Globe May 21, 2018

MONKEY BUSINESS That ’70s Show alum ASHTON KUTCHER goes ape at a Beverly Hills jungle gym FORK THIS! Not-so-glam JENNIFER LOPEZ is keeping it a little too real in West Hollywood BUSTIN’ LOOSE Chains can’t keep in Goodfellas’ RAY LIOTTA, who makes a break for it in a Brentwood lot FOREVER YOUNG Grandpa ROD STEWART forgets he’s 73 as he kicks up his heels at a New Orleans jazz festival BAHAMA MAMA! Former Dukes of Hazzard beauty JESSICA SIMPSON is living large in the Carribbean WHATTA SNOOZER! Aging ex-Disney darling HILARY DUFF, 30, is nearly asleep on her feet…

CONVICTED sex fiend Bill Cosby is being held in a $5 million private prison. He’s under house arrest at his posh Pennsylvania estate where the pampered pervert is living high on the hog — puffing $1,000 Cuban cigars, dining on gourmet foods, popping prescription pills and enjoying rubdowns by a masseuse! Now, in a world exclusive, GLOBE reveals what’s going on inside the mansion where the perv’s companions are a personal chef, housekeeper, limo driver and wife Camille, who plans to launch a $400 million divorce, sources say. Ironically, the mansion on the five-acre estate in the leafy Philadelphia suburb Cheltenham is where the sicko lured and drugged Andrea Constand in 2004. Now he’s facing 30 years in the slammer for indecently assaulting her. The 80-year-old funnyman, who’s been accused…

GRAMMY winner Alanis Morissette has transformed herself from an edgy punk princess into a nerdy soccer mom! The 43-year-old You Oughta Know singer now sports a jagged little pixie ’do, granny glasses and a shiny new face thanks to cosmetic enhancements, according to experts who have not treated her. “It appears that she may have undergone a face-lift, upper and lower blepharoplasty, and some nasal reshaping, including a tip rhinoplasty,” says plastic surgeon Dr. Renato Calabria. Two other experts believe Alanis has perked up with Botox! “It looks like she’s had a significant amount of Botox in the forehead and crow’s-feet areas, giving her a bloated look,” says Dr. Otto Placik, who believes she’s also undergone an upper eyelid lift and a face-lift. Dr. Anthony Youn adds: “She’s clearly had…

PRINCE Charles and boozy wife Camilla have been blacklisted from seeing the new royal baby — because his parents suspect Charles played a role in Princess Diana’s death! Sources tell GLOBE the silver-haired pair will have their required royal photo ops with little Prince Louis — but a palace insider snitches that Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, and hubby Prince William don’t want the two around the baby under any other circumstance “because they don’t want him exposed to a killer!” “William and Kate suspect Charles had a hand in ex-wife Princess Diana’s death and have ordered him, ‘Stay away from us!’” the insider spills. “Neither Charles nor Camilla will be made welcome at Louis’ baptism or birthdays to come!” Relations are already tense over who will succeed Queen Elizabeth…

CAMERON DIAZ is spiraling into a paralyzing paranoia after hearing Taylor Swift’s psycho stalker broke into the Shake It Off singer’s New York City townhouse! “Cameron is terrified the same thing will happen to her — she’s even hired a 24-hour security guard to keep watch over her L.A. mansion,” an insider tells GLOBE. “Her house is walled off from the street and impenetrable as it is. She’s become totally paranoid — especially after what happened to Taylor, and Sandra Bullock a couple of years back.” Crazed fan Joshua J. Corbett busted into Sandra’s home in 2014 — waking the Speed star out of a sound sleep before he appeared at her bedroom door! Insiders say home is where Cameron’s heart is, as the “Charlie’s Angels” cutie, 45, is happily nesting…

TAKIN’ THE JOY OUT OF IT Liberal yakker JOY REID’s been making her bones on MSNBC as a DONALD TRUMP hater, but wait ’til network kingpins learn she took the future prez’s side during his notorious 2007 public feud with ROSIE O’DONNELL, then co-host of The View. On her old blog, Joy totally backed Trump, calling his insults of Rosie “kick ass funny” and insisting, “I’m square for The Donald on this one.” Joy even scolded View boss BARBARA WALTERS, who stayed neutral during the mudslinging, saying: “How much longer until that chubbed-out shrew Rosie O’Donnell gets her fat ass canned [by Barbara].” Joy’s already had to apologize for supposed homophobic remarks on the blog, which she claims were posted by hackers. Now, her Trump-loving could be the final straw…