Tabla de contenidos para November 2022 en Viz

Record Collector Presents… Iron Maiden is a brand-new, one-off magazine celebrating one of the most revered and successful bands in heavy metal. Condensing the career of an outfit who have enjoyed stellar success and been sonic pioneers for over 40 years is a challenge which some of the biggest names in rock journalism have faced head-on. Here, fans and collectors will learn a wealth of new information about the band, as we trace their history from their East End roots, telling the story of all 17 studio albums as well as investigating the live albums and tour films. We profile Iron Maiden’s most collectible releases, and investigate some of their choicest memorabilia. Meanwhile, the people closest to the band tell us how they created an empire, including the phenomenon of…

MAGGOT-COCKED Daily Mail journalist RICHARD LITTLEJOHN has used his latest newspaper column to launch a furious attack on the cushy conditions in the infernal realm of Hell. Littlejohn, 68, slammed the diabolical afterlife for ‘going soft’ following a brief visit to the underworld during a near-death experience whilst choking on a pork scratching. “After a few minutes of sputtering and gasping for air, I saw a bright light, and then wallop! I was standing in front of a flaming gate with the words 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here' emblazoned above it,” the thimble-choppered arsehole wrote. "I knew instantly that I'd arrived at the bottomless pit of eternal despair,” he added. Initially fearful of setting foot in the sulphurous netherworld of unending agony, Littlejohn’s concern soon turned to fury.…

With The Naked Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy, Jacob Rees-Mogg Salvete servi! Although my strict diet of swan foie gras and quinoa produces a refined, steady supply of flatulence, I occasionally slum it with simpler fare such as this cheap-asfrixum capsicum annuum gruel recipe. Gruel is a proper tasty mouthful – a bit like porridge – and for not very much pecunia, it will get you chuffing your way to cheaper fuel bills! Simply follow the recipe below and with a little practice you’ll be knocking this cheeky morsel up in no time, not only giving yourself a warm gruel glow inside, but also producing enough bottom flatus to power your household for days on end. Recipe First grab yourself a handful of our old amica,…

ROYAL REPRESENTATIVES have announced that Prince Andrew is making preparations to have ‘another go’ at his disastrous Newsnight interview with journalist Emily Maitlis. The tainted royal was subjected to the car crash TV quizzing 3 years ago, and his reputation was trashed as a result. But according to Palace insiders, Andrew has been working hard on arranging a rematch after acknowledging a few flaws in his performance in the first exchange. Royal insiders say he now believes he could ‘nail it’ second time around and get the British public on his side. “His former Highness has been cramming for months in order to get all the questions right that Ms Maitlis puts to him,” said a royal spokesman. “He really has got it spot on this time.” It is believed…

YOUR theological fireworks and bonfire night questions enquiries answered by the Archbishop of Canterbury, JUSTIN WELBY Dear AB of C, 5‘SO-CALLED’ scientistsEVERY November 5th I organise a huge firework display in my garden for friends and acquaintances from our local church. I make sure never to invite any atheists along, as God doesn’t like them. However, in recent years I have noticed my heathen neighbour enjoying my display from his upstairs window. The thought of giving pleasure to a blasphemer really boils my piss, if you’ll excuse the expression, but I don’t want to cancel the fireworks. What should I do? Gervase Pornhub, Tunbridge Wells The AB of C says: “I can understand your frustration, Mr Pornhub. One idea would be to hold your fireworks display indoors, away from your godless…

WITH energy prices through the roof, we’re all looking for new and inventive ways to cut down on our energy usage. Turning off unused lights and switching the television off at the plug are well-known energy saving tips, but modern Britain has become so reliant on its electricity and gas supplies that it’s not easy to cut back without making even larger lifestyle changes. We asked some A-list celebrities for their energy-saving tips. Jeremy Clarkson WHEN I FIRST got wind that the energy prices were going up, I decided to go entirely off-grid by connecting a couple of jump leads between the main fuse board of my Chipping Norton mansion and the battery of my Range Rover Autobiography V8. Now I just run the Rover’s engine 24/7 and use the electricity…

FROM THE NORTHERNMOST tip of Greenland to the southernmost point of Antarctica, it’s all anyone is talking about: Which is the best famous British chant that begins with the words ‘Come on…’ and ends with a Christian name? For many, the obvious answer is “Come on Tim!” – the iconic exasperated cry that rang around Wimbledon’s Centre Court every summer throughout the 2000s, until tennis ace Tim Henman got his arse handed to him in the quarter finals. For others, the clear response is “Come on Eileen!” – the maddeningly catchy pop chorus shouted by Birmingham rockers Dexys Midnight Runners on their 1982 hit single of the same name. Both idioms will go down in the annals of British history – of that there is no doubt. But which one…

WITH THE sad passing of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II last month, for the first time in over 70 years Britain finds itself governed by a King: KING PRINCE CHARLES III. But who is this mysterious royal who sat in the shadows for so many years while the Queen dutifully graced both the throne and our stamps? Where did he appear from? What is his background? And what makes this newly-crowned monarch tick? As ever, the answer is all in the name… P is for PHEASANTS PRINCE CHARLES is the Guinness World Record Holder for Most Regal Person to Shoot the Largest Number of Pheasants. The original record, set by in 1865, stood at 78 birds shot by a Viscount, CHARLES ABERGELDIE, during an afternoon’s shooting on his estate in…

MY PHONE rang. Incidentally, it’s the very latest iPhone - and I don’t mean the 14 Pro Max. It’s the one they’re bringing out after that. Two after that*, actually, and you can’t buy it in the shops because they haven’t released it yet. It’s on 10G, so it even works on a different system with five more Gs than anyone else’s phone. That’s according to my very good friends Buzz Aldrin, Andi Peters, Lulu and Denis Law. *Actually, three. My gold iPhone 18 had indeed rung at the wrong time, as I was at that moment in the middle of an exclusive birthday party. A selection of my very closest personal friends, including Megan Thee Stallion, Clive Tyldesley, Professor Brian Cox, Joan Armatrading and Little Jimmy Krankie were giving me…

WHEN I HEARD the news that Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen of England had died, I wept. I wept and I wept and I wept. I wept real tears. Not like the crocodile tears I wept for celebrities. These were real tears. British tears. Red, white and blue tears. For the Queen was mother to this nation, and we loved her as much – if not even a little bit more – than our own mothers. And when she passed away at the age of (writing this in 2017 so drop age in here) at her beloved (drop in castle or palace where she carked it) a little piece of all of us died with her. Yes, she lived a life of great privilege. A life of influence.…