Tabla de contenidos para March 2019 en OUT

Eve sits in marvel at the beauty of the new being, welling her fingers over the new taut skin, watching the little mouth sing agape with the coils of sleep wringing through it. For the first time since the first time, she is abuzz with the blood of creation, with the newness of human accomplishment. Adam sits at the opposite end of the green field, watching the mother and offspring wade in a language he does not understand. He is ashamed of his delayed body, ripe with abrasions of powerlessness. He picks away at the limbs of a leaf, seething at the sorcery, everything out of reach. Man’s insurmountable vista—the beginning of what it means to not belong.…

Hi Ashley, I’m currently in a relationship and it’s turned toxic. My partner is going through a bad bout of depression, which is spurring a lot of anger directed toward me. I’ve been locked out of my apartment, left places without a ride, and walked out on countless times. For my own well-being, this relationship needs to die. But I’m having trouble finding the confidence to leave. My anxiety flares when I begin to think of leaving our apartment to find a place on my own, being single again, and not having anyone to fall asleep next to every night. Do you have any advice on how to gain the self-worth and confidence to remove myself from this toxic place? Sincerely, R. This person also lived with depression (as do…

OH, FEMME TOPS, HOW I LOVE YOU, LUST FOR YOU—worship you, even. I’ve been with tops of every gay persuasion, but in my heart of hearts (and my crotch of crotches), none hold a rosewater-scented candle to the femme variety. After all, was it not the great lesbian novelist Ann Bannon who proclaimed, and I quote, “She who wields both strap-on harness and stiletto heels is a Goddess amongst women?” Was it not? No, it wasn’t. I said that. It was me. Femmes are glorious. We take something society deems vulnerable and weak (femininity) and turn it into a strength that defies the male gaze. It’s beauty that exists outside the straight world’s parameters, and within queer femme expression and identity, we exist on a spectrum of sharp and soft—sharpness…

THREE YEARS BEFORE THE STONEWALL RIOTS LIT THE FLAME of the LGBTQ+ Movement, the Compton’s Cafeteria Riot of 1966 poured the lighter fluid on the pavement. As recounted in author Susan Stryker’s 2005 documentary, Screaming Queens, the San Francisco uprising began after years of police profiling and harassment when a fed-up drag queen threw a hot cup of coffee in a police officer’s face. “[Gene Compton’s Cafeteria] erupted. People started throwing everything they could get their hands on at the police,”she recalls in the film. “Before it was over, a police car was destroyed, the corner newsstand was set on fire, and years of pent-up resentment boiled out into the night. It was the first known instance of collective, militant, queer resistance to police harassment in United States history.” While…

EDDIE JAREL JONESX, 24 PRONOUNS: HE/SHE/THEY/SIS CLEVELAND, OHIO I can’t remember how young I was, but I had a love for my mom’s size-6 high heels. I’d come home from school and be all by myself—so I’d dance in them, hittin’ the runway, practicing walking up and down the stairs. It's funny because people nowadays say,“You know how to walk in heels better than girls!” and I'm like, “There's no shade, I've honestly been doing it a lot longer than most girls." I started wearing makeup and clothes from the“girls”side of the store in college at Lincoln University. It was very cool to see that a lot of the Black men on campus really did not care about me presenting as femme. I was taken aback, because there’s a stereotype…

March 11, 1979 Sylvester premiered the album Stars in San Francisco, and the day was proclaimed “Sylvester Day” in the city. March 28, 1986 Lady Gaga is born. March 1, 1996 Release of Carole S. LaFavor’s book Along the Journey River March 6, 2000 Shabnam Mausi, the first hijra elected to public office in India, takes her seat in the assembly. March 31, 2009 International Transgender Day of Visibility is founded by Rachel Crandall. March 4, 2017 Brazilian trans model Valentina Sampaio is on the cover of Vogue Paris. March 10, 2018 Tourmaline and Sasha Wortzel release the film Happy Birthday, Marsha! March 14, 2018 Politician and journalist Marielle Franco is assassinated in Brazil. March 22, 2018 Lena Waithe announced as the cover of Vanity Fair.…

AS A CHILD, MY FAVORITE STORIES were the ones where the kids deceived the adults in innocent ways. Harriet the Spy and From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler were books about children who created their own systems of value and reality—who instinctively understood that there was no spoon, that life contained greater mystery than the adults let on, or even knew about, and set out to manifest it for themselves. Maybe that’s why I liked being mistaken for a boy so much when I was young. I lived in an androgynous cocoon of overalls and scruffy Nikes, my hair a drifting afro puff with a ducktail. Shopkeepers and servers in restaurants often complimented my parents on having such a cute son. I reveled in those slippery moments;…

Have you heard about“spoon theory”? It’s a way of visualizing chronic pain and disability-related fatigue that says we all have a limited number of spoons to spend each day. A disabled person might have fewer spoons because they may need more to complete a simple task—like getting dressed or riding the train. I have a prosthetic leg, and sometimes I use a wheelchair. So when I go out, I might decide that I’ll spend a bunch of my daily spoon allowance on dancing. If I dance, I won’t have enough spoons to keep standing, and I’ll need to sit down. (I could always skip the dancing, but I deserve a little joy.) If a space doesn’t have seating or has a flight of stairs, then it’s not accessible. If a…

LIKE MOST COOL QUEER PEOPLE, Gloria Noto was a goth in high school.“I would paint masks on my face and make myself look sick or like I had done a bunch of drugs,”she explains, laughing.“I would just look messed up.” Makeup was the perfect conduit for Noto’s obsession with punk art and music, as well as a revolt against the heightened glamour of the Sicilian women in her family. The beauty she was drawn to didn’t fall in line with the way she was taught women were supposed to look. She learned that being a woman was “always having to edit yourself, to make yourself look more presentable.” But even Noto’s goth rebellion started to feel oppressive eventually, so she pivoted to a more natural aesthetic. “I hit a point…

FOR JACK QU’EMI GUTIÉRREZ, HAVING AN ABORTION didn’t come down to just paying $500 and finding a way to get to the clinic. Like many of their doctors’ office visits, it meant hiding their gender identity to avoid difficult conversations with medical providers. As an Afro-Latinx nonbinary person, the ultrasound (required by Florida law) before the medical abortion and the subsequent“gory”induced miscarriage left them not only bedridden, but heightened their discomfort with their body. “It was awful,” Gutiérrez says of the days following the 2011 ordeal.“A lot of my dysphoria comes from having a uterus and how people perceive how I look. I was like, ‘I want to pretend I don’t have a vagina.’” There’s a misconception that queer and trans people, like Gutiérrez, don’t need abortion access or that…

MAPPLETHORPE Matt Smith plays Robert Mapplethorpe, chronicling his rise to fame in the 1970s. (In theaters March 1) GRETA Chloë Grace Moretz stars as a young, naive woman trying to make it in New York City. (In theaters March 1) CAPTAIN MARVEL Earth is caught in an intergalactic war between two alien races; Brie Larson stars. (In theaters March 8) GLORIA BELL Julianne Moore stars as a free-spirited woman in her 50s who seeks out love at Los Angeles clubs. (In theaters March 8) US Tranquility turns to chaos when uninvited visitors converge on a young family’s beach house. (In theaters March 22) SHRILL Aidy Bryant stars in a new series adapted from the titular Lindy West book. (On Hulu March 15)…

MELISSA ETHERIDGE She won twice in the same category: Best Female Rock Vocal Performance in 1992 and 1994. TRACY CHAPMAN This four-time winner and “Fast Car” songstress earned three prizes in 1988 alone. K.D. LANG Of her four Grammy wins, she most recently took home gold for Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album in 2003. LILY TOMLIN Her 1971 comedy album This Is a Recording earned Tomlin the prize for Best Comedy Recording. INDIGO GIRLS The duo’s self-titled album, which went platinum, won for Best Contemporary Folk Recording in 1989.…

Kate: Hey Barbara, Out magazine wants us to write love letters to each other, to go with the photos they’re taking. Barbara: Well, your favorite bit from the Tao Te Ching says that the greatest lo~e seems indifferent so here we go: I love you. Done. Kate: Aw hun, we gotta do more than that. Barbara: Huh. How’s this? Of course it’s delightful that our 21-year relationship feeds, nourishes, and delights us. It’s even more magical and meaningful when it can be of nourishing and delightful service to others. Kate: Yeah, like that. And I love you with the kind of fullness that I love our cats and dogs. Barbara: Me, I love to travel with you, you’re a wonderful travel companion, and that’s become a metaphor for who we…

In the show notes for Louis Vuitton’s Spring/ Summer 2019 collection, Men’s Artistic Director Virgil Abloh cites The Wizard of Oz as one of his inspirations. He describes Dorothy, the film's famed protagonist, as “a farm girl from the Midwest transported to Oz, a fairytale land where she experiences things beyond the reach of her imagination.” Of the many dreamy looks that hit the runways this season, nothing blurred the lines of fashion and fantasy quite like Abloh’s interpretation of the classic Vuitton “Keepall,” a duffle ubiquitous among the jet set and coveted by—well, the rest of us. Rendered in iridescent PVC (as opposed to classic leather), the bag truly looks otherworldly, as though it’s been kissed by Glinda’s wand. While it may have been designed with Ms. Dorothy in…

Dear Reader, When I came aboard as guest editor for Out’s first women and nonbinary femmes issue, I had a mission to answer one question: What does it mean to be us today? This could only be answered by those who’ve struggled with it themselves. It’s precisely why, for the first time in this magazine’s history, this issue was built entirely by women and nonbinary femmes—from our fashion stylists, makeup artists, and hair teams to our photographers, writers, and subjects. Then there are our cover stars: activists Miss Major Griffin-Gracy and Tourmaline (f.k.a. Reina Gossett), who front our feature “The Mothers and Daughters of the Movement” (p. 59–81), celebrating and centering the Black women who’ve been fighting on the frontlines of race, class, gender, and sexuality from the 1960s to…

KIA LABEIJA LOVES LOOKING AT PEOPLE’S CLOSETS with her artistic eye: the colors, the textures, what the garments say about the person who hung them up. The 28-year-old artist and Overall Mother of the House of LaBeija—yes, the legendary house Crystal LaBeija founded in the 1970s that changed ball culture forever—remembers going into her grandmother’s closet as a kid and marveling at all of the gorgeous fabrics draped overhead. “A person’s space tells you a lot about who they are,” LaBeija says. “My grandmother had a big closet filled with very beautiful clothes: a lot of traditional Filipino gowns and some very classic-looking dresses from the ’70s. Everything always fit her so perfectly. Even towards the end of her life, when we’d go running in the morning, she’d wear this…

I FUCKING LOVE PLASTIC SURGERY. In the words of my idol Dolly Parton,“If something is bagging, sagging, or dragging, I’ll tuck it, suck it, or pluck it.” As a trans woman who loves beauty, I’ve used plastic surgery for both cosmetic and transition-related procedures, and contrary to what a lot of folks think, there is a huge difference between the two. Cosmetic surgeries merely change our appearance, while transition-related surgeries change the relationship between our body and our gender. In essence, they change our minds. By the time I began my medical transition, male puberty had already created permanent changes to my body. While some folks have access to trans health care at a young age and are able to suppress puberty until they can medically transition, I didn’t find…

1. NOTO BOTANICS DEEP SERUM A face, neck, and hand serum that is “super hydrating but doesn’t leave you feeling greasy. It doesn’t break you out and can really transform skin over time.” $50 2. NOTO BOTANICS HYDRA HIGHLIGHTER POT This radiant product will give a “dewy, natural finish with a slight glow to it that doesn’t make you look glittery or too hyper highlighted—plus, it has a lot of skin-healing qualities.” $25 3. NOTO BOTANICS MULTI-BENNE STAIN POT IN ONO ONO (INSET, BELOW) “You can use this burnt peach on lips, cheeks, or eyes. Just dab a little bit onto the cheekbone or wear a burnt orange color on your lips. It’s really pigmented, so a little goes a long way.” $27 4. NOTO BOTANICS ROOTED OIL (INSET, TOP)…

IF ANGELA DIMAYUGA WAS ONLY KNOWN TO THE WORLD AS A TALENTED CHEF a few years back—when she earned her stripes as the cool-girl cook behind cult-favorite eatery Mission Chinese,known for its innovative,tongue-numbing riffs on Sichuan snacks—she’s since transformed into something of a multidisciplinary artist. In addition to slinging street-food-inspired noshes, she’s modeled for Opening Ceremony and Gauntlett Cheng, designed a genderless swimsuit made of recycled plastic bottles for Los Angeles–based label Everybody.World, and brought an impressionistic Rousseau painting to life as a banquet-style feast for a Kenzo runway show in Paris. Accordingly, her ethos as a chef regularly sees her imagining edible experiences at the intersection of art, fashion, nightlife, and politics. In her new role as creative director of food and culture for The Standard (as of spring…

1. TRAP DOOR: TRANS CULTURAL PRODUCTION AND THE POLITICS OF VISIBILITY EDITED BY TOURMALINE AND ERIC A. STANLEY “I spend a lot of time thinking about the achievements of trans people in the mainstream, juxtaposed with the lopsided murder rate and acts of violence we experience as a community and individuals. I often wonder if visibility alone is enough. Trap Door brings these thoughts to life in a poetic and beautiful way.” PEPPERMINT DRAG ARTIST 2. REDEFINING REALNESS BY JANET MOCK “Mock’s path to self-discovery is unique and important for trans women of color, and I highly recommend it. Through her journey, trans women of color could witness the possibilities to not only survive, but to thrive and reach our full potential.” JENNICET GUTIÉRREZ ACTIVIST 3.…

WHEN LISA CANNISTRACI OPENED HENRIETTA HUDSON IN 1991, getting the word out was a major undertaking. There were no group texts, no Facebook, and no Twitter—let alone a robust internet. She did things the old-school way: spending hundreds of dollars and countless hours mailing advertisements for the bar’s parties. “Six of us would sit around a long table and stuff envelopes, then you had to seal them and stamp them, and then—they were really heavy—you had to carry them to the post office,” she says. Those humble beginnings, including her first bartending gig at the original Cubbyhole in New York City’s West Village in the mid-1980s, influenced her approach to managing lesbian bars. When that Cubbyhole closed in 1990, Cannistraci never envisioned opening a bar herself. It was Minnie Rivera,…