Table of contents for February 5, 2018 in Globe

You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. — Ayn Rand LEGENDARY Hollywood beauty Jane Fonda is terrified recent surgery to cut a chunk of skin cancer from her lip has left her horribly scarred and will destroy her showbiz career, pals tell GLOBE! A source says the 80-year-old Oscar winner and one-time fitness queen seemed embarrassed and “self–conscious” explaining “massive welts and bandages on her lower lip” while promoting the new season of her Netflix sitcom, Grace and Frankie, in the Big Apple late last month. “I just want to explain the bandage,” she told onlookers. “I just had a cancer taken from my lip. I thought it was going to heal in time before I came. But it’s fine. I don’t normally go around…

HITCHHIKING IS BAD FOR PARIS MICHAEL JACKSON’s trusting 19-year-old daughter, PARIS, had a close call after picking up two drugged-out hitchhikers. The bighearted teen took pity on two gals and gave ’em a lift, saying, “One was pretty f***ed up. I remember taking out a pair of my own socks and putting them on her.” After treating them to din-din at a fast-food joint and dropping them off, she discovered she’d been robbed! “This bitch f***ing stole my debit card,” she reveals. Paris is lucky that’s all they took. BEATER CHRIS FACES MONKEY BUSINESS RAP! RIHANNA beater CHRIS BROWN’s still putting gals in danger. The rapping time bomb triggered outrage when he posted a pic of his threeyear- old daughter, ROYALTY, holding Fiji, a baby capuchin monkey. Furious fans claimed…

MARIE OSMOND’S face is so transformed by drastic plastic surgery, she’s barely recognizable, an expert tells GLOBE — and now a pal insists the singer has a “nightmare” obsession with staying young! “Marie has become totally fixated with making herself over completely!” says the friend. “It’s a nightmare!” Startling new photos of the 58-year-old Las Vegas legend reveal her chilling changes. Michigan-based plastic surgeon Dr. Anthony Youn calls her new look a “startling transformation.” Youn believes Marie has had a dramatic face-lift along with fillers and Botox. “Her eyebrows are arched artificially, which means she may have had Botox injected into her forehead to smooth out the wrinkles,” says the doc, who has not treated the Nutrisystem diet spokesgal. “And her lips are plumper, indicating she’s had some filler injected.”…

SINGER Kelly Clarkson says she’s “not above” spanking her kids! The 35-year-old American Idol champ, mom to son Remington, one, and daughter River, three, adds, “I don’t mean like hitting her hard, I just mean a spanking.” The Texas-born pop star credits her upbringing for shaping her parenting style and says, “I’m from the South, y’all, so we get spankings. My mom would call the principal if I ever ended up in the principal’s office and give permission for her to spank me. I’m a well-rounded individual with a lot of character.” The Stronger songbird, who calls being a mother “challenging,” defends her tough love stance by saying, “My parents spanked me and I did fine in life — and I feel fine about it.”…

8/10 GRETA GERWIG The multitalented actress, writer and director cannot contain her brilliance and shimmers in this Gucci dress 5/10 SARAH JESSICA PARKER Leapin’ lizards! The Sex and the City star sexed up Little Orphan Annie’s look. Bit inappropriate if you ask me 4/10 JUDITH LIGHT Hard as she may try, no one is taking orders from the Who’s the Boss actress in this jailhouse pantsuit 7/10 KATE BOSWORTH Going to the award show — and gonna get married?! The starlet walked down the red carpet in a wedding dress…

SUPER BOWL LII Sun., Feb. 4, NBC, 6:30 p.m. Justin Timberlake headlines the halftime show as the NFL’s two best teams brawl for it all in Minneapolis. BETHENNY AND FREDRIK Tues., Feb. 6, Bravo, 10 p.m. In this new docuseries, Bethenny Frankel and Fredrik Eklund take their friendship to another level — teaming up as business partners and real estate wheeler-dealers! CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER Wed., Feb. 7, CBS, 8 p.m. For the first time, stars populate the house as the series features multiple episodes every week. Celebs square off in the Head of Household and Power of Veto competitions — and live evictions add to the fun, hosted by Julie Chen. 2018 WINTER OLYMPICS Fri., Feb. 9, NBC, 7:30 p.m. The XXIII Olympic Winter Games in PyeongChang, South Korea, is…

SCIENTISTS have made an explosive discovery — a gel containing nitroglycerin combats erectile dysfunction and blows away the competition! Doctors at University College London Hospitals found a pea-sized blob of the gel — which contains the same combustible ingredient found in dynamite — displayed blockbuster results within ten minutes for 70 percent of patients. The topical medication — which has an estimated cost of $1.25 daily for a year’s supply — works up to 12 times faster than Viagra and other expensive ED pills. By releasing a nitric oxide gas, the impotence-fighting gel widens blood vessels and increases blood flow to the penis. “Advantages include the potential for fast action and ease of use. The gel’s use could be incorporated into sexual foreplay, increasing the level of intimacy between couples,”…

SHARON STONE says she came back from the edge of death after a 2001 brain hemorrhage “wiped out” her life and left her fighting to walk and talk — and reclaim a career! “I feel that I did die. This kind of giant vortex of light was upon me and — poof! I sort of took off into this glorious, white light,” says Sharon, who stars in HBO’s murder mystery series Mosaic. “I had a real journey with this that took me to places both here and beyond. But it was very fast — whoosh! Suddenly, I was back in my body.” The 59-year-old believes acting jobs dried up after her recovery, saying, “Others aren’t interested in a broken person. I was alone.”…

IN 1957, RICKY NELSON was already a teen heartthrob after eight years on the radio and TV versions of his family’s sitcom The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. But the 16-year-old checked into Heartbreak Hotel when his girlfriend Diana Osborn confessed she was in love with Elvis Presley! Ricky responded by recording a version of Fats Domino’s I’m Walkin’ on March 26. This photo was snapped four days later as Ricky practiced his body English for the tune’s April 10 TV debut. The song hit No. 4 on the charts — but the flip side, A Teenager’s Romance, soared to No. 2! Ricky continued to pump out gold records until his death in a 1985 New Year’s Eve plane crash.…

WORLD EXCLUSIVE TERRIFIED Bill Clinton is battling to keep his booze-troubled brother Roger out of jail, fearing the black sheep will rat him out to federal prosecutors probing the crooked dealings linked to the family’s foundation. Sources tell GLOBE investigators are pressing Roger — a 61-year-old beach bum — to turn stool pigeon and spill whatever he knows about any illegal actions by Bill, his wife Hillary and their daughter Chelsea. As GLOBE revealed last week, the feds are currently focused on the Clinton Foundation, which the family is accused of using as a personal piggy bank after collecting nearly $365 million in a pay-for-play deal scandal, sources claim. Now, Roger is being squeezed for information — and a three-year probation deal he took following a 2016 drunk driving bust…

COSMETIC surgery junkie Kris Jenner went under the knife again — this time to get her earlobes reduced — and her kids won’t let her hear the end of it! When the 62-year-old confessed to feeling self-conscious about her lobe look, Khloé Kardashian responded, “You’re just being dramatic.” But Kris underwent a procedure anyway — getting chunks of flesh snipped off her ears, while astonished Kim Kardashian exclaimed, “Can you believe you’re cutting your f***ing ears off?!” While Kris was “excited” about the surgeon’s work, the results failed to impress her famous offspring. Kendall Jenner didn’t even notice the change — and had to be prodded by Khloé to compliment their mother on her new look!…

AMERICAN IDOL SPOILS THE FUN! Revival won’t show daffy audition tapes AMERICAN IDOL’s reboot is doomed, say critics, who charge the singing competition is ditching the best part of the show — the bad auditions! Killjoy executive producer Trish Kinane insists when the original aired 15 years ago, “nobody had ever seen” the ridiculous flops “and it was funny. Viewers know now.” But that’s precisely why industry insiders think the controversial move will sink the series, which returns to TV in March. “Part of the fun of Idol was that it was like amateur night,” says a media mole. “You got a laugh from the outrageous hacks — and after wading through the ho-hum singers, you appreciated the raw, natural gems even more.” “William Hung, Sanjaya and all the other…

TURKEY TERROR ATTACK! Badass birds run off mail carriers TERRIFIED mail carriers in Rocky River, Ohio, are crying fowl — because local wild turkeys have gone postal and are preventing deliveries! The fiendish flock haunts about two dozen homes in the Cleveland suburb — and has blocked letter carriers from completing their rounds for at least three weeks, says Mayor Pam Bobst. Residents have been forced to pick up mail at the post office so employees won’t get pecked by the pests! Still, some of the intrepid couriers are trying to best the badass birds with air horns and by making deliveries in the evening when the flock is less aggressive. However, they haven’t been that successful. Local ordinances prohibit “eradication” of the feathered bullies — and the municipal animal…

POP hunk RICKY MARTIN tied the knot with gay lover and artist JWAN YOSEF. Ricky, the dad of nine-yearold twin boys via a surrogate, says they inked a prenup. Olympic swim champ RYAN LOCHTE has taken the marriage plunge with KAYLA RAE REID, mom of his seven-month-old boy, CAIDEN. Good timing, kids. Movie heartthrob KEANU REEVES was spotted on a series of outings with poet-photog ALEXANDRA GRANT. The pair recently shared a cozy dinner at Tinseltown’s Madeo eatery. Darkest Hour director JOE WRIGHT and musician wife ANOUSHKA SHANKAR have split after seven years and two sons. He’s been spied out and about with actress HALEY BENNETT. Court queen VENUS WILLIAMS, 37, is set to make a smashing debut with new beau NICHOLAS HAMMOND at the Australian Open. He’s only 25,…

JAMIE DORNAN shot to fame as brooding billionaire Christian Grey in the Fifty Shades films, but he owes some of his success to ex-girlfriend Keira Knightley, who introduced the then-model to her agent and kick-started his acting career. Now his résumé includes performances in TV’s fanciful Once Upon a Time and the crime drama The Fall. In February, he’s reprising his most famous role in Fifty Shades Freed, the latest movie in the racy franchise based on E.L. James’ blockbuster books. Here are ten things you don’t know about the 35-year-old actor. 1 The Hollywood star was born in Holywood, Northern Ireland, in 1982. 2 He’s a first cousin, twice removed, of Mrs. Miniver actress Greer Garson. 3 Before becoming an actor, he was an underwear model for Calvin Klein.…

HORNDOG homewrecker Gov. Eric Greitens threatened to distribute explicit photos of his married mistress if she ever revealed her tawdry affair with the pervy politician, according to the woman’s ex — and now prosecutors are probing the explosive blackmail allegations against Missouri’s governor. The bombshell claims dropped as Greitens delivered his 2018 State of the State address, forcing the former Navy SEAL — who campaigned as an upstanding family man — to admit he stepped out on his wife! The ex-husband of Greitens’ former gal pal released an audio recording, purportedly made by his weeping ex-wife, which exposes the love gov’s twisted bondage games. During a 2015 encounter with the future governor — who took office last year — the woman claims the kinkster taped her hands to exercise rings…

WORLD EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW & PHOTOS JERRY LEWIS’ daughter is living a hardscrabble existence on Philadelphia’s frigid streets — struggling to eat and find shelter — after being ruthlessly written out of the heartless comic’s $75 million will. Now gutsy Suzan Lewis Minoret, 66, is breaking her silence in an exclusive GLOBE interview to reveal her harsh life and plans to grab a chunk of the Nutty Professor star’s fortune. Legal experts suggest she has an excellent claim. In a bombshell first, GLOBE can disclose Jerry’s oldest son, pop star Gary Lewis, 71, submitted to a DNA test that concludes there’s an 88.7 percent likelihood he and Suzan are half-siblings. “That’s good enough for me,” Jerry’s longtime pal and business associate Rick Saphire tells GLOBE. And Suzan herself declares: “I am…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 Stop and take a deep breath, Ram. What you’re taking as an insult wasn’t intended to be hurtful. Could it be that you just don’t like this person very much? Venus meeting Uranus Tuesday brings a chance to jump-start your finances — you could see cash rolling in by the weekend! The number eight is lucky! TAURUS April 21 - May 21 The personal problem you’ve been puzzled over becomes clear Monday — but should the person involved remain part of your inner circle? Wait for Venus to move into Pisces on Saturday to decide! Midweek brings a check in the mail — it may be from a class action settlement. New love has hazel eyes. GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Expect a…

Headphones make you deaf + LISTENING to music on headphones causes permanent hearing loss, warns an audiologist who says people are ignoring expert advice and continuing to pump up the volume! William Shapiro, of New York University Langone, says one in five teens have impaired hearing because of irreversible damage to sensory hairs in the inner ear caused by noise exposure. “A good rule is 60 percent of the volume, no more than 60 minutes a day,” advises Shapiro. Hormones end menopause blues + HORMONE replacement therapy can prevent depression in menopausal women, according to a new study. In a scientific trial, only 17 percent of patients using hormone treatment got the blues. But the rate rocketed to 32 percent in women who didn’t get hormones. “The fact that we…