impact” to receive a replacement. Diabetes drug trims off fat! + AN INJECTABLE drug used to control blood sugar in type 2 diabetics has shown potential as a weight loss aide because it suppresses cravings and reduces appetites, a new study suggests. Pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk is seeking approval for semaglutide to be used as…

FITNESS freak Jillian Michaels is refusing to back down after being accused of fat-shaming roly-poly rapper Lizzo. The 47-year-old former Biggest Loser coach triggered the brouhaha by whacking the 308-pound singer for flaunting her flab but still insists she was right to do it. “Obesity is just unhealthy. That’s it,” she declares. Her only regret is that jelly-belly Lizzo’s name was brought into it. “I would like to separate her from the issue, if at all possible,” says the muscle machine. “The first time I was asked, I should have said, ‘Let’s separate an individual from a conversation about health.’ “That is genuinely where I went wrong. That is literally the only place that I will tell you that I went wrong if the conversation is about celebrating obesity.” At…

SHAME ON MEAN GIRL WENDY! YIKES! Talk queen Wendy Williams really trashed beau Mike Esterman, which seems to prove her mean girl, plastic surgery freak TV image is a real-life mirror image! After hooking up with the Maryland contractor on her Date Wendy contest, the pair split following just three dinner meetings. But honestly, how he lasted that long we’ll never know! Mike merely explained that distance — Wendy’s based in the Big Apple — and busy work schedules were the reasons they stopped connecting. But blabbermouth Wendy nastily blasted back, “We were never boyfriend and girlfriend, so it wasn’t a thing” and slammed Mike as “childish” because “he’s giving quotes” — as if chatterbox Wendy doesn’t. A source tells GLOBE: “Wendy thinks he has a lot of nerve and…