Table of contents for 06-Feb-2020 in Chat

Dee’s baby looked like a little cartoon Minion, but a surprise gift gave her a second chance (p37). Leanne’s heartbreaking story shows why you should always tell those you love how you feel when you say goodbye (p44). And Carolyn and her family moved into a dream home but what unfolded there was truly nightmarish (p54). We’ve got more real life stories and the prize puzzles you love, as well as recipes with chocolate spread (p40) and a fiery-red fashion round-up (p12). Have a great week!…

A month before her wedding, Justine Ruszczyk, 40, was in the prime of her life. Blonde and beautiful, she was thriving in her career as a life coach and yoga teacher. She was also a spiritual healer, dedicated to helping others. In April 2014, Justine had moved from Sydney to Minneapolis to be with her beloved fiance Don Damond. It didn’t take her long to settle in. An animal lover, Justine volunteered at a local dog shelter. And she became a loving stepmum to Don’s son Zach, 19. In July 2017, Justine and Don were just four weeks away from getting married in Hawaii. They’d planned a beach ceremony, Justine had picked out a beautiful gown. But on 15 July 2017, tragedy struck… Justine’s final moments At 11.37pm, Justine was…

HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is a virus that damages the cells in your immune system and weakens your ability to fight everyday infections and disease. When the condition was first identified in the 1980s, it was considered a death sentence. Now, while there is still no cure, there are very effective drug treatments that enable most people with the virus to live a long and healthy life. With an early diagnosis and effective treatments, most people with HIV will not develop any AIDS-related illnesses and will live a near-normal lifespan. For more info, visit nhs.uk/conditions/hiv-and-aids/…

I get hard at awkward moments Q I have an erection several times every day and always at the wrong time, like at work or meeting someone new! It’s really embarrassing, is it normal? Tom, Northampton A Yes, it’s normal and helps to show that everything’s working as it should be! It’s particularly common in younger men and usually stops being a problem once you’re into your 20s. Usually, your brain triggers an erection when you’re sexually aroused, but sometimes it can set off an erection in the wrong circumstances – often when you’re anxious or afraid, need to pee, or even out of the blue. Erections when dreaming, or on waking in the morning, are common, even in older men. If you do become hard when you don’t want…

A6 KILLING Scientist Michael Gregsten, 36, was shot dead and his girlfriend Valerie Storie, 22, raped in their car on the A6, near Bedford, in August 1961. She survived five gunshots, but was left paralysed. James Hanratty, 25, was arrested. Convicted of murder, in 1962 Hanratty was one of the last people to be executed in the UK. His family protested his innocence and, in 2001, his body was exhumed for DNA evidence - which the Court of Appeal said proved his guilt ‘beyond doubt'. MISSING TEEN FOUND DEAD In August 1961, Jacqueline Thomas, 15, from Birmingham, went missing. She was found dead - sexually abused, strangled. The case was unsolved until, after a cold-case review in 2007, Anthony Hall, 70, was charged. However, Hall was already in prison for…

1 TALK ABOUT IT  Don’t be afraid to turn to friends and family for support. However, not everyone goes through empty nest syndrome – so tell those you know will understand. 2 FIND YOU AGAIN  An empty nest means you have space and time to get back in touch with the old you. Did you love music, cooking, painting..? This is a great time to crack on with what you love or something you never knew could be fun. 3 KEEP IN TOUCH  Don’t just rely on texts with your kids. Plan a time that’s convenient for you both and spend a good hour chatting. You can have a proper catch-up. Don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back – you’ve raised an independent child who’s not afraid…

By September 2015, Tiffany was desperately ill. She’d contracted sepsis and doctors warned that she might be too weak for a liver transplant. But me and Wayne never gave up hope. Although unlikely, we were both tested to see if we were a compatible match. But we weren’t. Then, on a rare night that Tiffany was allowed home, I heard her cry out from her cot. Picking her up, I gently rubbed her back. But she started coughing up blood. ‘Call an ambulance,’ I cried to Wayne. By the time paramedics arrived, I was covered in my baby’s blood. I knew then, my little girl was dying. We were desperate to find a donor, but any leads that came forward were all found to be a poor match. Days later,…

Malted double chocolate and Nutella biscuits More is sometimes, most definitely, more… MAKES 15 PREP TIME 10 MINS COOK TIME 15 MINS • 100g butter, softened • 2tbsp Nutella • 50g caster sugar • 150g plain flour • 30g malted milk powder – we used Horlicks • 2tbsp each of Nutella chocolate spread and dulce de leche (or caramel), to decorate • Pinch flaky sea salt 1 Preheat oven to 180C/Gas 4. Beat together the butter, 2tbsp Nutella and the sugar until well combined. Add the flour and malted milk powder and briefly beat until brought together. 2 Roll balls of the mixture and arrange them on a lined baking tray. 3 Bake in the preheated oven for 15 mins, until cooked. Use the back of a spoon to make…

Aries 21 March-20 April Expect a smooth ride, Aries, your ambition to succeed in something you want to achieve will be in top gear. Someone offers a lifeline that should be considered. Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April-21 May Time to scrap stuff that’s not working and replace it with something that will. Now’s the time to put things straight with someone to create a stronger bond. Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May-21 June You’ll be surprised at just how far you get at work, as your organisation skills will come into play with full force. News from a relative brings peace and joy. Call 0905 817 0692* for more Cancer 22 June-23 July Expand your mind through education or cultural activities - it’ll…

Sally Hansen Good.Kind. Pure in Fruity Papaya, £8.99 These two polishes, in shades of juicy coral and cool neutral, come from a 24-strong range of vegan polishes and treatments. Made with a potato, corn and wheat formula, the range is kind to nails. Clairol Natural Instincts Conditioning Colour, £6.99 This home hair dye is 100% vegan, has a super-gentle formula with aloe vera, plus it comes in a recyclable carton and PVC-free plastic bottles. 7th Heaven Coconut Clay Peel Off Mask, £1.74 This purifying clay mask draws oil from your skin in the most satisfying way, while nourishing with coconut oil. Plus it smells like Bounty bars! Dr Bronners 18-in-1 Pure Castile liquid soap, £2.39 There are 18 uses for this multitasker, including cleansing your face, body, hair – even…

Channan Warmington Lewis Moore, 20, London Playing with my toys, I was startled by my older brother. ‘It’s not fair!’ Tom, then 7, cried. ‘What’s not fair?’ I asked him, confused. ‘You’re ABC positive!’ he shouted before storming off. It was 2006, I was just 6 and had no idea what Tom was talking about. But that night, as my adoptive mum Janette, then 46, tucked me up in bed, I asked her what Tom meant. ‘You’re HIV positive,’ he gasped, horrified ‘Tom didn’t mean ABC positive, he meant HIV positive,’ she said softly. Mum explained it was something I’d had since I was born. And suddenly, everything made sense. The medicine I’d taken daily, the nurse visits, the hospital appointments. ‘How did I get it?’ I asked. ‘From your…

Eli Brecher, 24, north London Pushing away my plate, I refused to take another bite. ‘My belly hurts again,’ I moaned to my parents. This had become a regular thing. I complained of tummy ache every single mealtime. At first, Mum thought I was just being fussy. Student drinking and 3am pizzas left me in agony She tried everything – swapping my foods around, cutting my portion sizes – but still, I grumbled about pains. In October 2003, when I was 8, Mum took me to the GP. I was given blood tests, the doctor felt my belly. ‘There’s some inflammation,’ he said. He referred me for a colonoscopy – a tiny camera to look inside me. In hours, the doctors had the results. ‘She has Crohn’s disease,’ he explained…

Claire Lowe, 33, Chesterfield Unlocking my phone, I saw a string of ‘Happy birthday’ messages appear on screen. Some from family, others from friends who’d tagged me in cringeworthy photos. It was April 2016, my 30th birthday. Among the messages was one from Gary, 31. A friend of a friend, he’d added me on Facebook a few days before. ‘I was in the year above you at school,’ he reminded me now. I didn’t remember him, but he looked handsome, had a kind face, so I was happy to chat. He asked me what I was up to, if I was doing anything nice to celebrate. Gradually, texting turned into calling and then into video chatting. We could talk about everything and had no awkward silences. I’d get excited whenever…

Leanne Foote, 39, Barrow-in-Furness As the nurse handed me my podgy newborn boy, I fell totally in love with him. At nearly 10lb, Drew was a big baby, had one blue eye and one green. He had a big mouth, too, crying from the moment he was born in January 2009! ‘It’s OK, Mummy’s here,’ I cooed as Drew bawled. Couldn’t wait to introduce him to my two children from a previous relationship. But back home, no matter how much I comforted him, Drew wouldn’t settle. He fed well, but he cried constantly, wouldn’t sleep. My then partner and I took turns to stay up with him. ‘It wasn’t like this with the others,’ I groaned. They’d been so easy-going. But as they played together quietly, I was constantly having…

Jo Turner, 31, Doncaster December 2014 I’m smiling in this picture, giving the camera a thumbs up. But inside, I’m feeling drained. Chemo will do that to you. Being diagnosed with breast cancer, aged 26, wasn’t something that I’d ever expected. I’d found the lump on my left breast back in October. Feeling it as I showered, I never thought for a second it would be cancer. I’m too young, I thought. Even my doctors doubted it at first. But eventually I was referred to a breast clinic. I’d had a mammogram, biopsy and a full body scan. Knew it wasn’t looking good, though. ‘It’s cancer, isn’t it?’ I asked my nurse outright. ‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘We’re going to do all that we can for you.’ I was diagnosed with…

3 ways to... get the best travel insurance 1 Start thinking… …about purchasing a travel insurance policy early on. Combine it with booking your holiday and set the  start date to there and then, rather than your trip start date, to ensure you're covered for any pre-holiday issues, such as medical or flight disruptions. In these uncertain times, you could even opt for a travel disruption add-on for extra protection, such as CoverForYou's Brexit Travel Disruption Cover. 2 Medical issues…  …are one of the main reasons people have to make a claim on holiday. Basic cover will ensure you're protected for £1-2 million, but it's better to look out for policies offering cover in the region of £10-15 million. Be as detailed as you can with any pre-existing medical conditions,…

Leanne Bale, 35, Forest of Dean Rolling his new motorbike onto the driveway, my fiance Joe, 30, was beaming. ‘It just needs a bit of tweaking and it’ll be good to go in no time,’ he grinned. Boys will be boys, I thought, giving him a smile. Though Joe hadn’t ridden in years, he needed some wheels for his new job as a labourer. The bike was proving difficult to get started straight away, but it was still very much functional. That night, on 6 May 2018, we were off out to the pub as a family. Me, Joe, our son Jai Jai, then 2, plus my daughter Taylor, 13. The perfect way to end the bank-holiday weekend. Arriving home at 10.30pm, I tucked Jai Jai into bed and closed…

Collection Illuminating Touch Brightening Concealer, £3.99 Keep a concealer in your bag to touch up any last-minute mistakes. Use it to neaten the edges of lipstick, conceal mascara that’s smudged under your eyes and to correct messy eyeliner. Lime Crime Velvetines Lip Liner in Pumpkin, £14.50 Lip liner can also be used as a matte lipstick. It won’t move or smudge and you don’t have to do any more than simply line and fill in. If you’re in a rush... …use your fingertips to apply make-up such as blusher or lipstick. The warmth of your hands means you’ll be able to move the product around more easily.…

Jane Rowe, 31, Mountain Ash Ushering us through the front door, my dad handed me a bag of toys and waved goodbye. It was summer 1993, I was 4 – and this house, this routine, had become familiar. Every day, Dad dropped me and my brother, 3, with a local babysitter, while he went to work. It’d become the norm since my parents split up a few months earlier. At first, we loved our time there. Then someone else began looking after us. ‘This is my brother Mark,’ our usual babysitter said, introducing us. While she went to tend to her horse, she’d leave us with him. Mark was around 17, but to me, he was a grown-up. Always dressed in dark clothes, he had black, greasy hair. When he…

SKIRTS STYLE TIP Dress this up with a satin blouse or down with a cosy knit TOPS BAGS STYLE TIP Add some fun to an evening outfit DRESSES STYLE TIP Wrap-over styles elongate the silhouette and accentuate the waist…

In April 2019, Mohamed Noor was found guilty of the third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter of Justine Ruszczyk. At his sentencing, Justine’s heartbroken fiance Don read out a letter in which he described weeping in a dress shop when he saw Justine’s wedding dress for the first time after she died. ‘I had an experience of what that magical wedding night in Hawaii would have been like,’ he said. ‘I fantasised about seeing you walk on the beach in that dress toward me to exchange our vows. I fantasised kissing you as they designated us man and wife. But these are not memories but sad wishes of what will never be.’ Noor was sentenced to 12 ½ years for the fatal shooting. In July 2019, his lawyers launched an appeal…

Appy & healthy Want tips from elite trainers, nutritionists and mindfulness experts? The Centr app (from £7.83 per month, via Google Play Store and centr.com), was created by actor Chris Hemsworth and wife Elsa Pataky to offer Hollywood results at home. Swap and see Did you know that a sanitary pad takes 300 to 500 years to decompose? Switch to Love Luna Period Briefs (from £10, TU Clothing at Sainsbury’s). These leakproof undies, which can be washed and reused, are a more sustainable alternative. Is a low salary affecting your mental well-being? Those in low-paying jobs are more likely to suffer with their mental health.* In fact, a study revealed that chronic stress is higher for those in poor-quality work than those who are unemployed. With over a quarter (27%)…

Gary says, ‘We had a rocky relationship, most of it was my fault, not all of it. I apologised a million times to Claire and tried to assure her things would be different. ‘It was difficult for her, and I don’t condone my actions at all, but things happen in life. I’ve spoken to Claire about it a million times. ‘Breaking up was the best thing for us. It’s never nice breaking up with someone, it’s just relationships and life. ‘I made a mistake and, unfortunately, I hurt someone I loved. Do I wish I could take it back? Yes, but it is what it is. ‘I’ve apologised many times.’…

I’ve upset my mum Q My parents had me when they were 18. They recently threw me a big party for my own 18th birthday. They have their own company and money is no object. They’re still young but they behave like kids – partying, drinking. At my party, they got drunk and flirted with my mates, who all think they’re amazing. I screamed at Mum, told her that she was an embarrassment and I wished she wasn’t my mum. The day after, I tried to apologise but she didn’t want to know and called me ungrateful. We don’t speak now and she eats alone in her room. What can I do? Phoenix, 18 A Oh dear, flower! You’re certainly not the first person to be embarrassed by their parents!…

Dee Lothian, 36, Eastbourne As me and my husband Wayne, then 35, walked through our front door, newborn Tiffany in my arms, a welcome party was waiting. Our family had gathered to greet our new bundle. ‘She’s perfect!’ my mother-in-law Christine cooed. Our three older kids, Harry, then 11, Ruby, 10, and Courtney, 2, crowded around their new sister. It was April 2015. I was exhausted, but it was lovely to see baby Tiffany getting so much fuss. ‘I’ll take her,’ my niece Fern, then 21, offered as Tiffany started to cry. And as soon as Fern held her, Tiffany’s tears dried up. ‘The magic touch!’ I smiled. But as the days went on, I often struggled to get Tiffany to settle. Resorted to carrying her around in a sling.…

Car and home insurance customers say they need to save an average of £52.50 on annual premiums to switch providers, a study has found. Research from Sainsbury's Bank Insurance reveals most people need an incentive to change their provider, with an average yearly saving of £54.60 needed to switch car insurance and £50.40 to trigger a change in home insurance provider. Go digital You could find it easier to make sure all your belongings are covered on your home insurance policy if you check out buzzvault insurance. An assessor will do a survey of your home by video-call. Visit gobuzzvault.com. As ever, shop around for insurance and always read the T&Cs carefully.…

Coronation Street Rita’s special mission In a special hour-long show to mark the soap’s 10,000th episode, Rita plans to go to Blackpool to scatter the ashes of her ex-hubby Dennis Tanner and Jenny decides to make a day of it by organising a coach trip for the locals… Emmerdale Laurel and Arthur’s sad news Laurel receives the news that Sandy has died. When she tells the kids, Arthur takes it badly and decides to own up to hurting Archie. When Jai returns from rehab, will she tell him about her son being nasty to his little boy..? Eastenders Linda’s in for a shock When Linda’s drunken antics put Ollie in danger, Shirley’s determined to get her daughter-in-law to face up to her problems and insists she goes to a support…

Q I get such chapped lips in the winter and no amount of balm seems to help. Any suggestions? Ashley Anderson, 34, London A Lip balms tend to work at surface level, giving temporary comfort, but not actually treating the causes of dry, peeling lips. Instead, try a few skincare tricks, starting with exfoliation. Gently work Barry M Mango Lip Scrub, £4.99, in circles to de-flake, then follow with Burt’s Bees Intensive Lip Treatment, £6.98. As well as nourishing oils, it contains ceramides, which are naturally occurring lipids that strengthen skin and prevent moisture loss. Finally, don’t forget that dehydration can be a hidden cause of chapped lips, so follow the age-old beauty advice and be sure to drink plenty of water. TOP TIP Swipe nails with nail varnish remover…

Dear Maria, We weren’t expecting the phone call just before that Christmas. But you needed us and we were ready. As the social workers brought you in, we took in your rosebud lips and rounded cheeks. ‘She’s beautiful, Mummy!’ my daughter Sarah, 13, cried with excitement. ‘We’ve named her Holly, given the time of the year,’ the social worker explained. ‘It’s OK, angel. We’ll look after you,’ I whispered. My husband Bill and I had signed up to be foster parents six months before, in 1978. I already had three children – Sarah, Sophie and Stevie. But I loved being a mum and had so much love to give. After going through the checks and interviews, you were our first foster child. Your mum had given birth to you just…