Chat -julkaisun August 20, 2015 -irtonumeron sisällysluettelo

They’d fallen out. And I can’t say, deep down, I wasn’t pleased. 'Listen, love,’ I told my daughter Stacey, then 35. 'I don’t think you should have anything more to do with him.’ It was January 2012. Stacey hadn’t been able to see her mate Terry much over Christmas because she’d been busy with other things. But she’d phoned him to say sorry she’d been tied up. Terry hadn’t liked it. Don t f***ing bother getting in touch with me again, he’d texted. 'Friends don’t do that to each other,’ I told her. 'Please don’t text him back or speak to him.’ Stacey agreed. Which was a relief. To be honest, I’d never liked Terry Armer. Not since the moment I’d first set eyes on him. They’d met several months…

Wearing his summer biker jacket, my partner Martyn, 45, trudged into the kitchen holding his motorcycle helmet. 'Just going for a ride, love,’ he called out. 'Have fun,’ I told him. Martyn had been riding motorbikes for years and loved heading out for a spin. He was careful, though – a good driver, so I never worried. But, later that day, in July last year, while I was at a dance class for our daughter Maya, 10, I got a call. It was from Sussex Police. 'We need to speak to you. Stay where you are,’ they said. Blood drained from my face as I waited. Why did they want to speak to me? Officers arrived minutes later, and I left Maya with her friend’s mum. 'Martyn’s been in an…

Little imp What a cheeky grin my daughter Jessica, 1, is giving us! It's the one that always makes me smile. Emma Careless, Bedford Dear hunter Dylan, my 4-month-old son, is definitely underwhelmed by his new hat! Becky Ingram, Caldicot Mug shot Here's my funny little daughter Phoebe, 3, showing off her ‘old lady having a brew' look! Caroline Marsden, Nantwich Nap-in-the-box! After playing for hours with his empty cardboard box, my son Ethan, 2, decided to turn it into a bed. Amanda Mewse, Nottingham Fashion fail! My 3-month-old daughter Marissa seems shocked to discover that her mum might not be a fashion expert after all… Alisha Beardmore, Stoke-on-Trent MY CUTE BABY PIC This was his first experience of soft play and, as you can see, my 7-month-old son Toby…

Skin abscess This is a painful collection of pus, usually caused by a bacterial infection. An abcess usually appears as a swollen, pus-filled lump under the surface of the skin. Small abscesses may drain naturally or shrink on their own. But larger ones could require antibiotics. WE TRIED & LIKED Puressentiel Articulations Priced at £14.99, this Muscles & Joints Roller aims to soothe strained bits before and after exercise. It contains 14 essential oils and can be used to treat general aches and pains. SWAP & SEE Switch milk chocolate for dark chocolate for less sugar. Research suggests that dark chocolate containing more than 60 per cent cocoa could have several health benefits, including lowering blood pressure. However, even dark chocolate is high in fat, so eat in moderation.…

Welcome! It’s NEW! And it’s BRILLIANT! www.lifedeathprizes.com is the website you’ve been waiting for... Fancy a telly quiz with your cuppa? We’ve got it! Can’t get enough of the weirdest, wackiest real-life stories? Look no further! Want the detail behind shocking worldwide crime? It’s here! But THAT’S NOT ALL... Celebs before they were famous, smiling monkeys, reasons to scoff chocolate and have sex simultaneously... ALL ON ONE WEBSITE! You’ll NEVER be bored again! WHY PUGS ARE THE BEST EVER! Known as the clowns of the canine world, learn some cool facts about these quirky little dogs. THE BIG 90s TELLY QUIZ! From Absolutely Fabulous to Waiting For God, see how much you remember from a decade of classic TV shows. Be warned, though, it’s not as easy as it sounds...…

Swap…Scampi, chips and peas…1,055 cal For…Grill plaice, chips and peas…785 cal Diet bites Slim and healthy Weight Watchers Jamaican Jerk Chicken curry with rice, £2.57, Morrisons Nothing spells summer like spicy and fragrant Jerk Chicken. And it's just 346 cal! Tipple-free treat Natur Boutique Diet Tea, £2.99, Holland & Barrett This fruity blend of a tropical berry, Garcinia Cambogia, along with green tea, java tea and liquorice, is said to help to reduce appetite and fat levels. £50 What worked for you? I'll pay a full-fat £50 if I use your weight-loss story. Write to me, enclosing before and after pictures at: Losing It, Chat, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London SE1 0SU, or e-mail me: christine.parsons@timeinc.com…

If you'd like help with a problem, write to: Ingrid, Chat, Blue Fin Building, 110 Southwark Street, London SE OSU, or e-mail ask-ingrid@timeinc.com Sorry, Ingrid cannot reply personally. With support, your mum will be able to stop living in the past. Mum just wants to die Q After my stepdad deserted poor Mum, it's like she's living in the past. She's surrounded by old photo albums, remembering happy times they shared. She thinks she's ready to die. She's only 67 and still healthy, but it's like she's just given up. How can I make her see she's still got so much to live for? Yelena, 42 A Don't think about her as ‘Poor Mum', but be more positive for her. Her GP will be able to help with her depression,…

We've teamed up with online fashion brand Lavitta to offer Chat readers the chance to win £100 to spend at Lavitta.co.uk Selling dresses and separates in sizes 12 to 24, Lavitta's clothes are designed to flatter and fit real women, offering quality at prices ranging from just £10 to £40. With a stunning new Autumn/Winter collection that incorporates this season's hottest trends, you can afford to look great for less! To celebrate the brand's launch, you can also get 20 per cent off online purchases by entering the code CHAT0020 at the checkout. So for your chance to win £100 to spend at Lavitta.co.uk you'd better get puzzling! • Prize vouchers must be used by 31 December 2015. For the 20 per cent offer, enter the code CHAT0020 at the…

Whiffy worries Q I've started to smell - even my friends have commented! Could it be because I've been taking antidepressants? Sophie, 38 A Some drugs can change the way you smell, and antidepressants are the most common culprits. It's partly because they increase sweating, so keep cool and shower every day. Otherwise, a change of antidepressant should help. Burst cyst QI was out walking and felt an excruciating pain in my calf. My doctor diagnosed a burst Baker's cyst. How can I cure it? Ann, 68 A Give it time. It's a fluid-filled swelling at the back of your knee, usually the result of joint damage from osteoarthritis. If it bursts, it causes pain and a swollen calf, but it's harmless. Your symptoms will settle, though if you're unlucky…

Driving myself across the finish line, I felt exhilarated.. 'I did it!’ I beamed. I’d just completed my local 10k Town and Gown race. I was bursting with pride. See, at 70 and in an electric wheelchair, it was an amazing achievement. But I also have muscular dystrophy (MD) – a condition that causes progressive weakening of the muscles and muscle wastage. Confined to a wheelchair, I’d been living with it for 50 years... I was in my teens when symptoms started. Pain in my arms, struggling to get up the stairs, tiredness… 'I don’t know what’s wrong with me,’ I’d sighed to my parents, frustrated. I’d put it down to stress. At 17, I married and had three kids – Paul, Carolyn and Les. With three littl’uns to look…

Asda Iced Lemon Madeira Cake, 98p We thought that because they all look the same, these cakes would taste it, too - but they don't! This one has a light sponge and a delicate lemon flavour. Tesco Lemon Iced Madeira Cake, £1.15 We liked the fresh lemon-flavoured icing and filling. The sponge is both moist and dense - just as Madeira should be. Sainsbury's Iced Lemon Madeira Cake, 300g, £1 Our favourite, both for the light-as-air sponge and lots of strong lemon flavours. Rich and satisfying, just cut as big a slice as you fancy! Burts Devon Roast Beef crisps, £1, Lidl There's no need to wait until the weekend for a meaty treat, as now you can tuck into the taste of a Sunday roast any time! We love…

‘A drop of rain could kill me’ When Emily passed out in the sea, doctors had shocking news for her... She was lucky to be alive. Learn how her rare condition has meant living a normal life is virtually impossible – she can’t even get wet in the rain. Addicted to eating bricks and mud! While the rest of his family are tucking into delicious homemade dishes, this man eats 2kg of mud and gravel – plus a whole brick – every day! Find out what makes him do it, and why he hopes it might bring him fame and fortune. The bravest girl on three wheels! Charlotte might look like any other happy little girl with a new bicycle–but you wouldn’t know from her beautiful smile that her family…

I’ve always really enjoyed playing bingo. In my younger years, I loved a good night out with my mates down the local bingo hall. But when I moved to a small village, and the bingo hall wasn’t as convenient to get to. Then I spotted an advert about playing it online. I signed up and was soon having fun. With four young grandkids, I’m often babysitting for my daughter Victoria, 37. They keep me busy – but I wouldn’t have it any other way! But when I have some me-time, it’s nice to relax with a game of Chat Mag Bingo. I enjoy the Daily Play Games, which all members can play after they’ve made their first deposit. My favourite is Tiki’s Catch of the Day, where you have the…

It was a Sunday in June 2012 and we’d been out shopping for holiday bits. But back home that evening, I started getting pains in my left arm. 'It’s agony,’ I complained to my husband Paul, 60. With me never being one to grumble, Paul realised that something wasn’t right, so he called NHS Direct. An ambulance was sent, and I was taken to hospital. There, doctors diagnosed muscle spasms and sent me home with painkillers. Next day, Paul, our son Matthew, now 19, my mum Anne, now 69, and I headed off on holiday to Southport, as planned. Bad idea! As the days wore on, the pain in my arm got steadily worse. By the Thursday, I couldn’t take any more. 'Can we go home?’ I begged Paul. The…

Leo 24 July - 23 Aug Love is in the air - but although the opportunity is there, neither of you seem too eager to get involved. Maybe it’s because you already know each other, and you can see how it’ll all end - but prowling around each other like a couple of lions in the same cage, keeping your distance, is still quite fun. • Call 0905 817 0694* for more Virgo 24 Aug - 23 Sep You always work best when there’s lots of information to go on, like some helpful instructions, or a map. This week you have to take a leap into the unknown, doing a deal with an uncertain outcome, and no previous experience to go on. Actually, it’s a lot easier than you think:…

'Ladies, it’s been a top night,’ I said, finishing my wine. 'But I’m done!’ It was Friday 12 June this year. Me and the girls were on a weekend in Dublin for our mate Colette’s 48th. There were six of us, including me, Colette and my cousin Julie, 47. We’d been friends for as long as any of us could remember, ever since school. Now we all had families, jobs, commitments, but we saw each other as much as possible. So when Colette had seen a cheap deal for Dublin, we’d leapt at it. We flew in on the Friday, dumped our bags at the hotel and headed straight out. And where else but Dublin’s famous Temple Bar area? It’d been a right laugh. We’d even got chatting to a…

1 Mix a crushed clove of garlic with grated zest of 2 lemons, a squeeze of lemon juice and a handful of freshly chopped parsley. Season with salt and pepper. 2 Bring a pan of salted water to boil, add 200g broccoli florets and cook for 2-3 min until tender. Remove and set aside. Bring water back to the boil, add 400g pasta shapes and cook as pack instructs. 3 Heat 1tbsp butter in a frying pan, add 2 chopped courgettes and cook over a high heat for 3-4 min until starting to brown. Tip in broccoli and cook for 1 more min until warmed through. 4 Drain pasta, reserving 2tbsp water, add pasta and water to pan with veg and lemon and garlic mixture. Mix well and serve drizzled…

I was 18 when I got my first tattoo. I’d always been the creative type. And, whenever I saw people with tatts, I’d admire them in awe. So I got a ship inked on my chest. I only wanted a small one. 'In case I don’t like it,’ I told my pals. Yet when it was finished, I was delighted. 'I love it!’ I beamed, thrilled. So much so, I couldn’t wait to get back in the chair for my second tattoo – just two days later. This time, I had a panther on my arm. And, from then on, I was totally hooked! I got at least one tattoo done a month. Over time, big and bold-coloured shapes covered my skin. And I’d gradually started getting piercings, too. It…

Sex troubles Q My boyfriend's penis doesn't fit into my vagina properly. Help! Rebecca, 22 A It's unlikely that you're too small - your vagina can stretch to pass a baby's head! Could be you're tense, your boyfriend's not managing a complete erection or your technique isn't right. Use lube, relax and ask about counselling. STI concerns Q There's cheesy stuff on the helmet of my partner's penis when his foreskin pulls back. He says he's been checked... Allie, 25 A Chances are it's smegma, a collection of dead skin and fluid from oil-making glands on the skin. It's harmless, though is a sign that he should pull back his foreskin and wash every day! If there's a smell or discharge, shoo him off to his doctor. Now see the…

My son Jason and I had always been close. I lived alone, but he’d always come round for a takeaway and to watch telly. 'Mmmm, my favourite,’ he’d say, cheekily scoffing all the prawn crackers as we put on a DVD. He phoned me every day for a natter, too. But, on 19 December 2010, I hadn’t heard from him. Strange, I thought. Ringing his mobile, there was no answer. Maybe he’d had a big night out… Still, it didn’t make sense. He’d have at least sent a text. 'I’m going to his place,’ I told my daughter, Sue, then 35. I had a key, so I let myself in. But nothing could’ve prepared me for what I saw when I went upstairs… Jason was slumped in bed, cold. I…

Lifting my arm in the air, I winced in pain. 'I think I’ve pulled a muscle,’ I moaned to my boyfriend Matthew, then 23. I worked as a carer and it was quite a physical job. But over the next week, the pain got worse, not better. Soon I could hardly move my arm. And there was a hard lump under my armpit. 'It might be an abscess,’ my GP said. He prescribed antibiotics, referred me to New Cross Hospital to have it drained. I went alone. 'I’ll be fine,’ I smiled to Matthew. But at the hospital, I was in agony. 'I think it’s something more,’ I admitted to my consultant. Agreeing, he referred me to a specialist. Over the next months I had endless tests. A biopsy, blood…

We were both on the cuddly side when we met in a pub in Glasgow in 2003. Bryan weighed over 15st and I was about 11st. Fast forward a few years and we’d married, and had our little boy Jamie. But that wasn’t the only thing that’d changed... Our waistlines had, too. I’d grown to almost 15st myself and Bryan must’ve been over 20st. Happy, we never really talked about the pounds we’d piled on. Until February 2010, when I went into hospital to have my gallbladder removed. I’d had problems with gallstones for a while. 'It’s down to poor diet,’ the doctor had said. They even ummed and ahhed about whether I’d be allowed keyhole surgery because of my weight. I had it in the end, but the truth…

How I lost it! As young as 11, I'd get up early, raid the kitchen and hide to binge on anything I could find - crisps, biscuits - I'd even make sandwiches! Then, later on, I'd appear for breakfast. During my teens, I was about 18st, but I played lots of sport, so that k ept my weight level. Then, in November 2013, my sister got engaged, and I was to be a bridesmaid. I weighed over 23st. I'd been a size-24 bridesmaid for my other sister , and I wasn't going to let that happen again! So, in January last year , I began the Lighterlife Total programme . With four food packs a day totalling 600 cal, I didn't have to think about food, and they offered counselling.…

Nivea Sun After Sun Bronze Tan Prolonging Lotion, £5, Boots Contains a natural pro-melanin extract for a lasting tan. Top tip: Let it sink in for 10 minutes before you dress. Asda Protect After Sun Lotion with Shimmer, £2.50, Asda Leaves skin with a lovely shimmer - great for evenings. Top tip: Using plenty of after sun will help to prevent skin peeling. Hawaiian Tropic After Sun Creme Island Mango, £5.99, www. fragrancedirect.co.uk Soothes and hydrates, with a gorgeous, summery smell. Top tip: Apply every day after sun exposure. Tesco Soleil Suncare Aftersun Soothing Spray + Added Insect Repellent, £3, Tesco Absorbs quickly and prevents bites. Top tip: Great for exotic holidays. M&S Beauty Sun Smart After Sun Moisture Protect Creme Gel, £3.50, Marks & Spencer…

Makes: 10 Prep: 10 min Cook: 25 min Juice and zest of 2 large oranges 275g self-raising flour ½tsp bicarbonate of soda 75g caster sugar 1 large egg, beaten 90ml sunflower oil 6tbsp cranberry sauce 1tbsp demerara sugar 1 Preheat oven to 190C/ Gas 5 and line a muffin tin with 10 paper cases. 2 Measure orange juice, and make up to 180ml with water if necessary. 3 Mix flour, bicarbonate of soda, caster sugar and orange zest. 4 Mix egg, oil and cranberry sauce into orange juice, then mix into dry ingredients until just combined. 5 Spoon into cases, sprinkle with a little demerara sugar and bake for 20-25 min until well risen and golden. Leave to cool for a few min, then serve warm or cold. LIFE! DEATH!…

Just what the doctor ordered…a relaxed, sunny weekend exploring this historic town in Warwickshire! Where to stay? We booked into the Travelodge Regent Hotel, right in the heart of town, within easy walking distance of all the main sights. Better still were the tall, ionic columns flanking the doorway, and the colourful crest above the entrance. We felt like royalty! And rightly so, as Queen Victoria stayed here twice – once in 1830 and again in 1838. From our room, we’d impressive views over Leamington’s main street, and the Town Hall. What to do? After checking in, we made straight for Jephson Gardens, a stone’s throw from the hotel. The public gardens were created in the 1830s as a place for visitors to stroll once they’d had their spa treatments…