“You smell like a tart’s handbag. Are you having a midlife crisis?”
FourFourTwo was hoping for better after splashing on Cristiano Ronaldo’s new range of aftershave, Legacy, one recent autumn morning instead of the usual Right Guard blast. Perhaps unexpectedly whiffing the Ballon d’Or-winning goal god at 8.30am was a shock to our girlfriend’s olfactory system.
Unbeknown to her, however, we have decided to conduct some vital fieldwork for CR7 and his fellow tall, dark and handsome forward Zlatan Ibrahimovic, both of whom have released new fragrances.
According to the blurb, the Real Madrid preener’s eau de toilette is “comprised of (sic) luxurious orris, aromatic sage and rosemary”, while the PSG man’s Zlatan Pour Homme scent – already a hit in France and Sweden – contains “notes of electric pepper,…