Table of contents for January 16, 2017 in Globe

BARKING UP THE WRONG PLANE Snooty KELLY OSBOURNE insisted her Pomeranian pooch fly with her from L.A. to the Big Apple, but tried to get another passenger’s pitbull pup banned from the flight. According to OZZY’s kid, the pit — a service dog — went after her rat-sized lapdog earlier in the LAX parking lot. But Kelly’s howling fell on deaf ears. Airline bigwigs allowed the other dog onboard — about 10 rows behind the first-class seat of Kelly and her teacup pet — and there was no further problems. ARNIE’S NERDY MIRROR IMAGE Buff ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER may be an action hero and a bodybuilding champ, but he thinks he looks like crap. “When I look in the mirror, I throw up,” confesses the New Celebrity Apprentice boss. Even when…

KILL-CRAZY Mexican drug runners have executed another innocent American who was at the wrong place at the wrong time while fishing on “Death Lake,” which is split down the middle by the U.S.-Mexico border. Now worried law enforcement officials fear a brutal border war is about to erupt as teed-off Texans vow to seal off the lake which has Zapata, Texas, and a state park on one side and the Mexican town Nuevo Leon on the other. Americans swim, boat, jet ski and fish for bass in the waters of Falcon Lake, aka La Muerte del Lago, while bloodthirsty henchmen of Mexico’s Zetas drug cartel use it as a kickoff point to smuggle their deadly products across into the U.S. Texas fisherman Oscar Garza, 26, and his pal Javier Gonzalez,…

PHOTO FIND Hidden in the box of letters are the names of some celebrities. Use the photos below to help you work out the clues! The names have been split into two and can be found in straight lines up, down, forward, backward or diagonally. The leftover letters will reveal the name of another celebrity. How to enter & contest rules, page 56. WIN $100 $100 PRIZE MOVIE WATCH Kiefer Sutherland has appeared in all the movies below. See if you can unscramble them. How to enter & contest rules, page 56. 1. OH OPEN BOTH 2. TIDY RACK 3. FLIRTS LANE 4. GUYS ON GNU CROSSWORD Fill out the puzzle for fun and profit! How to enter & contest rules, page 56. WIN $100 ACROSS 1. Foxy Lady singer/guitarist,…

Charlie’s Angels beauty Drew Barrymore looked like a “disheveled bag lady” just days after her divorce from third hubby Will Kopelman was finalized. “She talks like she’s great, but that’s not the case,” says an insider. “She’s an emotional wreck.” The 41-year-old E.T. child star’s marriage to the 39-year-old art dealer, dad of her daughters Olive, 4, and Frankie, 2, lasted almost four years — a lot longer than her five-month union to her second hubby, weird comic Tom Green. Now, pals of Drew, who has done several stints in rehab, fear she’ll revert to her bad habits because of the heartwrenching divorce.…

NICOLAS CAGE has been offered the lead in a movie about Ronald Reagan — but the flfloundering actor fears fallout from liberal La La Land! The long-ago Oscar winner, who’s recently starred in a string of stinkers, is worried casting the conservative legend in a positive light will hurt his Hollywood street cred — despite the fact he hasn’t helmed a hit in years! But bashing a dead president may be his only smokescreen to hide a deadin-the-water career.…

BIG-HEARTED country singer Randy Travis gave the gift of music to a Texas cop who lost everything when fire destroyed his family’s Gainesville home. Officer Keith Bartlett, who dabbles as a musician, had two guitars reduced to ashes by the blaze. Randy, who has battled back from a crippling stroke, replaced the instruments with an autographed guitar! It was his way of saying thanks after Keith helped investigate a theft at Randy’s ranch last year. ›› “The real lover is the man who can thrill you just by touching your head or smiling into your eyes — or just by staring into space.”-Marilyn Monroe SPOT THE EVIL TWIN Were these celeb look-alikes separated at birth?…

AMERICA’S Sweetheart Debbie Reynolds suffered the symptoms of a violent stroke while planning the details of her daughter Carrie Fisher’s funeral – and tragically died just hours later! Now friends are saying GLOBE’s beloved former advice columnist “died from a broken heart” and “couldn’t bear the thought of losing one of her children.” Debbie, 84, and frequently confined to a wheelchair, collapsed Dec. 28 at her son Todd’s Beverly Hills home. The Unsinkable Molly Brown and Singin’ in the Rain superstar was rushed by ambulance to nearby Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where she died. A family source said the heartache caused by Carrie’s tragic passing was to blame for Debbie’s demise because she was “under so much stress” despite insisting she was fine. Another source in the family said Debbie had…

GLOBE WORLD EXCLUSIVE! FURIOUS over Hillary’s crushing election loss and aching to be free to chase other women, Bill Clinton is divorcing his wife and forcing her to accept a years-old secret pact to split their $127 million fortune! Amazingly, the brazen 70-year-old ex-president is using the threat that he’ll testify against Hillary, 69, before a secret grand jury investigating her emails if she tries to fight his $83 million slice of their assets. “Bill is eager to be away from frumpy Hillary,” says a source. “Frankly, at 289 pounds, she’s way too hefty for him — despite Monica Lewinsky. His taste runs to blondes with smoking-hot bodies. He’s been cheating on Hillary for years and wants to be free. “He’s already indicated he’ll testify against her — and cooperate…

HUGH JACKMAN may have won over comic-book fans by playing Wolverine, but his reach as an actor spreads way beyond geekdom. The Aussie has shown his range with lead roles in the action film Van Helsing and the rom-com Kate & Leopold — and he’s hosted the Tony Awards four times! Here are 10 things you didn’t know about hunky Hugh. 1 Olivia Newton John was Hugh’s childhood crush — he even kept a poster of her he’d smooch! 2 A communications major, he took a drama theory class his final year and was instantly bitten by the acting bug. 3 A wrestling fan, Hugh showed off his moves in a 2011 mini matchup with the WWE’s Dolph Ziggler. 4 Sydney-born Hugh won international acclaim for playing the all-American role…

CHRISTIE TOO UPTOWN FOR COUNTRY BOY JOHN After dating for a year, supermodel Christie Brinkley, 62, and 65-year-old rocker John Mellencamp called it quits over the summer. While distance and the couple’s “heavy career demands” cracked their relationship, their opposing lifestyles doomed the romance, say sources. John is “a country boy” used to quiet, open spaces while Christie, 62, “is a socialite” who loves the big city’s bright lights and goes “out for the opening of an envelope.” As one of her previous four hubbies, rocker Billy Joel, noted in his hit tune, she’s an “uptown girl.” John is also no bargain as a hubby. He’s been married and divorced three times. While both were leery of walking down the aisle again, a source says Christie still issued him an…

Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire’s web of partying and gambling wrecked his marriage to Jennifer Meyer, 39, after nine years. Despite being a 41-yearold hubby and father to Ruby, 10, and Otis, 7, Toby spiraled out of control with his “constant partying with his best buddy Leonardo DiCaprio and gambling with Ben Affleck,” insiders say. Tobey was still struggling with lingering demons from a 10-yearold drug-abuse battle that cast a pall over his married life, a source says. Now, pals are watching to see if the split will sink the actor’s stalled career for keeps. Jennifer’s dad is Ron Meyer, Vice Chairman of NBC Universal. “He will be furious at how he’s treated Jen,” a source says.…

Johnny Depp’s pals accused his wife, Amber Heard, of being a gold-digger, but the bisexual blonde made the Pirates of the Caribbean hunk walk the plank by charging he battered her — and showed up in court sporting photos of her bruised and battered mug. Depp, 53, and Amber, 30, were married for less than 18 months when the stunning, young beauty stormed out in May. She claimed the silverscreen adventurer Jack Sparrow hit her on several occasions — including a scrap that left her with a black eye! Johnny was also humiliated when a video was leaked online showing him apparently drunk and in a rage as he stormed through the kitchen while screaming at her. On Aug. 16, the couple reached an agreement for Amber to walk away…

✚ THERE’S a new secret weapon in the fight against gonorrhea — and it’s probably in your medicine cabinet! Australian researchers claim Listerine mouthwash is an effective medicine with men who have the bacteria in their throats. In a clinical trial of nearly 200 subjects who gargled with the rinse, a whopping 80 percent were less likely to test positive for the sexually transmitted disease just five minutes later! Lab tests also showed the mouthwash stunted bacteria growth in culture dishes, while saline solutions failed.…

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAY ARIES March 21 - April 20 Just because a partner or co-worker is in a bad mood doesn’t mean you need to be, too! Think twice before burning a bridge midweek — you may need to cross it again, especially if it involves housing. Cupid takes aim at single Rams this weekend — that mysterious stranger could be your soul mate! TAURUS April 21 - May 21 Venus in Pisces has you pondering ways to enrich a relationship, and a savvy Leo suggests how to do it. Midweek fifinds you feeling anxious, but a long walk, even around the mall, will boost your mood! Someone special offers unexpected words of support just when you need them this weekend. GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Your sunny outlook attracts…

2017 UNITED STATES DISTRIBUTION NOTICE: NATIONWIDE – The phone lines are ringing off the hook. That’s because U.S. State Silver Bars sealed away in State Vault Bricks are being handed over to U.S. residents at just the state minimum set by the Lincoln Treasury for the next 2 days. This is not a misprint. For the next 2 days residents who find their state on the Distribution List above in bold are getting individual State Silver Bars at just the state minimum of $59 set by the Lincoln Treasury. That’s why everyone should be taking full Vault Bricks loaded with five U.S. State Silver Bars before the deadline ends. And here’s the best part. Every state resident who gets at least two Vault Bricks is also getting free shipping and free…

WOMEN SEEKING MEN IN. 016-112 Military widow, late 60s, 5”, 116 lbs. Lost my honey in March. Would like to meet someone to fill this big house with me. Northern Indiana, Norte Dame, someone to say “Merry Christmas, honey.” CO. 016-114 SF, 5’10”, 150 lbs., fiery cuddle bunny. Excellent health. Honest, sincere. ISO honest, tall guy. LTR. Anywhere, 50-70, fun loving, adventurous. No lies, no inmates. Photo, letter. FL. 016-120 Correctional institute inmate. Adoring, loving SWF ISO LTR. Honest, faithful, outgoing, k ind, car i ng, gent l e , genuine, funny. Seeking someone special to share my life with. Will relocate. Released soon. NY. 016 -12 5 Cu t e , lightskinned DBF, 68, 139 lbs., 5’7”, very active, love blue jeans and Jesus. Come grow old with me.…

BLOWHARD Alec Baldwin makes peanuts trying to mock president-elect Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live! The asinine actor says he gets $1,400 for each SNL appearance but insiders snicker that bloviator Baldwin has no clue of the art of the deal. “He’s ruining his career with all the Trump supporters in America,” says a TV insider. “Plus, SNL is a top-25 ad earner. TV spots earn well over $100,000! “So he’s getting chump change. Or maybe I should call that Trump change!” That’s got to irk the actor who, as GLOBE reported previously, is still smarting over claims his ex-wife Kim Bassinger once made a pass at the future billionaire president! trivia 1 Who played Bea Arthur’s fourth husband Walter on Maude? 2 On the original Knight Rider, what does…

POPULAR DAYS PAIR BACK CHRISTIE CLARK and Austin Peck will reprise their role as Carrie and Austin on Days of our Lives on Jan. 11. The pair, who last worked together in 2006, didn’t hesitate to come back. “I have said hello and goodbye to Days of our Lives so many times,” notes Clark, 43, who first appeared in 1986 as a child. “Sometimes it’s on my terms, sometimes it’s on theirs. ... And it always comes, for me, at a point where I’m desperate for a little bit of that soap opera, glamorous life, you know? I’ve been changing diapers and doing the mommy duty for a while, so it was so thrilling just to get back into those shoes.” As for Peck, now 45, “I was nervous,” he…

HOPELESS junkie Dejah Hall finally cleaned up her life after her wasted face horrified her grandfather. “I was a monster. I was a monster in every sense of the word,” says Dejah, 26. “I was killing myself, but I still felt I looked beautiful.” “I was killing myself, but I still felt I looked beautiful.” Her downhill slide began when she became addicted to pain medication at just 17. Dejah tried to kick it, but a boyfriend got her hooked on heroin while she was going through withdrawal. “He was smoking heroin, and told me to take just one hit to stop the withdrawals,” she says. “But one hit wasn’t enough. By the second hit I fell in love with the high. I couldn’t stop.” From April to December 2012,…

The Godfather of Soul JAMES BROWN overcame severe poverty and early career failures to become one of the most influential entertainers in American history. This picture captures The Hardest Working Man in Show Business in the recording studio in 1965. It was a pivotal moment in his career — as the R&B hero would cut, Papa’s Got a Brand New Bag, a landmark album featuring funk classics Cold Sweat and Get Up Offa That Thing. The dizzying dance tunes turned Brown into an international star. His silky moves stopped at the age of 73, when he died of pneumonia on Christmas Day 2006.…

THE gut is gone on Rob “Meathead” Reiner! The All in the Family star has dropped 77 pounds in six months — thanks to drill sergeant spouse Michele’s diet demands! “Rob had ballooned to more than 300 pounds and was a CERTAIN fatal heart attack waiting to happen!” spills a source close to the 69-yearold actor-director. “Michele saved his life!” Desperate to turn her hubby’s health around, Michele Singer put the henpecked Hollywood legend on specialforces portions, sources say. “Michele was fed up with Rob stuffing himself like a buffalo,” dishes an insider. “She put him on STRICT boot camp diet! “Rob’s not allowed to eat desserts! He can’t even LOOK at meals bigger than his fist — and he’s only allowed red meat when SHE gives the order. “Michele’s…

DOLLY PARTON’s My People Fund distributed $1,000 to 884 families left homeless by a Great Smoky Mountains forest fifire. The Shahs of Sunset is feeling the love — ex-star LILLY GHALICHI is engaged to boyfriend DARA, while GG said, “Hell yes” to beau SHALOM. Arresting development: Police Academy star STEVE GUTTENBERG proposed to CBS News reporter EMILY SMITH — and she said yes! Former Bachelorette JILLIAN HARRIS’ baby daddy JUSTIN PASUTTO is putting a ring on it — he popped the question Christmas Day. Their son, LEO, was born about five months ago. Suicide Squad sweetheart MARGOT ROBBIE got hitched Down Under to director TOM ACKERLEY at an ink-credible wedding — guests had the Dec. 19 date tattooed on their bodies so they’d never forget! Reality TV hunk NICK LACHEY…

ALAN THICKE’S grieving widow Tanya Callau is coping with duel tragedies — her hubby’s shocking death and the fact they never had kids! Tanya, 41, longed to start a family with the beloved “Growing Pains” star, but Alan — who already had three sons from previous marriages — kept stalling her, sources say. “When Alan and Tanya first met, she couldn’t wait to be a mom,” an insider told GLOBE back in July. But Alan “didn’t want to be an 88-year-old dad when his kid graduates high school.” Now, after Alan’s death at 69 from a ruptured aorta, Tanya admits to “gut-wrenching sadness and unbelievable grief” after burying her “soulmate.” “It’s a double loss for Tanya,” says an insider. “Everyone’s heart breaks for her.”…

Jennifer Lopez’s rocky five-year love-in with toyboy Casper Smart ended after the hunky dancer left her stranded at a fund-raiser in New York’s Apollo Theater to hang out with his buds at an Ultimate Fighting Championship match in Vegas! Casper was body-slammed when he got back – and J. Lo got sweet with ex-hubby Marc Anthony, who’s her baby daddy. After kissing Jen on the lips at the Latin Grammys, Marc filed for divorce from wife No. 3 Shannon DeLima. Word around Hollywood is Lopez and Anthony are making beautiful music together — again!…

Mariah Carey’s moneybags fiancé James Packer booted her because of her pop-diva ways, but her craving for hunky backup dancer Bryan Tanaka was the final straw, say sources. Aussie James and her fans can see the 47-year-old Emotions songbird fawning over her 33-year-old Dreamlover on her new E! docuseries, Mariah’s World. Mariah landed billionaire James when the 49-year-old tycoon fell head-over-heels for the curvy thrush after meeting her at one of her Las Vegas shows. Packer’s ardor cooled as he struggled to cope with her outrageously lavish lifestyle and “how she always puts her career and image ahead” of him, a source says. Mariah’s time-draining work with hunky Bryan on Mariah’s World drove a nail into the relationship’s coffin, a spy says. So after popping the question, which she accepted,…

TUBBY and ailing Starsky & Hutch legend David Soul is skipping the classic cop drama’s L.A. reunion — because the trip could kill him! Now crushing the scales at 262 pounds, the 73-year-old actor insists, “Due to my medical condition, I have been advised by my lung specialist that I shouldn’t risk the 11-hour-plus flight” to Hollywood from his London home. “I’m truly sorry.” David, who played undercover cop Hutch for four seasons starting in 1975, was set to appear at a show with former co-stars Paul Michael “Starsky” Glaser, 73, and 70-year-old Antonio Fargas, who played Huggy Bear. But experts say long-haul flights pose the danger of deep vein thrombosis (DVT) — a blood clot created by sitting for long periods that travels to the lungs causing a deadly…