Chat -julkaisun 24-May-2018 -irtonumeron sisällysluettelo

Tearing open the prison-issue envelope, my hands shook. This could be it, I thought. Only, as I read the reams of poetry scrawled across lined paper, my heart sank. It was early 1998 and, yet again, Michael Guider hadn’t admitted anything. I sighed, flopping down into my chair, disappointed. I can’t keep doing this, I thought, rubbing my temples. Yet I was determined to find out the truth... I’d first met Michael Guider back in 1993. He was an amateur archaeologist, I was an environmental activist. Every couple of months, we’d team up to map Aboriginal sites in Sydney. He was always smart and clean-shaven. Clever, too. We’d chat, usually about our work. In February 1996, I tried to call Guider and arrange a meet-up. He worked as a hospital…

Wrapping my dressing gown over my PJs, I switched off the light and shot into bed. Then froze as my hubby Alistair, 32, snuggled up to me. ‘Not tonight, darling,’ I said. I’d been saying that for a year. Ali rolled away and started to snore, while I lay in the dark, eyes blurred with tears. When we’d first met online in April 2007, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. And on our honeymoon in St Lucia, in March 2010, we were like teenagers. I’d never been slim, though – at school, bullies called me Titanic. With a mutual love of takeaways and pizzas, we’d both piled on weight. It didn’t seem to affect Ali’s sex drive, though. But a size-22 and 18st, I hated my body. I…

Scaly solution Q When I'm stressed, I get dandruff and scaly red skin down my forehead and the sides of my nose. Why? Mila, 27 A Sounds like seborrheic dermatitis, inflamed skin due to a yeast infection which can be worse when you're stressed or run down. Ask your chemist for antifungal shampoo and cream, and use moisturiser. Your GP might suggest a mild steroid cream or scalp lotion. What a drip! Q I had catarrh and a cough which the GP says is a postnasal drip. What is that? Pam, 52 A Repeated colds and flu, or allergy, cause excess mucus, which drips down the back of your throat causing irritation and a cough. Treatment depends on the cause but might mean stopping smoking, steroid nose sprays, antihistamine tablets…

Keep ’em clean! It's so simple to turn reusable fabric bags into aprons that are a perfect size for littl'uns cooking or painting. Cut off the handles and sew on as ties - or use some ribbon. Margaret Dinsdale, Holystone The perfect sandwich  To make sure your sandwich filling fits perfectly, cut sliced meat in half and lay the flat sides against the crust. Karen Dickens, Leighton Buzzard Coffee to candles  Some coffee jars have lids that make perfect tealight holders. They look stylish - and they're cheap! Robyn Mason, Porth No more spills  Avoid kids' drinks spilling - cover cups with clingfilm and use a straw. It works well outdoors, too, to stop flies getting in. Amy Moreno, Edinburgh Minimal mess Keep your butter container nice and clean by…

Serves: 12 Prep: 40 min Cook: 25 min Cost per serving: 71p 1 Melt 25g butter in a small pan. Crush 8 digestives, then mix with the butter and 25g golden syrup in a bowl. Divide between 12 cupcake cases in a cupcake tin and press down. 2 Heat oven to 180C/ Gas 4. Combine 250ml sour cream, 350g cream cheese, 1 egg, 10g plain flour, zest of a lemon, juice of half a lemon and another 50g golden syrup in a bowl. Use a hand blender to blitz until smooth. 3 Spoon mixture into the cases and bake for 15-20 min to set the cheesecakes. Remove, cool for 30 min, then carefully transfer to cool completely on a wire rack. 4 In a small pan, combine juice of half…

The ad would celebrate love – in all its forms Watching the beautiful woman on the dance floor, I was mesmerised. I’d known of Molly, then 21, for about six months – we were both professional dancers for stage and music videos, and moved in the same circles. In September 2015, I got a chance to actually speak to her. We’d gone to the same audition in London and, afterwards, a group of us went for drinks. ‘I’ve seen you around, you’re an amazing dancer,’ I said. We got on so well. Before we knew it, we were going on our first date. Bonding over a coffee before a dance class together, my heart fluttered. Within a few weeks, we were officially a couple. I loved Molly’s confidence, how we…

PLONKER! When the police stopped a driver near King's Lynn, Norfolk, they found he had no valid licence or insurance. After the police seized the man's car, he then produced a licence stating he was Del Boy Trotter from Only Fools and Horses . The police saw the funny side - and even tweeted with a couple of Del Boy's favourite faux-French phrases: #BonnetDeDouche everybody, not even this #Plonkers fake driving licence could stop their car being seized. BEAN THERE… Baked-bean bonkers Barry Kirk is so keen on the tinned treat that he's opened a museum devoted to his preferred pulses and changed his name by deed poll to Captain Beany. In January 2009, he opened the Baked Bean Museum of Excellence - now the…

Blinking my eyes open, I saw fluorescent strip lights shining brightly above my head. At my bedside, my daughters Gemma, 29, and Becki, 27, were in tears. Then there was my hubby, Steve, 59, his usual smile replaced by a furrowed brow. ‘Oh, Mum!’ Becki sobbed. I could see from their faces something bad had happened. But what? My brain was in a total fog. I’d no idea where I was, how I’d got there, or what’d happened to me. Looking down, I saw my hands were swathed in bandages. Muddled, confused, I stared blankly at my worried family. There was no pain. Just complete and utter confusion. Over the next few days, my daughters, Steve, and the doctors tried to fill in the missing pieces. Nine weeks of them...…

Bloom Collection Mandarin and Lime Basil Eau De Toilette, £5, Superdrug  Saving you a whopping £40 compared to the designer alternative, this unusual scent smells really fresh. Sunset Fantasy Britney Spears, £20, Superdrug An update on the original fantasy perfume, this is really fruity with plenty of zesty citrus and sweet vanilla top notes. Avon Eve Confidence Eau De Parfum, £14, avon.uk.com A mood-boosting fragrance designed to help you feel more confident. This is really uplifting and perfect at the end of a busy week. Autograph Sheer Radiance Eau de Parfum, £22, M&S This feminine fragrance has zingy pepper for a bit of an edge. Eau de parfum lasts longer than EDT - so it's worth splashing out on.…

We settled on a name: it means ‘living one’ in Hebrew The first time I heard her heartbeat at my 16-week scan, I cried. ‘That’s our baby!’ my partner Ross, 32, said. I could feel my own heart racing, I was so excited. Then last April, when I was 23 weeks, I started to bleed. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked at Basildon University Hospital. ‘It looks like you have a low-lying placenta. It’s normal and your baby is fine,’ I was told. But the bleeding continued – and, from 24 weeks, I was in and out of hospital. By Easter weekend last year, the bleeding had stopped but I felt a trickling down my leg. But it wasn’t blood! ‘That can’t be my waters, I’m not due for another three months!’…

Slumped on the sofa, I had nothing to do. ‘I’m bored,’ I groaned. It was July 2006, I was 6, and the school holidays had just started. My big sisters – Sarah, then 12, Katie, 14, and Emma, 16 – were out with their mates. ‘Why don’t we go to mine and play on my Xbox?’ my neighbour, Ricky, then 16, suggested. Ricky O’Grady lived across the street. He was always popping over. With four daughters, my dad, then 29, loved having a boy around. In fact, we all loved Ricky. ‘Please can I go, Dad?’ I begged him. ‘Just be back before Mum gets home,’ Dad said. Ricky and I were soon engrossed in a game in his front room. When... ‘Martine,’ Ricky said. ‘I need you to help…

We’d lost so much – focusing on this helped us through Putting the first test aside, I did another – watched, waited... But there it was again! Positive. ‘Aaron!’ I cried. ‘We’re having a baby!’ My boyfriend’s face lit up. ‘That’s fantastic,’ he grinned. It was November 2016, we’d been together four years and were buying our first house. We’d bought a new-build next door to my mum Julie, 57. ‘I can’t wait to tell her,’ I said. Our baby news was a ray of happiness in what’d been a horrible year. My dad Kevin had a heart transplant at the beginning of 2016. It’d gone well and tests showed no signs of rejection. Dad was back home with Mum and we’d even booked a family holiday to celebrate. But,…

He’d chew his tongue until bits actually fell off Placing my newborn son Dexter in my arms, the midwife beamed. ‘He’s perfectly healthy,’ she smiled. It was August 2013, and I gazed adoringly at my son’s beautiful little face. ‘Welcome to the family,’ my husband Tom, then 31, said, stroking Dexter’s chubby cheek. We settled into family life, even relishing night feeds and nappy changes! But, at 6 weeks, Dexter collapsed after waking up for a feed. Terrified, we rushed him straight to Bristol Royal Hospital for Children, where doctors confirmed he had a mild case of hypothermia. His temperature had dropped to 33C, it should have been 37C. How had I not noticed? I thought. Doctors suggested I hadn’t been wrapping him up properly. I was racked with guilt.…

Arriving at the local beach, I was bubbling with excitement. ‘One week to go,’ I grinned at my fiance Adrian, 52. It was a lovely evening in August 2016, so we’d headed to the seaside for a stroll. And in just six days we’d be jetting off to Florida for our wedding, along with 14 family members and friends. I followed Adrian as he walked to the seafront. Only we had to climb down a steep, grassy hill. Standing on the verge, I wavered. ‘It’s OK, I’m here,’ Adrian said. Crouching, I rested my hand on his shoulder, took a huge step down. But as my foot hit the ground, I slipped. Went crashing down, landing hard on my left shoulder. ‘Ouch!’ I cried. In agony, I couldn’t get up.…

THE CRIME Brittany Monk was sexually abused by her mother's ex, Robert Noce, for eight terrible years. Finally, aged 17, she found the courage to go to the police. But, when the courts failed to deliver justice, Brittany took the law into her own hands - with catastrophic consequences... THE STORY Life got off to a grim start for little Brittany Monk. She was just 4 years old when her mother walked out of the family home, leaving the child to be raised by her former partner Robert Noce. Brittany should have been safe in their home in Zachary, Louisiana. After all, Noce had a daughter, too – a playmate for her. But it was the start of eight years of hell for little Brittany, as Noce began to sexually…

Steve gripped my bandaged hand, and the girls sobbed as the news hit us. I’d lose both my hands and my legs. I’d been a hairdresser for years, loved baking, being creative. It was hard to imagine not having hands. Never mind losing my legs. ‘You can eventually get prosthetics...’ the doctor started. But I didn’t need convincing. Even in my muddled state, I knew I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to survive. It was life – or limbs. ‘If it’ll save my life, get on with it,’ I said bluntly. By now my hands were so black, they hung from my wrists like dead weights. I couldn’t sign a consent form for quadruple amputation, so Gemma did it on my behalf. I was transferred to Bedford Hospital…

After eight hours, the jury found Ronald Gasser, 56, not guilty of murder, but guilty of the lesser charge of manslaughter. On 15 March this year, Judge Ellen Shirer Kovach sentenced him to 30 years in prison. ‘Let this be a cautionary tale for all drivers,’ she said. McKnight’s sister Johanna and mother Jennifer wept as the sentence was declared. ‘To you, it might have seemed like an insignificant life to take, but it wasn’t,’ said Jennifer. Meanwhile, this March, Gasser’s lawyers filed paperwork to appeal the conviction and to request a reduction in Gasser’s sentence.…

There was a knock at the front door and I ran to open it. Standing in the doorway was a tall, slim man with greying hair. It was my dad Carlos – and I hadn’t seen him in almost 12 months. Aged 8, I lived alone with my mum – and Dad only visited once a year. ‘He lives in Italy,’ Mum always told me. ‘That’s why we don’t see him often.’ I just accepted it. My father was a lot older than my mother. He was always smartly dressed and would often bring me a bar of chocolate. ‘Is this from Italy, Uncle?’ I’d ask him, amazed. Yes, that’s right… Uncle. Because he didn’t allow me to call him Dad. One time, he was reading a newspaper and I…

Beef burgers Asda Extra Special 4 Sea Salt & Black Pepper Beef Burgers, 454g, £3 (75p per burger) The seasoning adds a great flavour plus the meat is really juicy and tender. Tesco Finest 4 Beef Steak Burgers 454g, £3 (75p per burger) Nice texture, lightly seasoned, good-quality meat. M&S 2 BBQ Grill 2 Ultimate Steak Burgers 340g, £4 (£2 per burger) Extra-large and with a great flavour and texture - the most like a homemade burger. NEW Co-op 4 Rainbow Uni-cones £1.69  A trendy twist on a classic treat. Swirls of vanilla and raspberry ice cream, topped with rainbow sprinkles and paired with a contrasting black wafer cone.…

I sat nervously as he inked in the lines on my ankle Clutching my phone, I swiped furiously through Facebook. ‘There’s got to be something here!’ I said to my hubby Shane, 29. I was desperate. It was this January, and I was determined to find a video clip from my mum Leslie. Mum and I had been so close. But in December 2015, Mum had to take time off work after falling and hurting her hip. One morning, she texted me. I’m just stressed about money, sweetheart, but don’t worry about me. Everything will work out fine, I replied. See you soon, love you. Only later, my phone rang –it was my Aunt Bonnie, 70, who lived with Mum. ‘Your mum’s collapsed!’ she cried. My stomach churned. She’d only…

I waited… Then as my last number was called, I shrieked! Working long hours in a bar – there’s nothing that I like more than coming home and putting my feet up and sometimes I play a few games of bingo. Gary, 52, and I have enjoyed playing bingo over the years. We used to have time to visit the bingo halls but, these days, with our grandchildren and busy jobs, it’s a real rarity. Now we play Chat Mag Bingo and love that we can play from the comfort of our home. The site has lots of games – bingo as well as slots, and you can play on your mobile. Flicking the switch on the kettle, turning the telly on and loading up the laptop – we’re good…

Serves: 4 Prep: 15 min Cook: 25 min Cost per serving: £1.02 1 Heat oven to 180C. Cut a cauliflower into bite-size florets. In a bowl, combine 100g plain flour and 25g cornflour. Season, then add 125ml cold water and mix to form a thin batter. 2 Tip 400g fine breadcrumbs into another mixing bowl. First dip cauliflower florets in batter to coat, then in breadcrumbs a few at a time, ensuring each floret is evenly covered. 3 Put the coated cauli on a large baking tray and cook in the oven for 25 min until golden and crisp. 4 Transfer cauliflower from the oven into a mixing bowl and pour in a 260g bottle of spicy BBQ sauce, such as Jack Daniel's Extra Hot Habanero Barbecue Sauce, tossing well…

One of Scotland’s most ancient landmarks, Melrose Abbey, sits in a picturesque town close to the English border. These days, Melrose is a popular destination for tourists, fishermen and hikers. The town was even voted the best place to live in Scotland earlier this year. But, hundreds of years ago, in the 12th century, the town was struck by a bloodthirsty terror... Back then, Melrose Abbey had only recently been built, but was already one of the wealthiest monasteries in Scotland. During this period, a notorious monk – known as the Hundeprest, meaning ‘dog priest’ – lived there. His real name is unknown but it’s thought he was given this nickname because his favourite pastime was hunting on horseback, with a pack of snarling dogs. But bloodlust wasn’t the dog…

With my hands shaking, I stared at the two blue lines. ‘But I can’t be pregnant,’ I cried to my mum Aileen, 47. It was October 2014 and I was still recovering from a fierce battle with breast cancer. I’d been diagnosed at 23, with a baby girl, Baylee, then 7 months old. After a year of chemotherapy and a double mastectomy, I’d got the all clear, thankfully. But the treatment had ravaged my body, stolen my hair. Doctors had warned me that it would take my fertility, too. I’d been heartbroken. Only now, gawping at the positive test, I was overjoyed. ‘Wonderful!’ Mum beamed. ‘It’s definitely a boy,’ I said and stocked up on blue bootees. This baby was a ray of sunshine after my cancer battle. At 20…

Aries 21 March - 20 April The dust is settling after recent work upheavals. Life is calmer. There’s a small problem to resolve in your personal life, but it’s not a big issue… Or so you think! But it’s actually not that simple - as you’ll find out! Call 0905 817 0690* for more Taurus 21 April - 21 May You hear about something new and exciting - but think you’d never be able to do anything like that. Then you research it and talk to people about it and realise it IS possible. So, if it’s what you want to do, why not? Call 0905 817 0691* for more Gemini 22 May - 21 June Someone wants to tell you how to do a job properly. But you’ve been…