Table of contents for June 24, 2019 in Globe

BUSTING HIS HUMP RON PERLMAN — the demented hunchback in The Name of the Rose — stoops to hauling his own groceries HIGH ROLLER ED ASNER wheels and deals ahead of his star-studded charity poker tournament THE GRAPE ESCAPE JENNIFER GARNER has a fruitful morning as the Alias alum leaves church in Santa Monica LOOKING TIPSY KATIE HOLMES seems a bit off-balance as the former Dawson’s Creek cutie steps out in the Big Apple ODD BIRD Ex-Baywatch beauty DONNA D’ERRICO takes part in a mock funeral for dead farm critters to promote animal rights FLABTASTIC! Dracula Untold’s LUKE EVANS braves the sunlight in Ibiza, Spain — but his beach bod could use some work…

CADDYSHACK co-stars Bill Murray and Chevy Chase exploded in a rock ’em, sock ’em backstage brawl in front of horrified Saturday Night Live castmates following a live show. “It was a huge altercation,” recalls Animal House director John Landis, who witnessed the fight. “They were big guys and really going at it.” The punch-up was triggered by the SNL cast’s anger at Chevy for quitting the show in just its second season in 1976, writes Nick de Semlyen in his new book, Wild and Crazy Guys: How the Comedy Mavericks of the ’80s Changed Hollywood Forever. Snobby Chase was about to become a movie star with his hit 1978 rom-com Foul Play, costarring Goldie Hawn. He returned to SNL as a guest host. Chase claims John Belushi’s brother, Jim, stirred…

MOVIE tough guy Mark Wahlberg is gunning for Tom Cruise’s plum role as two-fisted private eye Jack Reacher — threatening an explosive showdown with the pint-sized superstar. While Cruise scored box office bucks with the 2012 flick Jack Reacher and the 2016 sequel, Jack Reacher: Never Look Back, Wahlberg is telling industry pals behind Tom’s back that the role of the ex-Army investigator needs a revamping. “Mark says he was born to play this role and has got his people looking into acquiring a piece of the franchise, too,” squeals an insider. “That’s not going to go down well with Tom.” Cruise put Reacher on the back burner to shoot his Top Gun reboot and Mission: Impossible films, but he hasn’t officially said goodbye to the role. He reportedly has taken “a dim…

Talk about dancing with the stars! Single, never-married CARRIE ANN INABA, 51, had jaws dropping backstage at The Talk with this outrageously naughty behind-closed-doors gabby confession: “I love massage porn!” Whaaat? “Carrie and her stunned Talk co-hosts had been discussing whether pornography enhances or damages personal relationships,” blabs a backstage spy. “They’d just rolled an eye-opening clip from JADA PINKETT SMITH’s online show, Red Table Talk. “Jada chatted with daughter WILLOW and her mom, ADRIENNE BANFIELD-JONES, about pornography and porn addiction, and admitted to her family: ‘I had a unhealthy relationship to porn at one point in my life. It really gives you false expectations as far as sexual interaction.’ “But no one expected what came out of Carrie’s mouth next — she confessed her own secret personal pleasure passion…

FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ WIN $100 Tell us why these pix DON’T exactly match and win … There are three differences between these photos. If you spot them correctly — and your entry is the first chosen at random — GLOBE will send you $100. Simply identify the three differences between the photographs in a letter or postcard and send it to us. Official FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ rules 1. The contest is open to all residents of the United States ages 18 and older. Employees of American Media, Inc., its corporate sponsors and advertisers are not eligible. 2. NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY. 3. To enter the FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ contestants must identify the differences between the photographs in a letter or postcard addressed to Globe #25 FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ, P.O. Box…

BIPOLAR pop princess Britney Spears is still getting help for her mental issues. After leaving a psycho ward weeks ago, the 37-year-old Toxic singer reveals she’s seeing a therapist. Britney posted an Instagram video that shows her making wacky faces with the caption, “after therapy and being too serious it’s so nice to be silly!!!!!” Her father’s failing health prompted her to seek help and she’s reportedly focused on keeping her stress levels “as low as possible.”…

Side effects include thick blood, insomnia & fatal heart attacks ENERGY drinks hazardous to your health! They might give you a boost, but experts warn their cocktail of ingredients can carry serious health risks. Those ingredients typically include hefty doses of caffeine, sugars, vitamins, legal stimulants — such as guarana, a plant that grows in the Amazon — and taurine, an amino acid that’s naturally found in meat and fish. But researchers aren’t sure how caffeine interacts with other ingredients — and a new study has found energy drinks altered the heart’s electrical activity and raised blood pressure. The drinks have also been shown to make the blood a little bit thicker, and chugging too many can lead to caffeine intoxication, which can cause insomnia, anxiety, muscle twitching and restlessness,…

GOOFY Nicolas Cage is officially divorced after a drunken Sin City wedding to makeup expert Erika Koike! The 55-year-old hunk told a Nevada judge he was so blotto on booze, he didn’t know he was tying the knot with Koike, 34, in Las Vegas on March 23. The Leaving Las Vegas Oscar winner filed for annulment four days later — and his shortterm bride demanded spousal support. Terms of their settlement were not made public. Cage’s previous wives include actress Patricia Arquette, Lisa Marie Presley and waitress Alice Kim.…

Doctors warn the city should be quarantined THE entire L.A. population is under threat of the deadly bubonic plague that killed 50 MILLION people in the Middle Ages — more than half of Europe’s population at the time — and experts are urging a massive city-wide quarantine so the terrifying Black Death doesn’t spread across the country. “The government or the CDC [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] should take control and determine if the city should be quarantined!” warns Dr. Ashok Chopra, a University of Texas microbiologist. The Black Death, named for the dark bruising of the body caused by the disease, wiped out 60 percent of Europe in the 1300s — and L.A.’s population of nearly 20 million could be next. “I’m hearing from experts that bubonic plague…

‘The many people who believe the car wreck was ‘staged’ with rigged brakes point the finger at Charles as behind it – including Diana’s sons, William and Harry’ PRINCE CHARLES had a powerful motive to murder his ex-wife Diana — she was secretly plotting to torpedo his chances to become king of England and planned to rule in his place! Royal biographer Lady Colin Campbell drops this bombshell — that the princess was trying to “deprive Charles of his rights to the throne” — in the shocking documentary Scandals at the Palace. Now sources say her explosive revelation bolsters a secret police dossier charging Charles masterminded the death of his ex-wife in a “staged” 1997 Paris tunnel car crash that also killed the driver and her Muslim lover, Dodi Fayed.…

Anxiety linked to allergies ✚ ALLERGIES may be tied to depression and anxiety, a new study has found. German and Swiss researchers have discovered people who reported living with generalized anxiety tended to have seasonal pollen-related allergies. The study of 1,700 people also found individuals with yearlong allergies — like sensitivity to animal hair — were more likely to suffer from depression. The researchers say doctors need to check patients with seasonal allergies to be sure they are not suffering from emotional issues. SPONSORED Health never tasted so good! ✚ Apple Cider Gummies™ offer a new, convenient and innovative way of taking apple cider vinegar. These vegan gummies have no sugar and offer a delicious apple flavor, free of any sour vinegar taste. Available at newnordicusa.com…

HEARTBROKEN Gale Smiley helplessly watched the love of her life get ripped to shreds by a savage shark just 60 yards from the shore in Hawaii! Gale and her husband of 42 years — recently retired optometrist Dr. Thomas Smiley — were wrapping up a blissful two weeks at their vacation home in Maui last month when his life was savagely snuffed out by the massive man-eater. “He went out for one last swim before breakfast,” she recalls, saying she suddenly heard her childhood sweetheart cry out — and then saw him fighting for his life! “I was on the third-floor lanai,” explains the Granite Bay, Calif., resident. “He wasn’t that far out. It happened right in front of me.” Thomas, 65, was quickly ferried to land at Ka’anapali Beach…

SUPERSTAR Harrison Ford showed he’s just as big a daredevil as his screen alter ego Indiana Jones by taking a skydive at age 76. “It was great fun,” says the veteran pilot. The jump came during a vacation at the suggestion of Ford’s 18-year-old son Liam, whose mom is actress Calista Flockhart. The Air Force One star was strapped to the chest of an expert diver when they plunged out of the small plane. “Next time, I want to take the training and then be able to do it myself,” Ford says.…

BIGWIGS behind The Real Housewives of New York City need to make a decision: either get rid of embarrassing boozer Luann de Lesseps — or change the name of the show to The Real Housewives of Rehab. As GLOBE reported last week, the classless countess, a former model who nabbed her title from her first marriage to French count and financier Alexandre de Lesseps, is a drunk. In a Palm Beach, Fla., hotel in December 2017, she threw a booze-fueled fit. The floozy and some dude she picked up were apparently caught in bed in someone else’s room. Blasted on booze, she refused to leave, and when cops came, she threatened an officer. Loco Luann’s been in rehab twice and banned from booze, but was jailed recently when she confessed…

REALITY TV’s Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond and Fixer Upper sensation Joanna Gaines are caught in a vicious catfight, say insiders who insist the feud was triggered by jealousy and blind ambition! Oklahoma gal Ree, who has clung to her homespun roots, believes Texas Tornado Joanna’s become a “cocky” snob who’s forgotten regular folks, tattles an insider. “She’s seeing Jo hobnobbing with celebrities,” says the insider. “Ree’s telling everybody Jo and her husband Chip sold out.” Mom-of-four Ree, 50, catapulted from a folksy cooking and homemaking blog to a successful show on the Food Network. She now also writes books, runs a boutique out of her hometown in Oklahoma and has a home decor line available at a national retailer. But Joanna, 41, who has five kids, has leapt into the…

TOM CRUISE is head over heels for a sexy 31-year-old blonde he met when she was hired to be the movie action man’s skydiving trainer! Now, GLOBE can reveal the secrets of their ten-month relationship while shooting his 2018 blockbuster, Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Sources dish the 56-year-old superstar is still crushing on drop-dead gorgeous Brit babe Sian Stokes, who took him under her wing and taught him the tricks of her trade. “To say he’s head over heels would be an understatement,” tattles a snitch. “He’s still drooling over her.” And the coy beauty, a British National Champion in the daredevil sport, won’t deny she was “impressed” by the handsome hunk. “There was a moment when I was sitting next to Tom Cruise on a plane thousands of feet…

ELIZABETH HURLEY White-hot! The Royals star suited up with this flashy and shimmering white Versace number BILLIE JEAN KING Double fault! The tennis legend served up a pair of dull black pants with an ugly Dodgers satin snap jacket JORDIN SPARKS The American Idol winner adds a radiant jolt of neon color to a simple jumpsuit, and sparkles doing so BUSY PHILIPPS The I Feel Pretty actress looks oh, so pretty in this vibrant print dress MERYL STREEP The Oscar winner’s dark and somber Oscar de la Renta floral wrap dress is a summertime loser…

HE mystery behind Natalie Wood’s death has been blown wide open! After 37 years, GLOBE reveals explosive new findings about the night the Splendor in the Grass beauty died, including: • The tragic star’s damning last words — in a tell-all diary that describes her hellish life during her two marriages to Hart to Hart star Robert Wagner. • A witness’ stunning story about what happened in the first minutes after the West Side Story star mysteriously went missing from her yacht Splendour off California’s Catalina Island. In an explosive interview, witness Marilyn Wayne reveals she was on a nearby boat with her son and businessman John Payne on Nov. 28, 1981, when she heard screams just minutes after 11 p.m. — around the time Natalie disappeared from Splendour. “The…

JENNIFER ANISTON is fuming because bestie Courteney Cox continues to be chummy with her former husband Justin Theroux, insiders dish. Courteney regularly comments on Justin’s Instagram posts and recently called him “bro,” and a source says, “Jen just thinks that’s all kinds of inappropriate!” Jen’s especially miffed because she cut social ties with Courteney’s ex David Arquette as soon as the couple split, explains the snitch. “Courteney just rolls her eyes,” says the source. “It’s caused a real stink.”…

TEEN Paige Winter was saved from being eaten alive by a shark thanks to her courageous dad, Charlie, who kept slugging the razortoothed monster until it let his daughter go. Tragically, the 17-year-old beauty lost most of her left leg and fingers in the attack off North Carolina’s Fort Macon beach. But she’s still alive thanks to her loving dad, an ex-Marine who’s now a paramedicfirefighter. “Thank God our son was with her,” says the girl’s granny Janet Winter. “He said he punched the shark in the face five times before it let go.” The New Bern High junior was swimming when the flesh-eater attacked, mauling her before Charlie punched it away. Paige was airlifted to Greenville’s Vidant Medical Center, where doctors were forced to amputate the leg above the knee.…