Indice dei contenuti per February 2024 in Viz

Retired postman DOUG  CRESS-WELL is the administrator of Foil-Hatz, an online forum where over 50 amateur sleuths discuss hot topics – everything from the moon landings to the deaths of celebrities – and challenge accepted explanations. And he admits that he is as surprised as the next person to discover that the former administrator of Foil-Hatz, Stan Bunnet, in fact died of natural causes. “Stan was a great investigator into the truth, and as such he will have made a lot of enemies,” said Cresswell. “But after twelve months of researching the circumstances surrounding his death, I came to the conclusion that Stan died of a massive heart attack, just like the coroner said he did.” “I’m gobsmacked,” he added. medical Bunnet, who launched the website Foil-Hatz in 2010, suffered a…

Brian Cox, Physicist I HAVE always believed that perpetual motion was impossible to achieve. We can come somewhere close to it in quantum systems by setting electrons in motion on a circular path around super conductors cooled to absolute zero. But in mechanical systems, energy will always be lost at some point in the process, either as heat, light, movement, or sound. That is what we as scientists have always believed. But science does not give us the truth – it simply gives us the best explanation we have at the time to account for the things we observe and experience. If, as it seems, Professor Ponds has achieved something that we previously said was impossible, then we scientists will have to reassess our thinking. And more fool us for…

C is for CITY MOST UK counties have several cities, with some places like Yorkshire, Essex, and the West Midlands packed to the rafters with these large conurbations. But believe it or not, Cornwall has just one – the City of TRURO – which in reality is little more than a large town. And whereas most cities boast polluted ringroads, traffic congestion and drug-related crime, Truro has to make do with tranquil, clean streets, Georgian architecture, and the gentle bustle of visitors making their way to its Gothic Revival-style cathedral. O is for ORANGES CORNWALL is famous for cream teas, ice cream, and mouth-watering pasties. But it is less well known for oranges. Nevertheless, these sweet citrus fruits are available in shops, supermarkets and market stalls all over the county, from…

THE recent increase in the price of First Class stamps has spelt checkmate for two pensioners, who had been playing a series of postal chess games for nearly half a century. London bus driver Reg Wholegrain and Newcastle binman Willie Redpath had been playing postal chess for a record 48 years, and their ‘Best of Three’ tournament had been reaching an exciting climax. But thanks to the recent increase in the cost of a stamp from £1.10 to £1.25, their third and deciding match had to be abandoned. The competitors met when they and their wives spent a week at Pontin’s in Prestatyn back in 1976. The two couples got on well, with Reg and Willie playing chess every evening whilst their wives went to the bingo. At the end of…

No. 332 Set by Anus Across 6 Peggy Lee tune for Ralph (4,1,7) 8 Bum cruet, ovaries or bollocks (9) 9 Old hedgehog served in dangleberries on ice (5) 11 Black taxi grabbed by female rogered by stallion (7) 14 Ogle rectum, half buggered for artist (2,5) 15 Eunuch and son operated upon (6) 16 Half a cock up in some bum (4-2) 19 Worth shit, happy to 6 across (5,2) 20 Take a chap through the back entrance in small house (7) 21 In crapper I shit – powerful rich shit? (5) 22 Number of balls Verdi toyed with in state of excessive activity (9) 25 Feel constipated in this tailored suit (4,8) Down 1 Paper, first of Andrex up bum (4) 2 Something like gentleman’s relish old PM…

THANKS to the latest advances in special effects technology, the waiting is almost over for fans of veteran sex-romp star ROBIN ASKWITH. That’s because this year – over 45 years since the release of Confessions From a Holiday Camp, the last of the bawdy ‘70s film franchise – a 5th and final outing for randy Jack-of-all-trades Timothy Lea is finally set for release. Back in 1978, plans for Confessions of an Astronaut were shelved after producers felt the project might suffer from the global success of Star Wars, as well as the lack of special effects technology to do justice to a weightless sex scene featuring a bare arse pressed against a spaceship entry hatch. But the new film will use the latest CGI technology in order to make Askwith…

HI Y’ALL! It’s me, TERENCE TRENT D’ARBY here. You might know me as Sananda Francesco Maitreya, or perhaps Terence Trent Howard or maybe even simply as ‘TTD’. But it’s more likely that you won’t, and that you’ll just remember me as Terence Trent D’Arby. Anyway, when I’m not changing my name or claiming to have written the most important album since Sergeant Pepper, there’s nothing I enjoy more than watching clowns – they’re hilarious! Whether they’re balancing atop unsupported ladders or stomping around in comically elongated footwear, their clumsy antics never fail to raise a smile. And given the number of clown-related letters I’ve received that you’ve Sign(ed) Your Name on, it seems that you lot can’t get enough of these playful Punchinellos, too! Anyway, I’d better go – I…

THE southwest counties of Devon and Cornwall are famed for their rivalry over which one has the correct cream tea. And now the two are at loggerheads once again as they fight it out over which of them is the correct setting for low quality romantic fiction. Devonshire County Council insists that a sleepy fishing community on their picturesque coastline is the ideal place for a fictional London-based female lawyer who has been dumped by her cheating boyfriend to settle before ultimately finding love with a widowed local artist. However, their Cornish counterparts maintain that a fictional London-based senior executive who was jilted at the altar by her boyfriend would be better settling in a sleepy community of artists on the wild Bodmin moors before ultimately finding love with a widowed…

BRITISH showbiz is renowned for its hard-living hellraisers. The wild antics of Peter O’Toole, Oliver Reed and Keith Moon became the stuff of legend as they drank bars dry, smashed up hotel rooms and left trails of destruction in their wake. These celebrity bad boys lived fast and died young, and they certainly knew how to party while they were here. But now there’s a new name to add to that rollcall of showbiz nutjobs – Professor John Curtice. For, in a new biography by best-selling Nottingham writer Lobthorpe Swayfield, the seemingly mild-mannered BBC election night analyst is revealed as a wild hedonist who lives to party 24 hours a day! “It’s true,” says Swayfield, who has also written tell-all biographies about other election presenters including Peter Snow, David Butler…