Table of contents for January 9, 2023 in Globe

OFF THE CLOCK When TV cameras aren’t rolling, Fuller House’s JODIE SWEETIN goes super casual in sloppy sweats ALL KEYED UP Music man PAUL SHAFFER — David Letterman’s longtime late-night sidekick — gets into the groove FOR PETE’S SAKE! Blubbery British rocker PETE DOHERTY has blimped up — again! A BRIEF GETAWAY Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman ANTHONY KIEDIS strips down to his skivvies after surfing in Hawaii GETTING WIGGY WITH IT Axed talk show host WENDY WILLIAMS could use a helping hand for her loose locks! ACCENTUATE THE PAWS-ITIVE Moonlighting’s CYBILL SHEPHERD is forced to rely on a cane, but still manages to walk her pet pooch…

IF DOLLY PARTON ever green-lights her biopic, she’s already got someone ready to go for the lead role — her goddaughter and personally trained mini-me, Miley Cyrus! “I’m sucked, I’m tucked and plucked, just like she taught me!” pop star Miley, 30, says about how 76-year-old Dolly has molded her over time into the Jolene singer’s image. “Me and Dolly have never really spoken, honestly, about me playing Dolly — because I feel like I’m already doing it!”…

JEALOUS Keith Urban is targeting cowboy king Garth Brooks in a country music range war for stealing the thunder from his Las Vegas concerts, tipsters tattle. Keith, 55, is fit to be tied because his Sin City shows will overlap with the 60-year-old Friends in Low Places singer, and Nicole Kidman’s hubby believes Brooks’ residency is certain to overshadow his own, according to spies. “Keith is working hard on his residency and Garth’s stepping on his toes as he sees it, with his own residency that’s sizing up to be spectacular and even better than Urban’s offering,” dishes a mole. “The fear is fans will bypass Keith and wait to see Garth perform. Everyone knows Garth is the biggest star in country music and a fan favorite.” Keith’s Vegas residency…

SENSATIONAL videotapes showing sleaze-ball pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s rich and powerful pals having sex with underage girls are being kept under lock and key at secure locations around Europe, according to bombshell court testimony by a member of the dead billionaire’s harem. In recently unsealed court documents, Epstein sex abuse victim Sarah Ransome, now 36, claims she not only watched the X-rated tapes but made several copies that are now being used as insurance policy to prevent her from being harmed for what she knows! Ransome testified just one other person in the world knows where the blackmail footage is being stored “in case anything happens to me before (it) is released,” say the damning court records that were sealed by a judge as the Epstein scandal exploded. Now the explosive…

PUSHED to a murderous rage over a $170,000 settlement won by his estranged wife, Allen Tayeh took terrifying revenge by killing her divorce lawyer and torching his office, cops say. Attorney Doug Lewis was alone in his Lawrenceville, Ga., offices when the furious, pistol-packing Tayeh, 65, walked in and shot him dead, splashed gasoline all over and ignited a blaze at about 5 p.m. on Dec. 7, say cops. Firefighters discovered his body after extinguishing the blaze in the wooden structure, a house converted to offices. Police Lt. Jake Parker called the crime “pretty brazen,” adding that Tayeh “did have a firearm on him” when he was busted, “a revolver that had spent cartridges in the cylinders.” Tayeh was caught walking away from the scene and also suffered burns. He…

A WILD rampage by ferocious yellow sac spiders forced a Wisconsin middle school to shut down after a student and teacher were bitten by the tiny toxic critters — triggering an extreme case of arachnophobia! Wilson Middle School principal Cory Erlander evacuated the Manitowoc facility Dec. 9 due to the creepy infestation. The day before his order, a girl was treated and sent home after she “brushed a spider off her arm,” which “became itchy and swollen,” says Erlander. A bitten teacher also reported pain, swelling and itching. A search found 30 spiders in various rooms and pest control was called in. Yellow sacs are one of the most aggressive house spiders, but their venom is not deadly, say experts. Their bite can become puffy and painful hours later and develop into…

Asthma boosts heart attack risk! + HAVING asthma significantly raises the odds of experiencing heart attacks and strokes, new research suggests. Scientists at the University of Wisconsin reviewed data from 5,000 adults and discovered people who needed daily medication to control the chronic lung condition were twice as likely to have excess arterial plaque — a known risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Study lead Dr. Matthew Tattersall says, “Addressing cardiovascular risk factors through lifestyle and behavior adjustments can be a powerful preventive tool for patients.” Electric bandage heals quicker! + A HIGH-TECH bandage as thin as a human hair helps serious wounds heal 25 percent faster than the average dressing, experts say. The battery-free flexible covering, which was developed by scientists at Stanford University, uses targeted electrical stimulation to promote…

SQUABBLING Obama daughters Malia and Sasha are fed up sharing a Los Angeles apartment and pestering their famous fat-cat parents to get them their own digs, moles dish. Former First Daughters Malia, 24, and Sasha, 21, feel they’re cramping each other’s style and want their own space and freedom to move around as they choose without the other spying on them, according to sources! “They’ve tried to live with each other but it’s getting too crowded and they’re sick of it,” spills an insider. “They’re getting on each other’s nerves and fighting all the time.” Harvard grad Malia works as a writer for producer Donald Glover while Sasha is studying at USC. Both are in relationships, which complicates things. Malia is dating DJ Dawit Eklund, 33, and her little sister…

SUPERMAN can’t be killed, but he just got fired! Brit heartthrob Henry Cavill, who flew as the Man of Steel in the 2013, 2016 and 2017 flicks, reveals he’s been given his walking papers by James Gunn and Peter Safran, the new kingpins at DC Studios. Embarrassingly, he says he was “told by the studio to announce my return back in October, prior to their hire, but that’s life. My time to wear the cape has passed.” Ironically, he appears as Superman at the end of Dwayne Johnson’s Black Adam film in a tease that the pair will battle each other in a sequel. Sources say Gunn’s writing a new script featuring a younger Superman. Cavill adds, “The changing of the guard is something that happens.”…

WHO AM I? Answer the clues and place the initials to each answer into the appropriately numbered square to find our mystery celebrity. 5 Eldest Brady Bunch son 2, 9 & 12 1951 musical drama starring Gene Kelly and Leslie Caron that received six Academy Awards, __ Paris 11 & 8 Sewer-dwelling superheroes named after four Renaissance artists, __ Ninja Turtles 4 The Walking Dead actor, Andrew __ 1, 7 & 10 2009 sequel about a boy wizard and his friends, Harry __ Half-Blood Prince 3 & 6 George Clooney worries about losing his frequent-flyer points in __ the Air MOVIE WATCH Chris Rock appeared in all the movies below. See if you can unscramble them. CROSSWORD ACROSS 1. Actor who refused his Best Actor Oscar for The Godfather, __…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 Listen to your intuition in money matters early in the week, Ram. An opportunity you spot could lead to riches! But later, be on guard! Cosmic clashes suggest con men are afoot and someone seeks to deceive! Boredom strikes Saturday but the new activity a neighbor suggests gets you rarin’ to go! TAURUS April 21 - May 21 Step away from anyone who tries to involve you in their battles, Bull! You don’t need trouble that’s not of your own making. Mercury and Venus team up for big savings midweek — you can spot good deals on home items or a new wardrobe. Kick off a diet and exercise plan Thursday for success! GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Better to bite your tongue…

DISGRACED lawyer Alex Murdaugh — who came from a prestigious, patrician South Carolina family — proves good breeding, education and wealth don’t stop someone from being a lowlife, greedy scumbag. Already accused of scamming his own law firm and clients out of at least $9 million, the 54-year-old is now charged with murdering his wife, Maggie, 52, and son Paul, 22, in June 2021. Maggie was slain with a rifle while Paul was killed with a shotgun on a family property. According to prosecutors, the pill-popping junkie murdered his wife and the younger of two sons to distract from his other alleged crimes. His family-founded law firm accuses him of funneling millions of dollars to his private accounts. He’s also accused of ripping off the sons of his housekeeper Gloria…

MOVIE icon Jane Fonda is gushing her “cancer’s in remission” and she’s “feeling so blessed!” The beauty, who won Oscars for 1971’s Klute and 1978’s Coming Home, revealed her fantastic news on Dec. 15 — just six days before her 85th birthday. After getting the great diagnosis about her non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, she tweets: “BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!” She’s also thanking loved ones, friends and fans for their good wishes and prayers, saying: “I am confident they played a role in the good news.”…

A DEMONIC doorway to a chilling evil dimension is swirling above the White House and President Biden may have been possessed by demons coming through a terrifying Gateway to Hell, according to Roger Stone, Donald Trump’s pet political dirty trickster! In a bizarre interview with GLOBE, the 70-year-old master manipulator behind much of Trump’s political career insists a cloud-like doorway hovering above 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue was first caught on camera shortly after Biden moved into the executive residence in late January 2021. “I do believe that Satan exists and I do believe that demons exist,” says the recently born-again ex-convict. “The Bible tells us as much. I believe there are realms and I think demonic creatures enter through portals into this realm.” Once a notorious sexual swinger, married Stone, whose…

STONEWALLING President Joe Biden refuses to declassify and release key documents exposing the CIA’s involvement in John F. Kennedy’s assassination and is thumbing his nose at the law to protect rogue spooks, outraged critics charge! While the commander-in-chief okayed a 13,000-document dump about what really happened in Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963, in mid-December, Biden caved to Deep State spies — again — and let them bury the truth about their intimate relationship with JFK shooter Lee Harvey Oswald! “They’re continuing to hide the incriminating evidence,” charges JFK researcher Jacob Hornberger. “It’s long past due for the public to learn the full truth about the assassination.” Indeed, as GLOBE has previously revealed, sources claim rogue CIA spooks plotted and committed JFK’s murder because of his international and domestic policies. They…

A TERRIFIED California woman came nose to snout with a murderous mountain lion just as the ferocious feline was dragging her beloved border collie out of her home by the neck! Miraculously, the elderly dog survived the bloodthirsty attack! Rebecca Kracker had left the sliding glass door to her Sonoma County home open on Nov. 28 while she played with her two other pups in another room, but came running when she heard her beloved pooch Sherman making a commotion and soon realized “the horrible truth of the matter.” Just a few feet away, the cruel cougar was lording it over his canine conquest as Sherman writhed on the ground “like he was convulsing.” The quick-thinking woman slammed the door shut to keep the pernicious predator from getting back into…

GROUNDBREAKING research has pinpointed the cause of aging — paving the way for a Fountain of Youth in a pill! Scientists at Northwestern University say their major genetic analysis of both animals and humans linked shorter genes to shorter lifespans. The length of a gene is based on its total amount of nucleotides, which contribute to the formation of proteins. When there is an uneven balance of long and short proteins, problems can occur. The researchers found such system-wide changes — and not a small subset of genes — appeared to contribute to poor health and biological aging. The scientists believe understanding the process may one day allow them to hijack the mechanism — and turn back the clock! After completing a survey of data from fish and rodents, the…

MASKED Singer host Nick Cannon’s recent scary hospitalization with pneumonia has worried pals warning it’s a wake-up call and urging him to slow down his grueling workload and energy-sapping baby-making. The 42-year-old TV host and rapper, who’s expecting his 12th child with Alyssa Scott, triggered worries after he fell ill following the Dec. 1 performance of his Wild ‘N Out tour at Madison Square Garden. “People who love and respect Nick have been begging him to slow down for years,” spills an insider. “His recent health problems mean he must reevaluate the years of putting himself through the wringer to keep his family fed. Nobody wants this guy to die young!” Nick, who also suffers a rare form of lupus that attacks kidneys, posted and then deleted a photo of himself…