Tabla de contenidos para November 2025 en Viz

ANORTHAMPTON father of three set an undesirable record last week when he became the first man in Britain to die of clickbait. Retired gas fitter Bartram Figgis, 68, was found unconscious on the settee in front of his laptop by his wife Janine. After failing to rouse him, Mrs Figgis called emergency services who arrived just six minutes later. Despite the best efforts of paramedics to revive him, Mr Figgis was pronounced dead at the scene. According to Janine, her husband had been spending increasing amounts of time clicking on tantalising and titivating news stories on his laptop, and over the last month had spent almost 18 hours each day clicking on links promising to reveal what sexually attractive film stars of the 80s and 90s looked like now, £1…

MY WIFE went to London and took this picture of the Prince and Princess of Wales. Fantastic. Colin, Harrow THIS IS my brush with the celebrated actor Tamsin Greig. Ros Tyler, email HERE’S a great photo taken at Matt Goss’s Christmas show at The Hilton Glasgow a couple of years ago. Elaine, Glasgow AFTER recently witnessing a comedy masterclass by comedian Ben Elton, imagine my good luck that my mate Dave had his camera with him when we met the We Will Rock You funster at the stage door after the show! Brian Bayley, email…

WHEN I heard that Robert Redford had died, I wept. I wept and I wept and I wept. I wept for the death of my childhood hero of the silver screen. When he took his last breath upon this earth, the golden age of film died with him. But then I remembered something that I once read on Pinterest – ‘Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened’. And that made me think. A world where Robert Redford is dead is bad. But a world where he never existed would be a lot worse. And so I smiled. I smiled and I smiled and I smiled. I smiled because for 89 years we had all been blessed with his presence on this planet we call home. I smiled in…

WE all love a nice fight, be it on the street, in the pub or at a wedding, and our favourite celebs are no different. And hidden in the word grid are the names of 15 stars who have at one point in their lives had a bit of a public dust-up. Can you find them all? They may read horizontally, vertically or diagonally, backwards or forwards. In the 226 pages crushed between its muscle-bound covers, you’ll find: ★ A bodysplash of your favourite cartoons – The Fat Slags, Johnny Fartpants, Mrs Brady Old Lady, Roger Mellie, Eight Ace, Nobby’s Piles, Biffa Bacon, Raffles the Gentleman Thug and many more. ★ A smackdown of educational features – Top of the Plops, 10 Things You Never Knew About AI, Vicars vs Vets vs…

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STRLETTER I FULLY understand these people who believe that America never landed on the moon. I once worked with a lad who reckoned he went to Ibiza every weekend to DJ in some massive club. We all knew it was utter bollocks, but we went along with it because he used to get us cheap fags from his dad who worked on a ferry. Ben M, Rochester BACK IN 2019, it was very moving to see Barbara Windsor standing on the steps of Downing Street, campaigning for improvements in the government’s funding of dementia care. But how much more attention would she had got if, upon thrusting the petition into the PM’s hands, her bra had pinged off and hit Boris Johnson in the face? I think the late Dame…

FROM Land’s Fiend to John O’Groans (i.e. from Land’s End to John O’Groats, but with their names changed slightly to make them sound spooky), we all love Halloween. On October 31st, every single decent, non-Marxist Brit enjoys carving a ghoulish face into a ripe pumpkin, festooning the house in crepe paper cobwebs, and dressing up in a scary costume to go trick-ortreating. It’s a Great British Tradition that dates back to the signing of the Magna Carta, the building of Stonehenge, and the evolution of lobe-finned fish into amphibious, land-dwelling lifeforms. But surprise, surprise! Just like every other Great British Tradition, this spooktacular day of harmless fun is UNDER ATTACK from the sanctimonious PC Brigade, who are intent on sucking the fun out of it with their easily-offended, hand-wringing nonsense.…

WE are a quarter of the way into the twenty first century, and the digital age is here to stay. Computers make our decisions for us, robots build the products we buy on the internet, and social media enables good ideas to spread across the planet at the speed of light. It is a completely different world from the one our parents knew just a few decades ago. Technology is king and it will reign forever. And as the world changes, Britain as a nation must change with it, grasp the new technologies and march forward. If we do not, we risk being left behind, floundering in the wake of other nations who have embraced the new world. But with the Reform Party riding high in the polls, it is clear…

Across 6 Round shit covered in spunk, abrasive (8) 7/3 Manipulation of cunt has effing ruck break out (6,4) 9 It’s a mystery how sod got wonky nob fixed (6,5) 11 Yum-yum milf (also rhyming with ‘bum’ and ‘cum’, tee-hee) (3) 12 Queen, say, measurer of king’s penis, perhaps? (5) 13/13D Post-vasectomy sperm exchanged for peagreen slugs (5-4,7) 14 Fierce wind ripped a ‘dom, back end gone (7) 16 As stud rogered, first of wankjuice swallowed - that with spit? (7) 18 Outpourings of anger said when shit-faced (9) 20 European or Asian heading for Uranus (oo-er) in Finnish city (5) 21 One can’t fuck - not a fucking thing, reportedly? (3) 22 Wrinkly paste with second smelly present for granny? (7,4) 24 Fish I’d seen mopping up last of…

THE phrase ‘I’ll Eat My Hat’ is used to emphasise how unlikely an event is – that something is so implausible, you are willing to do something incredibly foolish should it come about. But is eating your hat actually such a foolish thing to do? As the Earth’s population grows exponentially, with billions of mouths to feed we will be forced to widen our food horizons and consider new sources of nutrition. Algae farms have recently been developed in coastal areas, and for many years insects have been added to our diet in various forms. Could hats be the next ingredient to be served up in our non-stop quest to feed the planet? Viz science correspondent Professor Stanley Jordan takes an in-depth look at the way hats may play a…

RECREATE the video for The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony by strutting down your high street, aggressivelyshoulder-barging anyone who gets in your way.  KevinCaswell-Jones c/o Accident & Emergency Unit, Wrexham Maelor Hospital SAVE money on expensive breakfast cereals by staying in bed until dinner time. Cobalt Jester, Rossendale CONVINCE fellow travellers in the airport baggage reclaim area that you are amedal-winning athlete by running around and posing for selfies whilst draped with a large flag. Da, Cape Cod RECREATE all the mystery and suspense of treasure hunts and escape rooms by trying to collect a hire car at Dublin airport. Rim Tobinson, Liverpool SPECTATORS at the USA Open golf tournament. Whether or not a putt is successfully made depends on a complex interplay of kinetics, frictional forces and gravity. Shouting “Get in…

WE WILL all remember what we were doing when we heard of the tragic death of my best friend Robert Redford. I was perusing the menu at SubliMotion in Ibiza (the number one most expensive restaurant in the world) which offers a unique dining experience to those, like me, who can afford the €1500 per plate pricetag. The restaurant is small and exclusive, seating only 12 diners, and I had taken it over with 11 of my other best friends, Johnny Depp, Beyoncé, Samuel L Jackson, Christiano Ronaldo, Barack Obama, Jennifer Lopez, Joe Swash, Wim Hoff, Eminem, Richard Fairbrass and Melania Trump. I was just about to order the first of 20 courses, a small but decorative appetiser that the restaurant is famous for, when my iPhone 18 – which…

ARECENT poll suggested that nearly 80% of Brits don’t believe in ghosts, believing apparitions to be a trick of the light, the workings of a tired mind, or simply the results of an over-active imagination. But one man who is sure they are real and walking amongst us is Sunderland-born FRAMPTON PALLISADE. That’s because 52-year-old Frampton was born with the eerie ability to see departed spirits. And not only that – amazingly, he’s able to converse with them too! But whilst the former warehouseman is not alone in claiming to possess this gift, he is unique amongst the psychic community in that he only sees the spirits of dead pop stars. “I don’t know why it’s only ever the ghosts of pop stars I see, but it is,” he says. “People…

The first 6 correct competition entries tugged out of Roger’s email sack will win a Viz Craptic Crossword mug. Please email a photo of your entry to letters@viz.co.uk with ‘Craptic Crossword’ as the subject. The first correct entry out of Roger’s electronic sack on FRIDAY 31ST OCTOBER will win a CHEQUE for £50.00, a CRAPTIC CROSSWORD MUG and a VIZ CHEAP PEN. The next 5 entries win a mug and pen, but not the money. NOTE: We are no longer accepting crossword entries by post. £50 WINNER: Joan Walker and Ben Davies, London.n RUNNERS UP: Darren Betts, Norwich; Adam Keeble, Chattisham; Hugh Sutherland, Oxford; Andrew McPhail, Bedfordshire; Don Ross, Shrewsbury.…

BEFORE the 2015-2016 football season kicked off, many pundits expected Leicester City to be relegated. After their struggles of the previous year, bookies set odds of 5000-1 for the East Midlands outfit to win the Premier League title. But a good start to their campaign saw them riding high in the table, and by Christmas they were even being talked of as possible title contenders. But Manchester United fan Harry Treebark was not convinced that success awaited the Foxes. He confidently predicted that they would not win the title, and in the unlikely event that they did, he vowed he would EAT HIS HAT! EXCLUSIVE! Leicester City went on to win the league by a comfortable ten points, but Treebark failed to make good on his promise. Now, almost a…