Table of contents for May 20, 2024 in Globe

PAW-SITIVELY DOG-TIRED Freddy Got Fingered funnyman TOM GREEN gives his pooch CHARLEY a lift after leaving his late-night comedy show in Philadelphia LIP SERVICE Child’s Play scream queen JENNIFER TILLY mouths off during a whirlwind visit to the Big Apple HITTING A ROUGH PATCH Curb Your Enthusiasm’s LARRY DAVID sports a bandage after being successfully treated for skin cancer THE SINGLE FRIGHT Tousled TORI SPELLING is flying solo after splitting with hubby Dean McDermott — but the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum looks worse for wear AIR GUITAR JOHN STAMOS hits a high note while rocking out with The Beach Boys at California’s Stagecoach Festival SHE’S ALL FAT Bottle blonde AMANDA BYNES — former kid star of Nickelodeon’s All That — admits a bout of depression has made her pack on…

NCIS star Sean Murray is terrified his estranged wife, Carrie, is set to take him to the cleaners with a nasty divorce, according to sources who say he’s leaning on his co-stars, including acting rival Wilmer Valderrama. The 46-year-old, who plays Special Agent Tim McGee on the hit series, has amassed a $25 million fortune — but a chunk is up for grabs as Carrie seeks sole physical and joint legal custody of their kids, Caitlyn, 16, and River, 13, plus legal fees. “The worst has yet to come and he’s bracing himself for the fall,” spills an insider. The source adds Carrie’s March divorce filing has thrown Sean for a loop and “everyone at NCIS feels bad for the guy … Sean’s having a hard time emotionally and his co-workers are…

DISGRACED movie mogul Harvey Weinstein’s 2020 rape conviction was overturned in the Big Apple — but insiders squeal the portly pariah’s disgusted family is still determined to shun the sex creep until his dying day! A New York appeals court recently ruled Weinstein, 72, deserves a new trial because now retired judge James Burke made an “egregious” error by allowing three women whose alleged assaults were uncharged in the case to testify against him. Despite the victory, tipsters say Eve Chilton and Georgina Chapman — the former Miramax hotshot’s ex-wives — and his adult children with Eve — daughters Remy, Emma and Ruth — have effectively disowned the dirtbag! The ex-producer remains on the hook for a 16-year sentence in California after being found guilty of raping an actress in…

GAL RAPPER ROCKED BY LIMO-SEX LAWSUIT Rapper MEGAN THEE STALLION’s former private cameraman EMILIO GARCIA had a chance to snap some super-sizzling pics of the Hot Girl Summer singer, but blew it. During Megan’s tour in Ibiza, Spain, Emilio says he, the star and three gals were returning in a limo from a night on the town when “Stallion and one of the other women start going at it beside [him].” Now, the picture snapper is suing Megan, claiming he was “embarrassed, mortified and offended throughout the” sex romp. Plus, the next day, he says the star threatened him, saying: “Don’t ever discuss what you saw.” She also began “fat-shaming” him, he claims, calling him a “fat b****” and saying, “you don’t need to be eating.” Later, he quit, allegedly…

SANDRA OH There are no fringe benefits for the Grey’s Anatomy doc in a fringed tee-like dress GLENN CLOSE The 101 Dalmatians villainess finds herself in a spot of boredom in an unexciting pantsuit ERYKAH BADU Music’s mad hatter looks like she’s leapt from the pages of a Dr. Seuss book MARIA SHARAPOVA The tennis legend serves and scores in a dramatic draped dress with sculpted shoulders EMILY OSMENT The Young Sheldon star’s see-through skirt isn’t a smart choice as she looks underdressed…

STARLET Freya Allan is monkeying around on the big screen as a feral human in Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. But the British beauty is no stranger to fantasy franchises, having appeared in the BBC drama The War of the Worlds and playing Ciri, the Lady of Time and Space, in Netflix’s The Witcher with Henry Cavill. Here are ten things you don’t know about the freckle-faced 22-year-old. 1 She attended Oxford’s Headington School, whose former pupils also include Harry Potter’s Emma Watson and Jeffrey Epstein’s sex slaver Ghislaine Maxwell. 2 She appeared on the cover of Schön! in 2019 as the fashion magazine celebrated its tenth anniversary. 3 She was only 16 when she was recruited for The Witcher as the minor character Marilka before being quickly…

A MISSING rescue cat named Sam just completed an incredible journey — he’s finally back in the laps of his astonished owners after five years, five states and 1,200 miles. “It is a miracle!” purrs Cindy Hall, who has been pining for the pet ever since Sam went on the lam five years ago. “We had him for seven years and then one day he got out,” says Cindy. Long after the cat-astrophe of losing Sam, Cindy and hubby Jeff Hall moved from Arizona to Nevada — which still doesn’t explain how the now 12-year-old Russian Blue furball they adopted as a kitten wound up in Arkansas. And while that mystery may never be solved, at least the cat came back — even though they thought he was a goner!…

Standing desks are bogus + TRENDY standing desks are a waste of money, says a top physiotherapist, because there’s no proof that slouching in a seat is bad for you! Manchester Metropolitan University researcher Dr. Chris McCarthy insists most back and neck pain isn’t caused by poor posture. “It’s probably related more to other features of life — such as how stressed or physically active you are and if you have previously had back pain,” the musculoskeletal expert explains. “Sitting is not dangerous.” New med for menopause + MENOPAUSE may not be inevitable, according to scientists who say they’re developing an injection that could halt the natural hormonal decline experienced by middle-aged women. Researchers at Oviva Therapeutics say their experimental fertility treatment, which controls how many eggs are released by…

GENERAL Hospital soap siren Haley Pullos is getting caged for three months after pleading no contest to DUI! Pullos, 25, was slapped with the jail sentence one year after lawmen say the boneheaded beauty drove the wrong way on a Pasadena freeway while drunk and high — and collided head-on with another car. The tarnished star — who was dropped from the daytime drama after her arrest — was also ordered to pay over $8,000 to the injured driver.…

GOD-FEARING fans are accusing recovering porn addict Kanye West of selling his soul to the devil after the Jesus Walks rapper announced plans to launch his very own adult entertainment studio! Less than two years ago, Kanye — ex-husband of sex tape star turned reality queen Kim Kardashian — moaned about X-rated indulgences having “destroyed” his family. The bipolar performer, 46, also charged, “When grown men look at porn they are watching someone’s daughter relive trauma for money.” Yet, sources snitch the Yeezy fashion mogul — who’s been gleefully parading around wife Bianca Censori in nearly naked getups — is angling to kick off a skin biz venture as early as this summer! But the news isn’t sitting well with Bible-thumpers — and Kanye shut down his social media accounts…

BLESS their beautiful hides! The bouncy 1954 musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers features catchy tunes and groundbreaking dances using everyday farm implements like axes and sawhorses as seven horny brothers in the Oregon Territory kidnap potential mates! HOWARD KEEL and Jane Powell lead a cast of professional dancers — but choreographer Michael Kidd originally turned it down! “Here are these slobs living off in the woods,” he complained. “They have no schooling, they are uncouth, there’s manure on the floor, the cows come in and out — and they’re gonna get up and dance? We’d be laughed out of the house!”…

PRESIDENT George Washington was a redhead! Only 2 percent of the global population have the genetic mutation. A CONTINENTAL breakfast consists of pastry, fruit and coffee. The term originated in 19th-century Britain where folks’ morning meals consist of eggs, bacon, sausage, beans and toast. PRIOR to birth, babies spend 95 percent of the time sleeping in the womb! THE pyramid on the $1 bill is the only building on a U.S. bank note that’s not located in Washington, D.C. In fact, it doesn’t exist at all. A BRISTLECONE pine in California’s Inyo National Forest put down roots about 4,800 years ago. Known as Methuselah, it’s the oldest living individual tree in the world. IT’S a vast lie! Historians say there is absolutely no evidence pirates ever made treasure maps! Aargh!…

MACHO martial arts master Chuck Norris loves roughing it — even at age 84 — and is dragging wife Gena O’Kelley into the wilderness even though sources say she’d rather be glamming it up at a five-star watering hole. Sources snitch the Walker, Texas Ranger alum knows as much about surviving in the wilderness as he does about martial arts — which is plenty! “Chuck loves camping and turned Gena on to it years ago,” explains an insider. “They love to four-wheel it to a remote spot, pitch a tent by a nice lake, do some fishing, cook over an open campfire and get in touch with nature. “It really recharges them — Chuck especially. Sleeping under the stars with nothing but wild critters around also gives them a thrill…

CODE BREAKERS Each letter of the alphabet is represented by a number. Use the given letters to get started by filling them in throughout the puzzle. Look out for patterns like repeated letters. Codebreaker puzzles use all 26 letters of the alphabet. There are no trademarks, abbreviations, hyphenated nor foreign words on the grid. INFINITE OPTIONS Mystery words clue: A quote by Oscar Wilde REFERENCE GRID MYSTERY WORDS WORD SEARCH Circle the hidden words in the grid, crossing them out in the list as you find them. Words can go horizontally, vertically, diagonally and backward. ALMOND ANISE AROMA BAKING BOWL BROWN SUGAR BUTTER CHOCOLATE CINNAMON CLASSIC CREAM CUTOUT DELIGHT DOUGH EGGS FROSTING GINGER ICING KITCHEN MELTING NUTMEG OVEN PEPPERMINT PISTACHIO PLATE POWDERED SUGAR RECIPE SALT SPATULA SPICE SPOON SPRINKLE SWEET…

GOOP gal Gwyneth Paltrow has gone all gloppy over her 18-year-old son, Moses, heading off to college! Paltrow, 51, revealed at her company’s 11th annual health summit last month being an empty nester — 20-year-old daughter Apple is already out the door — is “giving me a nervous breakdown!” But the actress counts herself lucky for having a posse of similarly freaked-out mom friends. “We’re kind of in it together!”…

SUPER diva Barbra Streisand got caught in a firestorm for rudely asking online if newly slim Melissa McCarthy’s eye-popping weight loss was due to the diet-craze drug Ozempic. The 82-year-old music legend lit the inferno when svelte Melissa, 53, posted snaps on Instagram of her and director-choreographer Adam Shankman attending an April 28 Center Theatre Group Gala in L.A. The Funny Girl failed to get any laughs when she posted, “Give him [Shankman] my regards — did you take Ozempic?” Backlash came swiftly as outraged posters blasted the showbiz icon as a “major Boomer aunt” for thinking she was chatting with Melissa over coffee and cookies in the kitchen. “Does she not know everyone can see her comments?” one poster says. Writes another, “Babs. No, honey. Just no.” A third…

AGELESS Alejandra Rodríguez hopes to be the oldest ever Miss Universe contestant after snagging the Miss Buenos Aires crown at 60! The leggy lawyer leapt at the opportunity to strut her stuff against gals less than half her age after the worldwide pageant revamped long-standing rules on age. Since its debut in 1952, Miss Universe required hopefuls to be 18 to 28 years old, single and have no children. But last year, the organizers opened the field to any woman between the ages of 18 and 73! That allowed aspiring beauty queen Alejandra to chase — and win — her city title, setting the stage for her to compete for Miss Argentina and potentially go on to the global contest! The former journalist, who currently works as a legal adviser for…

THE Osbournes once starred in their own reality series, but the royal rock family was more messed up than the cameras showed — daughter Kelly reveals she nearly bought the farm after her brother Jack shot her in the leg! “You shot me!” the TV personality, 39, accused her sib on a family podcast. “And I almost died!” “I did shoot you!” Jack, 38, admitted. Mom Sharon tried to quell the kerfuffle by dismissing it as horseplay. “It was a pellet gun,” says Jack. “But you can still kill someone with a pellet gun!” Patriarch Ozzy has embraced his darker side, but Kelly detailed the pain her baby bro inflicted on her: “It was like someone putting a hot poker through my leg!”…

SINFUL teacher Reagan Gray, 26, sexually abused a 15-year-old boy for nine months during her tenure at Little Rock Christian Academy after meeting the kid while volunteering at one of Arkansas’ biggest churches, lawmen say. Gray is accused of preying on the child between September 2020 and May 2021 during her work with the youth group and music ministry at Immanuel Baptist Church, which was once attended by skirt-chasing former President Bill Clinton. According to investigators, the scheming sicko bombarded the boy daily with nude selfies and demanded he reciprocate — and lured him into a physical relationship. However, an affidavit states the unholy harpy told the victim she would not go further than oral sex so he could “stay pure.” Court papers allege the church sent the mouthy maneater…

SEXY chef Giada De Laurentiis confesses she left Food Network after 21 years because she worked so hard cooking in their kitchen she “burned out.” The 53-year-old hottie, who now sells Italian products under her Giadzy brand, created and hosted a slew of shows during her time including Emmywinning Everyday Italian and Giada’s Weekend Getaways. “I would switch gears every seven years,” she says. “I really worked so hard for so long. I got burnt out.”…

COMMITMENT-shy Ryan Seacrest’s dumped galpal Aubrey Paige is furious and bitter — with insiders saying the TV host strung the young model along for three years believing they’d get hitched before suddenly pulling the plug. The couple parted ways in April, a sour disappointment for the 26-year-old beauty, who’s churning with animosity inside, say sources. “Ryan’s definitely sugar-coating this by saying they’ve got nothing but respect for each other, but Aubrey’s got an ax to grind,” spills an insider. “This is three years of her life down the drain. She stuck around believing a ring was coming and then maybe a baby. “She’s put up with his workaholic ways and acted as his glorified assistant at times.” Meanwhile, the 49-year-old TV mogul, who hosts American Idol and a radio show,…

DEVASTATED Britney Spears is crying poor and moaning she’s on the brink of financial ruin after settling her conservatorship lawsuit with dad Jamie by agreeing to pay his $2 million legal fees and getting nothing in return. After quashing the 13-year conservatorship run by her father, she clobbered Jamie, 71, with a lawsuit in March 2021 charging he’d drained off $6 million from her bank account while keeping her like a prisoner and spying on her with a security team. Now, the 42-year-old Gimme More singer’s had to settle the suit by footing his legal bills and hers at $4 million while getting zero back. “Britney’s been burning a hole in her savings for years now, fighting Jamie and expecting a big cash return from him once the case was…

DESPERATE to reconcile with his estranged family, Prince Harry is telling wife Meghan to get off her high horse and apologize to the royals, but the diva duchess refuses to give any ground, sources tell GLOBE. “Harry wants Meghan to stop being so stubborn and apologize for the sake of the common good, but the word is she’s just not ready to do that,” spills a spy. Harry, 39, is making a trip across the pond to celebrate the tenth anniversary of his Invictus Games charity. According to our mole, the runaway royal wants his 42-year-old wife to join him, but she still wants no part of a family she feels rejected her. “Meghan won’t be going anywhere, saying that she’s too busy working on her new lifestyle brand, Netflix…

POP icon Jon Bon Jovi must have been singing about himself when he crooned “You give love a bad name” because the Jersey boy confesses he “got away with murder” living like a rock star — with “100 girls in my life” despite being married! Jon, 62, insists wife Dorothea, 61, was a saint to put up with him from the time they started dating in 1984 and after their 1989 nuptials. He praises Dorothea for “what she did to keep their [four] kids right, what she does to keep me right.”…

A BREW-LOVING Texas man is suing his local movie theater for allegedly underpouring his beer! Shane Waldrop claims the Cinemark in Grapevine charged him $9.53, including tax, for what was billed as a 24-ounce brewski — but says they served him the suds in a puny 22-ounce cup, which is the result of “deceptive” sales practices! “Defendant advertises that it sells two sizes of draft beer,” says the complaint filed in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Texas. “These two sizes are advertised as a 20 oz version and a 24 oz version and sold to paying customers with the plastic containers containing marks that list the alleged number of ounces the containers hold.” With a dollar difference in price between the sizes, Waldrop figures he’s been “financially…

O.J. SIMPSON was one of the greatest football players ever when it came to dodging tacklers, and off the field, he was too damn good at eluding paying for his biggest and most horrifying crimes. The former NFL running back and lying creep died at 76 of prostate cancer April 10, never paying — in jail time or money — for the savage knife slaying of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson, 35, and her 25-year-old friend Ron Goldman. Thanks to his crafty legal Dream Team and cops’ blundering attempts to frame him, O.J. was acquitted of the gruesome murders at his Trial of the Century on Oct. 3, 1995. But the fork-tongued fiend was found responsible for their deaths at a civil trial two years later and ordered to pay…