Table of contents for 4 May 2023 in Chat

When Laura was just a child, a grown man who should have protected her did the opposite (p6). After painful years, she got justice and found happiness. But it’s upsetting to know that Laura’s abuser isn’t the only one out there, and that many other women have suffered like she has. It’s why I’m so grateful to everyone who shares their story in Chat. Whatever is happening in our lives, it helps to know we’re not alone.…

Opening the cafe door to the smell of sizzling bacon, I skipped to the counter in my black trousers and red school jumper. There, my mum Caroline, then 29, rang up an order on the till. ‘Can I have some money for sweets?’ I pleaded. It was late 2005, and aged 9, I’d pop by to see Mum at the cafe where she worked most days after school, before playing out with my mates. ‘Sorry love, not now,’ she replied, hurrying off to the kitchen to fetch an order. With me and my siblings Chelsey, then 7, and Nathan, 11, at home, Mum worked two jobs to pay the bills. My dad David, then 43, lived separately. Just then, one of the regulars thrust his chubby hand out. ‘Here’s a…

What do actors Liz Hurley and Stephen Fry have in common? To find out, solve the crossword then read down the shaded squares to find the three-word prize answer. ACROSS Checkmarks5 Organofsmell4) Typeofvinegar8) Students12-month break (3,4) Setapart7 Castoutbanish(5) Precipitation4 Follow-up6 Eight-leggedcreature6 Woodwindinstrument4 Destroys5 SportplayedatWimbledon(6) Scalpproblem8 Partofashirt(6) Spicytomatosauce5) Buildingmaterial8 Evil6 Monster4 Getawayfrom6) Short-leggeddog5 Birdofprey6) Longhike4 End6 BBCrealityshow (8) Actorinacrowdscene (5) Solitary6 Homeloan8 High-kickingdance3-3 Indianstringedinstrument5) Hirecar4 Placewherefoodiskept (6) HorsethatwontheGrand National three times (3,3) Divineaura4 Neatandtidy5) Artistsmixing board (7) Smallstonefruit7) Abandoned8 Aquaticmammal4 Transparent5 DOWN Championgolfer55) Starsign9 Hideand children’s game (4) Romanemperor4…

Q My ingrowing toenail is agony and I can hardly walk – what should I do? Mildred, Bishop’s Stortford A Ingrowing toenails seem to be becoming more common and around one in 125 of us develop one every year. They mean that the sharp edge of a nail is digging into the skin beside it causing pain and, eventually, infection. Usually they happen when you haven’t cut your toenails properly and have cut off the corner, allowing the nail to burrow sideways into the skin as it grows. Tight shoes, sweaty feet and deformed nails can also be to blame. A podiatrist can advise about the right shoes, how to cut your nails straight across, and wearing scraps of cotton wool between the nail and the skin to force them apart,…

Q I have a trigger finger that clicks and sticks. Will it get better on its own? Andrea, Catford A A so-called trigger finger will bend normally but then gets stuck and won’t straighten unless you force it, which causes a snapping feeling and sometimes pain. It usually affects a middle or ring finger or your thumb and happens when the tendon, or sinew, that pulls your finger becomes snagged. This can be because of swelling due to arthritis or diabetes, or when a nodule, or lump, forms on the tendon. Occasionally a trigger finger could get better on its own if you wear a splint to help rest the tendon and allow the swelling to reduce, but treatment usually means a steroid injection around the tendon. If this doesn’t…

Olio Make the most of leftovers by connecting with pals and local businesses to fight food waste. Shops and cafes often have food nearing expiry, or neighbours have bought too much. Just scroll through the listings, offer or request whatever takes your fancy and arrange collection with a private message – easy! Save Your Wardrobe Buy less, not more with this app that’s part personal stylist, part fairy godmother. Snap photos of the clothes you already own and let the app help you put together outfits. It also offers tips on repairs and upcycling, and ideas on where to donate or swap. Snoop This fab app links up with your bank, sees where you shop, then alerts you to potential discounts based on your spending habits. It also tells you…

We're total opposites Q I’m shy and I struggle in social situations. But my boyfriend is the exact opposite and he leads all the conversations and he talks over me a lot. He says he gets frustrated and would like me to be more chatty. I’d like that too but it’s hard for me. Do you have any advice? Katy, 24 A You can’t be anything other than yourself, flower. But if you’d like to feel more confident, you can always try striking up convos with a nice compliment. Make-up, clothes, shoes, hair colour people always warm to you after that! But there's nothing wrong with being quiet, pet. Lots of couples have different qualities. It’d be dull if we were all the same! Don’t change for anyone other than you.…

Aries 21 March-20 April Jupiter is helping you to think big, so be bold and go for it! You have two more weeks of this planet in your sign, so make the most of this time. • Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May The Sun is in your sign right now, shining the light on your many talents. So make the most of this positive energy, especially when it comes to your work. • Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June Are you feeling the benefit of Venus being in your sign yet? If not, then it’s time to shift your perception and focus on all the blessings in your life. • Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July Mars…

Q How often do I need to exfoliate my face? Can I do it every day? Miranda George, Portsmouth A Exfoliation is an important skincare step - it helps buff away dead skin and leave your skin looking clearer and brighter. However, it’s essential not to overdo it. Over-exfoliation can harm your skin, leaving it sore and sensitive, so two to three times a week is plenty. What type of exfoliator you use matters, too. Traditional gritty scrubs suit dry or oily skin but they can be too harsh on sensitive types. Use these types once a week at the most. Botanics All Bright Purifying Face Scrub, £5.49, Boots, is nicely gritty without feeling too scratchy. Exfoliating acids may sound scary but they’re a kinder way to exfolíate. Polyhydroxy acids,…

As reggae music played in a New York nightclub, Lydia Feliciano watched as her ex-boyfriend made his way across the dance floor. ‘You see I'm here,’ he said, smiling sarcastically. It was 25 March 1990, and Lydia had broken up with Julio Gonzalez six weeks earlier. They’d been together for six years. He was desperate to win back her affection. Now, standing before her in the upstairs nightclub, Happy Land, where she worked as a coat checker, Gonzalez was telling Lydia that he loved her. Only, she didn’t want him back. Told him she didn’t need him. Seemingly unfazed, Gonzalez walked away. Got himself a drink at the bar downstairs. But the jilted lover’s anger had been sparked. Half an hour later, Gonzalez went back upstairs to find Lydia. ‘You…

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Pulling on a blazer, my son James, then 10, grinned at himself in the mirror. ‘Does it look all right, Mum?’ he asked. ‘Really smart and grown-up,’ I smiled, ruffling his blond mop of hair. As James disappeared back into the changing room to try on his spare shirts, I marvelled at how it felt like only yesterday that I was packing him off for his first day of infants. Now it was September 2017 and we were uniform shopping for his first day at secondary school. He looked the part in his black blazer, crisp shirt and shiny shoes. It didn’t last long, of course. As soon as James started at school, he’d come home with grass stains on his knees, ketchup down his untucked shirt. He’d be in…

YOU’RE THE JUDGE! For over a century, the Murdaugh family were the coast of South Carolina’s answer to 1980s soap Dynasty, with their wealth and privilege. The family established a law firm in 1910, run by three generations of Murdaugh men. Each one also served in public office, working consecutively as the chief prosecution lawyer for the Lowcountry area. In charge of bringing criminals to justice. Until Alex Murdaugh, that is. While he inherited the family surname and red hair, he had little of the talent. Rather than succeed his father, he became a volunteer prosecutor while working for the family firm as a personal injury lawyer. Thanks to the Murdaugh wealth, he and his collegesweetheart wife Maggie enjoyed a 1,700 acre estate, two private islands and all the trappings…

Help! What's in my wee? Q Sometimes my wee looks cloudy with bits in it. Is that normal? Rosie, Renfrew A Could be, although if it happens regularly, doesn’t clear after drinking plenty of water or you have pain, pee blood or feel unwell, you should see your GP. Even when it looks clear your urine contains microscopic bits – cells from the lining of your bladder, a few white blood cells, fragments of mucus and specks of protein. One cause of cloudy or bitty urine is simply dehydration, when your wee becomes so concentrated that you can see these fragments inside it. Other causes include an infection of your bladder (cystitis) or kidney, bladder stones, or liver or kidney damage. An infection in your vagina, such as thrush or…

1 Improves mood Making love triggers the body to produce endorphins – feel-good chemicals that reduce stress and increase feelings of calm. ‘Sexually active women in long-term relationships are less likely to feel depressed than women who go without sex*, as intercourse prompts the release of serotonin, a natural antidepressant,’ says sex and relationships expert Alix Fox. 2 Wards off heart disease Those endorphins do more than just make you feel good – they also help to prevent heart problems by naturally neutralising your stress hormones. Research in Israel found that women who had two orgasms per week were 30% less likely to have heart disease, while scientists at Queen’s University, Belfast, discovered that sex three times a week could halve the chances of having a stroke or heart attack. 3 Burns calories…

Radio 1 DJ Vick Hope narrated a 2019 revival of which Channel 4 reality TV series, first broadcast in 2000 with actor Andrew Lincoln narrating? To find out, solve the puzzle… Add a letter anywhere in each of the boxed-off words to fit the clue, eg, Shave = HEAR + S = SHEAR. Write the added letter in the space provided. Read down the added letters to spell out the prize answer. WIN 2x £25 Puzzle 9 Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

The Tripolitanian Republic, the first such republican state in the Arab world, existed from 1918 until 1922 in what is now the territory of which country? Solve the crossword, then read down the yellow squares to find the prize puzzle answer. ACROSS Lackingflavour5 ActorMcKellen (3) Whatoneseeswith(4) _, song (1,1,1) DOWN Biblicaltower5 Frenchwordforgoodbye(5) Racket3 Beastofburden3) WIN 4x £20 Puzzle 13 Your answer: TO ENTER Turn to page 56 for details or visit comps.lifedeathprizes.com/puzzles…

Q I’ve got a boyfriend but have been having an affair with a much older, married man and he has kids. I love my boyfriend but I can’t imagine life without my lover. He’s has even said that he’ll leave his wife and kids for me and wants to get married. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Cathy, 32 A We’re way past not wanting to hurt anyone, sweetheart. You say you can’t see life without your lover - it doesn’t seem like you care much about his family’s feelings. And your partner deserves much more than this. Show him some respect by coming clean. Stringing him along isn’t kind. It’s time to make a choice.…

truly Chat! Strangers often don’t believe that 9-year-olds She’riq and Te’riq Elliott are twins. Even when they hold hands, play together and dress the same, people are shocked to hear they shared a womb. ‘We’re totally different,’ She’riq giggles. ‘He’s funnier than me, and I’m just kind of calm.’ But more surprisingly, She’riq has albinism, meaning that unlike most twins - who, if not identical, at least often look similar, - she doesn’t look anything like her brother. ‘We have 9-year-old twins, they were born different,’ mum Sherria says. 'My daughter she' riq has albinism, but my son Te’riq doesn’t. ‘That was a shocker for us once they were born. ‘Albinism means you just have no pigment in your hair, your skin or your eyes, so you’re very sensitive to…

Top tip Groundnut oil is used for stir-frying as it has a high smoke point and adds a nutty flavour, but sunflower oil will work just as well. Chilli beef noodles A stir-fry makes a quick and tasty meal, and using just one pan means minimal washing-up too. SERVES 4 PREP 10 MINS COOK 10 MINS 350g rump steak, fat trimmed and cut into strips 1 garlic clove, chopped 2 pinches dried chilli flakes 2tbsp groundnut oil 250g rice noodles 1tbsp toasted sesame oil 300g bag mixed stir-fry vegetables 4tbsp teriyaki sauce 75g unsalted roasted peanuts, toasted Small bunch coriander, chopped 1 Put the steak into a bowl with the garlic, chilli flakes and 1tbsp of the groundnut oil. Mix the ingredients together and set aside for 5 mins.…

TRUE-LIFE Burying my face in a bouquet of red roses and inhaling their sweet scent, my heart fluttered. ‘They’re beautiful,’ I beamed. 'Not as beautiful as you,' my boyfriend Nathan, then 25, whispered, kissing me. It was November 2020, and we’d been dating for two months, living together for one, after mates introduced us. Being a single mum of three kids, then aged 14, 10 and 4, I’d been careful. But watching him now, scooping up my little one as I put the flowers in a vase, Nathan seemed the whole package. Gorgeous too - with dark hair and tanned skin. ‘You’re a born dad,’ I told him later when we cuddled up on the sofa after wrestling the youngest two to bed. 'We'll have one of our own one…

Noughty The Booster Body Wash, £6.50, lovenoughty.co.uk Start your day invigorated and energised with this refreshing body wash, which uses grapeseed oil and caffeine to nourish skin. Maybelline The Falsies Surreal Mascara, £11.99, Superdrug If you’re after dramatic lashes, look no further than this mascara. The chunky brush gives lashes impressive lift and volume with just one sweep. Lottie London Bubble Tea Primer, £8.95, asos.com Primers help your make-up go on smoother and last longer. This one will also hydrate skin and deliver a gorgeous radiant glow. L’Oréal Paris Elvive Colour Protect Intensive Purple Mask, £6.99, lookfantastic.com If your grey or blonde hair has gone brassy, this mask will set things right. Leave on for 10 minutes two times a month to counteract any yellow tones. Umberto Giannini Thirsty Curls…

Chat winners issue 5 (2 Feb 2023) £1,001 CASH L Scott, Burton-on-Trent £500 CASH D Green, Nottingham M Albrighton, Worcester V Stewart, Birkenhead £250 CASH S Cousins, Abingdon B Graham, Halifax £200 CASH J Jackson, Margate £100 CASH B Gee, Leigh S Chadderton, Leeds J Wheeler, Norwich £75 CASH M Watmough, Bradford £50 CASH C Adams, Swansea S Cheetham, Oldham G Raymond, Cambridge B Simpson, West Bromwich B Reader, Sevenoaks M Spooner, Doncaster £40 CASH K Lewis, Solihull £30 CASH S Adams, King's Lynn M Nunn, Widnes Anyone from your town in the list this week..? £25 CASH K Coates, Rotherham E Perkins, Doncaster £20 CASH A Lawrence, Welshpool S Merrett, Coulsdon M Little, Bedford S O’Connor, Coventry P Walters, Peterborough K Hammond, Oldham G Edwards, Dronfield P Callow, Somerset…

I won’t ask if you remember me. I know you do. Because of that day in 2014 when I spotted one of you in the freezer section of the supermarket. I’d walked into that shop as a confident woman. Seeing you, I was a scared schoolgirl again. What got to me most was your smile. Grinning at me over the frozen pizzas like we were old pals. ‘You’re not still mad about school?’ you cried, taken aback by my scowl. ‘It was banter!’ My knuckles whitened round my trolley and my partner, Karl, then 24, placed a reassuring hand on my back as I trembled with rage. Banter?! Starting when I was 6, you’d made my childhood a living hell. ‘Scummy! Dirty!’ you’d yell across the playground, just because I…

LEE THRESHER, 54, FROM SOUTHAMPTON SAYS: My local hero deserves a round of a-paws! Our fab fundraiser Tom McInulty, from Southampton, generously raised £5,000 for Guide Dogs to name a new guide dog puppy. When Tom, 70, got married to husband Paul, 65, last year, he asked for donations rather than gifts from his wedding guests. He picked the name Bolt, an acronym of the names of his four guide dogs from the last four decades. Brunel, Otis, Lloyd and Toby. Guide dogs have been a huge part of Tom’s life ever since he lost his sight aged 31. While working in the merchant navy, Tom was celebrating his birthday in Trinidad when he woke up the next morning completely blind from cyanide poisoning. Losing his sight was tough, but with the…

Janggan, Pecukan and Bebean are types of what object used during a namesake summer festival on Bali? The number next to the clue tells you which line the answer’s in. We’ve put a section in! There may be two Across answers in one line. Down words fill themselves in. The shaded squares spell the one-word prize answer. WIN £100 Puzzle 2 Toolsforsplittingice Unitofelectricalresistance• Excessive, extreme Prisonerareaincourtroom• Shock Followresult Decay Formidablefrightening Your answer:…

BALLET PUMPS STYLE TIP Ballet pumps have made a big comeback. The perfect transitional shoe, they provide more coverage than sandals on cooler days. LOAFERS STYLE TIP Fresh pops of colour, bold buckles and animal prints provide a fun update to this classic design. SLIDES STYLE TIP This effortless shoe is more polished than a pair of flip-flops but just as easy to wear. Simply slip them on and go. TRAINERS STYLE TIP A year-round staple, trainers look just as good with dresses as they do with jeans and shorts.…

TRUE-LIFE Lying in my hospital bed, exhaustion tugged at my bones. Every time I tried to stand, a wave of nausea surged from my stomach to my pounding head. But if I can just make it to the end of the corridor… I thought. That’s where my man would be waiting for me. It was August 2020, and I’d been diagnosed with kidney cancer a year earlier. Doctors wanted me to stay in bed after chemo. ‘Stuff that,’ I muttered, swinging out my legs. Life was too short. Stumbling down the corridor, I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. As I turned the corner, Leon, then 52, stood before me. ‘Hello, my love,’ he said, with a big smile on his face. Helping me into a…

Q My daughter has been married for three years and has a one-year-old. Her hubby was married before but had no kids with his ex. But they still see each other all the time. My daughter says they’re just friends and tells me they’ve known each other for over 20 years. But I think this is wrong. It’s like there’s three people in their marriage! Am I just being too old-fashioned? Helen, 62 A There are definitely three people in this marriage. You daughter, her husband… and you! If your daughter doesn’t have a problem with this friendship, neither should you, flower. Your son-in-law has the right to be mates with who he likes. The last thing you want is to drive your daughter away. Leave them to it and stop…

A rich gravy smell wafted up to my bedroom, making my tummy growl. Bangers and mash. Hearing me thundering downstairs, my mum Mandy, then 56, set a plate piled high on the kitchen table. Your favounte,' she said. I wolfed the lot. It was January 2020, I was 19 and my job in a nursery kept me busy. I’d be starving when I finished, so I'd pop to McDonald’s, devouring two cheeseburgers on the drive home, before polishing off the tea mum cooked. Later, I'd munch five bags of crisps and several chocolate bars in my room. Shove the wrappers down the side of the bed before ditching them in my neighbour’s bin at the end of the week. Same routine, same feeling of shame. I was 5ft 8in tall,…