The Simple Things -julkaisun December 2016 - Issue 54 -irtonumeron sisällysluettelo

There’s plenty of bonhomie around this month which makes for jolly times and merry gatherings. And now and again you come across a heart-warming example of seasonal goodwill, just because. This bay leaf wreath was given to me by a stranger to say thank you for selling her my car. I’d given her a copy of The Simple Things, which inspired her to spend time making me a gift. And that’s the real gift of Christmas – it gives us some time. Time to spend making and baking, gathering our family together and maybe a random act of kindness or two, just because. Happy holidays! #mysimplething…

LOUISE GORROD Our Wishlist Editor blogs, bakes and photographs at Buttercup Days: buttercupdays.com. On Instagram: louise_ buttercupdays…

Chaz Hutton spent quite a lot of his time at work scribbling little scenes on yellow sticky notes when he should have been doing something else, and then posting them on Instagram. Now his pie charts, Venn diagrams, graphs and stick figures, which poke fun at the conundrums, confusions and curiosities of life appear in a book. He tackles visiting gift shops, watching films at the cinema, keeping plants alive, poaching an egg and why getting a dog is a good idea. There’s also a way to increase productivity: “Write numbered to-do list with check boxes… put in ‘wake up’ and ‘have a shower’ at the top. Oh man, look at us now, we are getting so much stuff done.”…

PROUDLY HOMEMADE PARTY TOASTS These moreish morsels won’t linger for long at a festive do Makes 24-30 1 sourdough batard (shorter, wider baguette) Olive oil, for drizzling 4 rosemary sprigs, leaves chopped 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped FOR THE SMOKED TROUT TOPPING 4 tbsp sour cream 2 tbsp horseradish sauce 1 tsp Dijon mustard 1 smoked trout, weighing about 200g, skinned, head removed and de-boned Thyme sprigs or chopped chives, to garnish Lemon zest strips, to garnish FOR THE GOAT 'S CHEESE TOPPING 90g soft goat’s cheese 11/2 tbsp red pepper chutney/ jam* 30g basil leaves, chopped 1 Preheat oven to 180C/Fan160C/350F. Line a large baking tray with baking parchment. Cut the bread into very thin slices, then quarter each slice. Spread out over the baking tray, drizzle very generously…

“They are the footwear of choice to envelop your feet on Christmas morning” O the sublime comfort of slippers! What other footwear offers such ease? They are the friendliest, the most accommodating of shoes. No cramped toes or need for plasters with these lovelies; no tottering about on heels or need to get your feet ‘sandal ready’. Slip on a pair and you enter a world of warmth, forgiveness and kindness. Slippers say ‘home’ like no other garment. They signify the contentment that comes from kicking off your work shoes, shutting the door and having no intention of going out again for a very long time. They are the footwear of choice to envelop your feet on Christmas morning as you shuffle down to open your presents. There are naysayers,…

NATIVE TO NORTHERN France, only 60 miles east of Paris, champagne is a sparkling wine from the region of the same name, which is home to 319 wine-making villages and more than 15,000 wine growers. Traditionally, it is made of a blend of white and red grapes – pinot noir, pinot meunier and chardonnay. While still wine is the result of fermentation, champagne’s bubbles, like most sparkling wines, are the product of a second fermentation through the addition of yeast and sugar. Since 1936 it’s been awarded an AOC (Appellation d’Origine Contrôlée) thanks to its unique terroir, with its northerly latitude, cool climate and chalky soils. Other sparkling wines are available round the world, from Spain’s cava and Italy’s prosecco to Germany’s Deutscher sekt. And you can find increasingly good…

Knitted jumpers come into their own at Christmas. Whether you pull one on over your pyjamas and slouch down to breakfast, or step out briskly on a frosty walk, snug and smug in your knit, they are ideal clobber when the temperature drops. In recent years, the rise of the ironic Christmas jumper (as sported by Mark Darcy in Bridget Jones’s Diary and countless festive TV presenters) has turned our heads, but there is a more tasteful alternative: the Scandi sweater. Its distinctive pattern and shape came into the public’s consciousness when Sarah Lund ran around in one in Danish crime drama The Killing. Hers is the classic sweater: knitted on the Faroe Islands by home knitters and sold by Gudrun and Gudrun (gudrungudrun.com) for £290, it is based on…

Saffron bundt cake with pears Saffron-flavoured buns, for St Lucia’s Day, are a December tradition in Norway and Sweden. This saffron cake with pears is a twist on that 30g breadcrumbs 50g butter 100ml whole milk 0.5g ground saffron 2 large or 3 small pears A little lemon juice 325g caster sugar 4 eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract 300g plain flour 2 tsp baking powder ½ tsp salt 50g Greek yoghurt Icing sugar, for dusting 1 Preheat oven to 180C/Fan 160C/350F. Grease a 25cm Bundt or ring pan and dust with breadcrumbs, tipping out the excess. 2 Melt butter and add milk and ground saffron. Stir and set aside to infuse. 3 Peel and core pears and cut into bite-sized chunks. Add lemon juice, stir and set aside. 4 In…

FAVOURITE SHOPS Folly 101 Perfect gifts for all occasions; glassware, linens, baskets, blankets.facebook.com/folly101 Motifs French flair, the clothes that fit me best. facebook.com/Motifs-Portland-ME-138428469519361/ K Colette The space itself is charming: brick walls and wooden beams.kcolette.com FAVOURITE BAR Zapoteca Margaritas made with fresh lemons and limes; guacamole, taquitos de pollo.zapotecarestaurant.com Walters Comfy chairs in the bar overlooking passers-by on the sidewalk; I like the Thai chicken lettuce wraps.waltersportland.com BEST MARKETS Micucci’s Italian Grocery My husband’s Italian grandmother used to walk daily to this authentic food shop for pasta, deli meats and cheeses.micuccigrocery.com Rosemont Market Fresh produce, breads, smiles and kind words.rosemontmarket.com FAVOURITE GALLERY Portland Art Gallery A light-filled space featuring Maine artists.artcollectormaine.com BEST USE OF AN HOUR Head to Commercial Street, follow the Eastern Trail to the steps up to the…

• Sheepskins strewn over chairs ramp up the cosiness factor. Sheepskin pouffes and beanbags are also an option. Try Cox & Cox (coxandcox.co.uk). Ikea (ikea.com) has the Ludde, a sheepskin for £30. • Hang some antlers. Re (re-foundobjects.com) has little antlers hung on plaques, £26, and Paperchase (paperchase.co.uk) has a felt stag head, £12. • Faux-timber wallpaper used to decorate a room or just a corner is a nod to the wonders of a wooden chalet. Try Wood Plank Wallpaper, £10 per roll, Graham and Brown (grahambrown.com). • Light a fire. If you have an open fire or woodburner, you’re all set. If not, DVDs of crackling open-hearth fires with burning wood sounds are available on Amazon. • Layer up. Bring in some rugs and pile throws and wraps on…

CHARACTERS BECOME so real in our best-loved books, it’s only natural that we want them to live on and know more about their lives before and after the story that made them famous. Here are our favourite prequels, sequels and retellings to add to your Christmas list. Shakespeare Shakespeare was a great ‘reteller’ of tales, adapting and changing his source material to tease something new and wonderful from old stories of love and marriage, revenge and jealousy. Hag-Seed BY MARGARET ATWOOD (HOGARTH SHAKESPEARE) The Hogarth Shakespeare project asks current authors to add a modern twist to the Bard’s work; here Margaret Atwood throws a handful of theatrical confetti over The Tempest, which swaps the isolated island setting for Fletcher County Correctional Institute, the colourful cast of characters for a clutch…

MEET SAINT NICHOLAS Although his home may be disputed, the man who became Saint Nicholas (who became Santa Claus) didn’t reside in Finland or Greenland, but in southern Turkey. Until his death on 6 December in the year 343, he was Bishop of Myra. He came from a rich family and was known for his charity. It wasn’t until medieval times, however, that he became ridiculously popular: as described in A Christmas Cornucopia by Mark Forsyth (Viking), in England alone, 800 churches were named after him. He was patron saint of more than 100 professions, as well as eight countries and innumerable towns, even children, orphans and those in financial need. The custom began of giving children gifts on 6 December, saying Saint Nicholas had brought them. By the 12th…

Winter trees are a high-rise living area, supporting all forms of native wildlife. Right now, the berries and fruits will help birds keep up their calorie count. Bark is a superb habitat for creepy crawlies – many will be hibernating in sheltered nooks and crannies. Think of organic growing as a natural system, where life-forms depend on each other. Insects such as bees and butterflies will pollinate your fruit and veg; birds eat pests such as aphids; beetles eat slugs, worms compost the soil, and both are food for birds. If we support this natural cycle, the wildlife will repay us by keeping the garden healthy. Winter is also the time to plant a tree, with a good choice of bare-root specimens now at the nursery. They are cheaper and…

JOLI NOEL Jolly vintage-style baubles look just as pretty on paper as the tree. Best for: adding retro charm to even high-tech pressies. £6.95 for five sheets, dotcomgiftshop.com WOODLAND ROBIN Based on a drawing by the designer behind Goodnight Boutique. Best for: eco-friendly printing adds to its natural appeal. £3.25 a sheet, Goodnight Boutique from notonthehighstreet.com NUTCRACKER Proudly British made using FSC paper stock and veg-based inks. Best for: adding a festive feel while bypassing the usual iconography. From £9.95 for five sheets, nancyandbetty.com…

GUNFIRE Forget the Buck’s Fizz, select members of the British Army get to celebrate Christmas morning with gunfire – a potent mix of black tea and rum. While its origins are unknown, it’s thought to date back to the 1890s. It’s even been adopted (albeit with coffee) on ANZAC day down under, part of a gunfire breakfast, after dawn commemorations. SERVING NOTES Stir one shot of dark rum into a cup of brewed black tea. Sweeten with honey if desired.…

WHY GROW THEM? While fruit and veg from your own backyard is something to be savoured, growing fungi feels a bit like alchemy. Mushrooms are a rich source of protein, too. WHEN TO SOW? Between autumn and spring will produce the best results. Use wooden dowels impregnated with mushroom spawn and ‘plant’ in a hard wood log, such as oak, beech, birch, hazel and willow, about 10–15cm in diameter. Drill holes in rows down the length of the log 7.5cm apart and at 15cm intervals. Tap in dowels, until flush with the surface and cover with wax. Hide in a shady area or wrap in plastic and bury in the ground. WHEN TO HARVEST? A bit of patience is needed as spores can take between 6 to 8 months to…

What could say Christmas more than a terrible romantic pun and a semi-naked man on its cover? Just us, or is it getting a little hot in here? You’ve got to feel for the book’s heroine, Giselle, on a Christmas assignment with her former brother-in-law who she’s always quite fancied. What on earth could happen? And just imagine any future family gatherings – awkward! Sadly this is the only work we could find by Ms LaBrecque. How we’ll get through Easter without a Hot Buns or similar sequel, we’re not sure... Found at awfullibrarybooks.net…

Christmas Survival Tummy Tonic Settles the stomach after overindulging in rich foods MAKES:415g KEEPS:1 year INGREDIENTS Dried ground herbs: 15g angelica root 15g chamomile 15g liquorice 15g marsh mallow root 15g artichoke roots or milk thistle seeds 340g jar of runny honey 1 Mix the ground herbs thoroughly with the honey to make a paste or thick syrup. 2Take 1–2 tsp in a glass or cup of hot water, 1–3 times daily for as long as needed. Found in The Domestic Alchemist: 501 Herbal Recipes for Home, Health and Happiness by Pip Waller (Leaping Hare Press)…

PERISTALSIS Surely exactly what you want to mull over as you contemplate the last Quality Street, peristalsis is a vital part of how we digest food. More specifically, it’s the process by which food is moved through our digestive system. In the mouth,your toffee penny is worked into a bolus (a ball-like mixture of food and saliva). When swallowed, circular muscles and longitudinal muscles in the gut produce a series of wave-like motions – called peristalsis – to move food through the oesophagus. The circular muscles reduce the diameter of the gut when they contract, while the longitudinal muscles reduce its length. The bolus continues to move through the intestines, where nutrients and water are absorbed into the body. Finally, the waste products are excreted. Still fancy eating that Quality…

CATHERINE FRAWLEY Catherine is a photographer, living in West Sussex, currently trying (and failing) to grow an indoor garden. Her festive creations are on page 24. If you could only have one thing in your Christmas stocking… A Terry’s Chocolate Orange: my mum has given me one each year since I was five. TILLY Tilly is an illustrator based in Brighton. Her interests include ceramics, and filling sketchbooks with her made-up friends. For The Simple Things this month, she’s been drawing tree skeletons (page 106). If you could only have one thing in your Christmas stocking… A shiny new set of colouring pencils. EITHNE FARRY Books editor Eithne loves dancing, and making clothes with safety pins and hope. This month, she’s brought together spin-offs of classic tales (page 86). If…

Morning! Easing into the day or cracking on? There’s no gentle start to the day. My first cup is English Breakfast, made while the children have breakfast. I put it in a keep-cup to drink on the go. Tell us a bit about your work My company, Wrapsody, does bespoke gift-wrapping. Around 80% of our wrapping is done in the last two months of the year. In the build up, we wrap empty boxes as scenery for TV shows and the phone rings constantly with enquiries for Christmas wrapping. From November to Christmas, I run a team of ten people and, as well as keeping the workshop open, we go all over London wrapping for brands like Liberty and doing pop-ups in stations and Christmas fairs. It’s fun but exhausting.…

You can understand why Line Mevassvik and her family spend every Christmas in their timber alpine lodge in Geilo, Norway. Who could resist its idyllic setting overlooking pine forests and snowy mountains? And its cosy interior filled with generous leather sofas, huge log fires, glittering antique glassware and candlelight is the ideal place to hunker down for the festive period. “We have spent every Christmas here since the cabin was built eight years ago,” says Line. “It is where we come to enjoy simple things and to live the good life.” The family (Line and husband Dag, and their children Kasper, Nikoline, Dag Eirik and Christian), like many families, have created their own Christmas traditions. Being Norway, this includes cross-country skiing as they wait for lunch to cook in the…

Beetroot cured salmon Curing your own salmon really isn’t as difficult as it sounds. It’s an immensely satisfying job and the finished product looks and tastes amazing. The colour of the beetroot doesn’t quite seep into the centre, giving a lovely colour contrast, while the delicate flavours of the dill with the pink peppercorns and vodka really come through. A special starter for Christmas dinner which, thankfully, must be prepared in advance*. For the recipe, turn to page 128. * The salmon needs at least two days to cure in the fridge…

Fika is the fine Swedish tradition of meeting up with friends for coffee and a sweet treat. This appetising book celebrates the delights of cakes, biscuits and tray bakes, with liquorice meringue kisses (salty and sweet, and served with vanilla ice-cream), delicious Daim cookies, cinnamon buns and Nordic Orange and Ginger biscuits, cut into star shapes and just right as edible decorations for the tree. Brontë’s Pear and Saffron Bundt Cake recipe is on page 59. Other festive delights include pepper nuts shaped like conkers and flavoured with cloves, ginger and white pepper, and Danish Christmas pancakes, made with buttermilk, cream and lemon zest, and raspberry jam for dipping.…

“I never wanted this book to happen. What I wanted was for my mum, Mary, to win her battle against cancer and for us to crack on with life.” But on 24 October 2014 Caroline Jones’s mum died, leaving Caroline grief-stricken. Struggling to come to terms with the loss, she was determined to find some way to honour Mary, and to do some good. Inspired by her mum’s love of clothes, she decided that for every day of a year she would wear a ‘pre-loved outfit’, gleaned from Cancer Research charity shops, take a picture, and post it on social media as a fundraising project. This book charts her “passage through grief, through seasons and through styles” in hats, coats, skirts and shirts – all worn with a flair and…

Family singalong The beautiful Ely Cathedral near Cambridge hosts its Hark! The Herald family carol concert on 22 December. Book in advance at tickets.elycathedral.org Classic Nine Lessons Join the magical Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols on 23 and 24 December in Truro Cathedral, where it was introduced by the first Bishop of Truro in 1880. trurocathedral.org.uk All the favourites A brass band and the Minster choir perform classical and popular festive pieces to kick-start Christmas on the 15th at York Minster. The 16th is already sold out… boxoffice.yorkminster.org …and a real donkey There’s a shorter service for young children at Salisbury Cathedral on Christmas Eve with an interactive retelling of the Christmas story with puppets and a donkey. What could go wrong? salisburycathedral.org.uk…

Orange pot pourri Beautifully perfumed orange holds its own in this seasonal, eye-catching arrangement 2 large oranges, thinly sliced, ends and pips discarded 1 lemon, thinly sliced, ends and pips discarded Peel of two clementines Cinnamon sticks and bark* Pine cones 1 tbsp cloves 1 Preheat the oven to a very low setting, about 75C/Fan 55C/ 160F. Line 2 or 3 baking trays with baking paper. 2 Arrange the orange and lemon slices on the lined trays in a single layer, without overlapping. 3 Use a small star cutter to cut star shapes out of the clementine peel. Add these to the trays with the orange and lemon slices. 4 Bake in the preheated oven for 2 hours, turning once, until the stars are dry. Remove the stars and return…

A This is an invitation to slow down, enjoy what you have and make the most of where you live. We’ve curated Best of The Simple Things, a 256-page anthology that gathers together our favourite features from the magazine’s first three years. It’s full of delicious, down-to-earth recipes, novel household projects and creative ideas for ways to share your home-grown bounty with friends and family. Swap your ‘to do’ list for a ‘could-do’ list and order a copy for you or a friend. Take time to live well. £18.95 + free UK p&p* ORDER AT ICEBERGPRESS.CO.UK/SHOP  OR FIND US AT ALL GOOD BOOK SHOPS *Check online for overseas postage prices…

CHRISTMAS TRIVIA 1. What was the name of Scrooge’s late business partner? 2. In which ocean will you find Christmas Island? 3. Name the three wise men. 4. Who is the servant of Cinderella’s father and also Cinderella’s friend? 5. Where does the Queen traditionally spend Christmas? 6. What Christmas item takes its name from the old French word ‘estincelle’, meaning ‘spark’? 7. Who composed ‘Auld Lang Syne’? 8. If you were born on Christmas Day, what’s your star sign? 9. How many Lords a-leaping are there in ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’? 10. What does the Brassica oleracea gemmifera give us? 11. In Cockney rhyming slang what are ‘eyes’ called? 12. In the rhyme ‘Christmas is coming’, who is getting fat? 13. Which act besides The Beatles is the…

*There’s no better way to get to the heart of a city than through the people who live there. Every month, we ask someone, clearly in love with their city, to take us on a personal tour and tell us what makes it so special. You may feel inspired to visit one day or to rediscover the charms of a city closer to you, but for now just sit back, relax and enjoy some armchair travel. How long have you lived in Portland? All my life. There's magic and wonder to branching out and leaving your birthplace. But so, too, is there magic in remaining among what is familiar, yet changes over time as you age. I feel blessed to live and remain in my small city, where people know…

Wildlife retreat Waunbayvil, Pembrokeshire Homely hand-built Little Barn is a place where you can feel close to wilderness, rare flora and fauna and Welsh mountain ponies. Owners Neti and Hugo love to share this peaceful and exciting spot with those who come to stay. The mezzanine level creates a lofty living area with pitch-pine windows and floors, a curved ceiling, and artwork and vintage curiosities line the walls and bookshelves. Five minutes away by car is Cwybr Bay, a beautiful, wild inlet with a pebbly cove and coastal path from where you can sometimes spot dolphins and seals. When you’re home and dry, cook supper on the charcoals and stay up late to see the stars burn bright in unpolluted skies. Sleeps 2 Woodland camp Welburn, North Yorkshire If you…

The sooner you sleep, Mum said, the sooner tomorrow will come. Holly’s brother Sam fell asleep at once but Holly’s legs want to bicycle and run. She tries but she’s camping in the air bed, on the floor, and can’t get comfortable. Her eyes will not stay closed: Star Hopper’s gold mane glows too bright from light under the door. The empty stockings dangle in the dark above the outline of Sam’s Airfix Cutty Sark. Dad’s locked the room the Christmas tree, presents and surprise are out of bounds mustn’t open the stockings or make a sound till sunrise. While she waits for sunrise in the black brocade of London night, the first quiet songs start up in the tropical dawn chorus in the Queensland Everglades. A white haze glows…

Show kindness Give unwanted warm clothes to a homeless person, offer the toys/bike you were going to put on Ebay to a family who might appreciate some help this Christmas.The Salvation Army, for example, runs a ChristmasPresentAppeal,salvationarmy.org.uk. Donate Many of us have a cause that’s close to our hearts,butif you want to donate to charity and feel bewildered by the choice of worthy recipients, GiveWell (givewell.org) is an independent evaluator that rates charities in terms of lives saved or improved. Volunteer Type your postcode intodo-it.org,anational volunteering database,to find opportunities in your community, from dog-walkingto admin. Be neighbourly More than one million elderly people intheUK regularly go a whole month without speaking to anyone. If you don’t know a person who needs befriending,ageuk.org.ukcan put you in touch.…

“When winter comes in earnest to fulfil His yearly task at bleak November’s close, And stops the plough and hides the fields in snows; When frost locks up the streams in chill delay And mellows on the hedge the purple sloes…” ‘THE SHEPHERD’S CALENDAR’ BY JOHN CLARE, 1827 One of my oldest friends is the best person to join for a country walk. What he doesn’t know about the countryside simply isn’t worth knowing. Thanks to him, I can tell the difference between a blackthorn and a hawthorn hedgerow in spring, because he taught me the saying, “leaves before flowers, hawthorn; flowers before leaves, blackthorn”. Which means I know where to go to gather a bountiful harvest of sloes (the fruit of the blackthorn). However, perhaps the best thing…

It’s the same every year, but then that’s the point: selecting the tree is one of the Yuletide rituals that we inherit, faithfully re-enact, then pass on, safe in the knowledge that while all around us changes, Christmas is as it ever was. No matter whether you’re after a spruce, pine or fir, digging it up yourself or buying it at the garden centre, there’s that special moment when you’ve got it untangled from its cobwebby wrapping, chopped the top off because it was too tall for the room, and positioned it in the stand, all ready for embellishment. There you are, surrounded by boxes of baubles from the loft. You’ve tested the lights still work; now Christmas can begin. It’s time to make magic in the corner of your…

YOU MAY NEED... Napkins: bring out the cloth napkins and attempt some napery A tablecloth or a runner: now is the time to get one out if ever there was Table place names to make guests feel important A gravy boat to keep circulating once the turkey is sliced A sharp carving knife: to divvy up the turkey A cheeseboard to heap with wedges of Stilton and Cheddar A corkscrew to unstopper wine…

Save money with a subscription (12 issues a year) – now available on even more devices. Just click on the links below for details and prices. Share your simple things with us on Twitter @simplethingsmag #mysimplething CHOOSE YOUR APP AND DEVICE • Apple for iphone, ipad or ipod touch • Barnes & Noble for Nook • Google for Android devices and to view on your computer • Amazon for Kindle Fire and Android devices • Zinio for Apple, Android and Windows devices and to view on your computer • Press Reader for Apple, Android, Windows and Blackberry • Readbug article stream for iphone and ipad…

PICKLED WALNUTS A staple of Boxing Day spreads, the picked walnut was a Victorian special. They’re harvested before the shell forms, then cooked and marinated. They’ve recently made the leap from the buffet table to fashionable menus, suggesting they’re for life – not just Christmas. TRY IT: St John restaurant in London has a Christmas ‘Feasting’ menu that includes Hare Saddle, Beetroot & Pickled Walnut, stjohngroup.uk.com. BUY IT: it’s got to be the famous walnuts from opiesfoods.com. SEE IT: on our Tasty trend Pinterest board.…

The pine cone makes a great natural base for a bird feeder, with an open structure that’s just the thing for stuffing full of nutritious and delicious titbits for our feathered friends during harsh, wintry weather. 1 Collect medium to large pine cones. Don’t worry if they’re tightly closed – just bring them indoors for a few days or pop in the oven to encourage ‘blooming’. 2 Attach string to the tip of the pine cone, ready for hanging up. 3 Spread a layer of peanut butter, fat or suet over the cone, pressing in between the scales so it’s entirely covered. Place a mix of birdseed on a tray and roll the pine cone until well coated. Go for a general mix to encourage a variety of garden birds…

Emperor Penguin Far from featherweight, this is the heaviest and tallest of all penguins. Its girth is necessary to survive the freezing climes of Antarctica. King Penguin May be regal, but no airs and graces about this silver cloaked beauty – both parents share the day-to-day duties of caring for egg, then chick. Gentoo Penguin Identifiable from the longer tail and white patches above the eye, this real gent(oo) enjoys picking up stones and presenting them to females. Northern and Southern Rockhopper Penguin Small and feisty, with incredible eyebrows; the name refers to its style of movement rather than music preference, hopping from rock to rock. Macaroni Penguin Southern Ocean dweller, named after an 18th-century men’s style of feathered hat. A species in decline, hopefully they will never go out…

MAKES 18–20 500g piece of salmon, pin-boned and scaled (skin on) 1 tbsp grated fresh or preserved horseradish 175g crème fraîche 6–8 thin slices rye bread 50g butter Fresh dill or watercress, to serve BEETROOT CURE 2 raw beetroot (about 200g) 1 tsp pink peppercorns 1 tsp fennel seeds 1 tsp juniper berries 60g coarse sea salt 50g golden caster sugar Zest of 1 lemon Zest of ½ orange 2–3 tbsp freshly chopped dill 3 tbsp vodka A baking sheet lined with three layers of cling film 1To prepare the beetroot cure, peel and coarsely grate the beetroot into a large mixing bowl. Lightly crush the peppercorns, fennel seeds and juniper berries using a pestle and mortar. Add them to the bowl with the salt, sugar, citrus zests and half…

At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year. I put the card back on the mantelpiece. Christmas coming once a year is far too often, if you ask me. A load of nonsense, especially at my age. I carry my tea from the living room into the kitchen and stand for a while by the window, watching a goldcrest attack the bacon rind I left out this morning. A spread of frost has turned the lawn into a glittering carpet, my footsteps the only patches of green, and beyond the fence at the far end of the garden, grey clouds hang low in the sky like old washing. A quick inspection of the fridge reminds me that all I have to look forward to…