Table of contents for 02-Jun-2016 in Chat

A scan revealed two new tumours in his head and spine Joe was brilliant... changing nappies, helping out My boyfriend, Joe, was the life and soul… If he wasn’t playing football, he was cracking jokes or quoting Will Ferrell films. ‘Not Anchorman again!’ I’d joke, rolling my eyes. Truth was, I loved that he could always make me laugh. We’d been friends for two years before we’d got together in 2007. We never spent a day apart and, by 2008, we’d bought our first house together. We were making other plans, too… Marriage, family…it couldn’t come quick enough. ‘I want kids,’ Joe agreed. Close to his younger brothers Aaron, now 26, and Nolly, 21, I knew he’d make a great dad. On 24 September 2012, Joe proposed while we were…

People from all over the world started following her ‘ Call me,’ he said, pressing a business card into my hand. ‘You won’t regret it.’ Then he scarpered, his camera swinging from his neck. ‘Cheeky blighter!’ I laughed. By my heels, my dog Lulu yapped in agreement. It was March last year. We’d gone for a walk along the canal. Only there was some sort of event going on. There were local journalists there. That’s when the photographer spotted us. ‘Is that dog for real?’ he asked. ‘Yes,’ I replied. ‘She’s a Pomeranian.’ ‘She’s great,’ he grinned. ‘My editor would love her. Give me a call and we’ll arrange a shoot.’ Then he’d given me his business card and hurried off. Back home, as I served Lulu her fave dinner…

Blood clot Q I was rushed to hospital with chest pain and coughing blood. I had a blood clot on my lung and I'm now on blood-thinners. Will I have to take them forever? Tracey, 43 A You had a pulmonary embolism, where a clot, usually starting in your legs, moves away to your lung. Blood-thinners help prevent a recurrence. You'll need to take them for three months or more. Waxy ears Q My GP said not to use cotton buds to clean my ears. So how do I get rid of the wax? Maureen, 51 A Ears are self-cleaning so don't usually need help. If you're prone to wax build-up, run a little warmed olive oil into your ears daily or ask your chemist for a DIY cleaning syringe.…

Tesco 10-inch Classic Base 4 Cheese Feast, 355g, £3.75 With a fairly deep base but plenty of gooey, stringy, cheesy topping, this big pizza is a great way to feed a bunch of hungry kids! Co-Op Loved by Us American Style Deep Pan Cheese Feast, 435g, £3 There's lots of cheese on top of this, which went deliciously toasty around the edge. This deep pan is filling, so easily serves three or four - just add salad. Lidl Trattoria Alfredo Stonebaked Quattro Formaggi, 2 x 340g, £1.79 Thin, crispy and tasty, the topping goes right up to the edge on this. We especially liked the herby flavour. NEW Kellogs's Ancient Legends, £2.99 For a breakfast with a difference, this range of six granolas, mueslis and cereals contains unusual grains and…

He's often in hospital with infections Tyrone Bowd, from Willowbank, Australia, hides a secret in his pants… His scrotum weighs a whopping stone! He suffers from a rare condition called scrotal lymphedema. It’s the massive enlargement of the scrotum due to thickening of tissue and the build-up of fluid. Over time, the skin of the scrotum becomes very bumpy and the penis becomes buried within the tissue. In the space of two years, Tyrone’s scrotum ballooned from the size of a mango to a watermelon. At first, doctors were baffled, unable to detect anything on scans. When his condition was finally diagnosed, his scrotum had expanded even more. Struggling to walk, he’s repeatedly being hospitalised with infections. And his condition means his testicles will continue to grow. His mother Tanya…

Hair to eternity! Asha Mandela, 50, from Florida, has hair 55ft (17m) long. Good job she's married to hairstylist Emmanuel. It takes him two whole days a week to wash and dry his wife's tresses! Got the record licked Byron Schlenker, 47, from Syracuse, USA, has the world's widest tongue. It's 8.5cm (3.3in) across - a whole 2cm wider than an iPhone 6. His daughter Emily's is, at 7.3cm (2.8in) across, the widest known for a woman! Got it nailed! New Jersey's LaRue Drummond, 54, hasn't trimmed her nails in eight years. They're 14in (35.5cm) long, but she's aiming for 21in. So far, she's spent £10,000 caring for them… Man in the middle Nick Smith, 21, from Atlanta, has the rare genetic condition primordial dwarfism, and is just 35in (89cm)…

I'd had no idea. To me he'd always been a tough, macho police officer As my dad Richard walked with me on his shoulders, I giggled. ‘Look, Daddy… monkeys!’ I beamed. I was 4 and we were at the zoo, just the two of us. He and Mum had split up when I was still just a baby, but I adored the special days we spent together. He’d even play dress-up with me, try on girly wigs. ‘Silly Daddy,’ I’d laugh. But, as I got older, Dad and I began to drift apart. I wanted to spend weekends with my friends. Besides, Dad was always busy with his job as an officer for the Metropolitan police. We’d speak on the phone, send a few texts… Dad always seemed miserable and…

Serves: 8 Prep: 20 min, plus chilling Cook: 15 min 150g digestives 50g whole almonds 50g butter, melted 300ml reduced-fat cream 200g dark chocolate 40g unsalted butter Zest of 1 orange, plus slices 50g strawberries Sliced flaked almonds 1 Preheat oven to 180C/Gas 4. 2 Whizz digestives and almonds in a processor, then slowly add melted butter until mixed. Press mixture into base and sides of a 20cm square spring-form baking tin, chill in fridge for 20 min, then bake for 15 min. Leave to cool completely. 3 Heat 200ml cream in a heavy-bottomed pan until bubbles just begin to form around edges. Add chocolate and butter and whisk until both are melted. 4 Stir in zest of orange and remaining cream as needed - filling should be thick but…

Getting on My 8-year-old daughter Becky was being collected from school by her grandmother. ‘How old are you, Nan?’ she asked. Forty-nine was the reply. ‘So you’ll be 50 next year, then,’ said Becky. ‘And after that?’ asked Nan. ‘You’ll be dead!’ said Becky. Bless. My daughter doesn’t have a grasp of ageing yet! T Wood, Aylsham Pet parking Somebody’s obviously not fond of moggies… Frances Rutherford, Southbourne While on holiday in Belgium, this donkey photobombed my selfie! Rachel Thomas, via Facebook • All contributions to Chat must be original, not copies or duplicated to other editors. Subject to these conditions, £25 will be paid for all rights in each letter or photo of the week printed. The Editor reserves the right to shorten or modify any letter or material…

Gemini 22 May - 21 June You’re planning a step into the unknown, using money you’ve saved. That’s leaping from past to future, bypassing the present day. So, the question isn’t where you’re going, it’s what are trying to avoid?! Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June - 23 July Some things are too good to throw away. That can apply to a relationship or shoes. When you’re together, you look great and are comfy, which is as much as you could want from shoes. Or from a love affair… Call 0905 817 0693* for more Leo 24 July - 23 Aug You think the changes you need to make at work will take some negotiation. But four days later, the mood alters and you can have everything…

Christine was dubbed Churchill's ‘favourite spy'… He said he killed her because he loved her THE CRIME On 15 June 1952, after supper with friends, Christine Granville returned to her hotel in west London. She was followed into the foyer by a man - and stabbed through the heart. Dead within seconds, she was the victim of a jealous stalker… THE STORY Beautiful, brave and brainy, too. Krystyna Skarbek was a Polish countess with a difference. The former beauty queen fled Poland in 1939, when it was under Nazi control. In London, she was recruited by the British Intelligence Service and worked for the Special Operations Executive, changing her name to Christine Granville. And so began her career as a spy. Christine set up home in the Shelbourne Hotel, in…

I wanted to scatter her ashes with the horses– but I couldn't let her go My hands shook as I read the letter. Dyanne, I saw you wanted to contact me. I dread to think what you’re going through… ‘He’s actually written to me,’ I cried to my partner Dave, 56. I found it on the doormat with a few bills one morning in April. A letter from the man who’d killed my daughter. Stabbed her around 80 times. Jordan Taylor. About a month before, I’d spoken to our local paper after he’d been convicted of murder, sentenced to 23 years in prison. ‘But I just can’t understand why he killed Laura,’ I’d told the journalist. ‘I want to ask him the reason he did what he did – that’s…

I was 14 and felt like my life had been flipped upside down It all started in 2010, when I was 13. I was lying on the sofa watching TV, when I felt my right shoulder cramp. But unlike normal cramp, I couldn’t shake it off. My muscles tensed and pain tore through me. I’d been lying with my arm above my head and now my arm was stuck in that position. My mum Mandy, 45, massaged my shoulder to loosen the muscles. But I was in agony, so Mum phoned the NHS 111 service, who advised taking painkillers. They made me fall asleep and when I woke up, my arm was fine. Months later, it happened again. Then again, and again. Out of nowhere my shoulder or back would…

Her sweet nature has won people over Wolf girl The happiest medal winner! In 2011, Supatra Sasuphan, then 11, from Bangkok, Thailand, was given the title World’s Hairiest Girl by Guinness World Records. Thick hair covers her face, ears, arms, legs and back. Cruelly given nicknames ‘Wolf Child’ and ‘Monkey Face’, she has a condition called Ambras syndrome - caused by a faulty chromosome. ‘When neighbours first saw her, they asked what kind of sin I had done. I was very worried about what she would be when she grew up because of other children teasing her,’ her dad Sammrueng, 38, has said. The condition has been documented since the Middle Ages, when sufferers were branded ‘werewolves’. Supatra’s one of 50 known sufferers. But while most with the condition are…

It comes in handy when he's searching for his ball Toby Two-Nose! Toby the Australian Shepherd dog is a star, performing as part of Todd Ray’s Venice Beach Freakshow in Los Angeles. But things could’ve ended very differently for Toby. The poor pooch was abandoned by his owner when he was a puppy - and all because he’d been born with two noses. Found roaming the streets of Fresno, California, Toby was picked up by a dogcatcher and taken to an animal shelter. But with his strange schnozzles, the prospect of adoption smelt bleak for poor Toby and it seemed his time was almost up. In fact, he was just hours from being put down. Until Todd Ray sniffed out the homeless hound and his multiple muzzles! Todd, who opened…

My size-20, elastic-waist trousers were stretched to their limit We went to a family party – I wore sequin leggings… I could eat anyone under the table. I loved my food, especially the greasy, fried kind! ‘You won’t eat all of that,’ my hubby Mike, 47, laughed when I ordered a full English in our local cafe. ‘Wanna bet?’ I snorted, polishing the lot off. I’d scoff takeaways most evenings, too. Fish and chips with lashings of salt, pizzas… It was no surprise I had a bulging waistline to match my huge appetite. Over the years, I’d tried – and failed – every diet going. I’m just meant to be big, I’d tell myself. Whenever I went out, I was convinced people were laughing behind my back. Then, one evening…

1 Hike up a city-centre volcano From Arthur's Seat, in the centre of the city, you can see towards the Forth Bridge, the sea and into Fife. This dormant volcano is a short walk from the Royal Mile, and right next to Holyrood Palace and the Scottish Parliament. 2 Experience a ceilidh Party like a local at Summerhall (every Tuesday) or Assembly Roxy (Friday/Saturday, depending on the month). Listen to the band and dance the night away! 3 Delve deep into the past Gilmerton Cove lies beneath the streets on the south side of the city. There are seven rooms with rock-hewn tables and chairs, a fireplace and even a blacksmith's forge to explore. No-one knows how long they've been there or what they were used for. It's a mystery!…

Soap story I decided to go cold turkey - my dependency was way out of control. I faltered once or twice but, about a month later, I came out the other side. I was up to five a day, but am now free of this powerful addiction. ‘What was it?' you ask… Cigarettes? Wine? No, I've stopped watching telly soaps! I've booted all those problems and dysfunctional people out of my life for good. I recommend it heartily to other Chat readers. Diane Hakala, Sheffield…

IT’S A GIVE WAHEYSIGN Randy David Smith, 58, from St Petersburg, Florida, thought humping a stop sign outside his ex's home would win back her affections... Unsurprisingly, the plan failed. Now, Smith's facing stalking charges in what Florida police called its most ‘bizarre case'. I DOUGH! A dedicated worker has literally been romancing the stone... Alex Brindley, 31, has married the town of Stone, Staffordshire. The union marked the Domino's pizza store manager's new role, and his commitment to the community. FULLY LOADED Ever wondered how much lighter you are after an, ahem, number two? Well, this could be the product for you! This ‘concept' toilet seat by designer Haikun Deng has an in-built scale to give an accurate before-and-after reading. Don't pooh-pooh the idea… BLINK AND YOU KISS IT…

The day Jordan killed Laura, he killed me, too Icouldn’t bear to look at Jordan, but at the same time I wanted to grab hold of him and ask him why, why, why? He was found guilty of murder, sentenced to life with a minimum of 23 years. He’ll spend his life on licence. But justice felt hollow. Because we were no closer to understanding why he’d done it. In court, it was suggested Laura had dumped Taylor that day, and he’d taken the rejection badly. We also heard he’d come from a broken home and been bullied at school. But does that explain why he attacked her, or why he’d stabbed her not once, but 80 times? Then, three months after he’d been sentenced, that letter. Taylor, offering to…

In March 2007, appeal judges ruled there was insufficient evidence that Cynthia George solicited John Zaffino to kill Jeff Zack. She was freed after spending 16 months at the Ohio Women’s Reformatory. That August, the Ohio Supreme Court upheld the decision, Cynthia George was declared not guilty, and double jeopardy laws meant she could never be tried for the crime again. The following year, the Georges settled a wrongful-death lawsuit, brought by Jeff Zack’s family against them and convicted killer Zaffino. They paid out $650,000 (around £450,000), with the Georges admitting no wrongdoing.…

I was just 13 – could see a baby's foot kicking inside me Paddling in the sea or feeding the ducks doesn't cost a thing As the baby kicked, my hand shot to my stomach. Just 13 and in my Science class, I hoped the teacher didn’t notice. Weeks earlier, in December 2005, I’d no idea I was expecting. But, as I looked down, I saw the outline of a baby’s foot kicking from inside my belly. I was a quiet girl. I’d had sex with my boyfriend, but was clueless about contraception. Now I was pregnant. Terrified, I hadn’t told a soul. Two months on, it was getting harder to hide my bump. A teacher noticed and contacted my mum. ‘She’ll kill me!’ I cried as I was sent…

There's more to me than just my big legs I know what you’re thinking… Look at the size of her legs! I’ve heard it all before. When your legs are as big as mine, you come to expect it. See, I was born with a rare overgrowth condition caused by a mutation in the PIK3CA gene. It causes an overgrowth of skin, bone and tissue. At the time, though, doctors didn’t have a clue what was wrong. My parents June and Rodney were told I wouldn’t survive. But by 18 months, I was running around just like other kids. I went to a specialist school, but I could still do everything everyone else did. I’d play on my scooter, race my friends in the park… Of course, I knew I…

1 Preheat oven to 180C/ Gas 4. 2 Boil 600g potatoes in lightly salted boiling water for 15-20 min, until tender. Drain and mash with a knob of butter and a splash of milk. 3 Meanwhile, simmer two trimmed and sliced leeks in boiling water for 10 min. Drain and mix with mash. 4 Cut a 340g can of corned beef into chunks. Put in a bowl with 2tbsp tomato puree and 2tsp Worcestershire sauce and stir together. 5 Pour a 400g can of baked beans into an ovenproof dish, spread corned beef mixture on top, then evenly spread over mash mixture. Sprinkle with 100g grated Cheddar and bake for 30 min. Serves: 4 Cost per head: 89p LIFE! DEATH! PRIZES!  For more foodie bargains, visit www.lifedeathprizes.com and click on…

Carex Strawberry Laces Hand Gel, £1.45, Superdrug You'll need to keep a bottle of sanitiser handy for trips to the loos - and this smells just like sweets! Carmen by Samantha Cordless Rechargeable Hair Straighteners, £119.99, www.carmen-products.co.uk If you can't live without your straighteners, these portable ones are great. Sure Maximum Protection Anti-perspirant in Confidence, £4.90, Tesco This extra-strength deodorant will keep you dry and odour-free all weekend. No need to worry about sweat patches! Fudge Urban Crisp Pear & Sweet Vanilla Dry Shampoo, £5.24, Boots Fix greasy roots by spritzing this onto your hair before brushing through. It smells great, too! Neutrogena Visibly Clear Pink Grapefruit Facial Cleansing Wipes, £3.99, Boots These wipes will rid your skin of dirt and make-up easily and leave it feeling fresh…

I’d come off the Pill a year earlier, but nothing had happened... My phone beeped with a message from my sister-in-law Stephanie Allsopp. It was a photo of an egg with two yolks in a pan… Double-yolker! It means a birth or a marriage. I knew they were rare, but I’d no idea they were supposed to be a good omen. There was definitely going to be a wedding, because my boyfriend Greg Allsopp, 37, had proposed two months earlier, in February last year, and we were planning to marry the following year. But we were all keeping our fingers crossed there’d be a baby, too, as Stephanie, 31, and her husband – Greg’s brother, Rich, 35 – were starting IVF. Hopefully it means both! I replied. A few weeks…

Today, still no-one knows exactly how Psamtek died Is there a connection between the woman and the little boy? His organs were removed and placed into jars. His body was washed in wine and spices, then stuffed with sand and linen. Then little 4-year-old Psamtek was wrapped from head to toe in bandages, and placed inside a sarcophagus alongside tiny, carved figurines of the gods. His family had done everything they could for Psamtek to awake again in the afterlife. It was 2,500 years ago. Alexandria. Ancient Egypt. Today, no-one knows exactly how Psamtek died. But one thing is certain. That little boy was loved. No effort was spared in mummifying his tiny body, ready for the next world. His family couldn’t do any more for him. They couldn’t help…

Terrifyingly, I'd been clinically dead for 55 minutes I can't even let the girls pop round to their friends' for tea It’s a strange thing to live with. This worry. But somehow we get by. It’s not like we have much choice in the matter. Four years ago, the only worries that I had were the normal sort. What were we having for tea? When would I find the time to do the laundry and the housework? I was a mum-of-two. To Ellie, now 7, and Amelie, 4. Rushed off my feet. But happy. Then it happened. One night that May 2012. The kids were in bed. A mate of mine had come round for a catch-up. I’d just poured us a glass of wine… And the next thing I…