Table of contents for October 31, 2016 in Globe

NEW Queen Kate has blown a staggering $1 million on a shop-’til-youdrop spending spree — sparking the first major crisis in her five-year marriage, say palace insiders. Despite shocking reports the royal family is secretly broke, Kate, 34, has amassed a huge wardrobe of designer outfits and shoes while spending thousands more on hair, makeup, spas and personal shoppers and trainers! Prince William went berserk when he found out, says a royal source. “What were you thinking?” he yelled at his wife after they returned from their trip to Canada last month. “My grandmother ordered us all to cut back expenses. Elizabeth is going to be furious!” As GLOBE reported in the Jan. 25, 2016, issue, dying Queen Elizabeth’s personal $750 million fortune is almost gone, wasted on bailing…

TALK about chutzpchutzpah! Hip-Hop hottie DRAKE has hooked up with social media star INDIA LOVE WESTBROOKS after dating her big sister CRYSTAL WESTBROOKS! Professional weirdo SHIA LABEOUF is off the market — what a relief! The Transformers star wed girlfriend MIA GOTH in Las Vegas last week. The Dancing With the Stars workplace romances continue! Pros SASHA FARBER and EMMA SLATER are engaged after five years of dating. Orange Is the New Black star LAURA PREPON and Hell or High Water actor BEN FOSTER are engaged after a whirlwind romance. Total Bellas star BRIE BELLA is expecting her first child with WWE wrestler hubby DANIEL BRYAN. Former Spice Girl GERI HALLIWELL, aka Ginger Spice, is expecting her second child — and first with husband CHRISTIAN HORNER, who she wed in…

KELLY CLARKSON made her husband get snipped because she’s done with pregnancy hell! “I was literally pregnant with Remy, and I was like, ‘You are getting fixed. This will never happen to me again,’ ” the 34-year-old pop star and mom of two says of husband Brandon Blackstock’s vasectomy. Carrying daughter River, 2, and son Remington, 6 months, was such a miserable experience that Kelly has no desire to ever try pregnancy again — she was hospitalized both times! “It’s horrible. Nothing is beautiful, nothing is magical,” she shudders. “If something happens, it’s a miracle of God,” the Breakaway singer assures. “I literally told my OB/GYN on the table while open, ‘If I get pregnant again, I will find you!’ ” It’s a good thing Brandon tied it all up!…

DON’T MISS... Madam Secretary Sun., Oct. 30, CBS, 9 p.m. Elizabeth (Téa Leoni) must find a way to respond to a “dissent memo” after a bombing in Angola creates political tension. People of Earth (Series Premiere) Mon., Oct. 31, TBS, 9 p.m. The Daily Show’s Wyatt Cenac and Saturday Night Live alum Ana Gasteyer star in the new sitcom about a support group for alien abductees. The 50th Annual CMA Awards Wed., Nov. 2, ABC, 8 p.m. Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood are back to co-host country music’s biggest night, live from Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena. Karen Carpenter: Goodbye to Love Sat., Nov. 5, REELZ, 9 p.m. The two-hour documentary digs deep into Karen’s troubles and explores what led to the singer’s tragic demise from anorexia nervosa. JACK’S NOT BACK, BUT…

PARTY-HEARTY Tanya Tucker has just three months to live, pals fear! Struggling to breathe before a scheduled Watertown, S.D., performance, the fiery 58-year-old Texas Tornado was airlifted to a Nashville hospital! Now her reps are saying Tanya suffers from an “upper respiratory infection,” not deadly pneumonia — but sources insist she’s barely clinging to life! “It’s much worse than her people are letting on!” says a country music insider. “She may not have much longer.” Her last wish before she dies is to be reunited with the love of her life, Glen Campbell, who is also on his last legs with Alzheimer’s, the insider says. “Glenn remains the great love of her life,” notes a source — despite a sea of booze, brawls, drugs and suicide attempts before their inevitable…

A MORBIDLY obese Nevada woman has lost an astonishing 273 lbs. — thanks to sexercise with her a muscular, younger boyfriend! At her heaviest, Patty Sanchez of Reno tipped the scales at a jaw-dropping 714 lbs. — and once wanted to top 840 lbs. and become the world’s heaviest woman! Now 52, she’s dropping the excess flab through exercise, nutritious meals — and boatloads of hot sex with 38-yearold stud Bryan! “We do yoga and weightlifting for 30 minutes every day,” explains Patty. “We also burn a lot of calories in the bedroom. We can’t keep our hands off each other!” She blames her ex-boyfriend for her obesity. He was turned on by her fleshy physique and encouraged her to pack on the pounds. “He had fantasies about making me…

MADONNA’S WILD MATERIAL WORLD! Want to see MADONNA in Miami Beach in December? You’ll have to shell out between $5,000 and a whopping $150,000 to watch her express herself! The wrinkle-ravaged Material Girl’s pricey performance is supposed to raise funds to help poor kids — but she’s been branded as stingy with her own charity cash. Still, the $150,000 package gets you a table for 10, access to a VIP cocktail reception — and a meet-and-greet with Madge. Thanks, but no thanks! BOSOX BEN STRIKES OUT! Thrown out at home BEN AFFLECK is such a die-hard Boston Red Sox fan he stopped dead in his tracks at the Los Angeles red carpet premiere of The Accountant to watch his team lose to the Cleveland Indians on a reporter’s phone!…

A MORONIC hitman fulfilled a contract killing — by gunning down the wrong man with the right name! Contract killer Chad South was paid $10,000 in 2006 to kill Daniel C. Ott, an infamous car thief. But instead of tracking down the then-69-year-old thug, who lived in Akron, Ohio, the hopeless hitman went to the home of law-abiding 31-year-old Daniel E. Ott of Burton Township, Ohio — 50 miles from Akron! Bonehead South was sent on his deadly mission by inmate Joe Rosebrook — a chopshop owner who was busted after Daniel C. Ott became a police informant — and his moneyman brother, Carl Jeffrey Rosebrook. But the hapless hired killer broke into the wrong man’s house and found Daniel E. Ott in bed with his girlfriend. Realizing his mistake,…

PHOTO FIND Hidden in the box of letters are the names of some celebrities. Use the photos below to help you work out the clues! The names have been split into two and can be found in straight lines up, down, forward, backward or diagonally. The leftover letters will reveal the name of another celebrity. How to enter & contest rules, page 56. WIN $100 MOVIE WATCH Penélope Cruz has appeared in all the movies below. See if you can unscramble them. How to enter & contest rules, page 56. 1. VINYL LAKSA 2. BOWL 3. HER LETHAL PETS STORY 4. OWN MONO TAP $100 PRIZE CROSSWORD Fill out the puzzle for fun and profit! How to enter & contest rules, page 56. WIN $100 ACROSS 1. Mick Jagger’s group,…

Medical news YOU can use! THE curse of the chrome dome is finally broken! Billions of dollars in research have been spent to cure baldness, and the hairchallenged now have TWO breakthrough treatments to explore! One solution targets immune cells and stops them from attacking hair follicles. The other uses 3D printers to make new hair follicles! The drug ruxolitinib jumpstarts hair growth for sufferers of spot-baldness disease alopecia and its more severe form, alopecia areata, which affects men as well as women and can wipe out hair anywhere on your body! A staggering 75 percent of men with moderate to severe alopecia showed significant hair regrowth after taking ruxolitinib over four months, say researchers at Columbia University Medical Center. “This is encouraging news for patients who are coping…

WHAM! POW! CRASH! TV Batman Adam West can’t stand the “deepseated angst” of Hollywood’s version of the Caped Crusader! Calling the flicks “very dark,” the 88-year-old has some advice for Ben Affleck who will play the Gotham great in the next flick: “Enough violence. Let the costume work for you. And put a little humor into it. I think it’s about time to relieve all of that kind of attitude of vengeance and ‘I can’t take it anymore, I’m going home and I’m going to suck my thumb.’” SPOT THE EVIL TWIN Were these celeb look-alikes separated at birth?…

WOMEN SEEKING MEN FL. 016-075 Correctional institute inmate. I’m 46 look 30, 5’6”, 160 lbs, brown eyes, black hair, measurements 40-30-38. A sweet, sexy diva, luscious chocolate treat. I enjoy writing, slow dancing, cuddling, the home life, cozy set tings, beaches. I ’m seeking fr iendship to develop into a lasting relationship and to relocate upon release. Write me. Let’s become good friends for now and more later. OH. 016 - 076 Born in Europe. US citizen, widow, 72, 5’8”, sl im, act ive, honest, sincere. Ready to meet an honest man with high morals and respect. Letter, photo. KY. 016-083 Correctional institute inmate. 31 year old SWF. ISO someone to fall in love with. I’m down-toearth, love spending time with my significant other. Haven’t been with anyone for 12+…

GH STAR DELIVERS NAKED TRUTH! Laura Wright (Carly, General Hospital) started a new diet and exercise program a few months ago — just as her 21-year marriage to John Wright was ending — and it’s turned her life around! “I was really sick a lot,” she recalls. “For six months, I’d feel better and then get sick again. I was still really struggling with the end of my  marriage — feeling better about it, but probably not really dealing with it. And I thought, ‘I have to do something.’“ Now that she’s fitter and lighter, the actress notes, “I had a love scene with Maurice [Benard, Sonny] today and I was wearing Spanx and I had stick-on boobs, trying to look naked. Six months ago, I would have been mortified.…

ANSWERS Word Square: aether, athlete, earth, ether, father, feather, haft, hale, haler, half, halt, halter, hare, hart, hate, hater, hatter, heal, healer, hear, heart, heartfelt, heat, heater, heel, heft, here, lath, lathe, lather, leather, reheat, rhea, teeth, tether, that, theater, theatre, thee, theft, there, thereat, theta, threat, three Name the Star: Elton John Initials: The Bridge on the River Kwai, Dexys Midnight Runners, Bram Stoker, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, One Day at a Time 20-Second Challenge: 49…

HEARTBROKEN widow Celine Dion is trapped in a romantic nightmare — she is still desperately in love with her late hubby-manager, René Angélil, and is haunted by him every waking moment! “I’m still in love with him,” the 48-year-old songbird says. “There’s a song from Sia, ‘I go to sleep and imagine that you’re there with me.’ “And I go to bed with him. And I come on stage with him. And so I’m still married to him.” René, father of her three sons, died at age 73 from throat cancer on Jan. 14. He began managing Celine when she was 12. He was 38 when they wed 14 years later in 1994. Now, in a bombshell admission, Celine confesses that René was the only man she’s ever made love…

POTTY MOUTH BILLY BUSH got the bum’s rush from Today show bosses after his shockingly vulgar videotaped antics with Donald Trump caused a national firestorm! Today insiders say show powerhouses MATT LAUER, AL ROKER and HODA KOTB said the former Access Hollywood star had to be booted from his duties hosting the gabfest’s third hour. Staffers feared Bush’s sexist comments when Trump appeared on Access Hollywood in 2005 would sink Today, which is locked in a ratings war with ABC’s Good Morning America. On the jaw-dropping video clip, Billy encourages lewd comments about his thencolleague NANCY O’DELL as well as Days of Our Lives actress ARIANNE ZUCKER. “Billy says he’s ‘embarrassed and very ashamed,’ but he bragged to pals about the existence of that tape while covering the Olympics…

FOX NEWS headliner Megyn Kelly’s more than just a pretty face! The 45-yearold blond bombshell is a legal eagle, a seasoned reporter, a published author, a mom — and a serious mover and shaker. Here are 10 things you didn’t know about The Kelly File host Megyn! 1 Former hotshot trial lawyer Megyn got her law degree from Albany Law School in 1995. 2 She switched to news because, “I had this little voice in me saying, ‘I am more interesting than this.’” 3 Megyn started out as a freelance reporter for the ABC affiliate in Washington, D.C. 4 She joined FOX News in 2004 — and nabbed her first show, America Live, in 2010! 5 She says her role model is Oprah Winfrey, “because she was just so good,…

AS THE frightening “killer clowns” outbreak continues to spread across America, two reallife bozos have been caught spooking innocent people! Michigan teens Jaime Salinis and Elandra Sledge, both 18, were busted on Oct. 6 for scaring the holy hell out of two rattled 14-year-old girls. The panicked victims barreled into their local police station “in hysterics” after claiming they were chased by two clowns who drove up, screeched to a halt — and started running after them! Thankfully, the 14-year-olds managed to escape and alert the police, who scoured the area for suspects. Sure enough, officers spotted the scary, multi-colored jokers and chased them down. The two women were wearing “what would be considered full clown regalia from head to foot and stated they thought it was funny…

IT’S wedding bells for Anderson Cooper — because his mother’s sick of the openly gay bachelor just shacking up! The 49-year-old CNN anchor’s planning a spring wedding to club owner Benjamin Maisani, 43 — and Gloria Vanderbilt is thrilled! “Anderson’s turning 50 next summer, so he finally figured it was time to take the plunge,” a pal dishes to GLOBE. “It took a nudge from Gloria to make it happen!” Meddling mom Gloria, 92, wheedled her silver fox son to the altar! “Gloria knows she isn’t going to live forever; she dreamed of having one more big, happy occasion in their family’s lives before all is said and done,” explains the friend. “Anderson held up against her pressure — until now!” Anderson and Benjamin have been together since…

SCIENTOLOGY kingpin and Tom Cruise best bud David Miscavige is tangled in an explosive and embarrassing hooker and drug scandal! Whitney Covington, the 29-year-old niece of the feared cult boss, is accused of soliciting sex from a cop! She was busted after offering to perform a sex act on an undercover police officer in his car! Whitney, the daughter of David’s twin sister, reportedly climbed into the cop’s vehicle on April 15, asked to see his penis, “and kept asking to see it,” according to police in Clearwater, Fla. — the town that hosts the cult’s headquarters. She THEN agreed to buy drugs, and drove with the officer to a local drugstore where she got out and met with a suspected dealer, say cops. When she returned to the car,…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 Whoops — your usual organization and efficiency’s gone missing! Blame it on Mars and Neptune clashing — but it’s just temporary! You’ll soon be getting your house organized! Midweek brings good news about a tax or insurance issue. A treat spices up the weekend, for singles and marrieds! TAURUS April 21 - May 21 Get going now on that project you’ve been secretly planning — the cosmos promises rapid growth and great financial potential! Venus smiles on singles, bringing an introduction that could lead to Christmas wedding bells! Look for the kindness beneath someone’s crankiness on Saturday! GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Ferreting out family worries and fears suddenly feels more important than anything else! Ask a compassionate Cancer for advice on resolving…

Inspector Clouseau looks clueless. That’s not unusual for the clumsy, dim-witted, but arrogant French cop played brilliantly by PETER SELLERS in the 1963 comedy-mystery The Pink Panther. Clouseau hilariously mispronounced words with his French accent like: mehrder (murder), minkey (monkey), bimp (bump) and reuhm (room). Clouseau was just a supporting character in Panther as David Niven was supposed to be the primary star, but Sellers’ performance was so terrific, he spawned a slew of flicks starring Inspector Clouseau. One of Clouseau’s most memorable lines — he accuses a suspect, saying, “You killed him in a rit of fealous jage!”…