Globe November 27, 2017

BUTT SERIOUSLY! Shameless reality star SCOTT DISICK gets to the bottom of things in the hills of Calabasas, Calif. TOTAL BOOB Sir KENNETH BRANAGH brazenly admires MICHELLE PFEIFFER’s assets on the red carpet in London HIGH SPIRITS Model CHRISTIE BRINKLEY, 63, is the life of the party at New York City’s GoldBar PUSH COMES TO SHOVE Ally McBeal star PORTIA DE ROSSI gets bested by a Beverly Hills door while running errands SNACK ATTACK Let’s Get Loud singer JENNIFER LOPEZ goes from glam to gross with this disgusting dinner pick! THE HUSTLER Skin mag king LARRY FLYNT, who was paralyzed by a sniper’s bullet in 1978, gets a hand settling into his gold-plated wheelchair GLOBE (ISSN 1094-6047) Vol. 64 No. 48, is published weekly by American Media, Inc. 4 New…

WORLD EXCLUSIVE JOHNNY Depp is drinking himself blind! The boozy bad boy has been blind in his left eye since birth — and now he claims he’s gone from nearsighted to farsighted in his right! “Everything is just very, very blurry,” says the 54-year-old actor. “I’ve never had proper vision.” But one doctor believes Johnny’s eyesight woes are self-inflicted — and due to alcohol! “You can’t go from nearsighted to farsighted,” says New York internist Dr. Stuart Fischer, who has not treated Johnny. “He drinks like a fish, and drinking — especially to excess — can lead to circulatory issues and neurological illnesses that can lead to impaired vision.” The Pirates of the Caribbean lout admitted to battling the bottle early in his career. “I was poisoning myself with alcohol,”…

LOUDMOUTH comic Rosie O’Donnell bounced back from the Sept. 11 suicide of ex-wife Michelle Rounds — right into the arms of arresting blond bombshell Elizabeth Rooney, 33, who works as a cop in Worcester, Mass. “It’s the first time I’ve dated someone younger than me. It’s a very trippy thing,” says twice-wed Rosie, 55, who adds she’s “in love” but has no plans to remarry — “ever!” MEANWHILE, Ivana Trump has been getting cozy — again — with 23-years-younger exhubby Rossano Rubicondi, and pals wonder if GLOBE’s former advice columnist is reheating things with the 45-year-old restaurateur, who’s opening a pizza place in NYC! The pair divorced in 2011 and he’s flying to Rome with Ivana to promote her book, Raising Trump. Hmmm ... REALITY TV jailbird Jersey Joe Giudice…

TV TEXAS Ranger Chuck Norris has launched his own probe into what he suspects is a sinister plot to poison his family, sources tell GLOBE in a world exclusive! The 77-year-old former karate champ and movie macho man is convinced his oldest son, Mike and his second wife, Gena, both 54, have already been targeted after they became sick following bizarre incidents, pals say. “Chuck believes someone is targeting his family,” an insider tells GLOBE. “He’s not taking these ‘hits’ lightly. He’s started his own investigation and he’s not going to quit until he gets some answers.” Chuck’s actor-director son Mike claims a mysterious man poisoned him at a June 26, 2016, screening of his controversial movie AmeriGeddon — about the government using a power grid failure to declare martial…

FED-UP Angelina Jolie dumped Brad Pitt over his violent rages, alcoholic benders and verbal abuse! A year after their shocking surprise split, an insider says never-beforeseen divorce documents reveal Angie’s side of the couple’s 12-year relationship — and it’s uglier than anyone could have imagined! “The truth is, Brad drank too much and too often,” a mole tells GLOBE. “Sometimes he’d drink himself into a fury. He could be a scary, mean son of a gun, and it tore up his family. “Brad’s boozing and verbal abuse caused anxiety, and his behavior was building up to a break.” Horrifying turbulence That breaking point came during an incident on a private plane in September 2016, sources say. Raging bull Brad boozed it up during the entire flight, and the couple’s oldest…

COMMON-BORN Princess Kate is taking the royal family to the cleaners with her no-holds-barred taste for expensive bling! Starting with her engagement seven years ago, Prince William’s pregnant wife has nabbed a swag bag of gems worth a staggering $1.5 million! She’ll add to her personal crown jewels after welcoming William’s third child next year! “William always gives Kate an expensive ‘push’ present,” says a royal insider. “Maybe that’s why she keeps getting pregnant — despite the terrible morning sickness she always suffers! She is a tad greedy.” Kate kicked off her great jewelry heist with the 2010 engagement ring — originally belonging to William’s mom, Princess Diana. The sapphire and diamond sparker from Garrard & Co. cost $37,500 when it was commissioned for Diana’s engagement to Prince Charles in…