Table of contents for April 2, 2018 in Globe

THE BEST CELEB PHOTOS EVERY WEEK! MAKING HIS MARK MARK HAMILL engages in his own Star Wars as he takes a jackhammer to the Hollywood Walk of Fame for a late-night skit STAY PUFFED Bloated MARTHA STEWART poses as a massive marshmallow in a shapeless sweater GREASED FRIGHTENING Saturday Night Live alum WILL FERRELL downs fattening fries while holding court with the L.A. Lakers BUTT SERIOUSLY Reality TV train wreck BLAC CHYNA is an eyesore at the seashore! GONE TO POT Boogie Nights actor LUIS GUZMÁN is clearly losing the battle of the bulge FASHION FLOP Model KARLIE KLOSS is far from runway ready during her hair-raising time in New York City…

MEGHAN MARKLE is plotting a secret pilgrimage to the “death tunnel” in Paris where Princess Diana was horrifically injured on the last day of her life — to whisper a silent prayer and ask the beloved royal’s ghost for her blessing! Sources tell GLOBE that Meghan’s hush-hush outing will come during a romantic French getaway she and Prince Harry plan to take before their glitzy May 19 nuptials. The former Suits star, who adores Diana, hopes to carve out some time to pay her respects at the Pont de l’Alma tunnel — where Harry’s mother suffered a tragic car crash 20 years ago, before her suspicious death. “The word is that Meghan will visit the spot where Diana took her last breaths to leave some flowers,” an insider tells GLOBE.…

NON-U.S. RESIDENTS Residents living outside the U.S. must pay double the state minimum for the State Silver 100’s U.S. RESIDENTS GET 20 STATE SILVER 100’S FREE: Pictured above is the never before seen entire 50 State Silver 100’s Collection™ shown off by officials from the Federated Mint that everyone is trying to get. Lucky U.S. residents who are among the first 17,544 callers who beat the 48 hour order deadline to claim the 50 State Silver 100’s Collection are actually getting 20 State Silver 100’s absolutely free, the custom made State Treasury Display Chest is $285, but it’s absolutely free for U.S. residents plus free shipping and free handling too. That means U.S. residents cover just the $99 state minimum set by the Federated Mint for the remaining 30 State…

GAME show legend Monty Hall’s family is callously kicking his memories to the curb — literally! Just six months after the Let’s Make a Deal host’s sad death at 96, the dumpster behind his Beverly Hills home was turned into a treasure trove of priceless memorabilia, including family photos, awards, a White House holiday card from then-President Jimmy Carter … and even a telegram from Frank Sinatra! Dumpster-diver Jace Robinson stumbled on the TV star’s belongings and salvaged them before they were taken to the dump! “I was shocked that all these things were thrown away!” Robinson tells GLOBE. “I have six boxes!” Contacted by GLOBE, Richard Hall, Monty’s only son, says it was impossible to hold on to all his dad’s prized possessions — with much of it needing…

NBC is showing buyer’s remorse as they refuse to commit to bringing back Sunday Night with Megyn Kelly, according to insiders, who see the move as the network’s first step toward ditching TV’s Queen of Mean! The official word on Megyn Kelly’s prime-time train wreck — which lost in the ratings game to reruns of America’s Funniest Home Videos — is that the show’s periodic return will be “dependent on Kelly’s schedule with her weekday-morning program, Megyn Kelly Today. But critics aren’t so sure that’s the truth! “Sunday Night drew dismal dismal audience numbers — and her outrageous Today attack on Jane Fonda has alienated viewers who now see her as nasty. TV execs are thinking about the future, and they’re likely considering one without Kelly,” says an industry insider.…

ACROSS 1 Jurassic Park animals 6 Wellgroomed guy (2 wds.) 11 Hair near the ear 16 “Go get it, Fido!” 17 Von Steuben’s title 18 Bassoon inserts 19 Trite 20 Get the ___ hand 21 “Greatest” boxer 22 Old Egypt 23 Computer “brain” 24 Tavern 25 Baby eel 26 Played the role 28 Hokkaido seaport 31 Unwilling 33 Dennehy in Cocoon 34 Votes in 36 Fly the coop 38 Perfume 41 Heavenly altar 43 Spin a yarn 46 Make fit 48 Marched 49 Snap, crackle, or pop 51 Corn silk 53 Abel’s mother 54 Wide shoe width 55 Indy 500 entrants 57 Managed 58 Sales slip 61 Dance Fever music 62 Part of FBI 63 Flowers 65 Burglar 67 Storm 69 Arizona plants 70 Group of seven 73 Screw up…

ROCK legend Mick Jagger has been seduced by the shadowy Church of Scientology! The strutting Rolling Stones’ erotic front man was targeted by the cult-like religion in the early ’70s, when he and his hard-partying bandmates were deep into drugs and at his most vulnerable! The band had just finished a long and difficult recording session of their classic album, Exile on Main Street, which is historic not only for it’s musical greatness, but the amount of partying the band did while making it. “The boys were a bit strung out and at each other’s throats after that one,” spills a source close to the band. “There were rumors that Mick had tried to move in on Keith Richards’ girlfriend, Anita Pallenberg, during the sessions in the South of France,…

LOSER LAUER IS OUT BIG BUCKS! Sex sicko MATT LAUER has been forced to slash the asking price for his 25-acre Hamptons estate by $2.15 million! The Sag Harbor, N.Y., property had been up for grabs for nine months at $14.9 million — but there have been no takers since Lauer was booted as host of NBC’s Today show in November 2017, following bombshell sexual assault and harassment accusations. The ritzy 8,000-square-foot property is one of many homes owned by Lauer and estranged wife Annette Roque, who have reportedly begun divorce proceedings following the notorious scandal that exposed Lauer’s depraved workplace hijinks. PARIS SEES RED OVER FAN PHOTOS PARIS JACKSON, the 19-year-old daughter of MICHAEL JACKSON and DEBBIE ROWE, has taken to social media to demand fans stop editing her…

THIS careless mother is a real piece of work! After her eight-year-old son SHOT her four-year-old daughter, she cleaned up the bloody mess and went back to her job! Alyssa M. Edwards, 27, was jailed on child endangerment charges related to the senseless shooting in Hayesville, Ohio, about 70 miles southwest of Cleveland. The pathetic parent left her children unattended while she was on the clock at a nearby horse farm — and returned only for a brief moment to check on her brutally bruised kid when her son called to confess his crime! Ashland County prosecutor Christopher Tunnell says Alyssa’s husband believed she was taking the two children to a babysitter after he left for work. Instead, she left the two children home alone. The family kept a rifle…

TIME has not been kind to some of the biggest stars of the ‘80s. In this blockbuster special report, GLOBE reveals the actor who’s down and out, the sitcom star devastated by family tragedy, the TV mom battling breast cancer, the actress ravaged by mental illness … and that’s just for starters! SHELLEY DUVALL’S BROKE & CRAZY FAMED for hit flicks The Shining and Popeye, once bubbly Shelley Duvall is now unrecognizable — a tragic recluse, living in squalor and battling mental illness. “I am very sick. I need help,” admits the 68-year-old, who lives on a rundown ranch in Blanco, Texas, with her partner, Dan Gilroy. “I have no money. I’ve made five TV series and a bunch of movies and I have nothing. I don’t want to die…

FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ WIN $100 Tell us why these pix DON’T exactly match and win… There are three differences between these photos. If you spot them correctly — and your entry is the first chosen at random — GLOBE will send you $100. Simply identify the three differences between the photographs in a letter or postcard and send it to us. Official FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ rules 1. The contest is open to all residents of the United States ages 18 and older. Employees of American Media, Inc., its corporate sponsors and advertisers are not eligible. 2. NO PURCHASE IS NECESSARY. 3. To enter the FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ contestants must identify the differences between the photographs in a letter or postcard addressed to Globe #14 FUNNY PHOTO QUIZ, P.O. Box 7019…

FAST food wrecks your body’s immune system as badly as bacteria does and could lead to deadly health woes, say German researchers. Scientists fed mice a diet high in fat and sugar, and discovered the rodents experienced an “induced systemic inflammation” — meaning their physical response to junk food mimicked the cellular changes that happen when a bacterial infection is present. “The unhealthy diet led to an unexpected increase in the number of certain immune cells in the blood of the mice,” says Anette Christ from the University of Bonn in Germany. While their bodies returned to normal once the test subjects resumed a more balanced diet, genetic changes associated with an assertive immune response lingered. Much like when an infection occurs, the body keeps “memories” of past experiences to…

WE’RE getting sick and tired of sex-swapping, publicity hound Caitlyn Jenner trying to make us as confused as she is. Former Olympic decathlon champ Bruce managed to grab headlines — and a ton of sympathy — when he said he was unhappy as a man and wanted to be a woman. The father of six with three wives managed to snag a Vanity Fair cover, reality show and an ESPY Award for courage after his transformation into Caitlyn. Now that interest has fizzled, Caitlyn’s again trying to grab the limelight by making us guess whether she’s a gay man, a gay woman, straight — OR just a goofy, wrinkled, 68-year-old dilapidated drag queen. The man-made woman now reportedly has the hots for Crystal Harris, a 31-year-old former Playboy playmate and…

AMERICAN Idol judge Lionel Richie slammed daughter Sophia’s romance with bad-boy beau Scott Disick, calling it a “phase” — but their battle has kicked up a notch as sources claim the reality TV love rat was barred from an L.A. ceremony honoring the 68-year-old hitmaker! Despite his public romance with 19-year-old model Sophia, Disick, 34, did not join the Richie clan as Lionel left his hand and footprints on Hollywood Boulevard. “Lionel banned her from bringing him with her,” dishes an insider.…

BLAKE SHELTON is sharing secret late-night phone calls with ex-wife MIRANDA LAMBERT! After 34-year-old Miranda split with longtime beau ANDERSON EAST, 29, Blake reached out to offer support to the woman he ditched in 2015. “Blake called her up to let her know that he was sorry about the news,” a source spills. “They have a long history of bringing comfort to each other when they need it.” Now, insiders snitch Blake’s new squeeze, GWEN STEFANI, would be less than thrilled to find her man offering comfort to someone he recently shared a bed with for several years! The No Doubt singer, 48, went ballistic back in 2015 when she found out the former country couple were texting each other. “Gwen saw it and lost it,” a source spilled at…

The phone lines are ringing off the hook. “It’s like a modern day ‘Gold Rush’,” said Mary Ellen Withrow, the emeritus 40th Treasurer of the United States of America. “Everyone wants to get their hands on the first and only State Silver 100’s now being handed over to U.S. residents at just the state minimum set by the private Federated Mint before they’re all gone,” Withrow said. “But don’t bother calling local banks and credit unions because they can’t even get their hands on these never before seen State Silver 100’s,” Withrow said. That’s because these valuable, proof finish State Silver 100’s are not being released and minted by the U.S. Gov’t. That’s right; they’re being released directly to the first 17,544 U.S. residents who beat the 48 hour order…

LARRY DAVID is pretty, pretty, pretty obsessed with gambling! The 70-year-old Curb Your Enthusiasm comic is spending more time cutting cards in high stakes Hollywood poker games than planning for the next season of his massive hit HBO show, according to insiders! “Larry is in absolutely no hurry to get back to work right now — even though the network is pressuring him to shoot new episodes,” a source snitches. “Instead, he’s living and breathing poker with his rich buddies in L.A. at least twice a week!” “He is absolutely religious about getting everyone together — and goes all-out to lay on a great spread for all his pals, with an astronomically high buy-in per every game,” the insider adds. “He insists it’s just a hobby, but his pals are a…