Table of contents for June 2015 in Guideposts

Last month, after I wrote about what my mother would have thought of the May issue, someone asked me what my father would have thought about June. Interesting question. He might have been a little puzzled by Jim Gaffigan’s jokes that fathers don’t have a lot of say in family matters and are given a more ceremonial role akin to that of the vice president. All the real decision-making gets done by Mom and the kids. My father was quiet and stern, much like Gaffigan’s dad, and very conservative on matters of religion. If Dad was the Old Testament, then Mom was the New Testament, wanting to save the world with love and understanding. They were on totally opposite sides of the fence when it came to Vatican II. After…

Do I want to be a hero to my son? No. I would like to be a very real human being. That’s hard enough.” actor ROBERT DOWNEY, JR., who plays the superhero Iron Man on-screen “Listen. Acknowledge. Solve. Thank.” sign above a register in a New York City café “In an age of distraction, nothing can feel more luxurious than paying attention.” from The Art of Stillness, by PICO IYER “Optimism for me isn’t a passive expectation that things will get better; it’s a conviction that we can make things better.” MELINDA GATES, philanthropist “What gives me the most hope every day is God’s grace; knowing that his grace is going to give me the strength for whatever I face, knowing that nothing is a surprise to God.” pastor RICK…

The Pride of Galveston was docked in the Gulfport, Mississippi, harbor, the cruise ship’s blue smokestack rising like a dolphin’s fin from its gleaming white decks. My husband, Willem, helped me up the gangway, a porter behind us carrying our bags. We’d flown here from Canada to embark on a journey we’d dreamed about for most of our 40-year marriage— a grand tour of the Caribbean islands. I couldn’t help but recall the last time I was on a ship, my only voyage until now, a lifetime ago.… It was 1953. I was 20 years old, aboard the Ryndam on a 10-day crossing from the Netherlands to Nova Scotia, leaving my whole world behind. I’d bought a secondclass ticket with the money that Willem, then my fiancé, had saved from…

It’s easy to forget about your own needs, as Marni Rader did, when you’re caring for an aging family member. But one of the most important things you can do as a caregiver is take care of yourself—body, mind and soul. After all, how much help will you be to your loved one if you’re sick or burned out? Common signs of caregiver stress are disturbed sleep, weight gain or loss, headaches, anxiety, irritability and forgetfulness. Know your own signs that stress is getting to you and take steps to manage it. Don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed. Home Instead Senior Care, working with Amy D’Aprix, Ph.D., a caregiving expert, has developed a program on familycaregiver stress relief. Some tips: • Find an outlet for your feelings. It’s normal to have…

Men of Faith Guideposts’ cofounder Norman Vincent Peale wrote often of his father, a man of strong faith and conviction. Enjoy this collection of remembrances of the Rev. Charles Clifford Peale, who had such an influence on Dr. Peale’s life and ministry. guideposts.org/charlespeale Creative Space Go behind the scenes with abstractexpressionist painter Danny Simmons (page 58) and see him at work in his Brooklyn studio. guideposts.org/simmonsstudio Like Father, Like Son Jorge Jarrin (page 17) followed in his father’s famous footsteps as a Spanishlanguage broadcaster for the Los Angeles Dodgers. Check out our slide show of images from their lives in baseball at guideposts.org/jaimejorge. Her Tai Chi Cure Mikki Davis (page 12) found not one but two new loves—a good Baptist man and Tai Chi. Watch Mikki demonstrate some of the…

I NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS dad material, so for me the idea of Father’s Day was right up there with Arbor Day. In fact, Father’s Day always seemed like an afterthought when I was growing up. We did something big for the mothers in May— flowers and breakfast in bed, the whole bit—and then June came and somebody said, “Hey, I guess we should honor the dads. Let them grill outside.” Being a comedian, “a stand-up chameleon” as one of my kids puts it, is a nomadic, nocturnal existence that goes against the consistent routine required to raise a child (let alone the five my wife, Jeannie, and I have). Comedians are generally introspective outsiders who identify more with the misfit toys from Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Rein-deer than any…

Freak. someone with something odd about their behavior. That’s what people called me behind my back. My doctor had more or less said so. That’s what I’d be the rest of my life. Not that you’d think it if you’d just met me. Regular teenager, you’d think. But then my eyes would start blinking. My shoulders would twitch. My body would shake. Maybe I’d hit you. I couldn’t stop myself. Lots of teens hate their bodies. I couldn’t even control mine! I never knew when I was going to do something weird, or just totally awkward. School became a challenge. I didn’t want to go to church either, but I come from a family of strong believers and my parents are pastors. Sitting in the pew— I had to take…

MADE TO ORDER I have always prayed about everything. Big things, small things— they all matter. I trust that God takes an interest in everything going on in my life. But even I didn’t know what to say when my teenaged son, Alan, announced late one night, clear out of the blue, that he was going to bake a lemon meringue pie. Really? “Alan, that’s ridiculous,” I said. “It’s bedtime. I just cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes. Besides, you have school tomorrow. If you want to bake a pie, bake it when you get home in the afternoon. We won’t be able to eat it until the meringue sets anyway. It makes no sense to make one now.” “I know,” he said, cheerfully pulling a pan and a…

MY MOM, MY SISTER PATTY, the rest of my family…Why wasn’t anyone listening to me? Why wasn’t God listening to me? They all knew what I wanted. I’d told them. For two years, ever since my husband, Gerry, died of injuries from a car accident, I’d been running our remodeling business in the Columbus, Ohio, suburbs on my own. Successfully, but it took up so much of my time—time I would rather be spending with our two young sons. I’d always dreamed of having my own café, a place where I would serve healthy lunches and great coffee, befriending the customers. I could set my own hours and have plenty of time with the boys. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure we needed a fresh…

ART IN ACTION In the November 2013 Pass It On, Jeanette Rench, an artist, wrote about delivering donated prints to the Warrior and Family Support Center in her hometown. I took up photography a few years ago, and Jeanette’s story gave me an idea for the pictures I was accumulating. I suggested an art drive to the faithin-action team at my church. People could donate paintings, photographs and other wall art. We called the drive Art From the Heart, and collected more than 70 pieces. We donated the art to Community LINC, an agency that works with homeless families. When someone moves into permanent housing, they can choose a piece of artwork to brighten their new home. DAVID BUTEL Kansas City, Missouri SUBSCRIPTIONS FOR SOLDIERS I come from a large…

BRANCHING OUT I really want the tables to look special,” I told John. Our oldest son was getting married. Nathan and his fiancée, Roxanne, were planning a rustic outdoor wedding. They had a lot of great DIY decorating ideas, but the budget was getting thin. One morning I heard our neighbors cutting dead branches from their eucalyptus tree. I took a peek at the pile. The bark was peeling away, but the wood looked in good shape. I asked if we could haul away the branches. John cut, drilled and sanded them. All we had to do was drop in a tea light. We put them next to the centerpieces. Just the right romantic touch for a rustic wedding. We took a few candleholders to our neighbors. They were glad…

WHO IS THIS AGAIN? YOU’RE a friend of my mom’s?” I didn’t know the woman on the other end of the line and couldn’t make sense of what she was saying. “Your mother is not doing well,” she said. “Her husband moved out and she’s in bad shape. She’s not eating. Not sleeping.” “But I was just there a month ago, in June,” I said. “They were doing fine.” Mom was 72 and had married a year earlier, after a long time being single. I was glad that she would have a loving companion in her golden years. What happened? Mom’s friend didn’t know the details. “Look, she needs someone to be with her,” she said. “Here, why don’t you talk to her?” There was soft breathing on the other…

Donald, can you get that?” Where was my husband when I needed him? I’d just gotten settled in my recliner and now the phone was ringing. I braced my feet against the floor and gingerly pushed against the armrests to stand. Spasms knifed through my back. Lord have mercy. This arthritis was going to be the death of me yet. Years of working as a secretary—all that sitting— had done a number on my lower back. I’d taken to sleeping in my recliner. It was more comfortable than my bed. Medication had helped dull the pain. But then I’d started having intestinal issues. “It may be a side effect from the pills,” my doctor told me. “Try going without them. For now, your best option is to keep moving, even…

Jim Gaffigan (Stand-up Dad, page 24) and his wife, Jeannie, aren’t just partners in parenting. Jeannie’s a cowriter and producer of The Jim Gaffigan Show, which premieres July 15 on TV Land. “I think of my wife as my secret weapon,” Jim says. The sitcom is a fictionalized account of their family’s life in New York. “I play myself, a father of five who’s a comedian who can’t stop eating.” Jim’s insatiable appetite is evident to his 2 million Twitter followers—nearly one in five tweets is food related. It also inspired his book Food: A Love Story. Jim even announced his upcoming stand-up tour, “Contagious,” via a YouTube video called Important News About Chili! Get more information about his shows and books at jimgaffigan.com. Mikki Davis (The Tai Chi Cure,…