Globe June 20, 2016

ANCHORS AWEIGH! Looks like skipper JANE FONDA is ready to set sail — outside an L.A. eatery — complete with her own salty sea dog! HOT WHEELS “Austin Powers” star VERNE TROYER is still living large nearly two decades after the hit film — just check out his personal Mini-(Me)-Cooper. SIMPLY CHIN-CREDIBLE! Whoa! What’s happening to MEG RYAN? There are Shar-Pei puppies with fewer wrinkles than her chin MORE EXCLUSIVES IN GLOBE THAN EVER BEFORE! QUEEN ORDERS CAMILLA INTO REHAB DUCHESS OF DORK Ex-royal SARAH FERGUSON slobs around on London Underground public transportation like any ol’ commoner, and looks pretty wrecked while she’s at it! ON THE NOSE Picky DANNY MASTERSON, star of “That ‘70s Show,” clearly knows that you don’t only dig deep for your art! CHILLY WILLY Yikes!…

MONEY - hungry Kardashian momager Kris Jenner wants a miracle revenge baby because a bundle of joy means a bigger bundle of cash! “Kris is the most opportunistic woman in Hollywood,” a family insider tells GLOBE. “So it wouldn’t surprise anyone, not even her kids, if she got pregnant in order to spin another wild story line!” Cash-crazy Kris, 60, also believes there’s ANOTHER bonus to having a baby — sticking it to sex-swapping exhusband Caitlyn Jenner. She’s “hellbent on revenge against Caitlyn for stealing the spotlight,” says the spy. “She’s desperate to put the focus firmly back on her — and having a senior citizen pregnancy would definitely solve the problem!” Caitlyn’s been rolling in endorsements and honors since transitioning from Bruce Jenner last year — and headlining another…

CRIKEY! TV Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin’s merry widow, Terri, has been swept off her feet by his Australian bestie — married actor Russell Crowe! The pair has finally gone public after “several months” of dating on the sly, a friend, who insists they “can’t fight their feelings any longer,” says. But some pals suggest Irwin, who died at age 44 when a stingray barb pierced his heart in 2006, wouldn’t be pleased by the romance. Steve was a traditional family values guy devoted to Terri, 51, and his kids Bindi, 17, and Robert, 12 — and would be devastated his wife has become “the other woman,” an insider says. Although long separated, Crowe, 52, is still wed to Danielle Spencer, 47, mom of his sons, Charles, 12, and Tennyson, 9.…

WORLD EXCLUSIVE! IN HIS tragic last days, wasting away from savage pancreatic cancer, Patrick Swayze was imprisoned in a house of horrors — deserted by his cheating, abusive wife, who left the dying star to wallow in his own filth! That’s the shocking charge by one of the “Dirty Dancing” icon’s closest friends, who rips the lid off what was believed to be a Hollywood fairy-tale marriage that lasted 34 years, ending when Patrick, 57, died of cancer on Sept. 14, 2009. According to the friend, Patrick’s personal hell was made worse in his final months because wife Lisa Niemi kept the actor, who’d shrunk to a pitiful 90 pounds, a prisoner in his own home — banning his mother and loved ones from visiting. The pal says the “Ghost”…

DAYTIME diva Kirsten Storms is on the brink of a total meltdown after a shocking divorce forced her off “General Hospital,” stunned insiders reveal! Less than two months after announcing her split from former “GH” co-star Brandon Barash, 36, a source says the beauty is suffering “stress-induced skin problems that cause her to constantly scratch, especially her face.” Eventually, the blonde’s bizarre condition was “too difficult for ‘GH’ staffers to cover up and producers had no option but to put her on hiatus,” says the insider. “Kirsten is an emotional mess. She’s facing a lot of personal anguish.” Kirsten, 32, and Barash were wed less than three years and have a 2-year-old daughter, Harper Rose. irsten, 32, and Barash were wed less than three years and have a 2-year-old daughter,…

DRUNKEN Camilla has been secretly shipped off to an exclusive rehab center after lashing out at Prince Charles in a furious booze-soaked showdown! The face-off came after Charles was caught red-handed kissing a hunky boytoy — ripping the lid off the royal’s shocking gay life, which was revealed exclusively in GLOBE’s May 30, 2016 issue. “Camilla has never been so humiliated,” says an insider. “She’s long known about Charles’ taste for men, but turned a blind eye. “Seeing photos of him cheating with a man was just too much. She’s been drowning her humiliation in gallons of gin.” The boozy spiral led to a stunning palace confrontation in which the queen’s eldest son and his former mistress discussed a $280 million divorce! “Charles told her she had no chance of…