Table of contents for 3 January 2025 in Chat

Welcome to this week’s Chat… Dating apps were supposed to make finding love easier. It’s how I met my husband — but pals who are still signed up tell me using them is now a pain. Same old faces, cringey messages, cancelled dates… I’ll make sure they read Helen’s story this week (p58). She’s had some dating shockers but she has definitely managed to find the funny side. If you’ve got a dating story to share — good or bad! — please let us know. Have a great week, PS If you’re entering the puzzles online, this is the link to use: comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Alodie Mitchell, 21, London Little white pins formed a neat row, like soldiers standing to attention. ‘Ready, aim, fire!’ I said, swinging the computer controller, knocking them down in one go. ‘Strike!’ I cheered. It was 2013, and me and my brother Cliff, then 13, were bowling on the Nintendo Wii. Aged 10, I was three years younger than Cliff. But he was my best mate. ‘Good shot,’ he said, high-fiving me. I loved having a big brother. Someone to play games with, someone to look out for me. We shared a bedroom, me on the bottom bunk, him on the top, giggling long into the night with silly jokes. But the following year, in 2014, things changed. ‘Let’s play another game,’ Cliff suggested one night. Leaning me against our…

Andreea Chaparro, 27, London With a sigh, I flicked off the TV. It was May 2020, two months into the Covid-19 lockdown, and I was stuck at home. Had watched every truecrime show Netflix had to offer and was bored stiff. ‘I need something to do,’ I told my mum Geta, then 46. I lived with her and my dad Alex, then 43. Had been single for years. Downloading TikTok, I watched vids to pass the time. Saw one posted by a woman who was a pen pal to prison inmates. Intrigued, I checked out the pen-pal website. Scrolled through the prisoner profiles. One pic stopped me in my tracks. Cage Chapparo, then 23. So handsome. In his bio, he described spending summers on the beach in Los Angeles. Just…

Checkouts beeped as shoppers lined the aisles of King Soopers supermarket in Boulder, Colorado. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Monday afternoon in March 2021. But at 2.30pm, as people filled their trolleys, there was carnage in the car park. A gunman on the loose. He’d stepped out of his car and opened fire, shot two people before entering the busy shop. Bangs rippled around the supermarket. Realising they were gunshots, shoppers ran for their lives. Terrified, a mum whispered to her son to stay low, not look and move fast. Another woman crawled on to a shelf and hid among bags of crisps. The gunman made his way down the aisles. ‘This is fun,’ he jeered, firing shots again and again. He chased those who ran, sought out…

1 Get outside early Exposure to morning daylight helps reset our body’s inner sleep clock. ‘Ideally, you should aim to get a minimum of 10 minutes of natural daylight within half an hour of sunrise,’ says neuroscientist Dr Rachel Taylor*. ‘Wrap up warm and have your morning cup of coffee on the doorstep.’ 2 Keep cool Are your radiators blasting at night? It might be hindering your slumber. ‘Sleep follows your core body temperature cycle and it goes up until about 10.30pm, then it drops,’ says Dr Michael Breus, aka The Sleep Doctor. ‘The drop is a signal to release the sleep hormone melatonin, so you need the drop to make sleep happen. If it’s too hot, no drop, no sleep.’ Naturally too toasty at night? Wear loose-fitting pyjamas and…

Natalie Hawkridge, 62, Derby Bursting with excitement, my son Sam, then 8, stared up at the giant red model rocket on Blackpool seafront. ‘I love it,’ he beamed. It was October 2004 and me, my husband Michael, then 48, and our sons Sam and Phillip, 5, were on holiday in Blackpool. Sam had autism, meant he liked routine. But he was having the time of his life. Fairground rides, the illuminations, arcades. Every night, Sam insisted we took the long way back to the hotel – to walk past the Thunderbirds model by the beach. Sam loved Thunderbirds, was obsessed with trains and numbers too. He’d count as we walked along the hotel corridor to our room, ‘220, 221…’ It was the way he was, one of his many quirks.…

Tracing its history back to 1799, the institution currently known as the Peabody Essex Museum is in which US city? Solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the prize puzzle answer. ACROSS 1 Animal with antlers (4) 5 Young sheep (5) 7 Capital of Italy (4) DOWN 2 _ Key, comedian and poet (3) 3 Type of fossil fuel (3) 4 Britpop band (4) 6 Hive dweller (3) WIN 4x £20 Puzzle 13 Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Hubby wants a boy Q I’m feeling torn up inside. I’ve given my husband three beautiful daughters, but I know he always wished for a son. I adore my girls but can’t stop feeling like a failure, like I’ve let my hubby down. How do I deal with this and embrace the joy of my family without feeling inadequate? Kimi, 34 A Goodness me. You’re not a failure, pet! You’ve given the world three amazing people, which is a treasure trove in itself. Perhaps having girls taught him more about himself than he ever thought possible! Do you really know that your husband dreamt of having a son or have you assumed that? Don’t drive yourself mad worrying about a problem that likely doesn’t exist. You didn’t make these kids on…

3 Ways to… boost your financial resilience Top tips to make you better able to cope with the unexpected… 1 Emergency fund It’s easier said than done, but having a pot of cash saved can help you prepare for any unexpected expenses like a car repair, but also if you lose your job or can’t work due to illness. While it’s generally considered that having three to six months’ essential outgoings available in an instant access savings account is a good rule of thumb to give yourself a solid financial cushion, any savings are better than none. So go through your budget and calculate how much you can afford to save each month. Check where you can cut costs too, so you can save more. Find more information, including whether you…

DRESSES STYLE TIP Go all out in head-to-toe shimmer. Look for waist-defining belts and clever ruching for a flattering finish. TOPS STYLE TIP Perfect for dressing up your jeans, an eye-catching top needs minimal styling. Opt for long sleeves for added warmth. ACCESSORIES STYLE TIP Elevate a simple look with a jazzy accessory. From party clutches to dancing shoes, they inject instant joy. FROM £8 SKIRTS STYLE TIP Team these shiny skirts with a cute knit for a cosy yet glamorous daytime look. Keep it feminine with a sleek flat.…

OVER TO YOU Can you set a puzzle in this format? Send it, with a photo of yourself, to the address on p5. There’s £20 for every one we use! This week’s puzzle was compiled by Jay Arrowsmith, Caistor, Lincolnshire WIN 5x £20 Puzzle 6 ACROSS 1 At that time 2 Do something again 3 The coloured part of an eye 4 Speck of dust DOWN 1 Have a haircut 2 A person who is admired 3 Make a change or correction 4 Something you use to smell with Your answer: CHAIN WORDS What word connects a cultural group from early Bronze Age Europe and a TV character played by actor Dani Harmer? Get from Start to Finish, making words by joining two boxes together as you go, eg: COO…

Gillian Kgotla, 29, Eastbourne, East Sussex A s I got to the school doors, I put my head down and started walking faster. My usual routine. But still the cruel insults came. ‘Half face!’ a girl shouted as I made my way along the corridor. ‘Ugly!’ a boy yelled, blocking my way into the classroom. I took a deep breath, smiled, then calmly stepped around him. Sat at my desk, took my books out of my bag. As I concentrated on the teacher’s words, I felt eyes on me. The student next to me was staring at my face. He quickly turned away. I couldn’t blame him. Every morning, I stared at my own face in the bathroom mirror. Scrutinising it. It was October 2011 and I endured daily bullying…

Sarah Clarke, 35, Leeds, West Yorkshire Rolling myself out of bed, my feet hit the floor. ‘Ouch,’ I gasped, pain shooting through my legs. Grabbing my walking stick, I shuffled to my wardrobe, pulled out a baggy shirt, some stretchy leggings. Glancing in the mirror, my tired, bloated face looked back. Another day of pain. It was January 2022 and at 33, I was living in the body of an OAP. I had fibromyalgia, sleep apnoea, chronic fatigue, shooting pain in my feet. Plus, my doctor warned I was at risk of diabetes. All because I was hugely overweight. Ever since I could remember, I’d been bigger than my friends. My appetite was insatiable. I’d finish my tea, then my sister’s, still didn’t feel full. Then I’d snack on crisps,…

Aries 21 March-20 April Stay focused on long-term plans to maximise your chance of success. You know what you want, so use your fiery energy to make your dreams reality. • Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May To feel more freedom, try taking up a hobby or visiting a new place. Even finding a different route to work will help you feel less shackled to your routine. • Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June You generally favour logic over intuition, but something feels off kilter and you need to honour these feelings. By trusting your intuition you will take a shortcut. • Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July Say yes to new invitations and opportunities. It’s time to…

Q How do you actually use a highlighter? I don’t want to look sweaty! Edie Douglas, 59, Exeter A If you’re heading ‘out out’ this New Year’s Eve, you’ll want to add a bit of sparkle. The key with highlighter is to go for something glassy and sheeny, not shimmery and glittery, which can add years. Concentrate highlighter on the high points of the face – temples, brow bone, cheekbones and a touch on the Cupid’s bow. Always apply in natural light if you can to help prevent streaks – you want everything to be blended seamlessly. E.l.f. Jelly Pop Glow Stick, £8, elfcosmetics.co.uk, comes in a handy solid stick. Dab where you need then buff out with your fingertip. Or there’s Make Up Gallery Glow The Distance Highlighter, £2.50,…

This week we meet… Steph O’Shea, 33, from Burntwood. Coffee or tea in the morning? I’m a coffee drinker and need two cups before I feel human! I’ll have a gingerbread latte first thing, followed by a regular decaf with a splash of sugar-free vanilla syrup and skimmed milk. What’s your favourite film? Angela’s Ashes as I have Irish roots. My dad emigrated to Birmingham from Ireland as a child. The stories he and my nan told me, about how tough life was, are very much represented in this moving film. Dream winter holiday destination? Iceland, even though I’m not a fan of freezing temperatures. But to be surrounded by snow, sledging and staying in a remote cabin with an open fire with my partner and children would be worth…

Ice and a slice I saved the plastic from the inside of an Advent calendar and used it to make ice cubes with pieces of sliced lemon for flavour. Perfect for parties. Elizabeth Shimmin, Douglas, Isle of Man Bright outlook I needed new reading glasses but couldn’t afford a bling pair. So I bought plain black frames and added my own sparkle with diamante stick-on gems. Claire Ferris, Studley, Warwickshire Tag yourself When it’s time to take down the Christmas cards, I don’t like chucking them in the recycling bin. Instead, I cut round the Christmas scenes, punch a hole and thread festive string through them to make festive gift tags, ready for next year. Claire Codling, Halifax, West Yorkshire Potty planter I love upcycling and felt inspired when my…

THE BIGGIE Presenter Gaby Roslin says that she and Robbie Williams became hysterical discussing what subject on her podcast? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the four-word prize answer. WIN £1,001 Puzzle 4 ACROSS 11 Soluble base or solution of a base (6) 12 Cycle arena with banked curves (9) 13 Fishes (4) 14 Wizard (8) 15 Person skilled in ninjutsu (5) 16 Cutlery items (6) 17 Railway track log (7) 18 Fact of taking part in (11) 20 Condition (5) 22 Strong disgust (9) 24 Counterfoils (5) 28 Tube for breathing while under water (7) 29 Country (7) 32 One who rents (6) 34 Wood preservative (8) 36 Words or drawings sprayed on walls (8) 37 Having existed for a very…

Work after a stroke Q After a mini stroke left me with slurred speech, temporary hand numbness and dizziness, I’ve now made a full recovery. Is it safe for me to go back to my job? Carla, Preston A A mini-stroke (TIA or transient ischaemic attack) is a temporary disruption in the blood supply to the brain. It’s important to know that if you’ve had one mini-stroke your risk of having another or even a full stroke is higher unless you manage certain factors such as blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar and stress. Your doctors will work quickly to reduce these risks. They might also prescribe medication to help prevent clots. Make sure you talk to your doctor about any concerns you have. With the right care, you should be…

Zoe Rebecca, 28, Newcastle upon Tyne My head sank into my fluffy pillow as I cuddled up to my teddy. ‘Night, Mum,’ I said, as she pulled my bedroom door shut. But moments later, something caught my eye. Eight long black legs scuttling towards me across my bed sheets. ‘Mum!’ I yelled, bolting for the door. ‘There’s a spider!’ Just 7 years old, I was already terrified of them. Growing up in a draughty old council house, they were everywhere. My mum, Lesley, then 42, kept the place spotless, but every night, we’d shake out our duvets before bed. Horrendous. As I got older, my fear got worse. I became a nurse and mum of two boys, born in 2013 and 2021. Could handle anything squeamish, like blood – easy.…

ARROW WORD WIN £500 Puzzle 10 In Zoroastrianism, which animals are considered sacred because the spirits of a thousand dogs are reborn in each one? Solve the puzzle by following the arrows and writing in your answers. Then read down the letters in the shaded squares to find the prize answer. Your answer: SUDOKU To solve the puzzle, each 3 x 3 box, each row and each column must contain the numbers 1 to 9. Solve the puzzle and the numbers in the highlighted squares will give you the prize puzzle answer. WIN 2 x £30 Puzzle 11 Your answer: WORDSEARCH WIN £40 Puzzle 12 Which of these precious stones was declared the state gemstone of Florida in 1970? The answer is the one missing from the grid. AGATE BERYL…

FILL ME IN WIN £100 Puzzle 14 All mammals have seven vertebrae in their neck, apart from sloths and which other animals? Solve the puzzle by following the arrows and writing in your answers. Then read down the letters in the shaded squares to find the prize answer. Your answer: CIRCLE TIME Pat O’Callaghan was the first athlete representing Ireland to win an Olympic medal in which event in 1928? Fit the words into the grid, then read down the letters in the shaded circles. 3 letters ARM ART GUM HUM HUT MET MUM RUT TUT 4 letters EAST SATE SEEM SMUG SMUT STEM 5 letters TAROT TIDAL TILER TIMER 6 letters MURMUR MUSHES MUTTER MUTUAL 7 letters TIDIEST TILLAGE Your answer: WIN £100 Puzzle 15 TO ENTER Turn to page…

Top tip If you don’t have any barley, make it without and serve with some crusty bread. Turkey and barley soup Warming and hearty, this bowl of goodness makes the perfect lunch. SERVES 6 PREP 20 MINS COOK 30 MINS • 400ml chicken or turkey stock • 1 large onion, peeled and finely chopped • 2 bay leaves • A few sprigs of thyme or rosemary • 1kg mixed winter veg – we used carrot, swede, celeriac and parsnip • 2 sticks of celery, finely chopped • 100g pearl barley • 600g cooked turkey, shredded • Small bunch parsley, chopped, to garnish 1 Bring the stock to a boil, add the onion and herbs, and simmer for 10 mins. Add all the vegetables, bring back to the boil, then stir in the…

Janice Parker-Cass, 63, Middlesbrough As tears welled in my daughter’s blue eyes, I wished I could do something to take away her pain. ‘I just feel so sad,’ she told me, staring down at her cup of tea. It felt like no time had passed since Laura was born. I remembered her being a toddler, running around with pretty pink bows in her golden curly pigtails. Back then I could take her tears away with a cuddle or a bag of sweeties. Now, it wasn’t that easy. It was 2015, Laura was 33, a teaching assistant and a mother of two. But her marriage had just fallen apart and my mum Joan had recently died, aged 84, and she was heartbroken about it all. ‘We’ll get through this together,’ I…

Solutions to Chat issue 47 (21 November 2024) Puzzle 2 Linnet Puzzle 3 Whales Puzzle 4 I would swear too much Puzzle 5 1C,2A,2B,3C,4B Puzzle 6 Tine Puzzle 7 Bass Puzzle 8 Sara Cox Puzzle 9 Diving board Puzzle 10 Islamabad Puzzle 13 Oahu Puzzle 14 Colette Puzzle 15 Tiber Puzzle 16 Lattes Puzzle 17 Sahara Puzzle 18 Wombles WE WON! Chat winners issue 38 (13 Sept 2024) £1,001 CASH DC Boxer, Enfield £500 CASH P Edwards, Congleton O Wilde, Warwick £250 CASH R Flint, Hemel Hempstead S Barnes, Shrewsbury £200 CASH CA Wilkinson, Nottingham £100 CASH S Park, Workington C Kerins, Cambridge R Moore, Southport £50 CASH S Flynn, Burntwood N Jones, Stockton on Tees C Davies, Doncaster M Ford, Chichester E Baldwin, Hemel Hempstead J Whybro, Dereham £40 CASH…