Table of contents for July 25, 2016 in Globe

EATING machine REBEL WILSON claims she DELIBERATELY piled on pounds to pave her way to Hollywood after being upstaged by a tubbier comedian! Amazingly, the “Pitch Perfect” pudge insists she can trim down ANY time — but is only staying porky because fat femmes get more laughs! Rebel claims she can “take six months off, and just do a total transformation,” but insiders tell GLOBE the 290-pound blonde is fooling herself. “She’s been hitting the gym constantly,” dishes one spy. “She even took time in April to go to a brutal boot camp and fat farm in Malibu. But the weight’s not coming off.” For now, the spy says, Rebel’s “putting a positive spin on her shocking obesity” by saying it helps her get work, “which is a big fat…

STAR of two successful film franchises — “Jurassic Park” and “Independence Day” — Jeff Goldblum is known for his quirky characters and his offbeat sex appeal. But the 63-yearold actor isn’t just a sci-fi stud. Here are 10 things you didn’t know about Jeff — including his not-so-secret passion, his favorite Jurassic beast and the one thing he does while working on every movie. 1. He doesn’t care how you pronounce his name, but reveals, “I myself say ‘bloom’ to rhyme with ‘zoom.’ ” 2. He’s an accomplished jazz pianist who plays regular gigs with a band. 3. His first film role was as an unnamed thug in 1974’s “Death Wish,” starring Charles Bronson. 4. “I’m no expert, but since childhood I’ve had a fondness for the triceratops,” he says…

JUNKIE robber Ricky Hand made a big mess in court! When the judge sentenced him to 40 years behind bars, the disgusting deviant pelted the room with bottles filled with his own poop and pee! Hand’s lawyer and four deputies were splattered with the waste matter before lawmen could tackle the 46-year-old Ohio man, who had pled guilty to seven of 30 charges of burglary, safe-cracking, robbery and abduction. His shocking outburst was caught on tape after Clark County’s Judge Richard O’Neill sentenced him to 40 out of a possible 52 years. “Did you just give me 40 years, sir?” asks Ricky, who had one arm in a sling. After the judge replies, “Yes,” Ricky pulls a bottle hidden in his pants and tosses the contents! Fortunately, court officers quickly…

PHOTO FIND Hidden in the box of letters are the names of some celebrities. Use the photos below to help you work out the clues! The names have been split into two and can be found in straight lines up, down, forward, backward or diagonally. The leftover letters will reveal the name of another celebrity. How to enter & contest rules, page 56. WIN $350 MOVIE WATCH Ewan McGregor has appeared in all the movies below. See if you can unscramble them. How to enter & contest rules, page 56. 1. RUIN MOO GLUE 2. STARTING POINT 3. OUTER REGARD 4. DEVILMENT GLOVE COLORING CONTEST Color in your favorite stars & win cash! WIN $ 500 How to enter GLOBE coloring contest #30 Color in the black-and-white image and give…

GAYLE KING still hates the home-wrecker who slept with her husband 26 years ago! “Despise is a strong word,” says Gayle, 61, when asked about a living person she loathes. “I’m not a huge fan of the woman I caught naked with my now exhusband on June 24, 1990, at 9:16 p.m.” Gayle and William Bumpus divorced in 1993, and she’s been vocal about him bedding other women. “I was married to a cheater,” she told Will Smith on her radio show in 2006. “I have worked it out. I’m not bitter. I’m OK.” Sure doesn’t sound like it!…

ORIGINAL Lois Lane actress Noel Neill went to her grave without winning truth and justice for her “Adventures of Superman” co-star George Reeves! Noel, who died at 95 on July 3, 2016, at home in Tucson, Ariz., first played Lois in movie serials, and then teamed with George in 1953 for the TV show’s second season. “George was shot in 1959. The death was ruled a suicide, but Noel was convinced foul play was involved,” says an insider. Fueling her suspicions was Reeves’ notorious affair with the wife of notorious Hollywood fixer Eddie Mannix. The actress campaigned with Jimmy Olsen actor Jack Larson to reopen the case! Noel left acting for a career in PR — and handled fan mail for Tom Selleck. “But she never got George’s case reopened,”…

BELOVED TV dad Tim Allen narrowly escaped death at the hands of drug dealers bent on vengeance — after he turned stool pigeon to save his own skin, say sources. Before hitting the Hollywood big time, Tim, 63, who plays funny fathers on the classic sitcom “Home Improvement” and his current ABC show, “Last Man Standing,” was peddling drugs. On Oct. 2, 1978, Tim, whose real name is Timothy Allen Dick, was busted by undercover cops at Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan for possession of nearly a pound and a half of cocaine. “He was facing life in prison, and rolled on suppliers to save his own neck!” the source says. In exchange for squealing, prosecutors gave the not-so-stand-up-guy a reduced sentence of threeto-seven years. He was released after…

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‘Y&R’ ACTRESS ADOPTS BABY Melissa Ordway (Abby, “The Young and the Restless”) opens up about new baby Olivia, and the road to parenthood with hubby Justin Gaston. “After we decided to adopt, it had been such an emotional journey for us in the sense that we didn’t know how long it was going to take and when we were going to meet our baby,” she shares. “So, when we knew that a little baby was coming, we were already over the moon, and then on top of that, finding out it was a girl, it was such an incredible moment.” ‘GH’ STAR ON DAYTIME PAST “General Hospital” newcomer James Patrick Stuart (Theo) recalls his days on “All My Children” and how he became close to Genie Francis (Laura, “GH”), who…

CRUSHED by a string of disastrous romances and a crumbling career, Demi Moore is an emotional time bomb ready to explode and desperately needs another stint in life-saving rehab, pals say. “She’s an emotional wreck — a ticking time bomb!” says an insider close to the actress. “Demi feels professionally irrelevant and alone, and will do anything to recapture her youth. But it’s literally killing her! She needs to get help fast.” The “Ghost” star’s downward spiral began in 2012 when she was rushed to the hospital with seizures after discovering boytoy hubby Ashton Kutcher had cheated on her! While her reps claimed she’d been treated for “exhaustion,” sources later revealed Demi, 53, was doing “whip-its,” inhaling party-drug nitrous oxide. She entered rehab soon after and now friends fear Demi…

THE KARDASHIAN sisters are on the prowl! KHLOƒ KARDASHIAN was recently spotted canoodling with R&B artist TREY SONGZ in Las Vegas, while KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN and JUSTIN BIEBER snuggled in a Miami DJ booth. Meanwhile, screen badass EMILY BLUNT and funnyman JOHN KRASINSKI announced the birth of daughter No. 2, VIOLET, who arrived in late June. She joins big sis HAZEL, 2. “Once Upon a Time” star JOANNA GARCIA and husband NICK SWISHER are celebrating the birth of their second child, daughter SAILOR STEVIE. SAS, a supporting player on VH1’s “LOVE & HIP HOP: ATLANTA” was shot in the head when a July 3 party got out of hand. He’s fine, though. He says he has a thick skull! Author ELIZABETH GILBERT is no longer in “Eat, Pray, Love” with her…

PAUL SIMON’s still nasty after all these years, according to a bombshell new book! The folk-rock legend, 74, is a self-absorbed cretin and “just didn’t seem to care about other human beings,” writes Glenn Berger, a former Simon engineer. In “Never Say No to a Rock Star,” Berger reports the mini-musician trashed former singing partner Art Garfunkel, saying he wanted to show the duo’s success “was all me!” Slimy Simon even dissed anorexia-wracked warbler Karen Carpenter during a studio visit when she was recording her first solo album. Paul blasted her “in a voice that combined derision, snobbishness, concern and alarm … ‘Karen, what are you doing? This stuff is awful!’ ” recounts Glenn. Long thought of as a warm, soft-spoken musician, Paul’s “insensitivity was stunning,” charges the author.…

RAIL-THIN Ellen DeGeneres’ outof-control neurotic behavior is pushing her marriage to wife Portia de Rossi over the edge, spies say! The bony, beloved daytime diva is petrified of having another breast cancer scare, and sources close to the couple say Portia is at her wit’s end over Ellen’s paranoia! “After having a terrifying brush with breast cancer” in 2014 Ellen “feels like death is waiting for her around the corner,” a spy tells GLOBE. Portia has been outwardly supportive of her spouse, but Ellen’s relentless fears have “taken a toll on their relationship,” an insider says. In fact, one source says Portia believes Ellen — who weighs a shocking 98 pounds — has used cancer scares to keep Portia close and control her in the relationship! “Ellen knows Portia wouldn’t…

NOBODY is a bigger Jason Bourne fan than Matt Damon, who credits the fictional spy-on-the-run saga with saving his career! Damon, who nabbed a Screenplay Oscar for “Good Will Hunting,” hadn’t appeared in a hit film in FIVE years when the delayed Bourne film finally debuted in 2002. “I’d had two misses at the box office and everyone was anticipating that ‘The Bourne Identity’ would be the third,” he says, noting, “It just had the earmarks of something that might not work.” When the flick turned out to be a smash, “my career just completely did a 180,” admits Damon, “suddenly, I was getting all these offers.”…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 You’re raring to go under the fiery Leo sun, but getting fixated on insignificant issues slows you down. Stick ixated to the big picture for progress. Stay uninvolved when a troubled friend asks for help. Not all is as it seems! A small investment in a group lottery pool could return megabucks — take a chance! TAURUS April 21 - May 21 Interested in someone for romance? Be bold, Bull — ask them out! It could lead to an autumn wedding! Read the fine print and scrutinize each line before signing any paperwork! See the doctor midweek for reassurance that a health issue worrying you is nothing! The number six is lucky! GEMINI May 22 - June 21 The Aries moon sheds more light…

SKIRT-CHASING Pink Floyd keyboard whiz Rick Wright was a druggie who constantly cheated on his wife Franka and, after knocking up a groupie, pleaded poverty at their divorce, leaving her broke. Those are the shocking claims from Franka Wright, who suffered four miscarriages during their marriage, and takes credit for getting the legendary band back together after battling egos splintered “The Dark Side of the Moon” group in the early ’80s. In her new memoir, Franka also reveals how Rick and guitarist David Gilmour started talking to each other again “when it seemed they were over for good.” When the group that has sold more than 250 MILLION albums launched their 1987 tour, Gilmour told her: “Thank you for making this happen,” she says. Franka wed Rick in 1984 after…

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KYLIE & CO. OUT OF KONTROL KYLIE JENNER’s makeup company has a scored an ugly ‘F’ from the Better Business Bureau, racking up more than a hundred complaints in the nine months it’s been running. Criticisms range from poor service and delivery to missing items and empty delivery boxes Hey, Kylie … got any concealer? SOMETHING’S FISHY ABOUT JUDI James Bond’s boss is still a badass at 81! JUDI DENCH reveals she got “carpe diem” tattooed on her wrist to celebrate the milestone birthday. “That’s my motto: Seize the day,” explains the “Skyfall” spy chief known as “M.” But some pals teased “that it said ‘fish of the day,’ ” she chuckles. RITA’S RACY BEDSIDE MANNER Singer RITA ORA, who’s rumored to be taking over “America’s Next Top Model” from…

Medical news YOU can use! A ZIKA vaccine is on the way! Experimental trials with mice reveal that a single immunization shot made from a purified, inactive form of the Zika virus can prevent contracting the disease for at least two months, according to groundbreaking new research. Dan Barouch, of Boston’s Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, says the results are “a step forward in the development of a Zika virus vaccine,” but warns, “of course we need to be cautious about extrapolating results from mice into humans.” Still, the news is something to cheer about, since the disease — which leaves newborn babies with abnormally small heads (microcephaly) and other forms of brain damage — has created a global public health emergency, with Zika-carrying mosquitos found in more than 60…

GLOBE’S NO-NONSENSE OPINION PAGE GLOBE columnist Jeff Rodack tells it like it is about celebrities — how they get under his skin with their stupid antics and the nonsense they try to put over on the public. Here is his unique take on Hollywood newsmakers and fakers. I ALWAYS thought Kelsey Grammer was a toad. But it now turns out he’s a boozy toad. The man who shot to fame as Dr. Frasier Crane on TV has proven once again he’s just another Hollywood Hypocrite full of hot air — and something else! The sitcom legend has a history of booze and drug arrests and has spent time under house arrest and in jail. In 1996, he crashed his car and was busted for drunken driving and later checked into…

AMOROUS anchorman Matt Lauer has walked out on his wife and launched a sudden series of real estate moves — to protect himself against a $60 million divorce! That’s the word from insiders who say the “Today” host is preparing for a split from Dutch-born wife, Annette Roque, 50. “Matt’s taking stock of his assets and trying to cash out before stuff hits the fan,” a spy says. The 58-yearold host with a notorious wandering eye recently plunked down $36.5 million to buy Richard Gere’s massive North Haven waterfront estate near New York’s Sag Harbor and then put up his Southampton home for sale. “Matt is selling his $3.95 million Hamptons home and plans to pocket the cash, but he’s hedging his bets and buying another place nearby to keep…

LARRY HAGMAN’s amazed look in this German promotional photo may have something to do with curvy genie BARBARA EDEN granting his big wish — becoming a sitcom star on “I Dream of Jeannie.” From 1965 to 1970, the ditzy duo rocked the ratings as earnest astronaut Tony Nelson and lovable, trouble-magnet Jeannie. Larry later became the biggest star on TV as scheming oil baron J.R. Ewing on “Dallas.” He died at 81 in 2012. Barbara, now 84, has continued to work steadily, though she’s never again reached her magical “Jeannie” heights.…