Globe May 28, 2018

BUTT SERIOUSLY… Reality star KHLOÉ KARDASHIAN needs to rethink her wardrobe — and her exercise routine MANE EVENT GWEN STEFANI’s voice is sweeter than her look — the songbird can’t contain her unruly mop top! GUTSY GUY Porky JAMES WOODS waddles out of a Beverly Hills restaurant looking larger than life MINI-PINS Having shed the 50 pounds she’d gained to star in Tully, CHARLIZE THERON is teetering on stick-thin legs HEAD CASE Godfather legend AL PACINO could play a pirate with his wacky getup — but this fashion crime will see him walk the plank! HAIRY SITUATION It’s no dream — Dallas actor PATRICK DUFFY, 69, now sports an unflattering man bun…

WORLD EXCLUSIVE WICKED liar O.J. Simpson claims to be broke and disabled — but the two-faced weasel lives like a king, playing golf, chasing babes and tooling around in a luxury convertible worth a staggering $220,000! And while the 70-year-old scammer has no problem swinging his clubs, he uses a handicapped placard to park his Bentley in more convenient “disabled” spots at his Vegas golf club. “He’s a disgrace,” says a source. “This guy was once the biggest football star in the world and a role model for America’s youth. But he’s turned into a shameful sleaze, a cheater and a con man.” Simpson thumbs nose at Ron Goldman’s kin & won’t pay $70 million wrongful death judgment Released on parole in October after serving nine years in a Nevada…

ONLY IN GLOBE! CRIPPLED by pain and desperate to keep her vision, sitcom queen Roseanne Barr’s triumphant return to TV is being threatened by frighting health problems! Despite the huge success of her rebooted hit, Roseanne, the funny lady has been complaining her grueling rehearsal and filming schedule is causing a rapid decline in her physical condition. “Roseanne is alarmed by how badly her eyesight has deteriorated in recent years and is terrified she may soon lose her sight,” says a source. Her eye problems were originally diagnosed as incurable macular degeneration, but Roseanne now reveals doctors were wrong. She actually has “a mole on the inside of my eye that’s growing and that’s why my vision is narrowing.” She insists, “I’m not losing my eyesight” but concedes she may need…

LEGENDARY sex symbol Jane Fonda has had three hubbies and a bunch of romances, but she says she’s done with men – and retiring her love machine at age 80! The hottie, who began her career as space sexpot Barbarella, was a Playboy pinup and later donned a skin­clinging leotard as America’s fitness queen, is telling pals: “I’m not dating anymore. I’ve closed up shop down there.” The thrice­divorced star’s first hubby was French director and womanizer Roger Vadim, who cast her in Barbarella and had previously wed Brigitte Bardot. Jane also married political activist Tom Hayden and billionaire media kingpin Ted Turner. She recently broke up with music mogul Richard Perry, her beau of eight years who suffers from Parkinson’s. Once dubbed Hanoi Jane for her support of America’s…

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW PRINCE Harry’s long-lost aunt predicts his new marriage to American actress Meghan Markle is doomed because vicious behind-the-scenes palace backstabbers will rip her to pieces within five years! In an explosive GLOBE exclusive, the red-haired royal’s aunt Ann Ukrainetz warns Meghan not to be fooled by her in-laws’ smiles because they hate everything she stands for — just like they detested Harry’s mother, Diana, who brought unwelcome change to the royal family after marrying Prince Charles in 1981. “I put Meghan in the same realm as Diana because their situations are the same,” says Ann, 74, who now lives in Escondido, Calif. “Everything’s exciting for a little while — and then the backstabbing begins. “Meghan is going to have to put up with a lot of that, especially because…

ONLY IN GLOBE COMEDY legend Jerry Lewis’ personal mementos are set to hit the auction block, and his estranged sons — who were cut out of his will — are heartsick! “Whether you love or hate your father, it’s human nature to want a keepsake after he’s gone,” the late comic’s longtime pal and former manager, Rick Saphire, tells GLOBE. “Those kids deserve something!” According to his will, the rubber-faced funnyman — who died at age 91 last August — left all his “tangible personal property and household effects” to second wife Sandra “SanDee” Pitnick, and their adopted daughter, Danielle. They’re set to sell iconic items — including pricey jewelry and props from The Nutty Professor film — at Julien’s Auctions in Las Vegas on June 22. The sale is expected…