Globe September 26, 2016

FALLING ASSETS! Normally kute KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN suited up for a seaside vacation in Portofino, Italy — and unfortunately, her butt didn’t kooperate! PICKY RICKY Looks like RICKY MARTIN really digs Livin’ La Vida Loca in Ibiza, Spain! What’snot to like? INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS Either former beauty queen VANESSA WILLIAMS is getting puffy, or she’s turning into CATHERINE ZETA JONES! GONE WITH THE WIND! The scandal-plagued gabman LARRY KING stopped into a Beverly Hills salon for a blow dry — but it doesn’t seem like he enjoyed it! SIGN ON THE BOTTOM LINE D-lister KATHY GRIFFIN got stopped by a fan outside Craig’s in West Hollywood and asked to autograph her own naked photo by a cheeky fan! That cracks us up! TWISTED TROLL! It’s heartwarming that DEE SNIDER…

FACING critical surgery after a terrible tumble left her barely able to breathe, country music legend Loretta Lynn has just months to live, friends fear. “Loretta is desperately trying to put a brave face on everything, but sadly it seems that the end is near,” says a source. In a message to the audience after she was forced to miss her Labor Day concert, the 84-year-old Coal Miner’s Daughter tried to laugh off the grim chest and head injuries she suffered from a fall at her home in Hurricane Mills, Tenn., by quipping: “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.” But she also confessed: “I injured my chest and I can’t get a deep enough breath to sing.” Her reps concede she has to go under the knife, but…

GIGANTIC TV babe Gabourey Sidibe has suddenly dropped nearly 100 pounds in just five months — and a top weight loss expert believes she could have only done it with secret stomach surgery! The 5-foot-5 actress — who plays Becky on FOX’s hit drama, Empire — posted photos of her former 350-pound self next to a slimmer picture on social media — and drew cheers from fans who love her new look. Although Gabby — who was nominated for a 2009 Oscar for her role in Precious — boasts about her new healthy lifestyle, top internist Dr. Stuart Fischer tells GLOBE he believes the 33-year-old has gone under the knife to lose the weight. “I think she’s shed up to 90 pounds and that is a very significant weight loss,”…

BRITAIN’S next king William and his queen Kate are expecting twin daughters! The stunning 34-yearold brunette, already the mom of two, tried to keep the fabulous news under wraps — only telling husband William, his brother Harry, her family and grandma Queen Elizabeth. But the terrific news leaked — palace insiders are blaming Kate’s sister Pippa Middleton — and is sweeping royal circles, thrilling everyone except Prince Charles’ evil wife Camilla. The 69-year-old, horse-faced banshee, who’s had designs on the royal throne since seducing Charles and wrecking his marriage to the late Princess Diana, is choking with fury. Dripping with venom, she’s already launched another bitter, backstabbing campaign against her gorgeous rival Kate, who with William will become England’s monarch’s when ailing Elizabeth, 90, passes away. “Camilla has never stopped…

EUREKA! Californians are bracing for a new gold rush after a T-bone steak-sized nugget worth a whopping $70,000 was discovered near Jamestown. Prospector Oscar Espinoza discovered the whopper — which weighs 1½ pounds — in the Woods Creek area about 130 miles east of San Francisco and not far from Yosemite National Forest. Oscar’s first notion was to melt it down, but local business owner Bryant Shock said, “Whoa!” and pointed out the nugget would be worth more in its raw form. “It’s more valuable this way because it’s a piece of history and his meltdown is just another piece of gold,” explains Bryant. Oscar says he found the nugget snuggled under a boulder in Woods Creek, but — obviously — didn’t give away the exact location. “Moving big boulders…

WORLWORLD EXCLUSIVE ELVIS’ ex-wife, Priscilla Presley, is tangled in a bizarre tug-of-love with Larry King’s cheating wife, Shawn, and a slick-talking speech coach. While Priscilla, 71, was going out with Richard Greene, the love cad was secretly sharing X-rated text and video messages with sexstarved Shawn King, 56. Pressed about his meetings with Priscilla, Shawn’s lover, who also claims to have been a confidant of Princess Diana, frantically denied any romance, insisting he was only trying to help her get Congress to pass a law preventing the torture of show horses. “Priscilla Presley and I are friends,” he claims in an email. Priscilla’s rep, Samantha Mast, also denies a fling, stating: “Ms. Presley has never been on a date with Mr. Greene, there is no relationship.” But in a…