Globe Sep-21-15

BELLY BULGE! Does newlywed JENNIFER ANISTON have a bun in the oven, or is she just eating too much? Whatever! She sure is looking chunky! FUTURE SHOCK! Great Scott! CHRISTOPHER LLOYD is back from the future and he looks ancient! Someone get him a DeLorean - STAT! HAIRY SCARY! Either JANET JACKSON had a “coif malfunction” or she meant for her mane to look like an octopus escaping its tank! KATIE FALLS FLAT! Tom Cruise’s ex, KATIE HOLMES, needs a boob job, a push-up bra – or both – if she’s going to walk around like that! SCAR FACE Looks like PIERCE BROSNAN took his name literally with that gash! On the bright side, maybe the scar will make him more attractive to the ladies. OLD FLAME Is ANN-MARGRET scowling…

QUIT WHITE HOUSE RUN NOW! IN a blunt no-holds-barred conversation, Barack Obama told Hillary Clinton to abandon her quest to be America’s first woman President – because she’ll NEVER beat Republican Donald Trump. Sources tell GLOBE Obama is convinced The Donald, who is dominating the GOP race, will crush Clinton in a general election and destroy the Democrats’ chance to retain the Oval Office. The President’s frank analysis is just another blow for Clinton, who is reeling from a mushrooming scandal involving Top Secret government e-mails, while Trump rides a tidal wave of popularity. “Obama has no doubt that Trump would kick Hillary’s butt,” says one insider. “He and other top Democrats want a stronger candidate to run. They fear Hillary will be the downfall of the party. ‘Recent polls…

SANDRA BULLOCK’s new love may crash and burn – just like her marriage to cheating ex-hubby Jesse James! Court documents show the Miss Congeniality star’s new squeeze, L.A.-based photographer Bryan Randall, has been accused of being anything BUT congenial! In 2012, Bryan’s neighbor John Stacer filed a temporary restraining order against the former model, claiming the hunk smeared dog poop on his front door and threatened him. In a police report of the incident, Stacer stated, “I know he has guns and a notoriously erratic temper, and I am scared of what he will do next.” However, a judge declined to make the restraining order permanent. And that’s not the only time Bryan’s been in hot water with the law. His rap sheet includes a felony charge for driving with…

FORMER Hollywood king Burt Reynolds has wasted away to a skeletal 98 pounds and has only weeks to live, stunned sources reveal. “It’s so sad to see what’s happened to him,” says a source close to the star. “Burt’s reeled from one health crisis after the other. “We fear he has only weeks to live – and he simply doesn’t care anymore.” The 79-year-old Smokey and the Bandit star was once a strapping 5-foot-11, 175-pound running back at Florida State and a global sex symbol. He made history after posing nude in Cosmopolitan magazine in 1972 and was once one of Tinseltown’s highest paid actors. But now, battles with heart disease and pain pill addiction combined with shattering financial setbacks have left him a lonely recluse at his Hobe Sound,…

IN a shocking and brutal showdown, livid Prince William accused his father Charles of masterminding his mother Diana’s murder, royal insiders reveal. After learning Queen Elizabeth believes Prince Charles had someone “grease the brakes” on his ex-wife’s car before the deadly crash in a Paris tunnel, enraged William confronted his father – and demanded the truth about his mom’s 1997 death, a Palace source says. During a face-off in his father’s study at Highgrove House, William screamed, “‘You killed my mother! You have her blood on your hands,’ ” the source reveals. “Charles was stunned and taken aback by the accusation. He stuttered and sputtered and told William, ‘No, no, you’ve got it all wrong. I didn’t have anything to do with her death.’ ” But William wouldn’t hear it!…

BLONDE Lisa Brown has wasted away from a healthy, stunning 140-pound model to an 89-pound bag of bones who has to be fed through a tube due to a rare condition that is starving her to death. Sadly, docs say Brown, 32, and the estimated 400 other patients being treated for Superior Mesenteric Artery Syndrome (SMAS) around the world, have just a 30 percent chance of surviving. SMAS occurs when the aorta and mesenteric arteries pinch part of the small intestine – cutting off nutrients and starving the body. Surgery is highly difficult and dangerous. In just two years, Brown’s weight has plummeted 56 pounds – ONE THIRD of her body weight, leaving her skeletal, weak and in agony from daily bouts of vomiting. “I was vibrant, social, healthy and…