Table of contents for 5 October 2023 in Chat

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YOU'RE THE JUDGE! Angela Bledsoe, 44, was a busy working mum who lived for her young daughter. A ‘fantastic person’ according to her colleagues. When Angela wasn't at her financial consultant job in New York City, she'd be ferrying her little girl to her activities. Dance lessons, scouts and summer camps… Angela even found the time to volunteer with the Girl Scouts. Her partner – and the father of her daughter – was lawyer James Ray III. They'd first met through work in 2008. Become a real New York power couple. It seemed like Angela and James had everything. A beautiful daughter. Great jobs. A six-bedroom home in posh Upper Montclair, New Jersey. But scratch the surface and the truth was their relationship was troubled. In 2013, a young paralegal…

Q I'm slim from the waist up, but hate my heavy legs and bum. My GP calls it lipoedema – is there a cure? Lil, Lancaster A Most people haven't heard of it, but lipoedema probably affects as many as one in 10 women. Fat builds up in certain areas, usually the bottom, thighs and lower legs, giving you so-called ‘column legs’ with heavy thighs and thick ankles. It's not simply due to gaining weight, as the rest of you can stay slim, but seems to be triggered by hormone changes, such as pregnancy or menopause, and the tendency can run in families. The fat might look dimpled and become painful and tender. Regular exercise and healthy eating can help and your GP might suggest compression stockings. If lipoedema is…

TRUE-LIFE As I loaded drinks on to my tray, the head chef, Keith, then 28, flashed a smile. It was January 2017 and I was waitressing in an American restaurant. Me and Keith had not long started dating. We'd instantly hit it off, chatting about our love of travel, and he was so funny. Our relationship moved quickly and it wasn't long before I introduced him to my daughter Morgan, then 10, and son Corey, 8. I loved how easily he slotted into our lives. And when we discovered I was pregnant in December 2018, it was a nice surprise. Only, at the baby's 12 week scan, we were told something didn't look right. I had to have tests. Five agonising weeks later, in March 2019, a midwife called. ‘We've…

Did I make the right choice? Q Last year I accidentally fell pregnant. My hubby and I decided to not go ahead with the pregnancy as we didn't want kids at all. But now I can't help but think ‘what if’? My husband stands by our decision but I can't stop thinking about it. How do I make peace with it? Kirsty, 40 A Oh, sweetheart – please go easy on yourself. You made a difficult decision but it was the right one for you at the time. Torturing yourself now with what ifs won't change anything. You need to forgive yourself and move on. I would recommend looking into having counselling or therapy to help you through these complex feelings. Make sure you're sharing your feelings with hubby, too…

TRUE-LIFE Me and my husband Darren peered closely at the black and white photo in my hands. ‘Our first baby,’ I breathed. ‘Looks like a little pebble,’ Darren replied. I laughed – it was a perfect nickname. It was May 2021, and me and Darren, then 35, had been desperate for a family since we'd started dating in our early 20s. Now, it was happening! We'd tried naturally for three years with no luck before being offered IVF on the NHS in 2018. But before we could start a cycle, docs had discovered a 10cm non-cancerous cyst on my ovary. After waiting a year to have it removed, we'd then started IVF in January 2020. But before our one fertilised embryo was implanted, the COVID pandemic put everything on pause…

29 Sept-5 Oct 2023 Aries 21 March-20 April The Full Moon's in your sign on 29 September bringing an abundance of ideas. Don't be too hasty or you may repent at leisure. Keep calm and carry on. ● Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May Jupiter is now retrograde in your sign, giving you the chance to slow down. Where can you make changes, and how can you implement a more practical plan? ● Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June For you it's all about trusting your inner vision for the next few weeks. Screen out negative input and focus totally on what is most important to you. ● Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July Your gentle nature can…

Q I'm looking for a new scent for autumn but I don't want to spend a lot of money. Are there any options under £15? Karen Evans, Upminster, Essex A Perfume prices are really rocketing, with a lot of designer brands costing over £100. But luckily, the high street has various incredible, affordable fragrances to rival the luxury brands. Zara, in particular, are brilliant at scents – they even have a range created by fragrance icon Jo Malone. If you are a fan of sweet, fruity scents then Zara Wonder Rose, £12.99, will impress you. The scent combines notes of pear, peach and vanilla to create a gorgeous everyday fragrance. Maybe something more woody is your preference? Then you should try Next Whispers of the Forest, £12, which has notes…

What's your go-to takeaway? I can't resist a Mexican-style pizza, with extra jalapenos of course. The spicier the better! Favourite season? I can't wait for winter. I love the long chilly evenings, they're a great excuse to get the duvet out and curl up in front of a box set with a steaming mug of hot chocolate! Which celeb would you have over for dinner? I'd invite Alexander Skarsgård any day of the week, I have a massive crush on him and loved him in True Blood. Mind you, I don't fancy what his vampire character would want for dinner! Last person who made you smile? Definitely my husband Jason. He's absolutely hilarious and never fails to make me crack up laughing! What's your favourite thing about yourself? I love…

All sizes 8-24 TU at SAINSBURY'S STYLE TIP Team a long-line denim skirt with a shirt loosely tucked into the waistband, then add a chunky loafer. All sizes 6-22 F&F at TESCO STYLE TIP Slip on this mid-season coat for cooler days – great with a light knit and faded jeans. All sizes 8-24 GEORGE at ASDA STYLE TIP Western boots are everywhere; wear with your favourite jeans or try them with a flowy midi dress. All sizes 8-22 NUTMEG at MORRISONS STYLE TIP Wear a long cardigan as you would a coat, over dresses and separates, perfect for in-between seasons.…

True-life PATIENT CASEBOOK The news came as an awful shock. ‘Grandad has breast cancer,’ my mum, Jacqui, told me gently in 2013. Things like this don't happen to men, do they? I thought. But, of course, they did. My family learned his illness was caused by the BRCA2 gene mutation. Doctors explained the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes protect you from getting some types of cancer. But when those genes mutate, they don't work properly, meaning if you inherit the mutation, you're more likely to develop breast, ovarian and other cancers. Mum was tested first. ‘Positive,’ she said a few weeks on. ‘You need to get tested now.’ She was right. I arranged to see a genetic specialist at Great Ormond Street Hospital for tests, and like Mum's, my results were…

‘Knockeruppers’ were people employed in many industrial towns in the 19th and early 20th centuries to fulfil a role now served by what devices? To find out, solve the puzzle… Add a letter anywhere in each of the boxed-off words to fit the clue, eg, Jackets = COTS + A = COATS. Write the added letter in the space provided. Read down the added letters to spell out the prize answer. WIN 2x £50 Puzzle 8 Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Under-the-table romp In 2004, contestants Michelle Bass and Stuart Wilson found a way to get a moment of privacy, opting for a romp under the table. Viewers were shocked, but it cemented the pair as BB stars. The couple stayed together for a year after the show, but Michelle, who later became a full-time mum, hasn't heard from Stuart since. When Nick turned nasty Forever known as ‘Nasty Nick’, Nick Bateman arrived in Series 1 and soon broke the ‘don't discuss nominations’ rule to try and rig the game in his favour. His plan didn't work, but he's managed to capitalise on his infamy ever since, going on to write a book titled How to Be a Right Bastard. Did she bottle it? Contestant Kinga Karolczak made headlines during the…

When Xueli was born 18 years ago in Xuchang, China, the country had a one child policy. Because of overpopulation, the government allowed couples to have only one baby. And soon after Xueli was born, her parents learned that she had albinism. The condition is genetic, passed down by both parents. It means people with albinism, like Xueli, don't have the pigmentation that gives skin and hair its colour. They can also have a range of health conditions, including sight problems as well as a higher chance of getting skin cancer. As Xueli's birth parents were allowed only one child, to have one with albinism was considered to be bad luck. So her parents abandoned her, leaving her in the grounds of an orphanage. She was there until the age…

Top tip Serve with thick cream, ice cream or custard to make them even better. Foolproof chocolate fondant Rich and indulgent, this classic is easier to master than you might think. SERVES 8 PREP 5 MINS COOK 15 MINS ● Cocoa powder, for dusting ● 275g dark chocolate (at least 70% cocoa solids) ● 225g unsalted butter ● 400g caster sugar ● ½tsp vanilla extract ● 5 large eggs, beaten ● 200g plain flour, sifted You will need: ● 8 metal pudding moulds or ramekins brushed sparingly with melted butter 1 Heat the oven to 140C Fan/Gas 3. Dust the buttered pudding moulds with cocoa powder and shake out the excess. Set aside. 2 In a medium-sized saucepan, melt the chocolate and butter over a low heat. Remove from the heat…

Trotting through the front door, my daughter Karen, 9, threw her coat on the settee. ‘Where's Lyndsey?’ she asked, looking for her sister, then 5. ‘Playing across the street,’ I said, putting a chicken pie in the oven. ‘Can I go?’ Karen asked, vanishing out of the door before she heard my reply. I watched her dash over the road to her friend Nicola Fellows. It was October 1986 and my husband Lee, then 38, was away working, delivering furniture. Our son Darren, 11, was away with school and I was seven months pregnant with our fourth child. Twenty minutes later, I called the girls for dinner, but only Lyndsey came. ‘Where's Karen?’ I asked. ‘She told me to go away,’ she shrugged. Leaving Lyndsey with my mum Maisie, then…

Witch Cleansing Witch Hazel Toner, £3, Tesco Balance oily or combination skin post-cleanse with this detoxing toner. Apply some of this spotfighting formula onto a cotton pad and sweep all over to purify your skin. The witch hazel will help to prevent excess sebum production which leads to blemishes, as well as helping to soothe and reduce any existing ones. W7 Lip Splash Tinted Lip Gloss in Cranberry Crush, £4.50, w7makeup.co.uk Formulated with vitamin E and jojoba oil, this tinted lip gloss is so hydrating. With six versatile shades to choose from, there's an option for everyone. Providing both care and colour, this non-drying gloss works to keep your pout looking full, smooth and hydrated all day.…

Monday 9 June 2020 was an ordinary day on 10th Street in Oakmont, Pennsylvania. Earlier that morning, the laughter of local kids on their way to the nearby primary school had echoed through the air. By mid-morning, neighbours were mowing lawns, cleaning cars. Then, just after lunchtime, the peace was ripped apart when emergency vehicles screeched to a halt outside a white frame house. Neighbours watched as police and paramedics ran into the first-floor duplex. Confusion turned to horror when they emerged carrying the skeletal body of a little girl. ‘Who the hell is that?’ cried one neighbour, Amanda Keefer. ‘No one knew she existed. This girl was never outside… nobody had seen her… until she was carried out dead,’ next-door neighbour Andrew Hodge later confirmed. Everyone in the neighbourhood…

To Simon, Finding you in January 2017, as I swiped on a dating app, was destiny. You lived 15 miles from me, had kind blue eyes and a warm smile. After I dropped you that first message, we fell in love quicker than either of us expected. We had important things in common, you see. You'd lost your wife to brain cancer in 2016, while I'd needed a hysterectomy after a cervical cancer diagnosis in 2015. ‘I know how tough that must've been,’ you said. But we had such happy times, too. Laughed through dinner dates, and I got to know your children, Ryleigh, then 8, Charlotte, 11, Tyler, 22, and Matt, 23. Only, in December 2017 you struggled to eat, saying it hurt to swallow. We'd always blamed your…

TRUE-LIFE Cuddling up to me on the sofa, my boyfriend, Kenny, had an exciting question for me. ‘Will you move in with me?’ he asked. I didn't hesitate. ‘OK,’ I grinned back. It was summer 2021, we'd been dating for a year, and were crazy about each other. Lugging my bags through the door soon after, I imagined cosy nights in together and doing the big shop hand in hand. Domestic bliss. Only the man I moved in with was not the one I'd fallen for. Kenny became obsessed with my every move. Wanting to know where I was going, who I was with. Soon he was checking my phone, too. My only relief was my cleaning job, which I loved. But whenever I left the house, he'd call every…

Done and dusted My boots were looking a bit dusty. I wanted to clean them without damaging the suede, and found buffing them with a fluffy duster worked a treat! Jane Jefferies, Swindon, Wiltshire Two birds with one sponge If you've got a smelly sponge, soak it in white vinegar and microwave for three minutes. It will kill any germs on the sponge as well as the microwave, and loosen any spills ready to be wiped down. Claire Prince, Bootle, Merseyside Top of the pots Freezable baby food pots are great for paints once your little ones get a bit older. They can't be knocked over, and the lids stop them drying out! Helen Richardson, Sunderland, Tyne and Wear £25 For every photo tip that we print Gardening in a…

WIN £1,001 Puzzle 4 What do quizzer Paul Sinha and actor Katherine Parkinson have in common? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the four-word prize answer. ACROSS 1 Former footballer, _ Beckham (5) 4 Fifty per cent (4) 6 Caribbean island (8) 13 Hit for the Spice Girls (7) 14 Rachel _, star of The Notebook (7) 15 Time of darkness (5) 16 Amphibian (4) 17 Take small bites (6) 18 Sharpshooter (6) 20 Be jealous of (4) 21 Filthy (5) 22 Mistakes (6) 25 Formal event (8) 28 Pantry (6) 30 Very manly (5) 32 Strange (8) 34 Starts (6) 35 Iridescent gem (4) 38 Not long ago (6) 39 Total disorder (5) 40 _ Bardem, Oscar-winning actor (6) 43 Cudgel (4) 44 Royal seat (6) 45 All the people (8) 48 Go in (5) 49 Venue for gambling (6) 51 Person with brown hair (8) 54 European…

Stiff neck worry Q For years, my mum's neck has been constantly painful and twisted to one side – should she see her doctor? Ashley, Newlyn A She could have a form of uncontrollable muscle spasms and cramps called dystonia and should see her GP. Dystonia can affect any part of your body, but particularly your neck muscles and is most common in middle-aged and older women. Sometimes it might be triggered by a minor neck or shoulder injury, at other times it appears out of the blue and seems to pass in families. Spasm might pull your ear down towards your shoulder or twist your neck round to one side, and is often painful. It's impossible to straighten your neck voluntarily, and it hurts to try. Treatment might mean…

1 Morning workouts Women could benefit the most if they exercise between 6am and 9am, according to research*. The study found that women burned more body fat during morning exercise, whereas evenings counted more for men. It's thought that differences in hormones, biological clocks and sleep-wake cycles between the sexes could play a role. 2 Nibble on nuts They'll give you a hit of protein – essential for blood-sugar balance. ‘If your blood-sugar levels are all over the place, metabolically you'll be out of balance emotionally and physically,’ says clinical nutritionist Suzie Sawyer. In addition to quick protein snacks, plan to have protein at every meal. ‘Think eggs, meat, fish, beans, nuts and dairy produce,’ says Suzie. 3 Add avocado It's rich in potassium, a key mineral involved in regulating…

Click click click, clack clack clack. It was a sound I'd been used to since my childhood. My mum, Elizabeth, and my big sister, Lynda, tapping away with their knitting needles! Mum taught Lynda to make colourful scarfs, woolly bedspreads and jumpers. I learnt a little but could never get the hang of it the way Lynda had. The pair of them would knit away happily for hours, clickety clacking with their knitting needles and having a good natter. It was a passion that they shared for life. Lynda was really good. By the time she became a grandma, in April 2017, she had new inspiration. ‘He loves his plastic toy fruit,’ she told me. ‘But I think I can do better.’ Sticking with the food theme, she whipped up…

3 ways to… protect your home in autumn With burglary figures rising in the darker months, plan ahead to cut the chance of falling victim. 1 Sort your security Checking doors and windows are locked can stop opportunist thieves gaining entry to your home and getting insurerapproved locks fitted may help lower your home insurance premiums, too, advises Go.Compare. Burglar alarm systems, motion-sensor security lights and cameras can be a big deterrent to potential burglars, while laying gravel on paths and driveways can also be a deterrent, as it makes it harder to approach your house without being heard. Cut back any bushes outside your house, which might make an easy place for would-be thieves to hide in the shadows undetected. Lock away ladders and any tools, too, which a criminal…

Lacura Luminous Filter Foundation, £4.99, Aldi Available in six shades, this sheer base is formulated with finely milled powders to help blur the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles for an airbrushed finish. H&M Eyeshadow Quad in Feeling Peach, £8.99 Everything you need to create gorgeous make-up looks is in this metallic eyeshadow quad. Mix and match the hues to create endless looks for both day and night. PS… Creamy Face Wash, £2.50, Primark Packed with vitamin E and organic rose, this gentle face wash is suitable for all skin types. The vegan, crueltyfree formula works to clean your face without stripping away moisture. Sienna X Exfoliate Scrub, £14.99, sienna-x.co.uk Lime pearl caviar acts as a natural exfoliant to buff away dead skin cells and reveal silky smooth skin. This…