Table of contents for June 19, 2023 in Globe

THE BODY BOOTY-FUL Tom Brady’s ex GISELE BUNDCHEN goes paddleboarding in Miami — but the cheeky supermodel’s itty-bitty bikini barely covers her assets! SNEAK BEAK Picky funnyman ADAM SANDLER looks like he’s digging for uncut gems! AIR MALE JAMES MARSDEN — Enchanted’s pompous Prince Edward — dives into his vacation in France STRIKES HER FANCY Dead Man Walking Oscar winner — and habitual protestor — SUSAN SARANDON joins the entertainment writers’ picket line in NYC TALKING TURKEY RITA WILSON’s wrinkled wattle proves the Sleepless in Seattle chick is now an old bird! WHATTA HACK! Sons of Anarchy hunk CHARLIE HUNNAM shows off his tree-mendous lumberjack skills in L.A. THE BEST CELEB PHOTOS EVERY WEEK!…

X-MEN mutant Halle Berry has won a bigbucks victory over exlover Gabriel Aubry with a court slashing her child support payments for teen daughter Nahla by a mindblowing $750,000 a year! The 56-year-old John Wick 3 beauty has been battling the 46-year-old Canadian model for a decade over what she branded “extortion” to keep the 15-year-old in style when the kid is with her dad. In 2021 Halle’s payout was trimmed to $8,000 a month — with the judge adding a payment equaling 4.3 percent of any income she earned over $1.95 million. Since last starred in the 2022 sci-fi flick Moonfall, pulls in an estimated $10 million a film, that could be at least an additional $340,000 added to the $92,000 regular yearly support. But in her new win,…

FAMILY-PHOBIC BRITNEY SPEARS finally reunited with mom LYNNE SPEARS after years of caustic catfights — but only for 30 minutes! Lynne, 68, flew to L.A. for the hit-and-run makeup sesh with her grudge-nursing older daughter, 41, after the two had been “texting more frequently” lately, spills a source. “After no coffee for 15 years … Mom we can go have coffee together now!!!” the Toxic terror wrote on Instagram last December, not long after telling Lynne to go “f**k herself.” The seething songbird has held her entire family responsible for the legal conservatorship overseen by dad JAMIE SPEARS, 70, that controlled every breath Brit took for 13 years. She has also come up with fresh fodder to hold against them — including a claim last year that her mom slapped…

FURIOUS FOX News reject Tucker Carlson is vowing revenge after his former network’s flunkies dismantled the summer-time studio the company built for him on his property in Maine — just as the fired host prepares to launch his own broadcast, tipsters tell GLOBE. “Tucker’s disgusted by their pettiness,” spills an insider. “They didn’t even leave him a mouse pad! He’s had to hire workers to clean up the mess they made, so he can rebuild another satellite studio in time for his new show on Twitter.” Spies squeal the stripped space in a converted barn near Tucker’s Woodstock home was left unusable — and now the fuming firebrand has even more of an ax to grind! “He was mad at FOX before. Now he’s absolutely livid — and threatening to…

PINK FLOYD’s Roger Waters was blasted as uncomfortably dumb by critics for wearing a Nazi-like uniform during a concert in Berlin! The tone-deaf rocker’s armband and stage banners included crossed hammer insignias — which echo swastikas and drew from duds worn by fictitious fascists in his band’s 1982 flick The Wall. Troubled Waters has previously likened Israel’s government to the reign of World War II villain Adolf Hitler for its occupation of Palestine — but insists, “I am not an anti-Semite.”…

MICROSOFT billionaire Bill Gates is tangled in an explosive spy scandal involving a forbidden relationship with Russian beauty Mila Antonova — a fellow bridge player who has been linked to notorious Kremlin secret agent Anna Chapman. Newly discovered photos show Mila with flame-haired Chapman, who worked deep cover in the U.S. until confessing to serving as a foreign agent and being deported to her native Russia in 2010. The connection between the women is unknown, but a source speculates Mila has all the earmarks of a “swallow,” a Russian secret agent trained to be skilled in sex and using bedroom romps to gain “kompromat,” which is used to trap and blackmail influential victims to act as Kremlin agents. Another photo shows Gates with notorious pedophile and child sex trafficker Jeffrey…

Signs you’re much too salty ✚ SODIUM is a necessary nutrient — but the body delivers telltale signs if your diet contains too much salt, experts say. Some symptoms include severe dehydration headaches, swollen feet and hands, high blood pressure and frequent urination related to increased fluid intake. According to the CDC, about 90 percent of Americans aged two and older consume too much sodium, which can lead to heart attacks and strokes. The organization recommends limiting consumption to less than 2,300 milligrams per day. Pot causes schizophrenia! ✚ REEFER madness may be real! A recent study suggests marijuana could be behind 30 percent of schizophrenia cases in men aged 21 to 30! Researchers at the National Institute on Drug Abuse made the discovery after analyzing data spanning five decades…

NCIS star Sean Murray is going all out to make peace between his warring former co-stars Mark Harmon and Pauley Perrette, hoping to reunite them for a comeback cameo on the hit crime drama. The top-billed 45-year-old actor, who plays Special Agent Timothy McGee on the hit CBS series, has been buttering up the axed 54-year-old actress and is making progress, sources snitch. Sean recently revealed he “was just talking to P, who came across this pic of us [holding pumpkins] from a few years ago.” “Sean’s still friendly with Pauley and kept in touch, even after she left the show on a bad note,” spills an insider. “He’s trying to get Pauley to stop blaming Mark for everything that happened. “He thinks it’s a shame she thinks so poorly…

PATHETIC Kanye West appears to have finally lost the power to shock and grab attention after his outrageous and shameful slams against Blacks and Jews. At last look, the 46-year-old Kardashian castoff was grabbing ice cream with new wife Bianca Censori walking in socks and wearing massive shoulder pads under his T-shirt. But, sadly, even the shoulder pads can’t make this loudmouthed twit a big man. He’s just a fame whore whose 15 minutes have expired. Back in 2004 Kanye scored big-time albums, with Late Registration selling 3.3 million, followed by three more millionplus efforts. But his last real score was in 2010. Since then his sales have plunged, but he stayed in the news with bizarre behavior, which began at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards when he leaped…

BLOODTHIRSTY Brian Laundrie got unwavering support from his doting mom as she chillingly promised in a “burn after reading” note to her kid that he could depend on her to “show up with a shovel and garbage bags” if he ever needed “to dispose of a body!” “If you’re in jail I will bake a cake and put a file in it,” Roberta Laundrie, 57, wrote to her son. “If you need to dispose of a body, I will show up with a shovel and garbage bags.” It turned out the ghoulish offer could have come in handy, since the heartless 23-year-old strangled 22-year-old fiancée Gabby Petito to death during a 2021 road trip and left her to rot before offing himself with a gunshot to the head a month…

DEVASTATED songbird Celine Dion has canceled her Courage world tour as she battles a nerve disease that turns people into living statues! After earlier canceling some planned shows, the 55-year-old My Heart Will Go On singer announced with “tremendous disappointment” she was axing the entire tour while “working hard to build back my strength” as she battles stiff-person syndrome. The spinal cord condition causes the muscles in the arms, legs and torso to stiffen and can kill some victims six years after it strikes. Following her heart-breaking May 26 revelation, fans flooded social media, with one texting: “We love you Celine. We are praying for your healing.” Another posts: “Your health is the only thing that matters.”…

MARLO THOMAS, 85, and PHIL DONAHUE, 87, celebrate 43 years of matrimony. The secret to long-lasting marriage? “I call it the three L’s. Love, listening and lust,” shares the That Girl star. JESSICA ALBA, 42, and producer CASH WARREN, 44, mark their 15th wedding anniversary. They met on the set of her movie Fantastic Four in 2004 when he was the director’s assistant. Levitating hitmaker DUA LIPA, 27, is over the moon for French-Greek film and music video director ROMAIN GAVRAS, 41, son of acclaimed film director COSTA-GAVRAS, 90. Romain previously dated singer RITA ORA. PARIS HILTON’s heartbroken after the loss of her beloved pup, Harajuku Bitch. “For an incredible 23 years, she filled my life with so much love, loyalty, and unforgettable moments,” laments the celeb heiress, 42. Margaritaville…

GLEEFUL Tucker Carlson is gloating over the falling ratings of former rival Sean Hannity on FOX News — and the axed TV host is reveling in the reeling network’s shrinking audience, sources snitch. The now defunct Tucker Carlson Tonight regularly aired before Hannity, whose numbers had reached 1.9 million. But recent stats show nearly 600,000 folks stopped watching the once dominant TV titan! “Tucker always maintained Sean’s ratings were propped up by viewers who had tuned in for HIS show but stuck around because they couldn’t be bothered to switch channels,” spills an insider. “So Sean’s lost his safety blanket basically, and the whole network’s failing miserably because Tucker’s not there to save them. Sure, Greg Gutfeld has a following, but besides him it’s a total disaster over there. “For Tucker,…

CAUTIOUS country star Morgan Wade has decided to beat the odds on cancer by undergoing a double mastectomy! The 28-year-old songbird says she will have both breasts surgically removed after test results showed a genetic mutation linked to cancer. “I had the BRCA gene, it’s a breast cancer gene so I’m having a double mastectomy in November,” says the plucky hitmaker. “I’m feeling fine. I’m just pissed I won’t be able to work out because I really like working out!”…

FORGET about high tech — Russia has been spying on Norway’s coast using a gigantic, real-life secret agent — a 12-foot-long, ton-and-a-half Beluga whale! The Norwegians named the critter Hvaldimir — a pun on the word “hval” or whale and Russian kingpin Vladimir Putin — and have spotted him traveling their coastline for four years, at first wearing a harness intelligence experts say could carry spy cameras and other electronic surveillance devices. Recently, Hvaldimir has entered Inner Oslofjord, a “densely populated” waterway near a resort area where he’s become like a pet, following boats and even swimming near people. Fisherman Joar Hesten first spotted Hvaldimir in 2019, and noted he was wearing a harness, which the beast kept rubbing against boats in an effort to get it off. Hesten freed…

FORMER Little House on the Prairie icon Melissa Gilbert had to spend a night in the ER after a bug bite at her Catskills cabin scarily ballooned her arm. The 59-year-old actress says just hours after the unknown flying insect attacked, “my arm was incredibly swollen, red and hot.” Her Revenge of the Nerds hubby, Timothy Busfield, 66, rushed her to a hospital, where docs diagnosed cellulitis, a bacterial infection, and treated her with an “IV of clindamycin, Benadryl and acetaminophen” that “immediately” began healing the painful sore, she posts.…

1 Who played two different boyfriends of Rose Nylund on The Golden Girls? 2 Which character in The Wonder Years is killed in the Vietnam War? 3 Cast members of which two classic shows guest-starred on the series finale of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? A: 1 Harold Gould; 2 Winnie Cooper’s older brother, Brian; 3 The Jeffersons and Diff’rent Strokes “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?”—Scott Adams…

ALL the Money in the World wasn’t enough to convince producers of the KEVIN SPACEY flick being filmed with that title to keep the accused sex creep in the lead! All the scenes Spacey had already shot were scrapped and CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER was brought in to play J. Paul Getty in the 2017 biographical crime thriller about how the crabby oil baron billionaire refused to pay $17 million to his grandson’s kidnappers. He finally coughed up a couple of mil after the thugs hacked off the kid’s ear.…

KATE HUDSON is dragging her feet when it comes to walking down the aisle with baby daddy Danny Fujikawa, leaving friends fearing she’d rather keep their romance without tying the knot. The 44-year-old bride-to-be has yet to move forward with wedding plans to marry her 42-year-old fiancé 18 months after announcing their engagement. She began dating Danny in 2016 and became engaged in 2021 — three years after their daughter Rani’s birth. “Kate is dragging her feet and has made no move to set a date or find a wedding venue,” says a source. “Kate claims she and Danny have the perfect relationship, and although she’s crazy in love with him, she can’t help but look to her mother, Goldie Hawn, and her long-time partner, Kurt Russell, to see how…

MUSIC legend Tina Turner’s secret last days were spent in heartbreak and agony — hooked up to a kidney dialysis machine, mourning the deaths of her two sons and yearning for an assisted suicide, according to sources close to the late queen of rock ’n’ roll. While the raspy-voiced 83-year-old Proud Mary singer’s rep announced Tina died of “natural causes” following a long illness in her home near Zurich, Switzerland, on May 24, the star was a medical mess, trapped in misery after being felled by a stroke and battling kidney failure and intestinal cancer while still mourning the deaths of sons Craig and Ronnie. According to a source, Tina’s good friend Cher, who’d planned to visit her this summer, says, “She was really sick, and not wanting people to…

KING JUDE IS REAL STINKER Hey Jude, don’t smell so bad! JUDE LAW had the nerve to stink-bomb cast and crew with a nauseating, putrid perfume that — take a deep breath — reeked of blood, crap and sweat! All because the Method man needed to sink his Brit-teeth into playing KING HENRY VIII in Firebrand, a “thriller” about the wife-killing English monarch’s final days with sixth and final spouse CATHERINE PARR, played by Swedish actress ALICIA VIKANDER, 34. “I read several interesting accounts that you could smell Henry three rooms away,” shares the Oscarnominated actor, 50. “His leg was rotting so badly. I thought it would have a great impact if I smelt awful.” So, The Talented Mr. Ripley star found a stink-master with a keen nose for capturing…

SCREEN icon Jane Fonda destroyed the myth about her love-in with Robert Redford by slamming her leading man in four films, saying he was “always in a bad mood.” The 85-year-old confesses their love scenes in flicks including Barefoot in the Park and The Electric Horseman were a pain because he always showed up late and “did not like to kiss. And I always thought it was my fault." Now, she realizes it “wasn’t my fault.” Still, she admits she was “in love” with Robert, 86, but he just had “an issue with women.”…

DISGRACED reality jailbird Todd Chrisley thought he knew best — but now the guilt-ridden fraudster admits he allowed “greed” to put him and wife Julie behind bars! Todd, 54, “is not a happy camper,” spills an insider, adding the Chrisley Knows Best “patriarch of perfection” feels “hopeless and broken” just a few months into his 12-year sentence in Pensacola, Fla., for defrauding banks of $36 million. “Todd is starting to feel hopeless. He is aware that his greed caused all of this,” says the snitch. While wife Julie, 50, spends seven years in a clink in Lexington, Ky., poor Todd has “let himself go,” squeals the source. “He is not able to get skin treatments and his hair is no longer dyed blond. “He is looking worse for wear!”…

A CREEPY peeping goat has been captured after causing a week of chaos in Chatham, N.J. Local lawmen were flooded by complaints the critter was gazing into bedroom windows! He’s been sent to a farm. ONLY 12 percent of the world’s population dreams in all black and white. Most folks have nightly visions in varying degrees of color, which scientists oddly attribute to the invention of color TV! FORMER President Gerald Ford — born Leslie Lynch King Jr. — was a professional model and actually appeared on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine! A WATERFALL in Antarctica gushes red and is appropriately named Blood Falls. The water gets its color from iron in the saltwater brine, which turns rust-red when it hits oxygen.…