Globe -julkaisun May 6, 2019 -irtonumeron sisällysluettelo

WITH guns drawn and a canine cop ready to take a bite out of crime, Oregon police stormed a residence to confront an intruder cleaning out the joint — only to find a robotic vacuum doing a “very thorough” job! Washington County deputies responded to a call from a couple who believed someone was in their bathroom because they saw “a shadow moving around” from beneath the locked door. Body-cam footage shows the officers entering the home, with one shouting: “This is the police with a K-9. Come out now or you’re going to get bit!” But only after bursting into the washroom, cops discovered their target was not a man — but a machine. Upon seeing the renegade Roomba, a deputy joked: “There’s the bad guy.”…

Pro hoofers VAL CHMERKOVSKIY and JENNA JOHNSON danced down the aisle of their March 13 wedding at the Terranea Resort in Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif. The 200 guests included past Dancing with the Stars celebs RUMER WILLIS and ADAM RIPPON. It’s official! BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE are legally single. The actress even dropped his last name. But the warring couple is still fighting over money — so the divorce settlement isn’t final. The on-again, off-again romance between movie Batman BEN AFFLECK and SNL producer LINDSAY SHOOKUS is kaput. The pair say they want to focus on their kids from previous relationships. No surprise here! JOE DUGGAR, of the constantly multiplying 19 Kids and Counting reality clan, and wife KENDRA are expecting a second kid just ten months after son…

FULL House beauty Lori Loughlin is going off the deep end, friends say, as she faces decades behind bars if convicted in a college bribery scandal — and now they fear she’ll totally crack and end up in the loony bin! “Publicly, she appears to be calm and collected, but, privately, she is becoming completely unglued!” spills an insider. “She’s having a nervous breakdown because the gravity is finally starting to sink in and it’s become clear that she is going down to serious jail time.” The 54-year-old actress and her fatcat hubby, fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, were indicted on federal money laundering charges and accused of paying $500,000 in bribes to get their daughters, Olivia, 19, and Isabella, 20, into the University of Southern California as part of the…

WHOOPI GOLDBERG reunited with her co-hosts on The View last month after a lengthy absence caused by a near-fatal bout with pneumonia. But the 63-year-old star insists she’s on the mend as she returns full-time to the daytime chat fest. Here are ten things you don’t know about Whoopi. 1 Her lifelong love of Star Trek began in childhood after seeing Nichelle Nichols aboard the Starship Enterprise as Lt. Uhura. 2 She admits she was “homeless and addicted to heroin” as a teen. 3 Whoopi once worked as a phone sex operator. “When I was younger, the money was great,” she says. “Now, people would know my voice.” 4 She saw a therapist to overcome her fear of flying, which was sparked more than 30 years ago after she witnessed…

TERRIFIED Dynasty star Joan Collins survived a frightening brush with death when her posh London apartment burst into a roaring inferno and she was nearly knocked unconscious by the smoke. The 85-year-old television vamp praised her hero hubby, Percy Gibson, 54, for saving her — by courageously standing his ground in the face of the flames and dousing them with a handheld extinguisher. “They were both in the apartment. Joan smelled some smoke, and Percy went out to investigate. They discovered that the guest suite was on fire,” says her rep. “Percy had two of those fire extinguishers in the apartment, so he rushed in to start putting the fire out, and Joan called for the fire department to come. “Percy really saved the day. He was the one who…

LATE Beverly Hills, 90210 hunk Luke Perry was buried on his beloved Tennessee farm in an organic “mushroom suit” — so his decomposing body will nourish the soil! “The mushroom suit will turn Luke into clean compost,” says a pal. “This was one of Luke’s last wishes. He was always very ecologically minded!” Luke — who suffered a massive stroke at his home in Sherman Oaks, Calif., and died from complications on March 4 at age 52 — also generously donated several of his organs to others. His lungs, kidneys and liver all saved the lives of ailing people, but medical staffers couldn’t find a match for his heart. “It’s sad and ironic,” says the friend, “since everyone who knew Luke talked about what a big heart he had.”…

DRINK UP — wisely! It could be less harmful as you age! Heavy boozing is linked to a number of serious health risks. But a Boston Medical Center study found alcohol-related health issues were greatly influenced by age. According to the study authors, almost 40 percent of deaths due to alcohol consumption occur before the age of 50. But the over-65 group accounted for 50 percent of the years of life saved. What’s more, over the age of 65, 80 percent of the deaths were prevented by alcohol consumption. The authors concluded younger people “are more likely to die from alcohol consumption than they are to die from a lack of drinking,” but older people are more likely to experience the health benefits of moderate drinking.…

ANGRY academics have a bone to pick with an amateur fossil hunter who loaned a rare juvenile Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton to a museum — and then placed the “onein-100 million specimen” on the auction block! Alan Detrich says he and his brother unearthed the 68-million-year-old bones in 2013 on private land near Jordan, Mont. But Detrich, who’s not a trained paleontologist, adds he only lent the remains of the four-year-old T. rex — dubbed Son of Sampson — to University of Kansas’ Natural History Museum in 2017 because “the public ought to get to see it.” Now, the renegade researcher — who’s also known for making religious art out of dino fossils — has infuriated eggheads by offering the extinct animal’s bones on eBay for $2.95 million! Though the listing…

RUGGED ROCK HUDSON put the moves on ELIZABETH TAYLOR in 1956’s sprawling drama Giant — but it was all an act. The heartthrob actor was a closet homosexual! Hudson’s sizzling on-screen chemistry with the opposite sex left fans in disbelief when they learned after his death from AIDS in 1985 that he had a taste for men. Amazingly, tenderhearted Taylor — who passed away in 2011 — still held a flame for her late leading man and spearheaded an effort to cure the disease by raising $270 million for research!…

UH-OH! Chinese scientists spliced human genes into monkeys’ brains and created 11 super-smart rhesus macaques, who think faster, have better memories and mimic mankind more than the average simian. University of Colorado geneticist James Sikela warns the experiment “is a very risky road to take.” Brace for the Planet of the Apes! POWERBALL lottery queen Gloria MacKenzie, 90, is suing her son, Scott, and his financial advisor for costing her “tens of millions of dollars” by bungling investments using the $278 million she won in 2013. MacKenzie’s lawyer charges the Florida men are moochers living off the sickly old lady’s big score. Scott insists he did nothing wrong. He and the manager, who earned $2 million in fees, are fighting back in court. MAGAZINE writer Evan Osnos panicked when he…

FOXXY KATIE HEARING WEDDING BELLS! KATIE HOLMES believes she’s finally corralled JAMIE FOXX for marriage after the Django Unchained hunk gave her a key to his Hidden Hills, Calif., spread. Even SURI, her 12-year-old daughter with ex TOM CRUISE, has her own room. “This was a huge gesture on his part and a clear sign they’re headed towards an engagement,” blabs a source. Katie and Jamie hooked up shortly after her 2012 divorce from Tom, but saw each other on the sly. Even after coming out as a couple, he’s been spotted flirting with babes. But now, adds the source, “after six years of dating, Jamie could finally be ready to put a ring on her finger!” BEYONCÉ IS JUST TOO RUDE Superstar BEYONCÉ is driving pals off in droves…

MODERN FAMILY’S Ariel Winter says her recent surprising slim down stems from switching antidepressants! The 21-year-old actress explains, “The change in THEN medication instantly made me drop all of the weight I couldn’t lose before by just giving me back a metabolism.” But the increasingly slender sitcom cutie doesn’t want to totally ditch her famous curves! “I want to gain a few pounds of muscle and get healthier,” admits Ariel, who adds, “I also want my butt back.”…

PORKY This Is Us star Chrissy Metz has ballooned to 403 pounds — and pals are begging the tub-o-lard to slim down! “Chrissy can hardly walk a red carpet without breaking a sweat and she tires very easily,” dishes an insider. “There’s a genuine fear she’s putting herself at risk of a heart attack — and friends are urging her to lose 100 pounds, at least!” The five-foot-five actress’ extra bulk nearly ruined her live singing debut with Carrie Underwood and other stars at April’s Academy of Country Music Awards! “Chrissy seemed short of breath and appeared to be struggling to keep tempo,” says the insider. “She has a beautiful voice, but she gets so breathless when she sings that people fear she could pass out. “Her dream of becoming…

ARIES March 21 - April 20 Oh dear, Saturn’s clash with Venus brings a major disappointment that really gets you down, Ram. But before getting too discouraged, just know excellent news is on its way, arriving by the weekend. Efforts to quit that bad habit — you know the one! — get a solid boost. A pal’s new recipe is a hit. GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Romance heats up under the Taurus sun and a tepid relationship could reach a boil. For some Twins this means a marriage proposal. A friend asks you to join him or her on a last-minute trip out of town but check the calendar first — don’t forget the promise you made months ago. The number 3 is lucky now! LEO July 23…

BLABBERMOUTH Carly Simon is going to sing like a canary about her famously private pal Jackie Kennedy Onassis! Carly — who topped the charts in 1972 with You’re So Vain — is writing Touched by the Sun, an “intimate, vulnerable” tell-all about the former first lady, which will be released Oct. 22, according to publisher Farrar, Straus and Giroux. The 73-year-old hitmaker promises to dish about her “improbable, but lasting friendship” with “mischievous” Jackie, who died at 64 in 1994. I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blond.—Dolly Parton…

FORMER frump Caroline Manzo has a shocking new look — after dropping 20 pounds and getting a “life-changing” face-lift! The Real Housewives of New Jersey alum says she began plotting her makeover around New Year’s Eve, when she was “probably the heaviest” she’d ever been. “The first thing I started to take control of was my weight,” the 57-year-old recalls. The glam grandma says she’s “basically a vegetarian now,” but admits her weight loss had left her with a flabby “turkey neck” — which was repaired by the same doc who did her tummy tuck 18 years ago! “I could cry thinking about it. It really brought my headspace to a whole different place,” says Manzo, who on May 20 will make her debut as co-host on Lifetime’s The Balancing…

GREAT Balls of Fire! movie hunk Dennis Quaid and country wildcat Tanya Tucker are making beautiful music together — in and out of the recording studio! Would-be singer Dennis, 65, has been hoping to boost his music career by having Tanya, 60, wail a tune he penned for her upcoming country album, insiders dish. But the actor and the Texas Tornado have also been inseparable outside the recording studio, hitting the party scene and red carpet events. “Dennis calls Tanya a real firecracker who keeps him laughing — and Tanya admits she’s had a crush on him almost since the day they met!” dishes a friend. “It’s really blossoming into something romantic.” In January, the pair showed up at a Kris Kristofferson concert in L.A. On April 1, they attended…

CATWOMAN Eartha Kitt’s claws came out when she suspected Jackée Harry was bedding her beau, claims the Sister, Sister star, who says the late Batman vixen attacked her! “Eartha Kitt slapped the f%#! outta me,” Jackée tweeted. “She thought I was sleeping with her boyfriend, which I was, but I didn’t know he was taken.” Though Jackée didn’t name the “dual piano ‘playa,’ ” she joked: “We didn’t know he was going to tickle both of our keys.”…

DYING Ryan O’Neal is secretly trying to sell Andy Warhol’s portrait of his late former love Farrah Fawcett for a whopping $18 million. “He is quietly trying to unload his Warhol portrait,” dishes a source. “He wanted $20 million, but it’s now marked down to $18 million.” The portrait of the Charlie’s Angels beauty was painted by Warhol in 1980. He gifted the work to Farrah — who died of cancer at age 62 in 2009 — and Ryan, her lover for 26 years. The University of Texas, her alma mater, claimed she’d willed the painting to the school, but the Love Story hunk, 78, won a bitter Now court fight to keep it. the Tinseltown Romeo, who suffers from leukemia and prostate cancer, wants to cash in instead of…

DEBORAH NORVILLE is recovering at home following successful thyroid cancer surgery — after a sharp-eyed viewer reached out to the Inside Edition host about a weird-looking lump on her neck! Though Deborah, 60, says the warning came “a long time ago,” she announced last month docs who had been monitoring her determined the suspect nodule was cancerous and needed to go. Deborah admits she was “scared to death” before the procedure, but swears she’s now “feeling stronger every day.”…