Table of contents for 14-Mar-2019 in Chat

Ever get tired of squabbles with your spouse? Happily married Jenilyn has found a way to make sure she never falls out with her other half… (p24). Mae was a normal, happy girl until something happened at a festival that changed her life forever (p40). And when Elaine came face-to-face with an armed robber, her quick-thinking meant he wasn’t going to get away with it (p10). We’ve got fab floral fashions (p12) and chic home buys (p27), some traditional St Patrick’s Day treats (p22), and all your favourite prize puzzles. Enjoy!…

GUILTY In December 2007, Corinne Caspar and Thierry Beille were both convicted of murder. ‘We are innocent!’ screamed Caspar as she was pulled away by two guards. But Judge Alda Casimiro didn’t agree. ‘There is no doubt that the accused committed, together, a crime of premeditated homicide,’ he said. Casimiro said the pair had acted in cold blood and there was no evidence of an attempted rape. They were each sentenced to 24 years in prison.…

Sperm check Q I had a vasectomy last month. They want me to go back for sperm tests, but surely there's no need? Mo, Whitechapel AA vasectomy cuts or blocks the tube carrying sperm from your testicles, but you can ejaculate sperm already in the tube for months afterwards. And up to one in 100 tubes can re-open. So it's essential to delay unprotected sex until you've had two clear tests in a row. Write to Dr Martin Edwards at Chat, 161 Marsh Wall, London E14 9AP. Or e-mail chathealth@ti-media.com Sorry, he can’t reply personally.…

Colcannon cakes Makes 25. Prep: 15 min plus chilling. Cook: 20 min • 700g Maris Piper potatoes, peeled, cut into 5cm chunks • 50g butter • ½ small Savoy cabbage, finely shredded • 1 whole egg • 1 egg yolk • 2tbsp plain flour • 2tsp cornflour • Small bunch chives, finely chopped • 15g Cheddar or Gruyere cheese, finely grated You will need: • Rectangular dish at least 5cm deep • 5cm cookie cutter • Baking sheet, lined with parchment 1 Place the potatoes in a pan of salted cold water. Boil and simmer until tender. 2 Meanwhile, melt half the butter in another pan and fry the cabbage for 5 to 10 min until softened and set aside. 3 Once cooked, drain the potatoes and allow to steam…

I wanted to marry…me!I know it sounds mad.I’d always Scrolling through the online jewellery shop, a delicate, gold band caught my eye. It’s still there, I thought, thrilled. It was July 2018 and I’d spotted the beautiful ring five years earlier. Back then, I couldn’t justify the £150 price tag. But now, I finally had a reason. My left ring finger was achingly bare – and that’s exactly where my new ring was going. Because, after all this time, I’d finally found The One imagined having a lavish wedding to the man of my dreams, followed by a long and happy marriage. But things hadn’t worked out that way. Everyone cheered and showered me with hugs A year earlier, after splitting from my partner of over six years, I’d dated…

Peter’s funeral was in January 2016. Friends from all over the world came to say goodbye to him. I scattered his ashes along his favourite walk in the New Forest. Now living back in England, in the months that followed, I really struggled. Not only was I grieving for my husband, I was also grieving for the woman I once was. I’d lost my identity. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I thought. I’d never been on my own before and I was overwhelmed with fear for the unknown. So, in an attempt to tackle my loneliness, I started an online blog. I began documenting my struggles with grief and my facial deformity. I joined a support group on Facebook and discovered there were…

Net yourself some spare cash with barely any effort with these handy tips… 1 Rent out your shed or garage  If you've got a shed or a garage you're not using, hire it out to someone who'll pay to store their stuff in it. There are websites you can use, such as stashbee.com. It's free to list your spare space, though you'll pay commission on bookings, which covers things like ID checks for guests and hosts. For more info, visit stashbee.com. Before you rent out any part of your home, it's essential to tell your home insurer. 2 Get paid to search onlıne  A simple way to bag some extra dosh is by joining qmee.com, which pays you to surf the net. Visit qmee.com and install the add-on, then search online…

Toni&Guy Flyaway Taming Wand, £9.99 Great for hair that is prone to static, or for neatening up super-sleek styles. Simply use the wand to smooth down those hairs that refuse to cooperate. Lee Stafford CoCo LoCo CoConut baLM, £6.99 Perfect for coarse and/ or curly hair that’s crying out for moisture. Apply sparingly; less is more. Charles Worthington Moisture Seal Hair Oil, £6.99 Here, we have a lightweight serum that’s ideal for smoothing fine to normal hair. It packs a real shine punch too. Umberto Giannini 60 Second Smooth Pre-Shampoo Treatment, £8.50 If you’re up for adding an extra step into your haircare routine, all in the name of reducing frizz, this treatment is the one to make a grab for. TRESemmé Keratin Smooth Shampoo and Conditioner, £4.99 each This…

Coronation Street Hen night hell Kate and Rana are horrified to find Lolly’s ignored their wishes about their hen night and has booked a stripper. After Lolly overhears Kate making disparaging remarks about her, things go downhill, leading Kate and Rana to tell Lolly that she’s no longer invited to their wedding. Meanwhile, Nick adds to Carla’s problems at the factory, Michelle takes a pregnancy test and David’s got a new junior at the barbershop - Gail! Emmerdale Kim Tate returns! Kim Tate returns to the village after another stint in prison and she wastes no time in making her mark. First, she tells Cain that she will help the police nail him for Joe’s murder unless he plays ball. Then, after learning Faith was responsible for the fall that…

The 2000 film Chopper was based on Read's best-selling autobiography From the Inside . Filmmakers originally wanted Russell Crowe as their leading man. But Chopper himself suggested TV comedian Eric Bana. Taking on the role of Chopper launched the Aussie heartthrob's film career in Hollywood. The usually buff leading man ate junk food daily to pile on the two stone required to play the hefty hardman,  saying he ‘just sat still' and steadily consumed great quantities of beer , saturated fats and doughnuts. Fake tattoos and metal teeth completed the transformation, and Bana even stayed with Chopper for a few days to get his performance pitch perfect. The movie was a box-office hit, receiving critical acclaim and prestigious acting and directing awards.…

Approaching the social club where I worked, I delved into my pockets for my keys. It was 6pm on 23 November last year, and we had a big 30th birthday party to host at St Joseph the Worker Catholic Social Club. I was there to open up before the guests arrived. I’d worked as a barmaid at the club for 15 years, and was promoted to manager in 2016. The social club had such a warm, friendly environment. From the members who came in for a drink on Saturdays, to the birthdays and weddings that the hall was hired out for, it felt like a real community atmosphere. I needed the boost, especially since my hubby of 39 years Michael, 61, had been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer in March…

Boob worries Q I hate my huge, floppy breasts! Do herbal tablets to shrink them work? Katie, Stockport A Tablets with herbal extracts may claim to burn off breast fat, but there's no evidence they work. Pills containing diuretics to make you pee more, or hormones to shrink breasts, can have bad side-effects. Best stick with weight loss and a sports bra! Periods back! Q At 50, I thought I'd had my menopause. But, with a hot new partner, my periods have returned. Can sex re-start them? Louise, Solihull A Sex does release hormones, but you may be in perimenopause - the months or years before menopause when your periods can stop and start - and it's coincidence they've begun again. But bleeding after having no periods for a year…

Q How bad were your earlier relationships that marrying yourself was a better option? Ann Johnson, Runcorn AI had some rough relationships and some beautiful ones. But the issue lies more with me. I need to work on myself, so I'm happy on my own without depending on anyone else. Q What do your family think about you tying the knot with yourself? Laura Graham, Ipswich A My parents are traditional Catholics who believe marriage should be between a man and a woman. I didn't invite them, as I knew they'd struggle with the idea, but they love me and want the best for me. Q Are you still allowed to date or will you be cheating on yourself? Michelle McGrath, Grantham AI can date, I can do anything I…

1975: Heiress found dead Police discovered the body of missing Lesley Whittle, 17, at the bottom of a drain shaft on 7 March 1975. Lesley, who'd been left £82,000 by her father when he died five years earlier, had been kidnapped from her Shropshire home, then strangled in Bathpool Park, Staffordshire. Donald Neilson, known as the Black Panther, was later convicted of Lesley's murder, and three others, and given four life sentences in June 1976. 1996: Classroom massacre Alone gunman entered a school in Dunblane, and shot and killed 16 children and their teacher on 13 March 1996. Another 12 pupils were taken to hospital with injuries. Killer Thomas Hamilton, 43, turned the gun on himself before he was apprehended. The attack happened as the Year One pupils were about…

Glugging a beer at my friend’s barbecue in the summer of 2000, a gorgeous man caught my eye. As we got chatting, I was captivated by his intelligence and charisma. This handsome and charming stranger was called Mark, and he adored music, gardening, the beach. And that night, he had everyone hanging off his every word – me included! I knew right then that I wanted to know more about him. We started out as friends but soon things escalated. We began dating, taking trips to the cinema or walks in the park. It didn’t take long for us to fall madly in love. So what if Mark was 10 years older than me? Our connection was electric. After two happy years, we moved in together as a couple. Whether…

Stretching on my sunlounger, I relished the blissful Sri Lankan sun. It was November 2011 and I had escaped there for three weeks. I was meant to be meeting a friend, but when she’d become ill, I ended up going alone. Not that I minded. I’d been travelling solo for years. Had never found the love of my life with whom to explore the globe. The hotel was luxurious. Every day, the room boy would leave me chocolates on the bed or create a love heart out of the towels. ‘Hello Madam, enjoying your holiday?’ he asked daily. He told me his name was Priyanjana De Zoysa. ‘I’m 26,’ he added. Two days before the end of my holiday, Priyanjana’s grinning face appeared at my door. ‘Address? Number?’ he stammered,…

Bowel-cancer test Q I've had a letter offering a routine bowel scope test. Why? Fran, Maidstone A In most areas of the country, you'll be offered this test as a one-off when you're 55. A thin, flexible telescope is passed through your anus into your lower bowel to check for polyps - fleshy growths that might turn cancerous. It's not compulsory, but should help to reduce bowel-cancer rates. Home whitening Q I've read baking soda or vinegar can whiten teeth. Which works best? Deb, Pembroke ADIY whitening can damage enamel. Whitening kits are safer, but don't always work and can leak onto gums. Reduce staining by regular cleaning, especially after red wine, coffee, tea or smoking, and ask your dentist about professional bleaching. Disgusting nail Q My big toenail's grown…

The flash shimmered around the room as the camera clicked away. Snapping every angle of my gorgeous boy, I captured his smile, big blue eyes and blond hair. My son Jaxson shrieked with delight. ‘He’s too scrummy!’ Jaxson’s dad Owen, 22, cooed, lifting him into the air. Jaxson was born in January 2016 – and despite being six weeks premature and needing a few days of extra care, he was healthy. Perfect, even. Now, 11 months later, we were the happiest family trio. Excited for Jaxson’s first birthday. Owen handed me Jaxson and took the camera, flicking through our family snaps. Suddenly, Owen frowned. ‘That’s strange,’ he said, showing me a picture we’d taken earlier that day. ‘What?’ I asked. I could only see my beautiful boy and his winning…

Looking at the eager faces gazing back at me, I strained to hear as they chanted the ABC. For years, I’d been teaching English as a foreign language in Thailand with my husband Peter, 63. We’d met when I was a flight attendant, and he worked for the same airline. I’d always loved dressing up for the job. And even at the age of almost 60, old habits die hard. I never went anywhere without a slick of red lipstick and my hair neatly styled. But, recently, I’d been struggling with the hearing in my left ear. ‘It’s so frustrating,’ I groaned to Peter that night. Weeks later, we returned to the UK. After a series of tests, doctors diagnosed me with an acoustic neuroma. They explained it was a…

Aries 21 March - 20 April Expensive, but worth it, right? No - it’ll take every penny you’ve got and more! Buying an old car and telling yourself it’s a classic is an obvious example but, whatever your potential purchase is, avoid it. Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April - 21 May You might need help out of a tight spot. There are two candidates. One will need a bit of persuading, but will be a solid support. The other will say yes at once but, in the end, may help you less. Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May - 21 June You find yourself acting as a go-between for two people who fancy each other. The problem is, you fancy one of them…

Q My make-up always ends up being patchy, especially when I put my powder bronzer and blusher on. What can I do? Alison Day, 54 A You could be putting your bronzer and blusher on too soon. If you have moisturised and popped on a foundation, it’s tempting to move straight on to the next product, but leave time for your foundation to set. A powdery blusher or bronzer applied to a still-damp base makes for patches. If you are using a base that promises a dewy glow, switch to a cream blusher and/or bronzer to complement the texture already on your face. QI want to define my eyebrows but am scared of over-applying – I don’t want to draw on two slugs! Do you have any fool-proof tips? Caroline…

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Over four bloodthirsty decades, Mark ‘Chopper’ Read terrorised Australia’s seedy underworld. The self-confessed sadistic killer, kidnapper, and torturer spent 23 years in jail – and wreaked just as much havoc behind bars as he did on the streets of Melbourne. His dad encouraged Chopper’s violent streak Yet, towards the end of his life, this infamous criminal turned his life around, becoming a best-selling author, painter and even releasing rap songs. Born to a devout Seventh-day Adventist mother and a war-veteran dad in Melbourne on 17 November 1954, Chopper didn’t have the happiest start in life. He was in and out of children’s homes and grew up terrified of his parents. He later said that his fanatically-religious mum would sneer that he ‘wasn’t a gift from God’, and his dad beat…