Globe June 6, 2016

PLAYED OUT Whoa! Former Playmate PAMELA ANDERSON’s game is OVER as she leaves a Cannes, France, restaurant at 2 a.m. BITE ME Oh, look! ROBERT DE NIRO does his own manicures — in public, no less! NO HOPE FOR HOT LIPS SALLY KELLERMAN’s looking like the very, very “Last of the Red Hot Lovers,” as she serenades folks in New Hope, Pa. LUKE GOES TO THE DARK SIDE Help him, Obi-Wan Kenobi! Disheveled MARK HAMILL looks like he’s gone to the Dark Side! PIMPLE PLEASURES Seeing boy toy NICK JONAS is making KATE HUDSON so youthful that she’s breaking out like a teenager! THE C-TEAM Poor MR. T is still pitying da fool after all this time. It’s time to retire all those chains!…

GRAMMY-winning crooner Michael Bublé is undergoing serious surgery on his vocal cords, and friends fear he’ll never sing again! Michael, whose hits include “Haven’t Met You Yet” and “Home,” announced the mysterious procedure to fans on the internet without giving any precise details on why he is going under the knife. “I am bowing out of some upcoming events due to pending vocal cord surgery, which will require a period of time for me to rest and recover,” the 40-year-old singer says in the troubling update. “No talking or singing for a while, but my doctors expect a complete recovery. “Thank you in advance for your prayers and good wishes.” Word of the surgery sent stunned friends and fans into a panic! “This is a guy who has been blessed…

GLOBE EXCLUSIVE ‘In a few years, she’ll look like Harvey Korman in drag!’ BOMBSHELL “Dukes of Hazzard” blonde Jessica Simpson appears to have boosted her bosom to freakish proportions — but a top expert says the 5-foot-3 babe is in for a big letdown! After studying before and after photos of the overinflated doll, plastic surgeon Dr. Lyle Back estimates Jessica’s 38EE breasts are now sporting an 800cc implant, “which is the biggest made.” And that’s not a good thing, he says. “They’re too big. She looks like a cage holding back a pair of wild animals ready to escape,” the doc dishes. “To be honest, getting enhancements that large on such a small frame looks like a desperate plea for attention.” In a few years, she’ll be getting another…

MONSTER mom Casey Anthony actually confessed to killing daughter Caylee, then used her sexual wiles on the lawyer who helped her beat the murder rap! Those are the explosive charges leveled by her own private eye, Dominic Casey, in a shocking sworn affidavit that shatters the “not guilty” verdict returned by a Florida jury after a scandal-scarred 2011 murder trial. In his affidavit obtained exclusively by GLOBE, Dominic also testifies there’s “no doubt in my mind that Casey maliciously murdered her daughter. This I firmly believe.” But cunning Casey was acquitted after her defense team, led by Jose Baez, insisted her 2-year-old drowned in the family’s pool — and the tot’s body was hidden by granddad George Anthony! Casey, now 30, was so frantic to avoid life in prison she’d…

AIRPORT security lines are so long and slow — passengers thought one man waiting to board a plane had actually died! Fortunately, the rotting, wheelchair bound man sitting in the TSA line at Atlanta International Airport wasn’t what he appeared. The corpse was a frighteningly realistic prop from the 2003 slasher flick “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”! However, even he had to go through the hellish screening process! And maybe it’s lucky he wasn’t alive to endure the horror. Due to a shortage of qualified workers, TSA lines are a nightmare, especially in Chicago where passengers at both airports have just been advised to arrive at least THREE hours before their flights — and nearly 500 people missed their planes altogether! It’s going to get just as grim at other major…

QUEEN Elizabeth may be 90, but she proved she has all her marbles when she outfoxed a slippery spy from Red China who tried to sneak into her royal carriage with other officials by posing as an “interpreter.” But the outrageous incident left the spry monarch seething and blasting the commies as “very rude.” The explosive diplomatic brouhaha — kept under wraps until a palace insider spilled the royal beans — happened last October when the queen hosted Chinese President Xi Jinping and his wife as they visited England. As the monarch and foreign bigwigs were about to ride off in a royal carriage down The Mall to Buckingham Palace, a Chinese man tried to push his way into the carriage claiming to be a translator! “The spy attempted to…