Globe May 2, 2016

RACK ’EM UP!   Yes, MARIE OSMOND, your bosom is still there, the girls haven’t gone bust — yet! CHEW ON THIS Is KELLY RIPA offering somebody her gum? No thanks! STUBBLE TROUBLE BEN AFFLECK is taking all the “Batman v Superman” criticism so poorly, his next movie might be “Batman v His Barber”! GUT CHECK Whoa, KELSEY GRAMMER! That’s some serious “dad bod” — and Mom says to cover it up FUR-GET IT, GUY! What happened? Brat Packer JUDD NELSON looks like he got hit by “The Breakfast Club.” Repeatedly! CHOMP! Once rail-thin, MISCHA BARTON’s making sure to load up on chow while “Dancing With the Stars”…

MEDIA queen Oprah Winfrey has cast aside her longtime girlfriend Gayle King in favor of a hotter, younger new pal: Hollywood director Ava DuVernay! “Everyone in Oprah’s inner circle is buzzing Ava has replaced Gayle as Oprah’s No. 1 woman,” a source says. Oprah, 62, and Ava, 43, got cozy on the set of the 2014 Oscar-nominated movie “Selma,” which starred the TVtalker-turned actress. Ava was the movie’s director and now the two are putting their heads together for the OWN network series “Queen Sugar.” “Oprah and Ava are inseparable these days. It appears Gayle has been cast aside like yesterday’s news,” the spy dished. “As Oprah has become closer to Ava, Gayle has been complaining that she feels betrayed and frozen out.” Gayle recently reignited her romance with New…

YIKES! Blond bombshell Morgan Fairchild has gone to pot! The former “Falcon Crest” star was nearly unrecognizable when she was caught on camera — FOOD shopping — in Los Angeles after gaining an estimated 87 pounds. Gone is the petite TV siren whose leggy, sizzling swimsuit poster had guys drooling in the early 1980s! Instead, the 66-year-old actress looked frumpy and overweight as she pushed her cart full of groceries. “I only recognized Morgan because someone pointed her out to me,” says an eyewitness. “She looks like she’s ballooned by nearly 90 pounds. “She used to be so sexy, but now her face is bloated and she’s packed so much weight on her body and legs. “It’s a shame. She used to be a Hollywood ‘It Girl.’ But now she…

One thing he’s looking forward to in death is seeing Dean and Joseph FIGHTING for every breath, battling heart disease and struggling to walk, feeble Jerry Lewis is preparing to die, say friends who fear the 90-yearold comic legend has only two months to live. Heartbroken pals worry that Jerry’s April 8 visit to New York’s famed Friars Club — to attend a dinner in his honor — may be the last public event in his long and storied career. Looking pale and weak, the fragile funnyman could barely keep his head up at the bash, where his celebrity buddies were shocked by his appearance. “He spent most of the evening sitting down, with a blanket on his lap,” says one guest. Adds another, “He looked like death warmed over.…

THE QUEEN’s frail and cranky hubby Prince Philip defiantly refuses to give up his driver’s license — even though he’s a menace on the road! Just weeks before his 95th birthday, the bullheaded royal insisted on getting behind the wheel of his green Land Rover — and going out on busy public roads, despite pleas from his worried family. “It’s Her Majesty’s worst nightmare. She is beside herself,” says a Palace insider. “Elizabeth is terrified Philip is going to get killed! “He could get into an accident and get hurt — or, even worse, badly injure someone else! “And he’s also opening himself up as a target to terrorists or even a lone-wolf assassin. “A British royal must rank high on the list of icons the crazies of the world…

Too many nip/tucks destroyed aging diva — TOP DOC CROSSED THE BORDERLINE MADONNA doesn’t look “Like a Virgin” anymore — too many nip/tucks have turned the “Material Girl” into a monster, says a top doctor. After studying photos of the pop diva, Dr. Lyle Back tells GLOBE, “Hard living and her plastic surgeon have not been friends to Madonna.” The Cherry Hill, N.J., cosmetic surgeon says the 57-yearold star has had a slew of facial fixes — including work to her jaw, which looks “funky.” “If you compare current photos to those taken years ago, you can see her chin looks bigger and her jaw looks wider and more square,” says Back, who has not treated the celeb. He says her bizarre chin resembles comic Jay Leno’s infamously huge lantern…